How do you avoid toxic people? ?

[Anonymous]

I had a co worker that got fired and I kept being kind to him.

he is a 35+years old nerdy guy sometimes tell weird jokes and was into political things, a bit extreme too...

I started feeling weird because he kept asking me do I have boyfriend so I ignored his messages on purpose and yesterday I told him I have a boyfriend just to make him stop thinking there was an opportunity.

Then he called me slut , ‘pretend good girl’ and started scolding me , criticized my work and said he should have told my boss to fire me 😑when he was the one who got fired. (The most important is I haven’t done anything to confuse him. When he was flirty to female co workers I just ignore or be like I don’t understand at all. )

I regret being friend with people like that.
I even think I should have avoid these type of people from the very beginning. ☹️☹️☹️ Those time I just thought acting friendly to everyone is a way to avoid office drama..

Do anyone had similar experience? How do u avoid toxic people without being scolded behind?

Updates

+1 y

The worst thing is there’s two guys in my company like making flirty jokes. One is my manager, the other one is that guy. That guy is the worst. He’ve been calling me sweetie / asking horny questions and expecting answers. (Those questions are really gross)
I really don’t understand why such people exist:(

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Congratulations, you've encountered a Nice Guy.

Step one: when you ID a Nice Guy (often an outspoken male with weird tendencies, poor volume control, and a severe lack of touch with reality), STOP BEING NICE.

Nice Guys think that a woman being nice to them means that she wants to fuck them.

There is no logic or reason.

Step Two: If the Nice Guy persists, REPORT HIM TO HR.

Seriously, you're not the only woman he's done this to. I've literally been blocked into the coffee room by a weird Nice Guy at my previous tech job. He later stalked one of my team members to the point that we had to get HR and the VP of the company involved.

You stepping up will protect not just you, but the other women around you.

Step Three: GET AWAY FROM THE NICE GUY.

There is no helping Nice Guys. There is no middle ground, no safe space, and again, no logic or reason. These kids have been... I don't know... Brainwashed? Forcibly removed from reality? They spend too much time online and not enough reading actual books like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" (quick summary: be nice, be respectful, apologize if you're wrong).

Just stonewall, tell him plainly you don't like him and don't want him around you, escalate to whoever you need to to protect your job and yourself, and straight up be mean.

Your niceness is not for everyone. Everyone deserves a chance to experience it, sure, but once a Nice Guy comes along, you shut that shit down.

Now that you know what the vibe is for his type, just legit avoid like the plague people who give you that same vibe.

Trust your gut. You got this.

[Asker]

Totally agree. 👍🏻
Kindness is just for people who know what respect is.
I guess he will get what he deserves in the future even he missed it this time.

[qwert1234]

You block and ignore.
If you are co-workers, if the person keeps doing this, it's merit for harassment.
Same if you are in school.

Also, make sure you tell this to people you trust, like parents, family, SO, close friends and so on. It's an additional security on your end.

[Asker]

Lol. Thanks. I think he just like insulting people verbally. Won’t take it in action.
I actually have a female co worker been mean to him. I feel like I should do the same next time so they won’t even have chance to talk to me. 🤣

[Feelicks]

Block him, he sounds crazed.

[JustinTimberlegs]

Ugh I'm sorry you have to deal with guys like that

[The-Wise-Phoenix]

Two words

Restraining order.