Can a person who's raised poorly by their parents turn out better and kinder than them?

[Bubbles45]

[ohshee]

I think it's very very possible as matter fact I know it is you just did the right stuff right there by asking this question that means that you know something is wrong it pisses you off and depending on how pissed off you get about it how long you carry this feeling with you in like will determine what steps you would take when you have children and who you are in life yes remember this no matter who our parents are no matter how we were raised there comes a point in time where we have to make our other choices when we were born we are giving a gift the gift choice the most powerful words we will ever have his choice is more powerful than the word love every morning you wake up we get to make choices every day second of the day you get to choose who you want to be in life by the things that you say and do if you want to be like your parents then you're going to be like then if you want to not be like them and be better that's your choice you have to make it happen just like right now your parents make choices for you if they are wrong and if they are wrong on the way they go about doing are making their choices you can make another choice and either say something and be rude about it or you can take five hundred feet ahead of them at all times and let them see that the choices they're making for you are wrong I'm making them Sea by the choices they make their are wrong in their choice I used to get beat by a belt when I was a young kid and I mean beat I swear up and down that would never touch my kids if I had them well I had kids I never once raised my voice I never once put my hands on them I taught them with my words I got beat by belt when I lied about something and then one time something is going on at school and my mom said just tell them this and whenever this was it was a big lie and I just looked at her did I can't believe this I just got beat for lying and now you want me to tell my teacher what you just told me no thank you that's why I hate liars if I fuck up I fuck up I'm going to own it that's all there is to it because no matter what I do in life there's a reason behind it it's cause and effect something bit you need to understand what that means to cause and effect it's cool that you acknowledge that your parents are wrong but you also get to choose who you want to be just make the right choice

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

Of course. There are some that are installed and not emotionally or mentally strong enough to decide what is right and wrong. They just go with what they were taught.

I was raised in a house of racist people. My dad and evil stepmom tried to tell me that we don't mix colors. Yet my mom was Vietnamese and when my dad told me that he got a look from me. Like dad really? I stand before you as a mixed race and you are trying to tell me we don't mix colors? What they were really trying to say was that we don't date black people.

There are some great virtues that I got from my dad but there are some secrets that I learned about the family that dismissed his super hero status for me. I used to think that my dad was a great man. But, I have learned some truths that have changed how I view him now. But, he is gone now so it really doesn't matter.

I always told my dad that I wanted to be just like him and his reply each and every time was "No, be better than me." I think now I know what he meant. I don't have any of my parents bad ideals, I am my own person and I decided that I was going to raise my kids better than the way I was raised. I have instilled better views and ideals. I have a 100 times better connection with my kids than I had with my parents.

You can be set onto a path but you don't have to follow it. You are the only one that can decide your path and fate. Don't sit and wait for others to set your path for you. Take hold and create your own path

[Ayanna240]

yes. But in order for this to happen, this kid must've had a good early childhood. early childhood is where the brain's foundation is set for the rest of their lives. This is the most crucial stage of life for mental development / formation.

[alice55]

I don't know but in my experience they fake being nice and use their shitty childhood as a way to justify every shitty and toxic action they do. They're often very entitled.

[hahahmm]

Absolutely. Knew a guy who had two horrible parents -- and I rarely judge people like that but they were the worst of the worst. He had a bad period in his teens but grew up to do tons of volunteer work for needy kids and raising donations for charities.

[MrOracle]

Yes... but they have to be aware of the problem, they have to admit that they are and will be negatively impacted by the problem, and they have to work hard to change.

Most people can't get past the first step, much less all three, but some certainly do.

[Anonymous]

Yes i'm an example
My parents mostly my mom were abusive mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. My mom is a Narc so i've never had affection or a real relationship with her.

Now that i'm older i'm very loving and kind to everyone

[MrJMM]

Yep! My dad thought me that I have to assertive and commending to a woman because he said “Those bitches complain about everything like birth like bitch all you do bleed a little and walk around you do something so you need to assertive and tell them to stop telling you that shit that isn’t real.” “Hitting you will make you understand me because all you do is cry like a little gay feminine bitch” I don't think that at all. But yes a child can be better than their parents.

[XimenaV]

absolutely, they just need to recognize the toxic behaviors and be willing to put in the effort to be better people

[bethdane]

I definitely think so. They know what it's like to be hurt and to see other people hurt. Plus, most people are conscious of how they felt - and they don't want other people to feel that way. There are resources available to people who want to break the cycle, too.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Of course. You only have to look at murderers that were brought up well by their parents to see the reverse..

It is the nature versus nurture debate that goes back many years.

[Miah02]

Yes, they can see how horrible they were, and decide to never ever do to others what their parents did to them.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Yes I sure hope so! Cause im one of them no desire to be like my parents at all!!

[loveslongnails]

Yes it "can" happen, though it takes a lot of inner strength and recognition to overcome a bad upbringing.

[Mamaganja]

Yes. People like that do better IN SPITE of what they went through. Others, become their parents.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Part of who they are, they were born with. They may have strong influences aside from their parents, or have a moral stances about the way their parents have raised them.

[Anonymous]

depends - early childhood development is the most crucial (most parents get that part right)
but if they screw that up - nope

other stages have all kinds of environmental input and get complicated.

[Anonymous]

Yep. For sure. I know one and she is the best person I know. Horrible childhood. Shit father who beat her, mentally abused her and threw her out of the house for good at 14.

[collie22]

i would think a child would learn from there parents mistake

[Mrsao]

Oh most certainly i see this has happened in my life and others.

[DescendantofLilith]

Yes, if they make an effort to change

[Дерйа]

Sure. Everything is possible

[fatimah01]

Absolutely. Sorry of my life when growing up.

[andy530]

Yea it’s definitely possible