I am obviously not talking about the good fathers that are trying their best and etc, I’m referring to lazy, absent, and or neglectful/abusive fathers.
These are the majority of fathers, statistically and from what I’ve seen just in real life.
They’ll cheat, sleep with god knows how many women, than come back to the baby mama once they’re broke. The majority of mothers at the very least stay with their child. The same can’t even be said for men.
That’s exactly why I’m happy abortions exist, why the hell would someone bring a child in this world if they don’t have the means to provide for it and the person that got em pregnant doesn’t give a flying fuck.
It's strange how a child a teenager can see things that adults cannot see or maybe don't want to see I agree with you I don't like men that are that way. My parents were divorced when I was one my mom got remarried but I was 2. I believe in till I was five years old that my step dad was my dad. At five years old my cousin told me that he was not my dad I had to confront my parents and found out that it was true. From 5 to 10 years old if I did something wrong I got beat by a belt black and blue I never understood why a man. That was six four 200 and something pounds would beat a small kid with a belt teach them something is bullshit when I had my son I promised myself I would not lay one finger on him I would never raise my voice and I did just that. If he was to do something wrong or do something that music wasn't supposed to be doing all I would have to do,,, was to say psst and my finger , moving in a come here motion LOL I would explain why I couldn't do what he was doing ask him if he understood and then I say OK go have fun respect other people's property. I believe a child is the most important part of the journey that we are on living life on this planet we are to teach them we are to help them become the best that they can become and that is by being involved that is by communication not by disciplining them or restricting them they are a blank sheet of paper and they want to learn they want to grow they're going to want to explore experience they need to understand and they have to feel or do something wrong sometimes to get that understanding. And they teach us that when the first day that they want to start walking they want to do it they need to understand it they want to become that person they stand up they fall down they stand up they fall down they stand up walk fall down it's the same thing in life they're going to explore they're going to learn by falling down and getting back up it's how they get back up is what makes them bigger and better as a parent you don't take that away from them don't restrict him from it and you don't discipline them for it. And as for what you're talkin about not being in each other's life. Or making it all about them by taking it out on you is just fucking wrong the only thing I can say to you is that you keep your head up you are a good person you're deep thinker just because of what you've been through and what you feel in everyday life don't let it change you to the negative keep the positive keep on the same track that you are on right now even though sometimes it's painful and you don't understand it somewhere down the road it will all click in I would love to tell you right now but I'm not going to but it would be a good thing even though it's bad right now so keep smiling keep being you and keep going forward
I can feel your anger I can feel your pain I also can read your words and see where your head is at and how smart you are and I don't ever want you to be so down on yourself you think that's the direction you have to go in your life because it's not I don't think any kid should have to go through what what you're going but there's nothing I can do about it only you can you have to make the choice of saying this is who I choose to be and there will be come a time in your life to where you can show that parent how love and how to treat your children when you have yours you can do just that
. I left my house when I was 16 so I had to learn the hard way on everything but I did learn it and I am becoming who I wanted to be if somebody asked me do I regret I would I change anything it happened to me growing up I would say absolutely not it was all for a reason because it taught me so much about life. And I hope you can get that same outcome I hope you can only find the positive and forget about the negative got to let it go there's so many people in this world did this is happened to have a 12 on it each and every single day and if they let it eat at them each and every day but it changes who they are who they are to become it's a waste of time to feel sorry for yourself aren't you feel bad it is what it is you have to accept that you can't blame anybody the only thing you can do is change it when you get to be that age I couldn't wait to do that
Ï I just got done reading a lot of people's answers to you it's too bad it didn't hear one word you said it's too bad that they want to make something that is something you already know had already deal with it's too bad they just didn't hear or read your words there's nothing negative in there you're not calling anybody out the only thing you're asking for is a Father's Love that's it it's sad that people can't read that
Wow, how can all these father's be trash? When I see these comments, it's indictive of a local perspective.
I would say it's half and half. You have some real good father's. You also have some real bad fathers, but most fathers fall into the average range.
Now if you're looking at age demographic, yes, young men are generally not prepared to be father's. Many now raised by single mothers. This either creates a man-child who is not ready, or a father who didn't get the chance to see what a real father was. Didn't get to model them. This is why many single moms throw their kids into after school programs like scouts and football, to give them that experience, albeit short and measured.
I think the largest challenge to child upbringing is the disposable relationships that include fickle marriages that end more often than not in divorce, and most tend to be sought after by unfulfilled wives who often by their friend's direction as back seat drivers to get a fresh start. This has been going on for more than 50 years now, and the carnage of divorce and all the drama, family alienation, and violence is breathtaking if you look at all the consequences that we find ourselves now dealing with. And there are a lot of crappy people. Men and women.
Now we have hordes of young people that don't even want kids, sold on the idea that they do not really bring happiness to your life, but do being risks and financial loss. As a group of people, we are all giving up. Now blaming climate change and strife as a reason not to bring kids into this world, and if you look at it closely, most people attribute every thing they can to show how parenting is so bad, or a bad experience.
When in reality, everyone expects a great and positive outcome. Like being alive is a reason to give them a participation award. Like equality of outcomes is a thing.
What we are missing is the will to go on as a society, and everyone is too selfish to move forward as a family and society. As more breaks down, our world will eventually crumble. And your perspective is just why are most fathers trash? Well, you're experiencing the end of this reality, and the strong will carry on. That be the good fathers and mothers. The ones who are not so rolled up into all these "Modern" issues and want to see their ancestors to the future.
"These are the majority of fathers, statistically"
Show us your statistics.
Maybe they are the majority of fathers in your family/social class/country/ethnicity/race/etc. Numbers are usually not the same across countries and cultures and social classes.
I never heard the "majority of fathers" in Sweden or Germany or Israel are lazy, abusive, cheating, and neglect their children.
"The majority of mothers at the very least stay with their child"
They do. But merely staying with the child does not mean "not being neglectful". I know people who had both parents and were neglected all through their childhood and teenage years, completely. They grew up to have little to no social skills despite having both parents. Neglect can happen whether or not parents are present.
For me, my mother died when I was still 9, turning 10. I grew up with my single father and I am doing well. My husband also lost his mother when he was 12. From "what I’ve seen in real life" and especially in my family, fathers have been very good, even when they were single/widower.
Speaking of statistics, almost all statiatics I've seen show there is a link between children raised by single mothers and children raised in poverty. The rate of neglect and physical abuse is also higher when a child grows up with a single mother, which isn't surprising knowing many single mothers financianlly struggle. Since the biological father is absent and in some cases does not even have the right to see the child, it is fair to say most of the different types of abuse including neglect come from mothers themselves and their cohabiting partners.
Also, the lead cause of divorce and by extension, single motherhood, is not domestic violence; father being abusive. Many children lose their fathers simply because their parents lose interest in their relationship and can't live with each other, and in many cases the mother initiates the separation. It's unfortunate, but the mother is as much at fault as the father, for the child's fatherlessness.
I also never heard, at least in Germany and Sweden and between my own ethnicity, that rape pregnancies or stealthing for the sake of having babies are very common. They are not. That means when there is a child and an absent and abusive father, there is also a woman who chose that man as a partner and either wanted a child with him or failed to use protection. In such cases, which are in fact common, the mother is equally at fault for the fatherlessness and neglect of the child because it was mainly her choice, to open her legs.
Overall, I think this post was very loaded. A rant is okay. You're trying to generalize, curse, attack, and your use of the terms "statistically" and "majority" is grossly misleading.
It’s not misleading, literally look at domestic abuse/violence against women it went up during covid and you can look at the statistics of how most children in America now are being raised without a father.
I don’t know about Europe because I’m not European, I’m speaking about America only
And as the horseshit is yours, it is also on you to provide me with statistics and data that 100% prove "the majority of fathers", regardless of social class, ethnicity, race, etc. are "lazy, cheating, absent, and abusive" in America or wherever else. I'm not going waste my time finding evidence for your nonsense.
Lmao. Nah. I provide evidence for what I say you provide for yours. That's common courtesy in any argument. And again, evidence that prove every single one of your points. Otherwise just don't bother.
I literally wasn’t making an argument, I said my opinion and asked a question. I honestly don’t care of the way I phrased the questions hurts your feelings
Some fathers are amazing, but others not so much. My dad is lazy and he’s scary. He’s always serious and shows no emotion and when he does he acts like a child. I try not to hate him because he had an incredibly terrible childhood, his parents showed him absolutely no emotion and he was never taught to show it. My mom talks trash about him sometimes, and that kinda poisons my mindset. But other than that he’s a good dad.
you can do is try to move on my mom used to talk shit about my father as the years rolled on by I found out what he how to deal with in a struggle through I am not justifying his behavior but I'm not surprised father became a drug addict
Because they´ve never been told or taught how to be fathers. They can´t handle responsibility because there are no real role models what it means to be a man if your father is working all day long when he comes home he´s interested in the ball game, the news on television and the keeps talking about how he had to work himself up to come into the position he´s in now. Studies have shown that women have a deep connection to the child, probably it´s coming out of them that guys only have if they work to get it. I don´t know if the majority of fathers is abusive because mine isn´t. He´s just not a role model to me because he comes from a different time and age and is more than twice my age. The problem is that guys learn from seeing what an older man does but we´re educated and taught mostly by women. When I was in school in the primary school I never had a male teacher. It took until middle school that I got my first male teacher. The same at home, my mom taught us manners and how to behave. Because my father is way older he´s not a role model to me in many aspects of life. I know many guys that feel the same, we go out partying because that´s what our role models on Youtube and social media do. Guys feel good the first time drunk because that´s seen as manly in some areas. The main reason why I think many guys are either lazy or abusive is because they´ve lost a focus for their goals in life. They just wander about.
My father was and still is a piece of shit. I don't say this because my mother told me. She never once trashed talked him and always said "He is your father". But he proved himself human trash over and over. Even a couple of years ago when I decided to give him another chance he was still the same. You have no idea the stories I can tell you about him! I don't know what the deal is with bad father's. But after I had mine one of my biggest dreams is to be a father. And you can bet I will be an amazing one!
I can't speak to or for other communities. But in the African-American community, the issue with masculinity has been getting women pregnant represented masculinity. Not really being a man. I felt so much pressure to have sex in high school. Because the more girls you had sex with, the more masculine you were supposed to be.
Bad choices of mates by the mother. If they couldn't breed they wouldn't be bad fathers. Just trash men. And I don't think there is that many of them. At least not in my generation. I suspect that today's generation is going to be more a lack of fathers. Rather then them being bad.
Not if the mother is a piece of shit. He is better of on his own. A kid growing up on a battle ground is worse of then one growing up with a less capable single parent.
Yeah and the next thing he will be guilty for kidnapping. He isn't allowed to take a kid not even his own. From the mother without a court case. But he can leave without one.
You’ve definitely never been to family court before, dude.. my father literally kidnapped me once when I was a baby and nothing happened to him. The court did jack shit, they don’t care and give parents the benefit of the doubt.
Well laws are different in countries. And of course I haven't been in one since I don't have a family. I have been in other courts. And I know I would be toast if I did that without immediatly start a case for the full custody rights. And to remove that from the mother I need a stronger case then that she treats me badly. I need to prove she treats the kid badly. And I can't move far from where the mother lives as long as we share custody.
Killing an innocent life doesn't solve anything. Really, it prevents a solution, because you never know who that baby will become.
By destroying fathers, you are destroying families. When you destroy families, you can conquer those people.
For instance, a woman gets more welfare if she's single than if she's married. So, there's no incentive to be married. Feminists hate on men all of the time, saying that men & women should be equal, when we're truly complementary. "I don't need no man" is about the stupidest phrase ever. Look at how the Democrats have whole populations subservient to them, because of making them dependent on welfare-type programs. Destroy the father. Destroy the family. Destroy the people.
Look at the differences for families who have strong fathers.
Because they don't care or they don't know how to be a good father because no father figure was in their life to show them what a good dad is suppose to be. I feel like women are to blame for that. They pick and choose who to have sex with, men just wait till you say yes or no and of course theirs the awful ones who don't care and simply take ya. Also your the only ones who can get pregnant so in short whatever guy you have sex with and you get pregnant and he leaves because you didn't pick the right guy, well thats yo fault. Am I saying that the guy isn't at fault? Nope he's at fault to for leaving and he's also at fault for trying to have sex when he don't have his shit together. So its both y'all fault buts more so women because you can get pregnant and he can't.
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Well well well welcome to the academic world where you put forth an idea and they pick your little ass to pieces. Congratulations you popped your cherry Bravo. Welcome to the Jungle Kid! Excuse me darling it's feeding time at the zoo and I don't want to lose my spot grrrrrrr. It's a lot of complexity for this issue basically fatherhood has been locked out of society and then you'll have the majority of animals that there is no such thing as fatherhood we apparently seem to be follow right along that narrative.
Because before they lay down with women they don't have to make any real investment. They got to take you out to dinner to lay up with you. They don't have to marry at all they don't have to do no legal documentation they don't even have to say they're committed to you. So why would they be dedicated father's it? Because empowerment and sexual freedom.
Even when it is taken seriously it doesn’t guarantee good marriage, some will just marry because of family or societal pressure and it turns out their partners is not who they thought they were
They are not. Statistically fathers are not trash, mothers are (they steal children away from the father then blame him for not being their). Women just really hate being accountable for their actions. As for your own experiences, if your talking about the black community well they have an astronomicaly higher rate of fatherlessness and infidelity so don't presume that this is applicable to every one else.
Give me one example where you’ve seen a mother “steal” her children away from the father? The only way that could happen would be if she puts a restraining order on him, family court wouldn’t allow it. In fact, they’re very lax on fathers.
They give the father and mother shared custody over the kids most of the time since most want to give fathers the benefit of the doubt
Our society doesn't ever build men up and teach them how to take responsibility. You wouldn't believe how many homes are broken, not because the father didn't want to try, but because the mother didn't want the father around. Feminism has done an unbelievable amount of damage to the family.
I’ve never seen that happen in the way you’re describing it. Most mothers will take the father out if he’s abusive, harmful, etc. and they rightfully should do so cause he’s a threat to the child and her.
Sometimes the men are abusive, yes, absolutely. You also here a lot about how women in truly abusive relationships are too scared to make a move and feel trapped. So who tells the kids why they don't have both their parents? How does that come to happen? If the woman took the kids and left her husband, don't you think it would be easier for her to paint her ex as abusive, regardless of whether she was? It stops people around her from asking uncomfortable questions. It's a quick and easy way to make sure her kids never want to see their father.
That isn’t how it works, you’re forced to see your father by the family court. He’s technically supposed to be seeing you on holidays, every other weekend, stuff like that.
There are many laws in place that make it difficult for fathers and mothers to completely remove their kids from the other parents lives.
Also looking at psychology, the majority of kids will blame the parent they’re staying with (father/mother) on the absence of the other parent since it’s completely natural for a kid to have love for their mother so they’ll naturally get angry and they need to choose someone to let that anger and frustration out on so they’ll let it out on the parent they see the most.
Think of it as an abusive relationship, you’re so in love that you can never see anything wrong in said parent.
Everything you are saying makes logical sense. I'm telling you what actually happens in the real world. Case and point; look up something called "parental alienation."
Parental alienation is something that a lot of women do to punish fathers after they break up. It's an extremely common practice. So the woman is trying to make sure the kids don't like/want to see their father, and the community of people around the single mother will be more supportive if they think she is escaping an abusive situation.
That’s still not how it works. Family court wouldn’t allow you to be away from children and I literally couldn’t find any statistics even talking about that by gender
I am telling you my LIVED EXPERIENCE as a man who has seen this exact scenario happen hundreds, if not thousands of times. Respectfully, as a 15 year old girl, you simply haven’t lived enough life yet.
There are different reasons why a father might be bad to his kid, two that come to mind to me are corrupting influences in his life, or greed or fear over poverty issues.
I get the feeling that you are referring to your father or a close friend’s father. Not all guys are like that. Just watch a paternity court show. Some women have now idea which one of a dozen guys that she spread her legs for near time of conception is the father of her child! Granted. If you are going to make a baby. Then you need to be prepared to nurture, support, educate, and be ready to financially support the child without going on welfare.
Exactly. It’s a controversial opinion but if you’re broke and literally can’t afford to clothe or feed your baby than don’t have a kid. Get birth control, etc.
Because it’s cruel to make a child suffer like that, when you know you can’t provide for them.
Your premise is based off of nothing. I think you are just talking out of your ass. Spouting your misguided personal views and acting as if they are facts.
People have the capability to be great decent human beings without a great father though, so I don’t get the concept of you saying “I’m glad abortions exist “ abortions and bad fathers don’t connect
Yes because if you’re a mom and don’t want to have a kid because your not going to have any support, money, etc to provide for the kid than you shouldn’t have the kid for your own sake and for the kids futures sake
It takes two darling. First you mentioned woman, then you mentioned men. You are changing agendas. You shouldn’t have sex if you aren’t willing to raise a kid
I’m not even talking about that. I said if you don’t have the resources to raise a kid than you shouldn’t have one and it’s not like just because you have sex you’re pregnant. There are many reasons for unwanted pregnancy so the women can choose what they feel comfortable doing and what they feel is best for their future
The entire world is filled with people that have kids with no resources and their kids end up successful. It really depends on the situation. Abortion really isn’t the answer for that.
If you can't feed a kid or give housing, the basics for a human life than you shouldn’t have a kid. It’s not a question about weather or not the kids going to end up successful. It’s a question of weather or not someone can provide for this kid so they can have everything necessary to survive.
Like I said people all over the world are having kids without those. It’s not what you should or shouldn’t do. It’s what you should be doing after a baby is born. Maybe putting the baby up for adoption, or even finding resources for the baby
Women are the gatekeepers to sex. Men wait around for women to open the gate. She chooses. I mean, am I wrong about this?
Now then ladies, no one is gonna care about your body more than you. Women physically have more skin in the pregnancy game since they carry the child, so wouldn't it be not only a logical idea, but a wise one as well for women to be extra careful about pregnancy precautions?
Let's take good 'ol one-night stands. Shouldn't the woman make double sure he's using contraception (honestly, it's not just about pregnancy. Doesn't anyone, man or woman, worry about STDs anymore?) since her body is more at risk? Why would you take someone else's word for it, especially someone who, considering the situation, may well be a complete stranger to you. I mean, checking to see if he's wrapped is a pretty simple endeavor last I checked. Now then, should he be enough of an idiot to oppose contraception because 'it doesn't feel natural' or whatever... ladies, close that gate. That's your responsibility. What I'm saying is ultimately, in normal circumstances such as these as well as in relationships, whether a dude gets laid or not is in the hands of women.
That being said, if a stranger holds a gate open that you're looking to pass through, what do you do? Simple. Say thank you and go through. Whether you look back or not is up to you. Hell, the 'thank you' is even optional. But in this case, the girl could find out weeks or months later that she's pregnant, and the question of the day is 'by whom'. A guy she met once at some bar who said his name was Joe or something just as common. No one offers last names in these situations unless it's specifically asked about or comes up somehow during what little conversation the two of you had? Will she even remember what it is if it did? Who was drunk off their rocker? Probably both were. If they went back to her place or to a hotel, she has no idea where this cat's from, where he lives, or if he's even still alive. Probably didn't leave a phone number either. In the end, he winds up being a stranger to everyone who saw him with you.
Now I ask you... is there any obligation for those going through the gate to care about the gatekeeper afterward? Not even the nicest of people can be expected to check every time. And how often do we meet the nicest people?
In the same scenario, a guy taking a girl's word that she's on the pill or whatever, especially in a one-night stand situation, should really send up a red flag that says to the girl that this guy's not the funniest clown in the circus, if you know what I mean. Then again, neither is she if she's unworried about potential STDs he may be carrying.
Established relationships are a different beast altogether and isn't a part of the conversation I can tackle at this very moment (it's 3:30am). Then as far as mothers having more skin in pregnancy and the topic of abortion/'my body, my choice'... that's another headache all on its own.
That, I believe as it's blatantly obvious that your father didn't raise you right and allowed you to go to a communist concentration camp disguised as a school for your education.
Mine had a history of abuse and neglect and threats and violence, so he repeated it on me. I live alone and make my own money. I don't speak to him. I won't become him. I will get a vasectomy and end this vicious cycle on my part.
It’s not a stereotype, literally no one ever talks about this and that’s why I brang it up. If you’re so offended it’s probably cause you’re a horrible father that sleeps around with anything that breaths or you’re friends with someone like that
Than if my claims bullshit why are so many kids in America living with no father? You see so many single mothers and rarely ever any single fathers taking care of their kids.
And yet you can't actually verify that basic claim about "most fathers". Even the Bureau of Statistics figure you linked to in another comment (about 1 in 4 kids not having fathers in the primary home) doesn't make any kind of claim of "most fathers being neglectful and abusive". The premise of your question is based on your own personal conjecture, but when challenged on that premise, you won't actually attempt to verify it. Because you can't. Anyways, the problem as I see it is that modern relationships are failing in greater rates across the board, and the children lose in divorce/separation. So maybe figure out why relationships are failing and people aren't "putting the children first", then maybe we can have a conversation that's not grounded in your own personal blanket ambivalence towards fathers.
Who initiates between 70-80% of divorces in America? Women. That's who is creating the single mother household. In fact, with no fault divorce, a woman can cheat on her husband, divorce him and still be awarded alimony and half his shit (men pay 80% of the alimony in the country).
i would be an amazing dad, I would make me kids eat healthy and be fit but other then that, H ell they can do whateverthey want and i would buy them what ever they want.
That's my point. For a century there's been a growing issue. WW1 took a generation. WW2 took the next, then Korea, Vietnam, and a hundred smaller conflicts after that. I was lucky enough to have a father and two grandfathers growing up. Many weren't.
Men were lied to when they were told they were not needed to raise strong boys. So they left and now the next generation reaps that harvest. Boys who don't know what it is to be a Man: Husband, Father.
Girls grow up learning that men leave so they stop engaging.
I love John Eldredge's book "Wild at Heart" and its follow up "Way of the Wild Heart" or "Fathered by God". Great examples of what it is to be a Man
That never happens. She tells me the truth, when I was younger I was naive to understand and I looked up and loved my dad but now that I’m older realize how horrible he is from my own experience of how he’s treated me the few times I’ve stayed with him (even though by the law he’s technically supposed to stay with me on holidays and etc; he also avoids paying child support)
This is many fathers in America now a days, there are some mothers like this but statistically not as many as the fathers that will leave their child
You say your mom told you,. nobody can tell you another persons true life and yeah he might be a weirdo for his actions now but sometimes ti understand the other parent you should know their side of the story maybe it didn't alwaysnstsrt out the way you think it did but now it is what it is and he is the way he is now which is what you see as bad.
I'm not saying that. It's 50/50. Both men and women make shitty choices in dating and ironically women never want to be held accountable for their own actions
^^^^^^^^ we talked about this about behaving in an non- academic matter going around calling people crazy also makes you look crazy listen don't look crazy get yourself cable TV today okay. (Snickering) sorry kid I couldn't resist I did my very best to be professional.
This has nothing to do about feminism. I’m talking about fathers, not all men. If you aren’t a man that has a child than I’m not talking about you at all?
And I specifically said abusive and absent fathers
They don't know how to treat women or baby girl right in most scenarios. They don't know how to empathize. Most of them are Mr. Fix it. That hat is super glued to there head they don't know hiw they can take it off and replace it time to time with more productive hats.
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