Are people who choose to sit and watch/hear someone being abused physically just as bad/guilty as the abuser?

[Anonymous]

My Bestfriend is in a situation that is very violent, physically, with her boyfriend. She won’t leave him, the more me and her family try to pull her away from him she holds on tighter. She refuses to even listen to her mom or dad and won’t allow her dad to harm him for harming her. She protects him, still caters to him and even lives with him now and has called me late at night crying because he beat her and when I tell her that I’m on my way to get her she always stops me and says “No, Don’t come.” After she just cried to me on the phone. She has even told me stories about how his two sisters and mom will be there sometimes when he attacks her, they’ll hear her screams of her telling him to stop, basically hear her fighting for her life and they never intervene so in my eyes they’re just as bad as him so she’s all around unsafe in that environment. She has a man that she thinks loves her that hits on her and his family who never even do something as simple as call the cops. They just listen and allow it to happen and when I went to the cops about it, nothing was done because I needed her, seeing as she is the victim and not me, to actually agree to file charges against him but she refused and I’m afraid for her life.

[hahahmm]

No. Some people like your friend are attracted to dangerous abusers. If you kidnapped her and moved her 3k miles away, she would crawl back to the guy within a week and be making out with him right in front of you. No, I'm not kidding. You can't make what amounts to a crazy person sane.

There was a famous case (Marlon Brando's kids, I think) where a brother tried to save his sister from this kind of situation by killing her boyfriend. His reward was that she killed herself to be with her dead boyfriend and the brother went to prison for murder.

That said... if a guy put hands on my sister/daughter in front of me he's basically challenging me to do something and I'd have to do something to him in that moment. He'd probably be smart enough not to go there around me because he'd know it's not going to fly. But if she called me up with a sob story like your friend does to you, I'd say... call 911. See, I know the BS games a lot of these so-called victims play. If they really wanted help they'd leave the situation.

[hahahmm]

It's dangerous for the person trying to intervene tho. The boyfriend AND the woman could both attack you together. It's gotten many people killed which is why cops say that domestic violence situations are the most dangerous.

[Mynameisbobby]

They should do something if they are there and he's beating on her and she's screaming for her life. But she is the only one that can get away from him. No one can do that for her even if the police came they could arrest him but chances are she will go back to him. She has to change something in her so she believes that being treated like this is wrong.

[MikeGaveO2]

To see a crime being committed, and choosing to do nothing about it, you're just as guilty as the perpetrator. I'm sorry for your friend, she needs serious help and intervention.

[FireFox001]

You can't save stupid.