Abuse isn't limited to romantic or parental relationships, it can occur with the ones you are supposed to have goofy times with and whose supposed to have your back and vise-versa. "Friends" can be toxic and abusive as well and these are just some of the questions that will have you ask.
"Do I have a friend or a 'friend'?"
"Am I allowed to have a different opinion than him?"
It could be something small like which candy bar is the best or it could be something big like religious beliefs, if you're friend insists that there is only one way, HIS way, then that's a big red flag that this person is abusive and trying to control you.
"Can she accept constructive criticism?"
Say that she is writing a paper for school and you politely offer her some grammatical fixes and, rather than thanking you and fixing it, she throws a fit and tells you to back off. If she does something like this by insisting that she can't be wrong and you can't be right, you may want to reconsider your friendship because this is a sign of narcissism.
"Does he constantly put me down?"
Similar to before, does he tell me how stupid/ugly/dorky I am in the rudest way possible? Unlike the previous scenario where you politely offer constructive criticism, he instead tells you how much you suck. Period. If this is your friend, this can be taken as a sign that the friendship is abusive.
"Does she let her envy dictate how feels towards others?"
You're at work and your friend really wants this promotion that's coming up. Up for this promotion are your friend and this other girl that you and your friend are friends with. The other girl gets it and your friend hates her guts now. Or it could be you vs your friend for the promotion and you get it instead and your friend hates your guts now. This is another sign of narcissism and you should consider rethinking being friends with her if this is her.
"Are you allowed to be friends with people he doesn't like?"
Similar to the previous scenario with the girl who got the promotion that your friend now hates, are you allowed to be friends with someone that you like but he doesn't for a petty reason such as the other guy got the job he wanted? Or does he say "we don't like him, we don't talk to him"? If this is the case, this person is controlling you and you should stop the friendship. And even more so if there's a double standard where he gets the final say in who you hang out with and meanwhile if they're friends with someone you don't like, you're just going to have to deal with it.
"Does she belittle me?"
Say you studied really hard for a math test and you get a passing grade on it and you go to tell your friend. But, rather than feel happy for you, she says in a disrespectful tone "it was easy for me. How hard could it have possibly been for you?" She is making you feel small and worthless. If this is her, you should consider ending the friendship.
"Would he be willing to embarrass me in front of others?"
If you have a large stain on your shirt that you don't want anyone noticing., and he yells "Hey! Look at that stain!" And points at it. If he is willing to embarrass you, this is a red flag that the friendship is abusive.
"Will she do anything to get attention?"
You both get invited to a wedding and your friend decides to wear the fanciest white dress that she can find. She is not doing this to you, true, but 1. You should be concerned for others (after all, she clearly isn't) 2. If she's willing to do this to get attention away from others, she would be willing to do the same to get attention away from you. Guaranteed. If this is her, cut all ties.
I could go on and name all the other questions to ask yourself, but I decided to name the ones that are seldom talked about and the ones I wish that I have asked myself when I was in an abusive friendship. She was insanely jealous of both my achievements and the achievements of others and if someone out-did her, she would dismiss them as a "selfish", "using their parents" etc. and when she couldn't use her own achievements to get attention, she decided to use drama that she created out of thin air and she belittled me constantly. But I stuck with her because I didn't see the red flags and I used the "but we were friends since we were kids" excuse. I will tell you right now, that is NOT a valid excuse to allow someone to treat you badly. Nothing is. And if your friend falls under any of these categories, you deserve better than them. You really do.
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