Hello, y'all, I recently had an argument with my mother's boyfriend of 7 years said he would hit me if he felt I needed to be
disciplined. Now that wasn't his exact wording, but it's pretty damn close. Now I took issue with this because the topic before hand was discussing how there was a misunderstanding between my mother and me in which she threatened to hit me for something I later explained I didn't do. My mother and I talked it out like civilized people and acknowledge were the problem lay and straighten it out, and agreed that even if I had done something wrong, corporal punishment would NOT have been the way to go. Her boyfriend however, told me that she would have been well within her rights to "discipline her child" and that he would will do the same if he thought necessary. For obvious reasons I'm taken aback by this. At this time I can feel the anger boiling up inside my stomach, I take a breath and as calmer as possible explain, "No you will not put your hands on me or my siblings no matter how angry you are. It has been proven to have negative effects on both the children and parents, and sends a message of "listen to me because I am more powerful than you" rather than "listen to me because I want what's best for you and this will help you grow and learn and show you that you can't just solve your problems with violence". Another layer is that I will be 18, a legal adult, in less than 2 weeks, which both fortunately and unfortunately means claims that I make will be taken more seriously. Hitting another adult is assault, however if you are a child your complaints of abuse are taken less seriously (I know because of my physically and verbally father). As a person in general I have a right to say no and, I won't wait that 11 days to be 18 to have that right. Now with all of this said, how do I convey this message to him, mom's boyfriend, that he cannot put his hands on me or my younger siblings in a way that won't make someone unwilling to listen explode?
disciplined. Now that wasn't his exact wording, but it's pretty damn close. Now I took issue with this because the topic before hand was discussing how there was a misunderstanding between my mother and me in which she threatened to hit me for something I later explained I didn't do. My mother and I talked it out like civilized people and acknowledge were the problem lay and straighten it out, and agreed that even if I had done something wrong, corporal punishment would NOT have been the way to go. Her boyfriend however, told me that she would have been well within her rights to "discipline her child" and that he would will do the same if he thought necessary. For obvious reasons I'm taken aback by this. At this time I can feel the anger boiling up inside my stomach, I take a breath and as calmer as possible explain, "No you will not put your hands on me or my siblings no matter how angry you are. It has been proven to have negative effects on both the children and parents, and sends a message of "listen to me because I am more powerful than you" rather than "listen to me because I want what's best for you and this will help you grow and learn and show you that you can't just solve your problems with violence". Another layer is that I will be 18, a legal adult, in less than 2 weeks, which both fortunately and unfortunately means claims that I make will be taken more seriously. Hitting another adult is assault, however if you are a child your complaints of abuse are taken less seriously (I know because of my physically and verbally father). As a person in general I have a right to say no and, I won't wait that 11 days to be 18 to have that right. Now with all of this said, how do I convey this message to him, mom's boyfriend, that he cannot put his hands on me or my younger siblings in a way that won't make someone unwilling to listen explode?
Updates
+1 y
I had to take a lot of information out to fit the description word limit. Y'all should know that my mom's boyfriend is pretty young, like in his mid to late 20s and perhaps because of this is quite immature when faced with a problem. Whenever I bring it up (he can't hit us) I am yelled at and insulted, which I do my best to hold back and most of the time simply hang up the phone. I should also point out that my mom mostly just sits there and let everything happened with no attempt to bring peace
Updates
+1 y
My mother is upset because she suspected he was going to propose to her on their anniversary celebration, but we got into it before hand so she thinks he didn't propose because of that. Currently I am being pressured into forgiving him before I am ready and I hate my life.
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