Why does my friend keep asking to hang out and then bails last minute?

[Walamagicc]

So my coworker (we’ll just call her A) who is also said to be my friend, she does this really weird thing where she would always invite me and my other friend (friend B) to hang out but what is weird is that she initiates plans ALL the time and then last minute, she’s with somewhere with her dad or she’s trying to go have sex with some random guy and she’ll ditch me and friend (B). I get that things come up but it’s a common cycle of her doing this and it’s really starting to piss me off and not be her friend at all anymore.

Another thing that makes this situation weirder is that she doesn’t even own a car! Not that having a car isn’t necessarily a bad thing but she makes plans and expects me or friend B to drive. by the way, if it matters, friend A is 18 and my and friend B are both 20. I just don’t know if I can handle the immaturity of an 18 year old. I also hate people wasting my time. The last time we all made a trip and both of them made some shitty excuses as to why they couldn’t go. I hung out with friend B once and then friend A completely ditches both of us because she “forgot” about her brother’s birthday party. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not but it just seems to me that Friend A, the one who doesn’t have a car likes to make plans and she expects one of us to drive her around and what pisses me off is she doesn’t offer gas unless I speak up.

Yesterday again, friend A asked in the group chat if we should all hang out and honestly, I’m not interested in hanging out with them anymore because I feel like my time isn’t valued.
I’ve began going out alone and honestly I feel quite fond of it. I’m just wondering if I’m doing the right thing by leaving them both alone?

[45Fstraight]

You are doing the right thing! Friend A is not a friend. I don't think it has add much to do with her ageas it does her personality. I've had "friends" my age initiate plans and forget, cancel, or run hours late. Once is certainly forgivable, but when there is a pattern you need to move on.

[Walamagicc]

Yes! She always says “oh I can’t because I forgot I had to do (*inserts excuses here) but she literally invited a dude she has never met in real life before to her house and first date. How do you make time for a guy you barely know but you cancel on your friends all the time? It’s annoying. And anyways, the girl doesn’t even have a car!

[Walamagicc]

And what makes it even more dumb is SHE is the one initiating events! You don’t know your schedule before you invite people to hang out?

[45Fstraight]

You shouldn't be her chauffeur. It's one thing to go out and have fun together, but it sounds like she's burdening you by monopolizing your time and money.

[Walamagicc]

What do you mean by monopolies?

[45Fstraight]

That's the crazy part! I've had that done to me and I'm 45! It feels like a monumental waste of time.

[Walamagicc]

You had a friend similar to this? Why are people like this? Stop fucking making plans if you are NOT going to follow through. She’s cancelled on me and my other friend like 3 times already! It’s annoying and childish asf! She needs to grow up because “I forgot this and this” is getting old very fast.

[45Fstraight]

Monopolizing your time and money means she is taking it all for herself without regard for you or anyone else.

[Walamagicc]

That’s fucked up. On top of that, you expect someone to chauffeur you around. What a waste of time.

[45Fstraight]

Have you talked to Friend B about it?

[Walamagicc]

Yes I’ve elaborated my frustrations but I don’t really think much will change. I’m kind of considering just ghosting both of them and moving on with my life.

[45Fstraight]

Maybe there is a middle option. Try not to give your time so freely the next couple of invites you get from Friend A.

[Walamagicc]

I think that’ll work. She invited us both out yesterday. I still have not replied back to her message and I am not. She needs to learn to stop fucking off everyone else’s time.

[45Fstraight]

I would just say, "Sorry. I already have plans."

[Walamagicc]

Okay it’s done 😂😂I hope that she feels bad because the other girl bailed on her too

[45Fstraight]

Maybe she'll realize you have other things to do besides wait for her. She might appreciate your time more.

[Walamagicc]

Thank you so much for the advice. You’re the best

[45Fstraight]

I hope it works out.

[Walamagicc]

Her response was “y’all suck.”

[Gwenhwyfar]

That’s really annoying

[Walamagicc]

Extremely. I made up a lie and told her I had plans already. I’m not about to wait around for her or be a second option

[Gwenhwyfar]

Good!

[Feelicks]

Sometimes people flake when they're depressed. Sometimes people are just assholes. You should inquire as to which one you're dealing with.

[Walamagicc]

I’m at the point where I really just don’t know. It’s just confusing. She brang a random dude to her house to “hang out.” Yet she always bails on me and my other friend. I don’t like that at all. And she doesn’t even have a vehicle to make so many “plans” anyways.

[Walamagicc]

I’m just trying to decipher if a friendship with her is even worth it at this point.