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Meeting my online friend was one of the most emotional things I've gone through!

Meeting my online friend was one of the most emotional things I've gone through!

Hi I wanted to talk about my experience meeting my online friend, I'm 16 and he Is 19, we met on a discord server and became good friends.

This wasn't emotional for the reason you may think, in fact it was because I am an isolated teenager. Not by choice by force, in 8th grade, I was forced out of school and guilt tripped into homeschooling by my mother because she had been sent to court 3 times in a row, so it was a "loop hole" to avoid attendance.

When I mean socially isolated I 100% mean it, I hadn't seen or met up with a friend since 2014, that's 5 years. Not even a 10 minute "hey how are things", it became so bad I developed depression and tried to end my life twice, i started sleeping away the days, feeling worthless no sense of direction because of the unstructured home life and lack of education, all I had was my online friends to confide in.

People online open up way more than in real life. Somehow I persuaded my mum to meet my polish friend, I think it's because I paid for an extra night at a hotel for her (she can't handle money) I was so incredibly nervous..

The GPS showed 20 minutes away, give and then 1, we got out the car and walked towards the statue where he was I noticed his sunglasses he often wore in his pictures straight away, I'm 5"4 and he's like 6"3? But not lanky at all very well built but not muscly, he was intimidating at first but after we hugged and was left to our own accord the ice broke within two minutes.

Usually when I'm in a town, my main goal is walk fast and get to my end point as soon as possible, Leicester was packed, yet for once... Not a single insecurity or doubt or self judgement went into my mind, NOT ONE. It was amazing, we carried on walking and talking for ages we ended up going to a pub, and we had fish and chips things got off to an easy start it was amazing,

the conversation flowed naturally and we were already poking, tickling and acting like best friends completely comfortable, to be free to walk around without my mother since 5 years, was so empowering and emotional.

We went to Abbey Park, and it was our lucky day there was a fair set up there just a pop up one, we went on this high GeForce ride and of course bumper cars but his legs could hardly fit😂

He showed me some beautiful graffiti walls he found, all beautiful realistic amazing portraits. The day just flew by, so easily for saying there was no plans no destination, it has been the happiest day of my life since moving here.

My mum, called us back early of course, she ended up shouting at him because we were late literal screaming, so we had a brief hug and I got into the car, somehow my mum felt bad, as she saw how nice of a guy he was, how he was respectful to her even when she was screaming at him,

so ar 8:30PM we went back, we all had dinner so we could clear things up, we ended up staying out until midnight, as we approached the car park again my mother let us have alone time, and we hugged for such a long long time, just feeling his inhales and exhales was enough to make me have to fight back the tears, at the end it took a spin, not one I felt pressured into not one I felt uncomfortable with, he knew I was extremely insecure, yet when we pulled away from the hug, he put his finger under my chin so I looked him in the eyes, and said you have such a pretty face, I don't know why you are insecure.

For a few seconds I just stared right into his eyes, like something out of a cliche romance.. Honestly now that I look back at it I doubt it was even real. For some stupid reason he picked me up bridal style even though I'm never the girl to be picked up, I get easily worried and at first I hesitated, but I thought I'm never going to see him again, so he picked me up bridal style and walked me down a bit further on the path, and I felt comfortable it was my first time being held like that at 16.

He he put me down and immediately I went in for another hug, inhaling his cologne and holding him so tight because I knew I would never do this again, I tried to prolong going to the car park as much as I can, before we had the cliche moments we were just tickling eachother and laughing etc, he walked me to the car, and I gave him another hug, I watched him walk away and I just felt awful.

when I got home and upstairs away from everyone, I started crying uncontrollably out of nowhere at first I couldn't pin point it, where was it coming from? I cried and slept for the rest of the day, and I finally figured it out at 2AM Here in England,

It's because in a day, I gained something and had a normal day free of any worries doing what normal teenagers do, and in a day I lost it too, I was back to my normal staring at the screen and constant arguments and disruptive home life with my family, even now as in writing this I'm still crying.

I went to sleep with my teddy, baby teddy and the matching penguins we got, I was thinking in that moment, maybe we should have kissed, I could see the sparkle in his eyes and the "moment" but we both knew, that we it would be better for us to leave the day as it was, perfect instead of possibly ruining our friendship with a straining internet relationship.

Thank you you for reading, I needed to get this out, share your online meet ups below ❤️

Meeting my online friend was one of the most emotional things I've gone through!
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