So many people assume that a straight girl and a guy being good friends will result in one having feelings for the other or something- I just don't get it.
I'm straight and I'm friends with some straight guys, some were in my friendship group at secondary school- a couple I hangout with at college sometimes, and we don't have romantic feelings for each other or anything.
Like I said I just don't get why people think. Straight girl + Straight guy = If they're friends they'll eventually fall in love.
It's just silly to me. š¤·š¾š¤·š¾Yes!! xD
Why Is It That People Think Girls and Guys Can't Just Be Friends With No Kind Of Romantic Feelings?
Every single female friend I have ever had I was attracted too and willing to have sex with and every single female friend I have ever had felt the same way. I know this because even the ones I wasn't friends with benefits with or eventually dated told me that they were attracted to me and wanted me to make a move on them several years after the fact. A female friend/co-worker of mine is currently engaged to another man and her and I did fool around a bit before they started to date. Now, her and I are still good friends but because she's engaged she refuses to ever hang out with me at my place or at her place with just the two of us. Even though she knows nothing will happen and I know nothing will happen she just doesn't feel that it's right. We do, every once in a while, go to the bar and get some drinks after work and just shoot the shit. He's unaware of our past and is perfectly fine with her hanging out with me but she doesn't because she wouldn't feel comfortable if he hung out at another woman's place just him and her or if another woman hung out with him at his place just the two of them. And honestly, if I was in a relationship with someone I'd feel the same way. I'd be perfectly fine if my girlfriend had a male friend but there's no way in hell I'd be okay if they hung out just the two of them at either ones house. So, I think guys and girls can be friends but even if neither party makes it aware at least one of them is going to get feelings for the other.
I don't know. For some reason all of my good platonic friendships girls eventually developed into something sexual. From there sometimes it has developed into exclusive relationship and another times it was a friends with benefits situation. In almost every case the girl pursued me. Of course that doesn't mean I wasn't happy to reciprocate. I've given it a lot of thought and I think that as humans we are highly sexual. We want sex and often we will get it wherever we can. But we prefer to get it with somebody that we trust. Everybody has stretches of involuntary celibacy. Who better to help you with that than a friend?
I used to be best friends with a girl who was not my girlfriend. Of course we eventually started having sex now and again to scratch the itch. It became the normal. The friends with benefits situation persisted for a few years and that status didn't change even when we were in relationships with others. It's not like we were having a torrid affair with each other but it was also understood that we were always available for each other no matter what our relationship status was. Now that I think about it, I miss that relationship because that's how I think a relationship should be. Two people who really care about each other without jealousy.
Because they haven't experienced it. The kind of people who think men and women can't be just friends are the same people who dismiss anything they haven't experienced.
Whenever you see that butthurt mgtow troll using the logic "i got cheated on therefore all women cheat." Or "this girl i know likes big dick therefore all women are size queens." The same stupid concept is found in the argument: "i can't be just friends with women therefore no one can."
These people find it hard to maintain friendships because they're incessantly perverted and thirsty, often misinterpreting completely benign, friendly gestures as invitation for romance or sex. These people need to grow the fuck up, learn how to be friends with someone, and then they too can enjoy being friends with their male AND female peers.
A lot of relationships/marriages start off with being friends firs, but not all. For me, it doesnāt matter if youāre friends first because once you start dating him, he will show you a completely different side that you never could have known before you started dating him. And, If youāre not dating him, then 99% of other guys will always want to secretly bang you and thatās just a fact of life. However, with very firm boundaries, and about 40 years difference in age, a man and a woman could be just friends.
You'll understand it as you get older. The issue is less that men and women CAN'T be friends, it's that they rarely ever are, and the reason for that lies in terrible communication between the genders. The reality is that your time is limited, and because you only have so much time in a day; you only want to spend it with the best/most worthwhile people you can, doing the most worthwhile things that you can. Generally speaking in life, there isn't a whole lot that is more important than getting laid and pumping out babies.
Okay, so men and women really only have one reason to interact with each other, and that reason is love/sex. The stress of communicating with each other, and all the misunderstandings just makes it so unpleasant with so many people, that it's much more comfortable to interact with our own genders more than each other; unless you feel a strong connection to the person. Let's face it, half the reason that talking with the other gender is fun is because of the implied playful tension that exists between men and women.
What are friends? People you feel a strong connection to, but don't sleep with. Why don't you sleep with your friends? Because even though you feel a strong chemistry and connection to them, you are either unwilling, or unable to sleep with them. We call that connection "attraction." Even if that attraction isn't physical, are you really going to tell me that the people you feel closer to, aren't just a little bit better looking to you? I mean why would you even want to surround yourself with ugly people? Better looking company makes it more likely to bring in an attractive prospective mate.
So we take a man and woman, who are of healthy breeding age, who feel good enough about each other that they want to associate with each other in a low stress way in public, and have good emotional chemistry, such that they want to spend time together at all... yeah... Nothing's gonna happen there...
So bisexuell people can never have friends then? I mean for me having friends means just talking to that person about some subjects I like and hamg out a little bit but not more. Not trusting just communicating
It sucks, because it's so much harder to make friends with the opposite gender. With girls I find interesting and fun I can sit next to them and start up a conversation, but with guys everyone will think i'm trying to flirt. :( there are so many funny guys at my school that i wanna talk to but i just don't know how
Just talk to them and don't give a damn about what other people will think.
All the time, I have a laugh with my friends in computer science- I'm not flirting we're just having fun, and doing the work- and if anyone thinks I'm flirting well, I'm sorry that their life is so uneventful that they have to analyse mine. ;)
Because they're the ones desperate for sex and because you told them no, their fantasy is ruined. They only sadly care about themselves. That's not a true friend and that is definitely not somebody who loves you or who you want to actually date or marry anyway. They want what they want and it's selfishness. Mature people talk it out and don't make a fuss over it. I had somebody who I thought I could be a friend with do that to me. But when he left, I sadly didn't miss him as much. If they can't respect you because you say no, don't be too sad when they leave. Because you dodged a bullet dating such a person. They'll hurt you in a relationship and now they hurt you as a friend.
Fail to see how having sexual desires is selfish. If a guy and girl are friends, and the guy cuts the friendship off because the girl isn't interested, why is that a bad thing? As long as he is civil about ending the friendship, I dont see why it's a bad thing.
It's bad because you're not entitled to sex, and we're not for that. She ruins good relationships in the mixed woman not trust a guy for anyting. Then when a woman don't want anything to do with men as a whole, you want to say what is wrong with women. That's how a lot of women grow bitterness towards men. And now why women like me are guarded. A lot don't have male friends or companions because of that. We're not for you to target. If other women wants to get used that's on them.
That's not a friend. That's a user. There's nothing civil about it because of that whole time all he cared about was getting into her pants. You don't have to just cut off the Friendship because we'll just remove you from our entire life. And if we have to remove other friends that are connected to you will do the same thing.
"It's bad because you're not entitled to sex, and we're not for that."
And you're not entitled to friendship.
"Then when a woman don't want anything to do with men as a whole, you want to say what is wrong with women. That's how a lot of women grow bitterness towards men. And now why women like me are guarded"
Most women in general are guarded towards men. It's not gonna change anytime soon.
"That's not a friend. That's a user. There's nothing civil about it because of that whole time all he cared about was getting into her pants."
No its not. Almost all relationships start out as friendships. Its not like a guy can just walk up to a random girl on the street and say "Yo sugar tits, lemme ping pong my ding dong all over those titties". As long as the guy is respectful about ending the friendship, he hasn't done anything wrong. You trying to bring 'entitlement' into this is projection on your own end seeing as you are feeling as if you are entitled to the man's time and attention and are upset when he's not giving it to you.
It'd be different if the guy got rejected then started yelling at the girl saying "Fuck you im a nice guy! how dare you reject me!" but that's not the type of situation I'm referring to.
It doesn't matter. Thats why once we find out we find out about it we drop you. We want a friend. If we're not compatible the your already wasting our time. That is wrong. We're aren't entitled to your attention. WE rather just not bother if that's how your going to think being sneaky.
Your not entitled to any woman either. Most of us women are sentsive and every woman wants attention as long as it's the right kind of attention. Not all of us are attention whores! What's wrong with having sonething innocent and not sexual? Nothing wrong with that. You think between yiur legs instead of genuine interest in our hearts. If we're not already showing potentionsl interest you already wanted your time. And then you want to know why we reject you. Because we at some point had a feeling it's not for friendship. It's setting boundaries. If we like to see more maybe in the future. If don't wait they don't complain when we do have somebody else worth waiting for. We don't have to chase after you. You don't tell us when to date. We date at our own time! Don't like it, there's the exit.
There is no difference between you men. They difference is the guys who lust after us freaks out after we say no. Which makes no sense. You wait until you have a chance with us through friendship pretending instead of telling us from day 1. Then when we say no, you don't show your anger, but you cursing our out in your heads. What do you think were stupid! I know your tactics man. I been ther, done that, don't want to go back. Now I tell any guy either we be friends or don't think about dating me. Thats all. If we're compatible and my god approve, then we'll talk further. Nothing else before then. Thats taking things seriously. Nobody is holding you hostage. you don't have to be there if you don't want to. I'm always fair and honest.
What I'm sick of is being my heart, love, time and care to people unselfishly who sadly chooses to be selfish. I will kick you out. I'm tired of being hurt. Thats taking advantage of us. Most of us understand how you men feel that is why we try being honest. But is seem out honesty is never enough for you. You need more even if it's at the cost of our unhappiness. Some friend you really are.
Because if you don't see him as a potential sexual partner, he sees you as one. It shouldn't be this way but it is 9999/10000 this way. A hetero guy and hetero girl being friends where one if not both would say no if given the green light is rarer than a unicorn. More often it's the guy who if given the go by the girl would have sexual relations but not by a big margin. Doesn't mean they're after their friend but the attraction is there and just takes one misread sign, or drunken admission to expose the asymmetrical feelings and ruin the friendship which was built on unstable foundations from the start
Only as silly as 'nice guys finish last' not being believed just as much... It's not as if the majority believes that and so it's written in stone, it's often just people referencing their idea of it or light-hearted belief, that may or may not be based on experience or likelihood.. They think as if it were just like a study or statistic, but a lot of people just try and ward the affect it could have on someone they care for that may get higher hopes than necessary, or do not heed fair warning from a good number of friends and family that all see it differently than the one in the dance. Pun intended.
It's not that I think they CAN'T but rather I think it is more difficult to be nothing more than friends.
When you are friends, you are close with each other, you share your honest opinions and with strong friendships you share secrets and entrust one another to risky situations.
So being close and friendly with the opposite gender both mentally and physically is much more likely to form a romantic interest.
Of course this is more likely to happen with friends who have started forming in their teens, friends who have been together from ages like 8 or 9 will typically only ever see one another as just friends and find it a odd suggestion to talk about relationships between the two.
It works with some, some relationships between guys and girls can stay as a friendship and even if they are close physically and mentally, there are times when this can be overcome and they can just enjoy one another's company.
Girls donāt understand this. Guys do. Guys will always at least be physically attracted maybe sexually attracted. Women donāt understand and wonāt except it because they arenāt men it is as simple as that. You just canāt comprehend it. Have you noticed you never here men say how they want just female friends itās cause we donāt. We donāt have enough in common with women to just want to be their friends. Maybe casual buddies is fine as long as we donāt get to close. But it is always women who complain about men always ruining it by catching feelings and just wanting a guy to friends with. Have you noticed that? because I have. It is just something you women wonāt understand because you arenāt guys
I mean I'm sure none of my guy friends faced any kind of attraction towards me- I mean come on, I just doubt that on so many levels- especially since a couple of them have girlfriends.
Well the ones with girlfriends are different but the ones without unless they find you repulsive are likely at least physical attracted or sexually attracted to you. But obviously they are not going to tell you or show you. You wouldnāt understand cause you are not a guy. You donāt know what guys feel or go through just like guys donāt understand what women feel. I would think a women would be more accepting of this concept. But it seems when it is not in their favor it is harder to grasp, interesting how that works donāt you think?
As soon as he does nt develop feelings, it is fine. Being sexually arttracted to someone and developing feelings is complete different thing. And you can be friends with women who are not attractive to you.
Having opposite gender friends is normal in my experience. I have had a few female friends over the years and only once did I discover that she had feelings for me. While friendship groups of just boys/girls is normal, I know of many opposite gender friendships around school and are completely platonic.
I wonder that as well, I have quite a few female friends, yet a lot of people have this attitude that any male/female pairing is going to automatically turn into a relationship at some point or that it is already that way.
It does not help that I tend to dote on my friends, both male and female, but when it happens to be with a female friend and other people see, they usually get the wrong idea... (them mistaking me going out to get coffee with a female friend as a date, etc.)
Well you know the saying, if you play with fire you'll burn yourself eventually. It's ok for guys and girls to be just friends, but you can never know what might happen as time goes on someone might catch feelings and he/she will be introduced to the famous friend zone.
Growing up, I had more guy friends than female ones. Two of my best friends to this day are guys. We used to do a lot of stuff together. We don't get together as much as we used to. Life and family take priority. But we don't have any romantic notions for each other.
So the other day there were two of my guy friends they could not believe that I did not find another friend attractive because every girl likes him ( blond blue eyes works out) I said I get along with him, ( he is funny) he IS good looking - but Iām not attracted to him - I donāt want to date him - sleep with him - and thatās ok - and itās not crazy - and no I donāt have a type - so that being said there goes more to liking someone- real chemistry and connection -
I have male friends I have never and never will have romantic feelings for, I'm sure we've all thought "what if?" but their a friend for a reason and that's as close as it will ever get. I don't friend guys I like in romantic terms, friends stay friends with me unless they cross a line
Ah, I tend to have no trouble being friends with women. My friends tried to set me up with someone but I just intentionally became friends with her lmao.
That said, I know many guys tend to at some point feel attracted to an extent. But in my experience, usually when this happens they can just move on from it, after which it is all fine
Hahaha It actually sucks, but is a neverending thing. I donāt get why they do not just accept I canāt be bothered atm. my friends have set themselves deadlines for like the last half year to get me a girlfriend. So far I have only become friends with girls they try to set me up with or I just ignore all their ideas
They set themselves deadlines, yeah. It does get pushed back all the time by my incredible talents. They actually got upset with me when I told a girl who wanted to dance with me I couldnāt be bothered (in a polite way) š
Hahaha they do the same with me. They do keep getting women in mind that are never my type, because they know nothing about it
I have a friend I've known since I was 9 years old. 10 years later we are still just friends. We're best friends actually... however I can see how this can be more difficult when you meet male friends at let's say... 20. It's a different ballgame then.
It depends on the people and the circumstances. I do have some female friends that I would never have a romantic relationship with. And some of my female friends, I feel could develop into a relationship, were I single. Which I'm not.
Excuse my French but people are assholes I have several straight girlfriends and I also have several Friends with Benefits girls that we don't we just hang out and you know sometimes we mess around can dogs are the best relationships I've had you know where you stand
Because a lot men find it hard to be just friends with women who they find to be sexually attractive. If his female friend is sexually attractive then he will have more feelings towards her than just platonic.
It depends on when you met. I am still friends with some of the girls i went to elementary school with. However if i was to meet a girl now, it couldn't be the same. If i i apapproaed her that's because 1 i am interested in her, or 2 because working together can be benefittial. If it was option 2, we could become friends only after 3-5 years of hanging out outside work. Which is highly unlikely as most adults already have friends to hang out with.
Hormones in the body of the opposite sex will not allow such friendship after a relationship because you matter how hard you try subconsciously you wonder why the relationship ended
Unless one of them is suffering from lesbianism or gayness there is very little chance to start the friendship
Not to mention both the sexes don't understand the other
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