If you dont have kids, just hypothetically answer as if you do. Or feel free to share your experience with a stepparent. My mom always told me “GIRL, YOU ONLY GOT ONE MAMA! AND THATS ME!!” 🤣 Trust, one mom was enough. I’d neeeever call a step anything a step anything. If you are not my blood parent then you are just “Mr/Mrs (insert your name here).” Shit, I dont even call my own sperm donor “dad/father”. Fck i look like calling the next ninja that. Boyyy you just a replacement. Nothing more #FeelFreeToList
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+1 y
by the way, this is in a shared custody case. You and your ex spouse are coparenting. The ex spouse has remarried and their kid is calling the stepparent mom/dad even though you're a great mom/dad to them
Are you cool with your kid calling their step-parent (that the other parent married) mommy/daddy?
I am in such a situation as a 'step Dad' to two of second wife's grown sons. Her eldest is 'estranged by his choice' and theoretically I have two grandchildren I'm forbidden to see. Her younger Son is in his early 30's and engaged. Both he and his fiancee consider me as 'Dad'. These days, blended families are challenging relationships based upon who's "there for you"... rather than genetic heritage, if the first partner is a parasitic narcissist I told the elder son, I'd respect his wishes HOWEVER should his children / MY grandchildren upon reaching 18, elect to make contact... I'll respect THEIR wishes over his and TELL THEM WHOM ruined those precious years for them. Their estranged grandparents live within an hour's drive of five major theme parks. And would have loved to grown to get to know our grandchildren.~ Those kids will be in our will, her eldest son and spouse, will not.
I don't technically believe in the notion of step parenting unless the step parent acted more like a parent towards the kid instead of the actual parent who didn't did their job. But if I did had a child, and I am dating another person I kinda just want my kid to refer them as their real name. The same is with dating a girl who has her own children since I ain't the legal guardian of those kids I just rather have them just say my name. Saying Mr. And Miss. sometimes get ultra confusing it makes me think I am a teacher or I married.
No I wouldn't be ok with that. They have a name, that is what they should be call. Obviously is the child was raise from s young age with the other parent not around or past then I can understand them getting called mum or dad. But if both parents are in the child life, then no.
They can call the STEP mom, Ms. xyz or aunty, their father or step mother shouldn't be out of line and play with me like that. If the child really wants to do that, throw the whole child away, she can adopt them 😒, so now you got the one you wanted mother 😊.
The only parent who's ever truly been there for me has been my mum, by law I had to see my father and stepmother but it was highly insulting when people assumed they were my parents (bio parents by the way) (step mum is black and I'm light/olive skinned). I've also always given my stepmother the stink eye if she's ever tried to call me her step daughter to others in front of me instead of my father/her husbands daughter. Why? well apart from them both being people of low moral character, why should I freely give a stranger who tolerated me because she had to the title of mum? That title isn't meaningless in my opinion.
Ultimately we have to be okay with it cause its going to get ugly if your kid disowns their parent for the other parent and their step parent and or bio parent if they were adopted. It often times best when if comes to parenting to let the kid choose if its a messy relationship who's the real parents. Or else its going to get weird when your kid out of rage starts calling you by your first name instead of mom or dad. That is if it gets to that extreme.
Not if they consider them a replacement. And thats the catch 22. Is if the Step Parent knows that the best way to cement being the step parent is being the better step mom or dad. Its pretty much game over.
Its like how are you gong to compete with a step parent who is willing to like fully fund your kids college career (As in get them in their dream college.) so long as they promise to keep grades at or above a 3,0 GPA AND if they keep it A's they will take them and your ex husband or wife on family vacations. At that point its like the final nail in the coffin. At that point your kid may as well forget about their old parent. The kid might even at that point just leave out the step part and call the new step mom or dad their real parent >.> Even if legally their biological mom is their legal mom or father. Kids aren't blind they notice when things in life start going the way they want and they aren't afraid to jump at the chance. there's a reason why sometimes giving a carrot has better results than throwing sticks.
If the original mother wasn’t part of their lives for whatever reason or was a horrible mother and I was married to a new chick and she was a good parent to the kid and kid liked her and the woman didn’t have an issue with it and liked her. Then I wouldn't have an issue with it.
I will tell it from the other point of view. If i had a child with someone who was not my wife, like a prior relationship, I absolutely would not allow them to call my wife mom, Not unless it was 100% fully ok with the mother of the child. I dont want to diminish the role their mother has if that makes sense.
Both of my parents are step-parents and my sister (from my mom) called my dad "dad" when we were kids, but my dad's older kids never really called my mom "mom." My older brother will on occasion, but they both usually just call her by her name.
I don't know how I would feel if my kid (s) called another woman "mom", but if she's been in the picture almost as long as I have, then I don't think I could blame them for feeling like she's their mom, too.
It’s disrespectful to the biological parents if they’re doing their best to be in their life. Unless their biological parent is dead or a complete deadbeat, there’s no reason why the child should be calling someone else mom or dad.
Oh hell nah. We having the talk right then & there & he/she is knowing EXACTLY what it took for them to be made... shii hanging around with the only dad before they were born.
I'd tell my children to go with whatever they feel comfortable, and I'd assume that the younger they were and raised by their step-father as well, the more inclined they would be to call him dad... personally... I would prefer they call me Nathan... lol
It should depend on the kid's personal relationship with them. And what the kid is comfortable with. I wouldn't feel disrespected or have an issue with it really at all. But if they're forced to call them mommy or daddy, thats where I have problems.
Technically if both sets of parents are doing a good job and everybody's pitching in on what they should be pitching in on like school grades teaching reprimanding then it should be okay as long as the children if they're old enough understand who the real mommy and daddy are and if they're not old enough whenever they get old enough maybe you should explain because somebody's going to ask
Not as much as it sucks to hear your child that you birthed calling another woman mom is going to suck but if she's doing the right thing by your child and your husband's making her do the right thing by your child and vice versa on the other side of Mommy and Daddy with whoever else is new significant other your kids got kind of like double the chances they got two parents if all the parents are actively involved in sports and school and the kid growing up buying the kid what he or she needs or them should be anything wrong with it sometimes we all got to grow up I went through it we all got to grow up in respect reality or will never be happy besides that is just a word
That too but you never know whenever they're over there for their weekend they might be talking to kids into calling her mother. You just need to ask her whenever they come home what is this lady telling you she trying to make you call her mother just ask em
I’m divorced and luckily my daughter didn’t call the ex’s new hubby dad or anything like. However my ex’s first hubby’s (yeah she’s a 3x divorcee) son called me dad. Would i have hated if my daughter called #3 hubby dad? Yes, but it isn’t worth giving your kid issues over it. They’re just kids. Embrace the suck and move on.
There was not a man in the picture for my daughter to call Dad until I finally married. Within the first 6 mo's that we were married he had legally adapted her and she loves him as though he was there from the beginning.
Unless the real mommy / daddy has abandoned the child completely, the step parent will never the "other mommy / daddy". Mommies are not replaceable that way.
I called my best friends parents mom and dad because my real parents were never around. My father having a noble excuse of making enough to take care of me. But my mother just went clubbing and slept around.
Don't be. While this was as going on children in Iraq were being blown up by drone strikes. Someone's always got harder than the next person. It's hard for me to trust though band causes me to make bad choices sometimes but I'm trying so hard to be a better person and not let my past define me.
@t-8900 That basically prove that not all family needs to have blood relation. The people who you live next door with could be a family if they decide to.
@FinalFantasyBro my mother went around clubbing and being a lesbian at night clubs with randoms. What do you think? she was a pos, ruined her entire marriage and family. Son went on from a private school to inner city school, daughter ended up unsupervised and raped on her watch.
She sounds like a terrible and irresponsible mother but not the father though, I am assuming he must had been working but his boss kept him at his job.
@FinalFantasyBro he was a technitian in the morning and a manager in the evenings. He worked from 8 AM- 2AM the next morning. this is why his heart gave out and they had to bring him back 3 times. And now I'm his sole caregiver and thus i haven't been able to pursue a career or make much money. This is a huge insecurity to me and why i've been single most of my adult life.
Oh I am sorry that your father has been worked to the burn, I can understand that you have to now watch over for him. But you can still look for a job or a career despite your circumstances, have you tried finding a person who can try looking out for your father whenever you are job searching. You know hire a pertential care taker that you can pay to watch your father while you are looking for your dream job
@FinalFantasyBro well i'm going back to school to finally get my business degree this spring. I met someone and if it works out she's cool with him moving in with us. I can rest easier after.
See that works out perfectly, if your father will still be token great cared of, while you can focused on what you actually want to do. And that is great knowing the lady doesn't mind taking care of your dad.
I think it mostly depends on how involved real parent is. If he/she is absent than absolutely kid should call step-father/step-mother mom or dad, but if real parent is involved it would be best if they kept that name for them
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