Do you have the type parents who feel they can put their hands on you regardless of your age?

Question

I thought it was just a black thing but I now know friends of all ethnic backgrounds whose parents have the nerve as well. Even my friends from HS who range from 21-30 still have parents who will raise a hand to them, despite their grown age. I almost didn't buy my mom any gifts this Christmas. she's hardly one to lay hands but while shopping with her last week, she felt it was okay to do so. I bought my groceries as she said she’d pay for her personal nongrocery items separately. While at the cash register she kept calling my name asking for my card. I ignored her until she pestered me so. Then i finally responded “What? You said before we got up here that you’d pay for yours.” She was like “I don't know who she think she's what-ing right now?” Then she smacked me upside the back of the head in front of the whole store. It took everything in me not to swing back. But i spent the rest of the day cussing her out in my head 😂 She made it worse by constantly following me around for the next 5 mins, all on my shoulder like a bulldog saying “What you gonna do, you gonna hit me, huh huh?”. Then later that day proceeded to “Oooh i bet you’re texting all your friends talking bad about me because my ears are burning.” Then around the end of the day, she remembered I hadn't bought her Christmas gift yet and decided to give a half ass apology. Good Lord. Its really good i believe in respecting my mom cause the devil on my shoulder wanted me to smack that hoe down and give her coal for Christmas. #ToxicParents
#FeelFreeToList #MerryChristmas

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

From what I've heard, most women will smack their mom back so mom learns not to go there. As a man it's more complicated. If I did that I could go to jail so my only option was to tell her if she ever did it again that I wouldn't be in her life anymore. And she knew I was dead serious. I keep my promises. Some say that's over reacting but they didn't see where violence can lead to in their own lives. It's not worth it to me to get permanently maimed or killed because some fool can't control her temper and happens to have a knife/skillet in her hand at the time. And violent people usually escalate. It's not going to get better over time.

Women like your mom love to quote scripture that says 'honor your parents' but never have a word to say about the one that says not to prove your children to anger.

Being an adult means that they need to respect you as an adult. I mean if you actually are acting like an adult. If someone lives at home & acts like a kid they can't be surprised if their parents treat them like a child in some ways. So if you live at home get out of there.

AlexanderAnttila · Accepted Answer

My mother has never hit me in any way.

SjE78 · Answer

before my bitch of a mother died she was more of a manipulative bully, she is also the reason why i have back problems... my father had been since my grandad died in 1985 one who felt that any stress he had or just cos he felt like it, he could punch and beat me regardless... even after i became an adult they both (until the cow died) felt they had the right to do whatever they could, attempting to switch out the physical abuse (cos i learned how to defend myself and those i care about very well... that even the ex army father feared any attempt to attack me directly so he used others around me to destroy me that way... even trying to have me imprisoned for whatever they could get me on... which he found my weakness, i protect those i care about, so he made sure to go after people i know...
the one time he attempted to make a direct attack on me using a gang of about 15 people, i gave him my address, all were going to be armed... i had my bo staff... very adept with that and disarming and brutally tearing apart any attackers who came at me... they all bottled out and decided on a different approach, setting me up and attacking my son... while i didn't raise a hand to the person who tried attacking, cos it was a woman... i was still charged with ABH (Actual Bodily Harm) as they had gone away unharmed (despite hitting me instead of my kid) and 3 weeks later had some bullshit report that i had caused inner ear damage to her... funny how pointing at someone and telling them to back off caused inner ear damage... my guess they went away and caused the injury themselves post incident...

worldscolide · Answer

Its common.. I have ZERO tolerance for that kind of thing. There is a reason i have not seen my mother since i was 16, And that is part of it. She felt it was ok to put her hands on my any time she wished. She learned the stupidity of that when i was 11, I was sent to my room, i tried to close my door, but my window was open, and the whole negative pressure thing happened and the door closed a lot harder than i intended, my mom came into my room, and decided she needed to beat me, I was bleeding, seeing stars, eventually i got my feet under her, and kicked her off of me, She hit the wall, and sat down hard. I stood up, and when she got back up, she drew back to strike me, I was faster, I hit her as hard as i could, shattering her jaw and part of her cheek bone. I told her "This is the last time you will ever hit me, If you ever try again i won't hurt you, i will kill you, now get the fuck out of my room."

She never did hit me again. Instead i went to live with my grandfather for about 2 years, and then when she felt that was going too well, she accused my grandfather of being a child molester and i was moved to foster care because i refused to live with my mother.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

My dad has never gotten physical with me. He's a protector.

My mother never spanked me, but she did come at me a few times when I was 16-18. I "recorded" her having a narcissistic freakout (I didn't even record it, I just held my phone out as though I was), and she came at me so seriously I legitimately was ready to punch her down.

She knows I can fight, since my family did karate together for a while and dad and I still do, so she backed off once she got close enough.

But yeah.
Never in public though. My mother is too narcissistic to risk being seen as an abuser or a weakling in public.

lightbulb27 · Answer

oh my god... that's beyond awful... serious abuse. you have a sick parent there... emotionally and whatever in the relationship is messed up.

you could have handled that better in line, but you did NOT DESERVE THAT treatment.

please get trauma therapy and find good resources for support who are possitive. I wonder what disorder your mom has and I wonder what your spiritual gifts are. Reading that as phrased, I think you have a kind, empathetic heart. In that is amazing power. Your mom is very very hurt... and parents are not easy to manage.

You need good professional guidance to nativate to a better place. No way should parents be smacking kids at that age.

Jake1415 · Answer

Technically, my parents don't "put their ha d's on me" instead they used to spank my with a belt when I go-to to troy me and I never really day anything bad or offensive to them. In fact, I don't really make them feel like they should because I'm too "scared" orf my dad because of his voice and his "manliness" but, these never hit or smacked me like your mom did not do I think they would, I think they would ignore me until we got home, then tell at me and later we'd talk and make up because Its typically something g I did t know was wrong being me with my Autism... Anyways, I chose option B because we WOULD eventually talk it out after we ignore each other (mostly me ignore Ignoring them)...

Hope this answers your question!😁😎

Gedaria · Answer

It reminded me of when the future second wife went to meet my mother.
She had been there a couple of times and mother was well taken by her.
Kitchen is in the back we were sat in the front. So mother had this hostess trolley. Any way mother had put all the stuff in it an the girlfriend , was in there chatting , so wheeled the trolley in.
She was bent over pouring the tea mother came in. And out of nowhere she slapped girlfriend on the ass.
I just couldn't help it such a nice ass.
I was tempted to do it myself self , but ended up with the three of us having a good laugh
Later she said she might be an old lady but she knows how to smack..

iFarted · Answer

My dad was verbally and physically abusive until I was in middle school. I was an angry kid and he crossed the line that day. It was summer and when I went out to hang out he kept btching about me going out to much so I stayed home and played video games. He got tired of it and shut off my xbox, I said wth why? He then shoved me to the ground, kicked me then slammed the xbox to the ground. (I actually saved my lunch money to buy the xbox..) I saw red and took out a knife and held it to his throat but didn't do anything. I'll always remind that day, I'm not proud of it now but he's left me alone for the most part and learned that he can't just do whatever tf he wants just cause he's head of the household.

Finchie40 · Answer

When I was a kid my Dad was an abusive drunk he would hit my brothers and I just out of drunken rages , when I got older I didn’t back down , so yes he could raise his hand to me but he knows I am going to give it right back , the second I did he realized I could kick his ass and he never plaid a finger on me again

VanityFair748 · Answer

My boyfriend and I had to change all our plans, cause when I was 21, mom decided it would be okay to hit me when she when I would talk back to her. She hadn't hit me since 15, but suddenly she decided to renew that habit. I told my boyfriend about it and in three months after that we both found jobs and moved out.

19magic · Answer

Dad did when I was younger, but I was mainly a good child I think the last time I was 12/13 but by that point he reverted to taking my things off me if I was naughty and other than restricting the Internet when I was 15 when I got caught reading after bedtime I can't think of anything happening since then

cutiepiechub · Answer

Funny story. My mom was hospitalized because I cracked her skull and broke her nose because she smacked me upside the head and started cussing at me in the middle of a grocery store. I socked her right in the nose and she fell and busted her head. She's a bitch tho and she abused me growing up so we don't talk anymore. Also I have a lotta Irish In my blood so I tend to be a bit feisty at times.

Alpha09 · Answer

They did when I was almost 15, at least my mom. Now not so much now because she knows better. Honestly you couldn't catch me taking that bullshit now, if a bitch wants to throw hands she might end up regretting it. If you continue to let your mom do this she's not going to stop. So I would recommend next time she pulls that shit get up close and personal and tell her what's up.

Curious074 · Answer

My dad hasn't tried to support me since I was 15. He completely became a stranger. He wouldn't give me clothes on my back or shoes. It's all mum. Until I could find work which I have he ignored my every need. Then when I confronted him about it. He chucked a chair across the room and slapped me over the head. Cops had to be called. He calls me fat too and always compares me to my more intelligent cousins

alice55 · Answer

Yes, I do and it's extremely annoying, last years she keep hitting me for multiple minute and so hard she broke my teeth and didn't even give a shit about it, she was proud of it as she told so to all her' coworker and say that it's my fault that I should learn to shut my mouth cause I knew what was going to come if I didn't. Also she think she always right about it and if I have a problem with her hitting me when she want then I just should get out of her life...

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You left out an option for the older crowd. My father died 13 years ago. My mom is still alive but 89 years old and rather inform. However, when she was younger, she would have never done to me what your mother did to you.

WhiteGlaze · Answer

My moms only yelled at me at walmart before and people definitely noticed. I stormed off and I mean its never right to hit. Especially with what you're putting up with. The Bible talks directly to it that scolding happens from others. Embarrasment is most harmful even from that perspective

Trooper205 · Answer

Although my Family has that ability, we each are self-controlled. There hasn't been a flying fist in years. The respect in my family is very strong.

I've always thought this, but you gotta get out of that house. Your Mother is Toxic, and entitled.

Guy0nGaG · Answer

My mother is verbally abusive and in my childhood, she's sometimes got so pissed she strike me or hold me to the wall by my throat. She never did it again once I grew bigger and stronger than her when I was 13, but she still puts me down verbally from time to time.

Dnice1 · Answer

My parents are more vocal when it comes to anger. I've always been scared when they get mad at me. They only spanked me once or twice when I was a kid. They don't physical or mad at me these days and if they do get mad they just yell. If anything they just tease and embarrass me more than anything.

jgokgotit · Answer

My mom made the mistake of trying to lay hands on me when I was fresh from deployment and my nerves still shot. Didn't mean to swing on her. It was reflex from combat, but she has not attempted it since.

Do you have the type parents who feel they can put their hands on you regardless of your age?

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