Are you cool with your kid calling their step-parent (that the other parent married) mommy/daddy?

[DizzyDesii]

If you dont have kids, just hypothetically answer as if you do. Or feel free to share
your experience with a stepparent. My mom always told me “GIRL, YOU ONLY GOT ONE MAMA! AND THATS ME!!” 🤣 Trust, one mom was enough. I’d neeeever call a step anything a step anything. If you are not my blood parent then you are just “Mr/Mrs (insert your name here).” Shit, I dont even call my own sperm donor “dad/father”. Fck i look like calling the next ninja that. Boyyy you just a replacement. Nothing more
#FeelFreeToList

Updates

+1 y

by the way, this is in a shared custody case. You and your ex spouse are coparenting. The ex spouse has remarried and their kid is calling the stepparent mom/dad even though you're a great mom/dad to them

[TheorionMage]

I am in such a situation as a 'step Dad' to two of second wife's grown sons. Her eldest is 'estranged by his choice' and theoretically I have two grandchildren I'm forbidden to see. Her younger Son is in his early 30's and engaged. Both he and his fiancee consider me as 'Dad'. These days, blended families are challenging relationships based upon who's "there for you"... rather than genetic heritage, if the first partner is a parasitic narcissist I told the elder son, I'd respect his wishes HOWEVER should his children / MY grandchildren upon reaching 18, elect to make contact... I'll respect THEIR wishes over his and TELL THEM WHOM ruined those precious years for them.
Their estranged grandparents live within an hour's drive of five major theme parks. And would have loved to grown to get to know our grandchildren.~ Those kids will be in our will, her eldest son and spouse, will not.

[DizzyDesii]

Oh wow

[FinalFantasyBro]

I don't technically believe in the notion of step parenting unless the step parent acted more like a parent towards the kid instead of the actual parent who didn't did their job. But if I did had a child, and I am dating another person I kinda just want my kid to refer them as their real name. The same is with dating a girl who has her own children since I ain't the legal guardian of those kids I just rather have them just say my name. Saying Mr. And Miss. sometimes get ultra confusing it makes me think I am a teacher or I married.

[DizzyDesii]

I just add the Mr:mrs out of respect

[FinalFantasyBro]

I know but still I just tell the kids who isn't mine's, what my name is.

[JC1981]

No I wouldn't be ok with that. They have a name, that is what they should be call. Obviously is the child was raise from s young age with the other parent not around or past then I can understand them getting called mum or dad. But if both parents are in the child life, then no.

[DizzyDesii]

I agree

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

They can call the STEP mom, Ms. xyz or aunty, their father or step mother shouldn't be out of line and play with me like that. If the child really wants to do that, throw the whole child away, she can adopt them 😒, so now you got the one you wanted mother 😊.

[DizzyDesii]

😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

The only parent who's ever truly been there for me has been my mum, by law I had to see my father and stepmother but it was highly insulting when people assumed they were my parents (bio parents by the way) (step mum is black and I'm light/olive skinned). I've also always given my stepmother the stink eye if she's ever tried to call me her step daughter to others in front of me instead of my father/her husbands daughter. Why? well apart from them both being people of low moral character, why should I freely give a stranger who tolerated me because she had to the title of mum? That title isn't meaningless in my opinion.

[DizzyDesii]

Right on

[Pyrofox]

Ultimately we have to be okay with it cause its going to get ugly if your kid disowns their parent for the other parent and their step parent and or bio parent if they were adopted. It often times best when if comes to parenting to let the kid choose if its a messy relationship who's the real parents. Or else its going to get weird when your kid out of rage starts calling you by your first name instead of mom or dad. That is if it gets to that extreme.

[DizzyDesii]

The stepparent is the one they should call by first name

[Pyrofox]

Not if they consider them a replacement. And thats the catch 22. Is if the Step Parent knows that the best way to cement being the step parent is being the better step mom or dad. Its pretty much game over.

[DizzyDesii]

Ooooo

[Pyrofox]

Its like how are you gong to compete with a step parent who is willing to like fully fund your kids college career (As in get them in their dream college.) so long as they promise to keep grades at or above a 3,0 GPA AND if they keep it A's they will take them and your ex husband or wife on family vacations. At that point its like the final nail in the coffin. At that point your kid may as well forget about their old parent. The kid might even at that point just leave out the step part and call the new step mom or dad their real parent >.> Even if legally their biological mom is their legal mom or father. Kids aren't blind they notice when things in life start going the way they want and they aren't afraid to jump at the chance. there's a reason why sometimes giving a carrot has better results than throwing sticks.

[Phoenix98]

If the original mother wasn’t part of their lives for whatever reason or was a horrible mother and I was married to a new chick and she was a good parent to the kid and kid liked her and the woman didn’t have an issue with it and liked her. Then I wouldn't have an issue with it.

[DizzyDesii]

That makes sense. But no i meant if your kids mom married another dude and they called him dad

[Phoenix98]

Ooo um 😐 I’d like think in that site I’d be a good enough father that, that wouldn’t happen.

[beebella]

Both of my parents are step-parents and my sister (from my mom) called my dad "dad" when we were kids, but my dad's older kids never really called my mom "mom." My older brother will on occasion, but they both usually just call her by her name.

I don't know how I would feel if my kid (s) called another woman "mom", but if she's been in the picture almost as long as I have, then I don't think I could blame them for feeling like she's their mom, too.

[DizzyDesii]

Man they better call her “Madam”. Thats the closest to mom i’d accept 🤣

[beebella]

😂😂

[worldscolide]

I will tell it from the other point of view. If i had a child with someone who was not my wife, like a prior relationship, I absolutely would not allow them to call my wife mom, Not unless it was 100% fully ok with the mother of the child. I dont want to diminish the role their mother has if that makes sense.

[DizzyDesii]

Right on

[SofiSin667]

It’s disrespectful to the biological parents if they’re doing their best to be in their life. Unless their biological parent is dead or a complete deadbeat, there’s no reason why the child should be calling someone else mom or dad.

[DizzyDesii]

I agree

[Slayerrrrrrr]

Oh hell nah. We having the talk right then & there & he/she is knowing EXACTLY what it took for them to be made... shii hanging around with the only dad before they were born.

[DizzyDesii]

exactly!

[NathanDavis]

I'd tell my children to go with whatever they feel comfortable, and I'd assume that the younger they were and raised by their step-father as well, the more inclined they would be to call him dad... personally... I would prefer they call me Nathan... lol

[DizzyDesii]

Wow you dont wanna be dad

[NathanDavis]

being a father takes a lot, much more than being called one... lol, I think

[BareNecessary]

It should depend on the kid's personal relationship with them. And what the kid is comfortable with. I wouldn't feel disrespected or have an issue with it really at all. But if they're forced to call them mommy or daddy, thats where I have problems.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea a lot will force it.

[BareNecessary]

What a bunch of A holes.

[exitseven]

good question. I think there are some circumstances where it could be appropriate.

[DizzyDesii]

Only if theyre dying. Otherwise nah

[exitseven]

You just never know when the Black Rabbit will pay you a visit.

[exitseven]

After reading the update, it would not be cool for the kid to call the step parent mon/dad.

[DizzyDesii]

Lol thought so 🤣

[exitseven]

smarty pants.

[Likes2drive]

I have step parents and was a stepdad, I always called them by their name and my stepsons would call me by my name, everyone was respectful though

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i think its fine to be respectful but yea definitely call em by Mr/Mrs (first or last name)

[Likes2drive]

That would be strange to me, seems like I’m back in school, we used to call teachers that

[DizzyDesii]

That just shows how formal the person would be to me. I’m not letting them in my “family” circle but i will respect them like i do other elders

[BillyBalls]

Nope.

A kid only has one mother or father.


Now if one parent is dead and the remaining parent remarried, I seen no problem with it

[DizzyDesii]

I agree

[FinalFantasyBro]

Or if the parent act like a deadbeat, I I can see the concept of being a step parent.

[Wiredone]

If my parents remarried and the step parent really stepped up to the plate, I might call them mom or dad.

[DizzyDesii]

check update too

[Wiredone]

Regarding update I'd still be the biological father. If the step dad is great with my kids it would be fine for them to call him dad.

[SmokinAces2000]

If I was as in my child’s life and was being a father to them yes of course I wouldn’t be cool with that

[DizzyDesii]

I know right

[Den1971]

Technically if both sets of parents are doing a good job and everybody's pitching in on what they should be pitching in on like school grades teaching reprimanding then it should be okay as long as the children if they're old enough understand who the real mommy and daddy are and if they're not old enough whenever they get old enough maybe you should explain because somebody's going to ask

[DizzyDesii]

Mmm i see

[Den1971]

Not as much as it sucks to hear your child that you birthed calling another woman mom is going to suck but if she's doing the right thing by your child and your husband's making her do the right thing by your child and vice versa on the other side of Mommy and Daddy with whoever else is new significant other your kids got kind of like double the chances they got two parents if all the parents are actively involved in sports and school and the kid growing up buying the kid what he or she needs or them should be anything wrong with it sometimes we all got to grow up I went through it we all got to grow up in respect reality or will never be happy besides that is just a word

[DizzyDesii]

I’d tell em like my mon told me. You have only one mother. Call that lady Mrs ____

[Den1971]

That too but you never know whenever they're over there for their weekend they might be talking to kids into calling her mother. You just need to ask her whenever they come home what is this lady telling you she trying to make you call her mother just ask em

[DizzyDesii]

I’d tell the lady straight up, my kids have one mother. They will always only refer to you as Mrs ___

[Den1971]

Git after it then🌪️💯

[DizzyDesii]

I dont have kids yet lol

[tomtom05131]

I’m divorced and luckily my daughter didn’t call the ex’s new hubby dad or anything like. However my ex’s first hubby’s (yeah she’s a 3x divorcee) son called me dad. Would i have hated if my daughter called #3 hubby dad? Yes, but it isn’t worth giving your kid issues over it. They’re just kids. Embrace the suck and move on.

[DizzyDesii]

Just kindly tell them you're not cool with that

[katiesmuff]

There was not a man in the picture for my daughter to call Dad until I finally married. Within the first 6 mo's that we were married he had legally adapted her and she loves him as though he was there from the beginning.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea this is totally fine

[nella965]

I will tell you the real honest truth here:

Unless the real mommy / daddy has abandoned the child completely, the step parent will never the "other mommy / daddy". Mommies are not replaceable that way.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea but some think its okay to call both that

[nella965]

@DizzyDesii

I can say that the overwhelming majority of kids would not agree with you.

[DizzyDesii]

I dont think its okay. I just said some think its okay

[nella965]

very very very few people would agree with you on that. I guarantee it. Parents aren't just something you can replace like a light bulb.

[DizzyDesii]

All that matters is that someone agrees. This isn't a competition. Call it a day and agree to disagree

[nella965]

you have no idea how ridiculous this question is.

[DizzyDesii]

So leave if you dont like it and stop being so dramatic

[t-8900]

I called my best friends parents mom and dad because my real parents were never around. My father having a noble excuse of making enough to take care of me. But my mother just went clubbing and slept around.

[DizzyDesii]

Dang im sorry that happened

[t-8900]

Don't be. While this was as going on children in Iraq were being blown up by drone strikes. Someone's always got harder than the next person. It's hard for me to trust though band causes me to make bad choices sometimes but I'm trying so hard to be a better person and not let my past define me.

[t-8900]

Sorry for typos I'm using my touch pad

[FinalFantasyBro]

Whoa I am incredibly sorry for your parents absence growing up man, but it's great that your best friend parents were willing to step up to the plate.

[t-8900]

@FinalFantasyBro ya they were great people.

[FinalFantasyBro]

@t-8900 That basically prove that not all family needs to have blood relation. The people who you live next door with could be a family if they decide to.

[t-8900]

@FinalFantasyBro my dad was a good man. He just struggled putting food on the table solo. Can't fault a man for doing all he can.

[FinalFantasyBro]

Exactly at least your dad had an excuse, judging from your mom I guess it different with her.

[t-8900]

@FinalFantasyBro my mother went around clubbing and being a lesbian at night clubs with randoms. What do you think? she was a pos, ruined her entire marriage and family. Son went on from a private school to inner city school, daughter ended up unsupervised and raped on her watch.

[FinalFantasyBro]

She sounds like a terrible and irresponsible mother but not the father though, I am assuming he must had been working but his boss kept him at his job.

[t-8900]

@FinalFantasyBro he was a technitian in the morning and a manager in the evenings. He worked from 8 AM- 2AM the next morning. this is why his heart gave out and they had to bring him back 3 times. And now I'm his sole caregiver and thus i haven't been able to pursue a career or make much money. This is a huge insecurity to me and why i've been single most of my adult life.

[FinalFantasyBro]

Oh I am sorry that your father has been worked to the burn, I can understand that you have to now watch over for him. But you can still look for a job or a career despite your circumstances, have you tried finding a person who can try looking out for your father whenever you are job searching. You know hire a pertential care taker that you can pay to watch your father while you are looking for your dream job

[t-8900]

@FinalFantasyBro well i'm going back to school to finally get my business degree this spring. I met someone and if it works out she's cool with him moving in with us. I can rest easier after.

[FinalFantasyBro]

See that works out perfectly, if your father will still be token great cared of, while you can focused on what you actually want to do. And that is great knowing the lady doesn't mind taking care of your dad.

[t-8900]

@FinalFantasyBro ya she said she found it attractive. I dont abandon my own and never will. won't abandon him, won't abandon her.

[FinalFantasyBro]

Definitely sounds like a great song and great man.

[FinalFantasyBro]

Son* Autocorrect

[Kellanved]

I think it mostly depends on how involved real parent is. If he/she is absent than absolutely kid should call step-father/step-mother mom or dad, but if real parent is involved it would be best if they kept that name for them

[DizzyDesii]

I agree

[TacosRAwesome]

If the kid feel that step-parent deserves the mum / dad title then so be it. If step-parent insists on kid calling them mum / dad, and the kid doesn't want to, then they can fuck off.

[DizzyDesii]

The parent often insists

[TacosRAwesome]

Oh then in that case I'm making my kids calling her little ho and bribing them with stickers when they're back home.

[DizzyDesii]

💀🤣🤣🤣 That sounds like sumn i’d say. “Whatup liil hoe” 🤣😭 this made my night

[Ninani]

I wouldn't want another woman being "mom" to her, so I'd just make sure to introduce them by name and avoid all that.

[DizzyDesii]

I agree

[silkjames]

Me I'm cool with it and plus it's not up to any parents if your kids calls another man dad if he cool and my daughter thinks he's cool everything fine with me👍🏽💯%!

[DizzyDesii]

Ahh ok

[Anonymous]

I would expect where there is a co parent arrangement, the original parents are mom and dad. And the new parents are called by name.
Little ones will probably make up their own rules based on what is comfortable.

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[Tiptoetamm]

So my step dad raised me from a year oldest po 0pppp

[Tiptoetamm]

My step dad raised me from a year old I've always called him dad. I have no relationship with my biological father

[Tiptoetamm]

Totally messed up the first post. tried to fix it summited it in accident lol

[DizzyDesii]

No in that case its fine

[19magic]

No it's fine it's up to the kid on whether or not they want to do that, besides they'll be getting two sets of parents so why not

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

You can say "daddy" but i believe you should call them "step daddy". They're not your TRUE daddy

plus, it's weird saying "daddy"

makes me think of "daddy issue, porn girls"

[DizzyDesii]

Dad/daddy/father etc you knew what i meant

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

My point is, it sounds like daddy issue, porn women

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

I've seen some of your mho's by the way, you're an idiot

[Anpu23]

Im fine with my step kids calling me dad. I would have issues with my kid calling somebody else dad.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea like naw

[Coulis]

If they are comfortable and do it themselves what's wrong with that?

[Pink2000]

No. I would not be cool with that.

[DizzyDesii]

Right like i dont play that

[Waldoe]

I would be ok with the child calling him... Daddy Bob... Or something along those lines... Otherwise NO

[DizzyDesii]

Daddy Bob. Nahh. Mr Bob it is lol

[bulletbob555]

It happens. My son calls me Bob. He has referred to me when telling others that I'm his father. Close enough

[DizzyDesii]

Umm wow

[legalboxers]

what can I do? I'm the biological parent.. they got someone else

[DizzyDesii]

You can tell the stepparent your kids won't call them dad

[Den1971]

No better time than the present

[Twalli]

Probably would want to be called dad if I raise the kid.

[DizzyDesii]

Even if he's still on great terms withs real one?

[Twalli]

Yeah, because the real one isn't helping raise the kid. If it's shared custody I would prefer first name.

[DizzyDesii]

No i def meant shared custodu

[Twalli]

Then preferably by my first name

[NightOwl8801]

I've gotten used to being called dad after about three years as a stepfather

[JosyJosy]

Not really no

[DizzyDesii]

Yea like nahh

[Anonymous]

It is their choice, not mine. Therefore, I am cool with it.

[siseñor]

depends how old they wld b LMAO

[DizzyDesii]

True

[pleasestopthis]

Not cool, definitely not!

[DizzyDesii]

I know right

[Jamie05rhs]

Um, that wouldn't happen.

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao ikr

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm saying I wouldn't even get divorced.

[DizzyDesii]

I know

[krin_m]

I am not in that situation so I don't know.

[DizzyDesii]

Hypothetically speaking… good lawd

[krin_m]

LOL. I know. sometimes I like to be a smartass.
No I would not care one way or the other.

[Agape93]

Yeap

[DizzyDesii]

Lol what about Mommy #1 and Mommy #2

[Agape93]

Fine by me lol just lose the numbers, were not Seuss characters lol

[DizzyDesii]

I did that on purpose lmao. But im saying this isn't your spouse. Its the competiton 🤣

[Agape93]

Ohhh lol 😆

[Sia_nee]

Nope, weird af

[DizzyDesii]

So what would you want them to call their stepparent

[Relux47]

Not sure

[DizzyDesii]

I wouldn't be. If i’ve been a great parent to them then the other lady should just he Mrs Lady lol

[TallAnon]

I suppose so, yeah

[DizzyDesii]

So your kids can call another man daddy

[TallAnon]

It would probably bother me, but that doesn't mean the kid needs to know, it's just a kid and if that's what it concluded, well, ok.

[Jouth]

Only during sex.

[FinalFantasyBro]

You would want to see your children to have sex with an older man or woman?

[Jouth]

@FinalFantasyBro If the mood strikes...

[FinalFantasyBro]

Well I definitely make sure I ain't having children around you.

[DizzyDesii]

@FinalFantasyBro 🤣🤣🤣🤣 wtf

[FinalFantasyBro]

@DizzyDesii If I did had children I would be worried that they would end up in the wrong situation like this man who wants his kids to have sex in a young age.

[Jouth]

I know, right?

[Erron_Black]

İ am not

[DizzyDesii]

Same