Is it selfish for me to want to take this job opportunity?

[MaybeTony]

I've got a chance to work in Denver for a year, which is really exciting for me since I've always dreamed of living there, especially because I love cycling and the great outdoors. Our little one would be about a year old by the time we'd move. My wife, though, isn't thrilled. She moved a lot as a kid and now, more than anything, wants to put down roots. She feels moving around isn't good for us as a family, especially with our track record of not staying in one place for too long. I see this as a once-in-a-lifetime adventure, but she sees it as me not considering what she and our family really need.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

My parents moved around all over the place when I was growing up in ways I deeply resented. It posed so many challenges to my childhood constantly being the new kid in school.

But at less than a year old, I really don't care. I would have rather my parents were just happy at that point and stayed together (they divorced) if I could have voiced my opinion back then.

I think you do have to put down roots at some point. Marriage should be about settling down in a literal sense. You don't want to stay nomadic. But maybe you can convince her it's the last time.

Does she work too? That complexifies things a lot if so.

[BarryLiverstone]

Is it selfish? Yes. But I would suggest you take a step back and consider how to set a 5 year goal of moving to a place your family would enjoy and broaden your career search. Certainly if the opportunity exists now another will open up in the future. By you staying where you are and focusing on your new family you are investing in a much bigger adventure than riding a bike.


Did she know about this dream before you got married? And do you live in a place you can’t go outside like Denver now?

[NathanDavis]

you said it yourself...

for you, it is an adventure for yourself... for her, it is the stability of her family

maybe change your thinking, this does not have to be "once in a lifetime" chance... if you managed to make it happen once, then you might be able to make it happen again, later, with better timing

[MaybeTony]

That’s fair but I’d see it as a lot harder once the kids are older.

[NathanDavis]

harder does not mean impossible... life is going to be hard anyway

just think about this... if you leave your wife and leave her alone with your children, you're not just making it hard for her, you will be making her every single day without you, a nightmare

why would you ever want to do that to your own family?

[midnightmoon05]

I am with you…i am not the type to stay in one place.. but my hubby also said I am atypical.. so my advice…go for it. Yiur kid is with you on this one lol.. wife will be fine once she has a helper. Get her a nanny… 😊

[BonzoInBitburg]

Might be a little selfish but stopping you from taking a once in a lifetime opportunity is also selfish. The kids one and won't care.

[MaybeTony]

Yeah that’s how I feel

[Anonymous]

The only justifiable reason would be if it meant more money for your family, and/or it was good for your career, which of course would be good for your family.

[MaybeTony]

I can have the same opportunity where we live now. Doesn’t make a difference where. I just don’t see it as hindering factor to move for a year. We’re still young so I figured we can still some more of the world

[Opinion Owner]

Moving suck. Just saying