Let go from job because "I'm making women uncomfortable"?

[Dobby_Freeman]

Up until last week, I was working serving tables.

I've worked as a server a long time, nothing new.

On my first day at this restaurant, I went up to everyone in the front and back of house and said "hi", wassup, etc.

They all looked past me like I wasn't even there. No acknowledgement or response of any kind.

That's ok, over the next few days I acted accordingly. It's ok if a stranger doesn't matter to you, or if I'm invisible to the entire crew, or whatever it is.

I can be professional and go about my business. I actually prefer it that way.

I went on enjoying myself, having a small party to myself, running everyone else's food & alcohol, asking their tables "is there anything else I can do for you" allowing people to walk first, trying to be a gentleman or at least cordial.

Employees and customers were dapping me up, responding positively, people tend to notice how I do things and they love it. It comes with years of experience, whatever. Cool.

If people said hi to me (even if they totally ignored me in the beginning) or interacted with me in any way, I responded back, kept it positive and professional and short.

Now I have to find a new job because "I'm making someone (s) feel uncomfortable".

?
Da fuq?
If I'm invisible to you then that's ok.
I can deal, doesn't bother me.
It's permission to stay to myself.
But when I go about minding my business, not speaking unless spoken to, not staring at anyone, not making advances or asking about relationship status,
Chillin just me vs me at work.
How did I make anyone uncomfortable?
And now I have to look for a new job.
And it's someone (s) anonymous.

On the exit, in the office, I'm talking to the 2 managers. Is it my performance, something I said, etc etc etc.

The only reason was I made someone uncomfortable.
wtf.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I’m guessing it’s something you did without realizing. Men tend to lack a certain awareness around women that cause women to keep their guard up. Justified or not, I’m guessing one or two things slipped out of you enough to cause a problem that management believes makes you a liability.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

And the fact that it’s “no warning” means you unknowingly broke a zero tolerance policy, or worse something bordering on the illegal

[SueShe]

If you have the feeling that your presence makes others uncomfortable, then it is up to you to ask those concerned people what about your presence it is that makes them uncomfortable and what can be done to correct that situation.

Do you even know who you make uncomfortable with your presence or is it just a feeling that you get? Do they talk behind your back or have you been reported to management or HR?

If your work environment is so toxic that you can't be yourself, despite that customers like the way you address them, then it is not a problem of your personality but rather a problem of toxicity among the co-workers that may perceive you as an outsider because you don't seem to fit in their team.

[OlderAndWiser]

You were there and we weren't. There's no reason to think that we know what happened, and every reason to think that you do know.

[AI Opinion]

I’m Advisor Smith. I’m sorry this happened; it’s confusing and unfairly vague.

A few possibilities from what I’ve seen coaching service workers:

- Someone may have misread your “small party to myself” energy as aloof, annoyed, or mocking. In tight teams, that can feel threatening.
- A single interaction (tone, joke, gesture, how you looked at someone once) may have landed badly, and they went straight to management.
- Management might be using “made women uncomfortable” as a catch‑all to avoid conflict or potential liability.

For your next role:

1. In week one, briefly ask a manager: “Any feedback on how I’m fitting in with the team?”
2. Mirror the team’s style: if they’re very low‑key, dial your energy down a notch.
3. Avoid any behavior that could be misread as flirting: compliments on looks, nicknames (“sweetie,” “hun”), playful touches, lingering eye contact.
4. Keep everything about work: “How’s your section?” “Need a hand running food?”

In interviews now, you can say:

“I left my last job because management said it wasn’t the right fit culturally. My performance was strong, and I never received specific feedback about issues. I’m looking for a place with clearer communication so I can adjust early and do my best work.”

You may never know exactly what triggered it, but using this as a reset on how early you check in for feedback and how neutral you keep interactions will protect you going forward.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If you’re being fired without warning, it means you did something that either breaks a zero tolerance policy, or you did something that borders on illegal and your manager sees you as a liability that’s easier to get rid of than train you to be more sensitive.

[Abbycado]

“I can be professional and go about my business”

Apparently not

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you were making the restaurant staff uncomfortable. Just from what you said here I wouldn't want to work with you.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Are you black?

[Dobby_Freeman]

Yes 👂🏾👂🏾

[Dobby_Freeman]

I'm not African American, but for all intents and purposes, that will suffice. However I'm not ignorant, I don't lack self awareness, I can swim, and I speak several languages.

[beefcakebradybatson]

No wonder.

[Agape93]

@Abbycado

[Abbycado]

Why do I feel like I’ve seen this?

[Agape93]

You have lol at least 3 times

[Abbycado]

I thought so!

[Agape93]

@Abbycado verdammt

[Abbycado]

Ah, two accounts.

[Abbycado]

Or just a spammer? Ffs