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Things To Do Or Avoid As A Single Parent, From The Child's Perspective

I grew up with my father, and he had a few girlfriends but never really settled down until I was about 8, when he knocked up one of his girlfriends.


My father was a single father, she didn't want anything to do with me until she moved in.


Things To Do Or Avoid As A Single Parent, From The Child's Perspective


Well, even when she was with my dad, I've noticed a lot of things to avoid doing when the parents of the child are split up. Here're things to avoid doing in that situation (assuming both parents are NOT abusive).



Don't blame the other one.


No matter what, don't blame the other parent. Don't say it's their fault whatever happened, happened.



Don't talk shit about the other one.


You can't control the other parent, they may be terrible and they may talk shit about you, but be an adult. It's been proven that negatively talking about the other parent will make the child feel bad about them self.



Don't try to turn them against the other parent.


It's bullshit, and it's "brainwashing". My father spent my entire childhood and teenhood telling me how bad my mom is and what a piece of shit she is etc. He wanted me to hate her because he hated her.



Allow visitation.


Allow visitation, let the other parent see the kid if you have the kid for the school day. If you don't let your kid see the other parent, they'll feel as if you're keeping them from their parent, and so will the other parent. It could cause a lot of unnecessary drama.


Things To Do Or Avoid As A Single Parent, From The Child's Perspective


Talk to the other parent.


Communication is the best. Don't talk to them in front of the child, you'll be holding back. Talk to the other parent in a calm manner, don't make anything a secret etc. Plan visitation days, or plan a day where you both take the kid out etc. You don't want your child feeling as if it's their fault their parents hate one another.



Don't use your kid as the messenger.


Don't have your kid tell the other parent something, tell them yourself. Don't have the other kid relaying messages between the two of you because you're too immature to man/woman up and talk to them.



Things To Do Or Avoid As A Single Parent, From The Child's Perspective



My little sister's dad and our mom are split up. They don't always follow those rules and I see how it hurts my sisters feelings. I feel bad for her because I know how it is. It's best to avoid any confrontation when possible (and I know it isn't always possible). You can't control the other parent but you can control yourself.



Now I know I'm not a parent, but I am the child of two parent's who're split up AND I do notice the way it affects my sister (and some friends) when the parents don't follow those rules. It negatively affects us. Try to think of the child before you get mad or take a course of action.

Things To Do Or Avoid As A Single Parent, From The Child's Perspective
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