Let's replace the word "spank", with what it really is...
Do I think it is okay to cause intentional physical harm to your children? No, whether or not it causes any permanent physical or emotional damage. It is simply unethical in and of itself. Period.
No, I have never been spanked. I was raised in a somewhat "traditional" household, in which I probably would have been spanked if there was ever a reason to. But there wasn't. I happened to think that the rules I grew up with were fair and reasonable, and I was given enough freedom to be satisfied for the time being--so I never broke them.
No, I would not spank my kids. Granted, I don't want kids, but even if I did, I wouldn't spank them.
I was spanked and I believe with some kids spanking is the only thing that works. I never had to spank my son as time outs worked for him. But my daughter is a different story. Nothing worked except spanking her but. And trust me I tried time outs, reward jars, etc... If i put her in her room with a baby gate to make her stay, she kicked it out. If I shut the door, she put holes in the walls and broke the door. Screaming the whole time. She was one out of control little girl and spanking her was the only thing that got her attention and made her stop her fit. I use to think spanking was unnecessary because like I said my son responded to time outs. So I thought every kid was that easy. Boy was I wrong. And now my daughters behavior is under control where time out work. Every kid is different.
@Raymond_Reddington. She was like a psychopath. Thank God spanking her to correct her behavior worked. Because nothing else did. Just goes to show you how kids are very different. And we haven't had to spank her for a few years now. I seriously started having panic attacks because there was no peace in our home with her. She had this fascination with anything liquid so if you gave her cereal she'd pour it out on the table to play with it.
She would sneak the dish soap or hand soap and pour it on her TV, table, or anywhere she could run her fingers through it. If she didn't have those things she would pour her juice. It scared me with her TV because a liquid could make it explode. She couldn't be out of your sight or she would sneak something. I had our home locked up with safety locks but someone would come over and she would see hand sanitizer in their purse she'd take. She is way to smart for her own good but didn't think about the consequences or how she was making everyone on edge. Now she's smart, super compassionate, doesn't want to let you down, we just need to be stern with her if she's doing something. She does seem to lack impulse control which is why we are having her tested. But life is peaceful again and that's because when all else failed we spanked her. The shock of it allowed her brain to stop and listen. And the short pain was enough for her to think about the consequences.
In my country the child protective services would take your children from you and the court would either heavily fine you, send you to prison or ban you from meeting your children if you spank them. Even if you're ghosting them this might happen. It's because of physically and mentally abusing children makes the child more likely to get trauma and mental disorders. While not every children gets equal scarred, it's still way more that gets negative effects than children that gets treated with respect.
I do support that law because learning children that violence toward people who are weaker than them is okay makes a toxic society. Violence creates more violence. It's ways to learn a child what's right and wrong telling them it in a constructive way and respect without inflicting pain or any forms of abuse. If a child hit someone, you should tell them that's not okay because it's hurting someone and they can feel pain like the child himself.
Why would you teach your child violence?
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I was spanked once or twice, and I don't want kids but I disagree with it in general (one of the reasons I don't want kids is I think I'd be an abusive parent :/ )
It just doesn't work as a way of modifying behaviour. It causes the kid to fear their parent which is never going to make for a healthy relationship. It teaches the kid to avoid getting caught doing whatever they were doing, rather than getting them to understand the actual reasons they shouldn't do it. And it teaches them that might makes right; that hurting others= power. All fucked up results.
Any form of punishment you give to a kid can bring spite or cause damage so research says. I feared my father's belt till about 12 to 13 as he wasn't going to hit me harder than he should. Spanking is a healthy way to discipline a child. However, it is not meant for every situation. Some situations require explanation of why you can't cuss. Thus my mouth was washed with a bar of soap. (It works) most generations before ours have used this method and it works. The reason you spank on the butt is because it is a meaty area of your body that DOES NOT cause permanent damage unless you are excessively abusing. Hitting in the face or torso is not a spank. Learning is the goal in punishment, it's why it was invented.
I'll argue with you here, not on the meaning, just on definitions. Punishment isn't bad, using pain and fear as punishment is bad. For context of how I define punishment; "In behavioral science, though, “punishment” just means anything that decreases the preceding behavior. For example, say your spouse likes to flip through the channels on the TV but hates country music. If you put on country music when the channel flipping starts and it causes the behavior to diminish, then you’ve just punished your spouse", it's actually from Caeser Millan's webpage, honestly I think the way he teaches punishment can be applied to more than just dogs. I agree heavily that learning is the goal of punishment, but not that any form of punishment can cause damage. Punishment can be purely good when applied correctly.
I've been smacked on the face, but not spanked. And 97% of the time, it was always them (mainly my mom) accusing me of anything and everything, so I basically didn't deserve it. I don't know if I am traumatized by the smacking itself; I think I am traumatized because I got smacked for almost nothing. Even today whenever I say something that's off she will immediately start screaming and bitching at the top of her lungs about how nothing she does makes her happy, how I don't care or love her, blah blah blah. It's all an attempt to make me feel like shit. Make a small child feel bad about something he didn't even do or intend to do or even know what to do and then continue to make him feel bad 10, 11 years later. That's fucking smart you fat lazy bitch
Nope, physically harming children traumatizes them for life, especially if it's done by their own parents, who they're supposed to be able to trust and feel safe with.
I was spanked a lot as a kid. My dad did it for the shock factor and not to cause pain, whereas my mom did it with the intention of causing pain by using my dads leather belts. (I don’t think she realized that at the time, and she still denies it to this day). I would spank my kids the way my dad spanked me, but not the way my mom did. You should never intentionally harm your child.
@Valiant preach! It's almost eery how your parents are EXACTLY the same as mine when it comes to this stuff. My mom and dad approach the issue differently in the exact same way. Have you spoken to your mom to let her know the impact of her way of disciplining on you whe you were growing up? My mom still spanks my younger sis (who's 7) and I've always wanted to make sure she understands how I feel before she makes any similar mistakes with my sister. Actually can you PM me? Would be useful to get your advice on this..
Regarding spanking kids as "not right" means that dogs are better trained than our own children. Dogs are trained using a reward-punish system... in which if he does what you said right, you reward him (mostly by food), and if the dog does not do what you said, or did it in a wrong way, you punish him (by hitting him slightly or by not giving him food, etc..). Your kids, on the other hand, are not punished for what they do wrong and are rewarded for what they do right, so how will they distinguish the right from the wrong?
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Ok. So growing up to Mexican American parents, they beat us. Lol.
But there were rare occasions because I quickly learned that if i acted out, I’d get a beating. When I was about 7, I threw a fit at Walmart over a toy, my mom took me to the restroom and spanked me.
Never threw a fit in public again.
I always see kids in public misbehaving when they’re old enough to know better (or should know better) and their parents are just on their phone. It’s more the parents fault than the kid, but still. Almost makes me want to spank other people’s kids. Lol
I don't see a point. All spanking does is show children that larger, authority figures can abuse their physical strength over somebody who is weaker than them. Once they get too big to hit, you've already lost out on your ability to actually mentally condition them to understand right or wrong.
if you don't spank your children they have nothing to be held accountable for they can do what they want at any given moment because they have nothing to answer to. They can stay out late at night and come back home late and what are you going to do ground them? They'll just laugh it off and the next thing you know they will just open the door and come out of their room and do what they want stay up all night watch TV walk out of the house then what are you going to do as parents call the cops and say my kids came out of thier room and are staying up late after 3 in the morning watching television and they won't listen to me? If they have to answer to a good spanking the Fear Factor begins and they will not defy you no more. I know this because the spankings were my Fear Factor and I behaved
it's not abusing them the spankings. I was spanked and was not abused. What other ways is there to punish a child? There's no other way, they can basically tell you to kiss their ass. If they're not spanked they are not held accountable for anything. All they have to do is walk and smile. And the kid is taking control of the house. Telling a rebelliont 14 year old boy to go to your bedroom is not going to cut it. And if he tells you no then what are you going to do as a parent spank him? That's the answer right there
Dunno as I live Sweden and it's literally illegal to spank or punish children with violence. I was never spanked but I was still punished. "There's no other way"? Bro my parents took away my freedom and didn't let me be with my friends when that was still a thing when I was younger then they just took anything that I enjoyed like my games when I was around 10 years old and they've taken away my phone several times but last time was when I was like 11 because I have done much stupid shit the last few years. You the parent bought the stuff to the child, no? Then you have the right to take it away from the child so he or she has a shit time and for the child not to shit time they have to behave or they'll continue to have a boring ass time. You just take away the fun... Children get bored easly so they'll give in easly. Even a 14 year old rebellious kid will give after days of just being bored and if they find something else which they enjoy just take that away too...
I've been spanked as a child and grown to distrust and hate my father because of that. He realized that he was wrong and apologized to me as I was about 20, but I never developed a good relationship with him until he died. I do not want my own children to mistrust/hate their parents.
Pretty much what @Shimy said. It was only when something really bad happened. I wasn't beaten by any means. I don't think it's THE go to for everything, but I don't think it's as 'scarring' as everyone makes it out to be if used correctly. Obviously need to exercise other consequences and behavioral tips along with it.
I think beating children will not make them more disciplined, it will just make them hate you. Being hit doesn't have to leave you traumatised, but that's definitely not a reason to spank someone wtf? It still feels awful, especially for a kid who can't defend itself. I was spanked once and that was enough for my parents to never do it again. My dad is still stronger than me but my mom was smart for not doing it again because if she did she could be sure that I would pay back every single hit I had to take.
yep. i'll spank my children for sure. all these people saying "omg it's SCARRING, such psychological issues, much hatred and disdain, critical future issues" and then say they've never been spanked. lmao OKAY. keep speaking on something you've never experienced. there's a line between abuse and discipline and you people are getting those wires crossed and it's a little annoying.
Just because you've never experienced it doesn't mean you can't imagine how it would be. Like, my parents aren't smart. I was yelled at for doing something that I didn't understand like turning on a washing machine. Imagine being punished/spanked for doing something that you never understood. Nobody ever told me that this machine is for blah blah blah and you shouldn't turn it on. Spanking just isn't for every child or family. I think it should be used as a last resort after trying to be understanding and talking to your kids.
@Elaine_17 see, that's not a spanking type thing. a spanking would be for breaking it or some shit. you all think that spanking happens for the littlest thing (not knowing how to use a washing machine when you've never been taught) when that's not even the case. this is why it's annoying.
No, it CAN happen for the littlest thing. Jesus. Parents can use it for even the littlest of reasons. It's just a tool that CAN instill fear. You are also ASSUMING that we expect that spanking happens for the littlest thing. No, you have this wrong. Spanking is like a tool. It's like hitting a child with a paddle instead of a hand. Spanking depends on each case in the family. Just because you have been taught that way DOES NOT MEAN that it is for everybody. I don't think you understand the point I'm trying to make.
@Elaine_17 and that's ABUSE. once again things are getting crossed. ffs. either way, my kid's getting spanked. just go give your child a cookie for messing up and leave disciplinary differences to the people who want to spank their kid.
Who ever said I'd give them a fucking cookie to them? I'm saying there are OTHER METHODS THAN SPANKING. You still don't seem to understand my point. Why don't you let the intelligent people make decisions instead of your dumb self that seems to not want to acknowledge the fact that there are other methods to spanking, and that spanking is not for everyone. I, at least, acknowledge that it works for SOME CHILDREN, but not all of them, so go get an education.
@Elaine_17 as much as i love a good discussion, we both will never change our stances... so, godspeed with your kiddos, hun. i must admit though, i didn't read all of that paragraph. i think you're getting too serious and angry for my internet taste.
If you want your kid, to obey you, you should teach your kiddo, to respect you, as a parent but, on the contrast, father's authority in a family is these days, severely questioned, by females, who don't understand why these ideologies still exist. They want to change male dominance in every field, I get it, but it has its own consequences, too. Males, are given a natural, authority, which you females can't change, by dressing or acting like an authority. Well, this is the same thinking which goes in parallel with today's mothers not teaching the family values, of respecting the father.
Parents have the right to punish their kids, which no one can question. Good parents, will ultimately, punish, their kid based on the misbehaviour, to keep the kid, growing in the right direction, as a person.
Over punishment won't do no good, but will only cause them to think negatively. If you are not gonna groom them properly, you gonna face the consequences.
Males r not really given a natural authority. It’s just that females didn’t mind taking a backseat in the past. It’s all just social constructs. U don’t have to dress a certain way to act like authority. Children should respect both of the parents.
Well, the social construct, you said, was in place, to keep the family together. With kids, not respecting their father, as an authority and their mother not encouraging them, to see him as the guardian, idea of a family is broken, you know?
Why should only the father get respected but not the mother? So if the father isn't around and he's busy at work, the mother can't do anything herself?
Most of people I know today whom were spanked are not enjoyable to talk with, they seems ignorants the way they talk. The normal kid can understand when you tell him what is right and what is wrong, and I think its enough to stop talking to him for a while when he don't listen to you, because he will miss the person who used to answer his all questions especially if he was a talkative kid. And, when you decide to get back talking to him and answering his questions he must know the reason of being not talking to him. Beside that, kids likes surprises and gifts, so you can use it to make them keep the correct behavior. And, always you must tell your kid the reason of every decision you make against him to let him know how he must act next time.
Spanking kids is important but it must be in a limit. If parents overdo it, a child will be mentally disturbed & cannot trust them. Same here. I was beat almost everyday by my father & mother both. There are still marks on my skin. I was really upset & couldn't focus on myself. My parents did this till I was 18. Academic pressure on me was constant. So much restrictions were there on me- I was not allowed to play any game whether it is indoor or outdoor. Now I don't share any of my personal experience with them. I don't like to talk with them. I talk with them only when they ask something.
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Opinion
122Opinion
Let's replace the word "spank", with what it really is...
Do I think it is okay to cause intentional physical harm to your children? No, whether or not it causes any permanent physical or emotional damage. It is simply unethical in and of itself. Period.
No, I have never been spanked. I was raised in a somewhat "traditional" household, in which I probably would have been spanked if there was ever a reason to. But there wasn't. I happened to think that the rules I grew up with were fair and reasonable, and I was given enough freedom to be satisfied for the time being--so I never broke them.
No, I would not spank my kids. Granted, I don't want kids, but even if I did, I wouldn't spank them.
I was spanked and I believe with some kids spanking is the only thing that works. I never had to spank my son as time outs worked for him. But my daughter is a different story. Nothing worked except spanking her but. And trust me I tried time outs, reward jars, etc... If i put her in her room with a baby gate to make her stay, she kicked it out. If I shut the door, she put holes in the walls and broke the door. Screaming the whole time. She was one out of control little girl and spanking her was the only thing that got her attention and made her stop her fit. I use to think spanking was unnecessary because like I said my son responded to time outs. So I thought every kid was that easy. Boy was I wrong. And now my daughters behavior is under control where time out work. Every kid is different.
Your daughter kinda sounds like a psychopath
This is exactly the type of long l situation I think is suitable for a spanking. People don't think about spanking as corrective, only as abusive.
Not long...*
@Raymond_Reddington. She was like a psychopath. Thank God spanking her to correct her behavior worked. Because nothing else did. Just goes to show you how kids are very different. And we haven't had to spank her for a few years now. I seriously started having panic attacks because there was no peace in our home with her. She had this fascination with anything liquid so if you gave her cereal she'd pour it out on the table to play with it.
She would sneak the dish soap or hand soap and pour it on her TV, table, or anywhere she could run her fingers through it. If she didn't have those things she would pour her juice. It scared me with her TV because a liquid could make it explode. She couldn't be out of your sight or she would sneak something. I had our home locked up with safety locks but someone would come over and she would see hand sanitizer in their purse she'd take. She is way to smart for her own good but didn't think about the consequences or how she was making everyone on edge. Now she's smart, super compassionate, doesn't want to let you down, we just need to be stern with her if she's doing something. She does seem to lack impulse control which is why we are having her tested. But life is peaceful again and that's because when all else failed we spanked her. The shock of it allowed her brain to stop and listen. And the short pain was enough for her to think about the consequences.
In my country the child protective services would take your children from you and the court would either heavily fine you, send you to prison or ban you from meeting your children if you spank them. Even if you're ghosting them this might happen. It's because of physically and mentally abusing children makes the child more likely to get trauma and mental disorders. While not every children gets equal scarred, it's still way more that gets negative effects than children that gets treated with respect.
I do support that law because learning children that violence toward people who are weaker than them is okay makes a toxic society. Violence creates more violence. It's ways to learn a child what's right and wrong telling them it in a constructive way and respect without inflicting pain or any forms of abuse. If a child hit someone, you should tell them that's not okay because it's hurting someone and they can feel pain like the child himself.
Why would you teach your child violence?
I was spanked once or twice, and I don't want kids but I disagree with it in general (one of the reasons I don't want kids is I think I'd be an abusive parent :/ )
It just doesn't work as a way of modifying behaviour. It causes the kid to fear their parent which is never going to make for a healthy relationship. It teaches the kid to avoid getting caught doing whatever they were doing, rather than getting them to understand the actual reasons they shouldn't do it. And it teaches them that might makes right; that hurting others= power. All fucked up results.
Any form of punishment you give to a kid can bring spite or cause damage so research says. I feared my father's belt till about 12 to 13 as he wasn't going to hit me harder than he should. Spanking is a healthy way to discipline a child. However, it is not meant for every situation. Some situations require explanation of why you can't cuss. Thus my mouth was washed with a bar of soap. (It works) most generations before ours have used this method and it works. The reason you spank on the butt is because it is a meaty area of your body that DOES NOT cause permanent damage unless you are excessively abusing. Hitting in the face or torso is not a spank. Learning is the goal in punishment, it's why it was invented.
I'll argue with you here, not on the meaning, just on definitions. Punishment isn't bad, using pain and fear as punishment is bad. For context of how I define punishment; "In behavioral science, though, “punishment” just means anything that decreases the preceding behavior. For example, say your spouse likes to flip through the channels on the TV but hates country music. If you put on country music when the channel flipping starts and it causes the behavior to diminish, then you’ve just punished your spouse", it's actually from Caeser Millan's webpage, honestly I think the way he teaches punishment can be applied to more than just dogs. I agree heavily that learning is the goal of punishment, but not that any form of punishment can cause damage. Punishment can be purely good when applied correctly.
I've been smacked on the face, but not spanked.
And 97% of the time, it was always them (mainly my mom) accusing me of anything and everything, so I basically didn't deserve it.
I don't know if I am traumatized by the smacking itself; I think I am traumatized because I got smacked for almost nothing.
Even today whenever I say something that's off she will immediately start screaming and bitching at the top of her lungs about how nothing she does makes her happy, how I don't care or love her, blah blah blah. It's all an attempt to make me feel like shit. Make a small child feel bad about something he didn't even do or intend to do or even know what to do and then continue to make him feel bad 10, 11 years later.
That's fucking smart you fat lazy bitch
Nope, physically harming children traumatizes them for life, especially if it's done by their own parents, who they're supposed to be able to trust and feel safe with.
If that fucker (Kid) goes out of his way to do shit and i know that i rather spank him than calling the Police.
@Freduns You are sick in the head and should never be allowed near any children, let alone have any of your own.
I was spanked a lot as a kid. My dad did it for the shock factor and not to cause pain, whereas my mom did it with the intention of causing pain by using my dads leather belts. (I don’t think she realized that at the time, and she still denies it to this day). I would spank my kids the way my dad spanked me, but not the way my mom did. You should never intentionally harm your child.
@Valiant preach! It's almost eery how your parents are EXACTLY the same as mine when it comes to this stuff. My mom and dad approach the issue differently in the exact same way. Have you spoken to your mom to let her know the impact of her way of disciplining on you whe you were growing up? My mom still spanks my younger sis (who's 7) and I've always wanted to make sure she understands how I feel before she makes any similar mistakes with my sister. Actually can you PM me? Would be useful to get your advice on this..
Regarding spanking kids as "not right" means that dogs are better trained than our own children. Dogs are trained using a reward-punish system... in which if he does what you said right, you reward him (mostly by food), and if the dog does not do what you said, or did it in a wrong way, you punish him (by hitting him slightly or by not giving him food, etc..). Your kids, on the other hand, are not punished for what they do wrong and are rewarded for what they do right, so how will they distinguish the right from the wrong?
Ok. So growing up to Mexican American parents, they beat us. Lol.
But there were rare occasions because I quickly learned that if i acted out, I’d get a beating. When I was about 7, I threw a fit at Walmart over a toy, my mom took me to the restroom and spanked me.
Never threw a fit in public again.
I always see kids in public misbehaving when they’re old enough to know better (or should know better) and their parents are just on their phone. It’s more the parents fault than the kid, but still. Almost makes me want to spank other people’s kids. Lol
I don't see a point. All spanking does is show children that larger, authority figures can abuse their physical strength over somebody who is weaker than them. Once they get too big to hit, you've already lost out on your ability to actually mentally condition them to understand right or wrong.
if you don't spank your children they have nothing to be held accountable for they can do what they want at any given moment because they have nothing to answer to. They can stay out late at night and come back home late and what are you going to do ground them? They'll just laugh it off and the next thing you know they will just open the door and come out of their room and do what they want stay up all night watch TV walk out of the house then what are you going to do as parents call the cops and say my kids came out of thier room and are staying up late after 3 in the morning watching television and they won't listen to me? If they have to answer to a good spanking the Fear Factor begins and they will not defy you no more. I know this because the spankings were my Fear Factor and I behaved
There's a lot of ways to punish kids which isn't abusing them...
it's not abusing them the spankings. I was spanked and was not abused. What other ways is there to punish a child? There's no other way, they can basically tell you to kiss their ass. If they're not spanked they are not held accountable for anything. All they have to do is walk and smile. And the kid is taking control of the house. Telling a rebelliont 14 year old boy to go to your bedroom is not going to cut it. And if he tells you no then what are you going to do as a parent spank him? That's the answer right there
Dunno as I live Sweden and it's literally illegal to spank or punish children with violence. I was never spanked but I was still punished. "There's no other way"? Bro my parents took away my freedom and didn't let me be with my friends when that was still a thing when I was younger then they just took anything that I enjoyed like my games when I was around 10 years old and they've taken away my phone several times but last time was when I was like 11 because I have done much stupid shit the last few years. You the parent bought the stuff to the child, no? Then you have the right to take it away from the child so he or she has a shit time and for the child not to shit time they have to behave or they'll continue to have a boring ass time. You just take away the fun... Children get bored easly so they'll give in easly. Even a 14 year old rebellious kid will give after days of just being bored and if they find something else which they enjoy just take that away too...
I haven't done much stupid shit the last few years*
I've been spanked as a child and grown to distrust and hate my father because of that. He realized that he was wrong and apologized to me as I was about 20, but I never developed a good relationship with him until he died.
I do not want my own children to mistrust/hate their parents.
In every way possible it has been shown that corporal punishment produces the opposite of the desired effect in children.
Are you surprised though at the repulsive views of most GaGers on this? To think that some of them are gonna have children sickens me.
Pretty much what @Shimy said. It was only when something really bad happened. I wasn't beaten by any means. I don't think it's THE go to for everything, but I don't think it's as 'scarring' as everyone makes it out to be if used correctly. Obviously need to exercise other consequences and behavioral tips along with it.
I think beating children will not make them more disciplined, it will just make them hate you. Being hit doesn't have to leave you traumatised, but that's definitely not a reason to spank someone wtf? It still feels awful, especially for a kid who can't defend itself. I was spanked once and that was enough for my parents to never do it again. My dad is still stronger than me but my mom was smart for not doing it again because if she did she could be sure that I would pay back every single hit I had to take.
yep. i'll spank my children for sure.
all these people saying "omg it's SCARRING, such psychological issues, much hatred and disdain, critical future issues" and then say they've never been spanked.
lmao OKAY. keep speaking on something you've never experienced. there's a line between abuse and discipline and you people are getting those wires crossed and it's a little annoying.
Thank you , that's exactly my point.
Just because you've never experienced it doesn't mean you can't imagine how it would be. Like, my parents aren't smart. I was yelled at for doing something that I didn't understand like turning on a washing machine. Imagine being punished/spanked for doing something that you never understood. Nobody ever told me that this machine is for blah blah blah and you shouldn't turn it on. Spanking just isn't for every child or family. I think it should be used as a last resort after trying to be understanding and talking to your kids.
@Elaine_17 see, that's not a spanking type thing. a spanking would be for breaking it or some shit.
you all think that spanking happens for the littlest thing (not knowing how to use a washing machine when you've never been taught) when that's not even the case. this is why it's annoying.
No, it CAN happen for the littlest thing. Jesus. Parents can use it for even the littlest of reasons. It's just a tool that CAN instill fear. You are also ASSUMING that we expect that spanking happens for the littlest thing. No, you have this wrong. Spanking is like a tool. It's like hitting a child with a paddle instead of a hand. Spanking depends on each case in the family. Just because you have been taught that way DOES NOT MEAN that it is for everybody. I don't think you understand the point I'm trying to make.
@Elaine_17 and that's ABUSE. once again things are getting crossed. ffs.
either way, my kid's getting spanked.
just go give your child a cookie for messing up and leave disciplinary differences to the people who want to spank their kid.
Who ever said I'd give them a fucking cookie to them? I'm saying there are OTHER METHODS THAN SPANKING. You still don't seem to understand my point. Why don't you let the intelligent people make decisions instead of your dumb self that seems to not want to acknowledge the fact that there are other methods to spanking, and that spanking is not for everyone. I, at least, acknowledge that it works for SOME CHILDREN, but not all of them, so go get an education.
@Elaine_17 as much as i love a good discussion, we both will never change our stances... so, godspeed with your kiddos, hun.
i must admit though, i didn't read all of that paragraph. i think you're getting too serious and angry for my internet taste.
Well, you honestly sound angry in my opinion which was why I was getting angry.
If you want your kid, to obey you, you should teach your kiddo, to respect you, as a parent but, on the contrast, father's authority in a family is these days, severely questioned, by females, who don't understand why these ideologies still exist. They want to change male dominance in every field, I get it, but it has its own consequences, too. Males, are given a natural, authority, which you females can't change, by dressing or acting like an authority. Well, this is the same thinking which goes in parallel with today's mothers not teaching the family values, of respecting the father.
Parents have the right to punish their kids, which no one can question. Good parents, will ultimately, punish, their kid based on the misbehaviour, to keep the kid, growing in the right direction, as a person.
Over punishment won't do no good, but will only cause them to think negatively. If you are not gonna groom them properly, you gonna face the consequences.
Males r not really given a natural authority. It’s just that females didn’t mind taking a backseat in the past. It’s all just social constructs. U don’t have to dress a certain way to act like authority. Children should respect both of the parents.
Well, the social construct, you said, was in place, to keep the family together. With kids, not respecting their father, as an authority and their mother not encouraging them, to see him as the guardian, idea of a family is broken, you know?
@ReenaJohnson
Ya, I agree that, they should respect both parents.
You can't throw away, all your traditions and turn your back on the culture, you are part off. That's not a good thing.
Both of the parents can be authorities. It doesn’t have to be a fight for dominance.
OK, you win 😇😇😄😄
Why should only the father get respected but not the mother? So if the father isn't around and he's busy at work, the mother can't do anything herself?
I didn't said anything like that @Vesuvius87 You are twisting my words. I had already quoted "both needs to be respected".
Then both should be in charge of establishing rules, not just the father. Both should work as teammates.
Most of people I know today whom were spanked are not enjoyable to talk with, they seems ignorants the way they talk. The normal kid can understand when you tell him what is right and what is wrong, and I think its enough to stop talking to him for a while when he don't listen to you, because he will miss the person who used to answer his all questions especially if he was a talkative kid. And, when you decide to get back talking to him and answering his questions he must know the reason of being not talking to him. Beside that, kids likes surprises and gifts, so you can use it to make them keep the correct behavior. And, always you must tell your kid the reason of every decision you make against him to let him know how he must act next time.
Spanking kids is important but it must be in a limit. If parents overdo it, a child will be mentally disturbed & cannot trust them. Same here.
I was beat almost everyday by my father & mother both. There are still marks on my skin. I was really upset & couldn't focus on myself. My parents did this till I was 18.
Academic pressure on me was constant.
So much restrictions were there on me- I was not allowed to play any game whether it is indoor or outdoor.
Now I don't share any of my personal experience with them.
I don't like to talk with them. I talk with them only when they ask something.