Christians, how is this a curse?

[Sweetener_]

My dad mistreats my mom a lot. Days ago my mom came down from my dad's car and went straight to her room and started crying and rolling on the floor because of him, I never saw my mom in this condition, and she told me that even when her parents died she didn't cry like that. My mom tolerated so much, so to see her in that condition broke me completely. The worst part is that he dropped her off and left.

But till this day my dad feels no remorse for his actions.

Yesterday we got into an argument and I said that God should forbid having a husband like him, and that if I had a husband like my dad I would file for divorce. This had my dad sad. And he told my mom that I didn't know that I placed a curse on myself. He told her that he doesn't feel appreciated.
But I don't see what's wrong with what I said.

So my mom took me to the side and said I should apologize to him for what I said. I tried apologizing to him but he turned it into an argument by talking bad about my mom. He didn't let me or my mom share our feelings, he even called me an idiot, which to me is nothing. I told my mom and little brother that if I act like an idiot they know the reason why. I feel like my life is not even mine, so he can place a curse on me and I couldn't care any less.

He thinks I'm a foolish girl who's blind and deaf and doesn't know the difference between right and wrong.

I tried to bring peace but he ruined it and brought conflict instead. All I'm feeling right now is hatred towards him and I want nothing to do with him.

All these made me scared of marriage. I don't see the importance of my virginity, first kiss and anything anymore. He ruined me and broke me into pieces. This could cause me to rebel against him, but at this point I don't care. I'm tired of always being miss goody two shoes and always having to submit to everything he has to say. He hates being confronted about anything so fuck him. I'm tired of praying for him. This has been going on for years.

Updates

+1 y

Now my mom told me that he's still my father and that I have to keep praying for him. I'm tired of praying, he broke me so much that I lost desire to do anything especially things that involve him. I'm tired of subduing my fellings, keeping quiet and respecting someone who doesn't deserve my respect all in the name of "culture".

Updates

+1 y

After reading my Bible I saw what the problem was. My mom has a problem with submission while my dad has a problem with anger, that's why there's conflict. Either way I'm tired of the both of them.

[Gravit1]

You are in pain right now, but pain does subside. Don't let your heart be calloused, please don't return father's evil with sin. Satan is like a hungry lion seeking whom he may devour. Satan doesn't try the hardest when your strong he comes down on you when you are weak. You dad has no authority to place a curse on you, he is not God. If he feels guilt for how he treats your mother that is his conviction. It is not always easy to serve Jesus, but we are blessed abundantly when we do. If this whole time you have been trying to please your earthly father that is what is damaging your relationship with God. We seek God first above all else. Are relationship with God is all the truly matters in this lifetime and is all that will last eternity.

Parents fail us, siblings fail us, and all that is natural will fail, but the things of God will last. There was a time I hated my brother, he was earnestly trying to get my parents to divorce, he was selling drugs, and he was mentally abusing our mother. I wanted to give up on him, I spited him every opportunity I had, and sabotaged all his efforts. I hoped for a while to never see him again. But I was convicted, God does not want us to hate anyone, even our enemies. God wanted me to show my brother love and continue to pray for my parents AND him. I pray for him till this day. He is no longer involved with criminals, but he isn't living for Jesus. He blames my parents for how his life is, but he neglects his own involvement and choices.

I pray you feel the fullness of Love from our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ. You must place your relationship with God above all else.

[Gravit1]

I will continue to pray for you.

[Sweetener_]

Thank you brother ❤

[Gravit1]

You are very welcome. We all go through rough patches, but God uses them in our lives like Job.

[TonyMetal___86]

Don't lose hope because of someone who is bad, not everyone are like that...

Your a precious girl and your virginity is important and your whole mindset is awesome so don't let someone like your dad makes you lose your priceless traits...

Your dad ain't a real man cause if he was one than he wouldn't have treated your mother like that cause we all know that after marriage god makes the man and woman as one, also they become a family which means hurting his wife is like hurting himself...

He have a nice loving family which any one prays to have while he have it but do not kniw it's worth until someday he lose them!

[ohshee]

It sounds like your dad needs to grow up first of all he's a control freak if you cannot sit there with his mouth closed and listen to his wife or his daughter Express their feelings on how he makes them feel when he does whatever and he is a control freak he doesn't want to hear it because then if he hears it he has to acknowledge it and if he is knowing is it you should have to think about it and then if he has to think about it then he has to do something about it the control freaks don't see it that way they think they're right but anything and everything they say and do you are not cursed you are telling the truth about something I would have said the same thing for how old you are and what you have seen and what you have been put through as a young adult or as a child would make me that way too check this out when I was married I was then divorced and my son as 7 years old got to witness what is Mother put me through on a daily basis even though we are divorced and I lived away from her he overheard the phone he overheard her talking to her friends about me she witnessed her taking money money money he witnessed her putting me in jail for something that I did not do now my son is grown man the girlfriend that he had wanted to get married and wanted to have a baby he said no babies she said either give me a baby and marry me for it's over my son's heart was broken when he said there was over I asked him why he did what he did and he said there's no way in this world that I would give her a baby and have her do exactly what my mom did to you his mother and her were good friends and they still are as far as I know but that's what kind of impact that trauma does to a child you have every right in the world to be pissed off at your deck and if he's not man enough to understand why you're pissed off they need there's something wrong with him I mean to even listen to you and acknowledge your words on how you feel with something so deeply hurtful to you that breaks my heart I hope one of these days that you can find the right words actually speak to your dad I don't know if he'll just put a ear plugs in and not hear one word you say but don't don't quit trying whatever you do just because he's a man doesn't mean that he's a man and just because he thinks something doesn't mean that he's right I'm sorry about you and your mom I hope you guys are okay

[ohshee]

Well you might want to sit down and have a talk with your mom same time explain to her how much you love her and how much you look up to her since you're a little kid she's been your your hero your guys and she really needs to stop and think about something it is her job to teach you not by words that with words doing my action strong as a mother she is how strong of a woman she is teacher to handle guys like your father you need to tell her mom you're not teaching me what to do if I'm in a situation like this it's wrong I'm not telling you what to do but it's wrong I want you to be stronger I really need to stop because I can't tell you what to do I think you get my point by message it's like anytime parents fight they're supposed to be teaching their children how to handle it what to do the right way not the wrong way you're being totally selfish by doing it their way an uncaring toward you and each other anyway I'm sorry that you have to go through this

[AlexanderAnttila]

No, you haven't brought a curse on yourself at all. If what you say is true and this man has abused his wife, he has violated Biblical marriage and it is he who has drawn a very harsh judgement over himself. The Bible does however say, that anyone who divorces for any other reason than sexual immorality, is an adulterer. So I'd recommend choosing your husband wisely and with God's guidance rather than choosing and then divorcing. And even though Scripture calls for us to honour father and mother and that cursing them is a grave spiritual offense, parents too have responsibility to be good and nurturing. The Bible says just as plainly that fathers are not to be harsh with children nor give them cause to be provoked. Don't hide your feelings Tega, pray to God for justice, he fights our battles. And if you feel like protesting the situation at home then do so, just take care not to let the tongue go too far.

[Sweetener_]

I want to clarify that he didn't abuse her physically, but he abused her verbally and mentally by making her question her worth and value comparing her to other women, not caring if she's sick, aggresively talking and shouting at her as if she's a child, making her feel worthless because she didn't bring money to the table, not letting her have a say in anything. Always getting into fights with her and never wanting to listen to her point of view, blaming her for family problems and so on. And when I confronted him about it he blamed my mom and said she taught me this, and told me to get out of his room plus called me an idiot.

My problem is not my husband. My dad made me scared of even getting a husband, what if I get married then after some years my husband changes to a complete different person?

My dad wasn't like this, but because of his business he started taking his anger on us and even to the point where he physically/mentally abused me.

That's why I said I didn't want a husband like him.

I'm tired of protesting, my dad is abusive, and he's not the type you would want to sit down and talk to because he believes he's always right. He's way or no way. He even shouts when someone confronts him, and after what happened yesterday I have no intention of talking to him at all.

[AlexanderAnttila]

I see. Irregardless, it is something that is clearly between you and the Lord. Advice from others won't do much good in the end.

[AlexanderAnttila]

@Sweetener_ You can see this as motivation to build a healthy and faithful Christian family of your own, one where you are submitted to a good man who controls his emotions. "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls."
-Proverbs 25:28

[Sweetener_]

I agree 👍🏽

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I'm not trying to past judgmental at all. I knew this woman and she was a sweet woman from Italy well she married this guy and he was also from Italy they were Italian
well it just so happened he treated her like shit also he would yank his boy from the toilet and beat his ass for no reason well they came to the USA and I believed she put up with a lot of stuff from him and her life came to peace when he died but I don't believe they divorced but there are certain males from different countries who like to be dominating that could the whole thing with your Dad. My own Dad took on his ways and personality from his Dad who was a full-blooded German but it hurts my own Dad was verbally abusive towards us and we had to put up with his hated ways and many people have asked me, why he was the way he appears to be, I just say well he's always been that way with us kids growing up.. I hope things with you get better and always stay close to Jesus he loves us:) (( Hugs ))

[Agape93]

Not a Christian but that’s not a curse, literal or metaphorical. He says that because he can’t accept that he’s an abusive mother fucking Bitch.


Go for the kind of man you want and you feel is worthy of your devotion and love.

[Dchrls78104]

Yes, it's a curse---his curse. If what you are saying is true, he has cursed his family by his reprehensible behaviour (Proverbs 11:17, 29; Ephesians 6:4; 1 Timothy 5:8).

[COMMODOREII]

Your father is the idiot. And no you are not cursed. You follow your heart and God not what your dad says or does. He himself is blind and he will continue to be blind till he seeks help for sins.

[DCooper]

Don't feel bad, all the fun girls start off by having daddy issues.

[2021biguy]

There are good people in the world, but it's not very easy to find. Your dad seems like a jerk but don't let him ruin your life, try to be yourself and don't give up.

[lonlynchi5]

Very well worded he should feel bad being your his child... how old are you mind I ask

[Celtero]

How has he mistreated your mom?