Is the only way to work out fights anymore to block or ghost people?

Question

Whatever happened to working things out? It is possible to have arguments and still come to an agreement and remain friends/together. Why have our communication skills seemingly gone to shit in the past 20 years?

DonkeyDan · Accepted Answer

Oh there are plenty of situations where I come to a resolution over an argument or disagreement, But there are some occasions where it's an unsurpassable situation where the person has over stepped the mark and can't take back what they did. I'd never just leave it though and ghost them I'd always be sure to tell them I never want to see them again. In fairness that really doesn't happen much at all and over ever done it a few times in my lifetime.
I do think that generally people seem less and less able to resolve conflicts these days, and I believe it is mainly down to the way in which society has changed the way in which we communicate now. Some many people communicate by electronic technology and many interpersonal and social skills have been lost, particularly in the younger generations who never developed them in the first place. People also find it much easier to be rude to people when they are sitting behind a keyboard. People don't usually act the same in people but some people have started to bring their communication methods from online into the real world, and that just doesn't work.

Jouth · Accepted Answer

A better way to settle it is to get naked and have a tickle fight. Can't stay angry that way

globetrotter22 · Answer

Sure ghosting and blocking works great if your a selfish POS coward. You get to avoid conflict and adult responsibility. However as time passes your conscious will haunt you as it should. Your reputation will also suffer. You self sabotage yourself but damaging meaningful relationships (romantic or platonic). Even if the association needs to end only a decent person will communicate why.

I had to disassociate with a long time friend a few months ago. But before I did I told him straight up what my issues are. Also when I broke up with my ex girlfriend I sat down and gave her 2 full hours of discussion and closure. She went ballistic, screamed, cried, threw things and it culminated when she threatened suicide. However I don’t regret how I handled it. I walked away knowing I did the right thing.

But as you people who ghost (usually women) how do you feel about it? I had a female friend ghost me 3 years ago and then try to reconnect by messaging me on LinkedIn (she blocked me on everything else). She acted like nothing was wrong.

I told her fake ass to pound sand. I don’t forgive people who ghost for no good reason albeit not even apologize for shitty actions when they try to reconnect.

lightbulb27 · Answer

"everyone gets a trophy"... Inability to lose and handle those emotions, then people are faced with the real world... and walk away. It's the easy path, it's the end of our society. So people ghost and block as "normal" resolution to conflict and self preservation.

(1857) FREDERICK DOUGLASS, “IF THERE IS NO STRUGGLE, THERE IS NO PROGRESS”. We gotta let kids struggle, fail. Competition is good, it refines the spirit.

I for one despise conflict, run form it, avoid it. I was shut down, Id rather agree (when I disagree. Probably a reason I loved a prior woman and gave her my all, she made it feel easy... but she gave me nothing in return. No growth. Total waste.

Ya want to stay who you are... find someone who doesn't challenge you.

Relationships offer perspective on ourselves we cannot see. My girlfriend provides that. The other side of this is listening and communicating. I'm learning that.

So no, we need to learn to sit down, listen hard... give time to reflect, and see the others views. Stop texting, and prioritize talking and building relationships.

ohshee · Answer

There's always going to be someone who likes pushing buttons.
Then you have people who see it another way.
And just because I think something doesn't mean I'm right just because I think it.
Either way I'm going to to put myself in there shoes to try and understand or to feel what they feel..
I'm not trying to be right for anyone. Its they way I see or feel about it for me

Nothing remains the same it always gets better because someone sees it different
Inventors invent things. And in time somebody will see it different and make it different or better you kind of got to grow with it

And I know that you're not talking about stuff like this but even Sports every four years there's a new faster runner the new faster swimmer because they see it different
Here's one for all the guys
A long time ago I thought I was the best lover on this planet
I meant this girl
And when she was done with me I knew in that moment I didn't know one thing about being a lover. She knock my socks off and I realize just because I think I know something does it mean that I do.
I've been feeling kind of cocky lately Evan guess you happen again. LMAO
But anyway I'll listen to anybody that I have something to say I'm always willing to learn. I've never blocked anybody and I can't act probably won't ever it just depends if they keep poking me and I won't let it go then maybe I might. But I kind of doubt it

Bricealan · Answer

You have read my posts, and I feel like I know you somewhat, and hope you feel the same way. What I write, is who I am and what I feel. With that said:

The people on this "Blog" are basically a cross section of the society at large, (maybe, but many people at large would not involve themselves on a blog like this)

I find, and you also find, many persons that seem to share ideas/ideals the same as you and maybe, myself.

As difficult as it is to come to an agreement with my relatives, about just any social issue, and we debate face-to-face, I cannot conceive any way of having a discourse with someone on this blog or any blog, that vehemently disagrees with me, and even becomes abusive, and/or vulgar in the process.

With all that said, I too, find myself being abrasive at times about some of the things that one girl suggested that she is fed up with on hearing. She asked to post some of the brain-dead subjects that we have heard enough of. I'm glad she did that.

So, yes, if someone is abrasive/ rude as hell/ vulgar/dirty talk about something they take issue with, I DON'T WANT TO CONTINUE THE TALK, since I can have that kind of discussion with my SIBLING !
So, to answer directly, if someone wants to be an ass about something, I don't want to deal with that, so, yes, I block them.
I have a good grasp of he English language, and have had some good discourse here, then again, some, not so much.
Bruce

Anonymous · Answer

It’s not just the preference to ghost people, but the ever present pressure that society pushes on our generation to “protect your peace” “only have good vibes” “cut off the fake friends” etc. nobody can think for themselves anymore. Sometimes, it’s good to listen to societies advice. But other times you have to think for yourself whether a relationship is worth fighting for. But, by that same token if your dealing with another young person they face just as much pressure as you to do all those things as well. So in the end, even if you try to compromise or come to some kind of solutions the other person may interpret very little arguments and disagreements as a negativity that they “must” get rid of because they are “worth” more than dealing with you. So if you’ve been ghosted enough times even if you have a forgiving/compromising spirit you will adopt the idea that it’s better to cut off the bad stuff before it gets bad enough for them to ghost you or you believe that eventually it’s going to happen so better to get it over with

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

I think many in my generation are maybe turning things around. We always talk things out. (At least MY friends do) if there is a disagreement between us, of if someone says something that’s hurtful, we address it there and then, or as soon after. There is usually a reason fir it, but we just don’t know what exactly is going on in someone else’s life, and we choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. Friends are not disposable! Eventually we will run out of friends. And while ghosting may “cure” disagreements, the one thing it can’t cure is being alone b/c you ghosted all your friends! I have already met people at college who are like that (the type to ghost people). It’s just so weird to me, it’s definitely the wrong thing to do!

aintnocandle · Answer

Lol I just told off this lawyer guy I was dating. He thought he was a hot shot because he knew all these big words and thought he sounded so smart using them. Yet, he couldn’t communicate for shit. Our communication was so bad no matter how much I tried and how many techniques I tried. I am a psych grad so maybe it’s just in my nature to want to communicate and work out my brain and the other’s brain. But eventually I just told him it’s ironic that he knows all these big words yet it seems he missed the mark since words were created for communication, of which he fails at.

Anyways, yeah I agree. A lot of people don’t want to “go there” and just don’t give energy to meaningful things and healthy things like talking and working through things. I don’t think a lot of people know how to mentally process it so they just check out.

Vetera · Answer

Because the sad thing is people don't want to learn and develop critical thinking skills. I know I'm about to sound like a middle aged dad but with the rise of the internet it kinda seems more common. Never before have you been able to click a few buttons if you never wanted to talk to or see someone again. Therefore it's simpler to just block someone and move on now. It's quite stupid and I'm lucky to have found friends who aren't like that and a girlfriend who actually has an interest in letting me fix my fuckups rather than throwing a fit if I get something wrong.

The people who pull this stuff are usually pretty immature unless they have a specific reason other than 'We had one fight and I can't change them or agree to disagree so blocked'.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Blocking may show a lack of communication but its also a way to show the person you really give no fcks about them. Im not gonna waste my energy on anyone im not trying to see in my future. My mom, sis, grandparents, and whoever i date are the only 5 people who even stand a chance of avoiding the blocklist. Of course if i breakup with the person then yea theyre getting blocked cause well “no backsies.” But outside of that short list, anyone else can get it at anytime

GingerGuy · Answer

I don't even think it's gets to the fighting stage? Ghosted before that even. It seems to be our society today. Don't "deal" with anything, just avoid it completely. You know... the healthy way! lol. Just 100% selfishness. There's no consideration for anyone these days you notice? With anything. Really sad and only getting worse.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

It could be the same person with multiple accounts blocking you to make you feel bad. I know a few pretty girls / woman on this site that were targeted by troll accounts. Every time you said something good about them in a Q&A, at least 4 accounts would down vote you. I had a similar thing when I posted my photo, a guy who hated me from my school days kept creating fake profiles to rate me as a 1/2 out of 10. I know it’s fake cause the ratings all appeared at the same time.

NathanDavis · Answer

not for me... no

when I've done wrong I've always tried my best and right away, and try to make things better and to work again... and that's because I care, I've never stop caring for someone or something I do really care for...

and if I consider the other part has done something wrong, I'm always quick to "forget" and I want to resolve and just move on

as long as the intentions of really hurting someone are NOT there, I always rather move on

exitseven · Answer

Social media makes it too easy to block people. Not only that but it reduces people to something less than human. I doubt that when people ghost you they don't even realize that you are a person with real feelings and that you just hurt them. To them you are just something on a computer screen.

abw121290 · Answer

From my perspective, things have gotten a lot worse since COVID. The lockdowns basically made personal interaction non-existent and people lost sense of what communication actually looks like. But yes, things were already on the decline before then.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it depends how incentivised you are.

Some people avoid conflict by avoiding having opinions about anything, sometimes you are forced to accept or tolerate the disagreements you have with people because you have to work with or live with them or whatever.

But if you are not constrained and do have entrenched and conflicting views then isn't avoiding interaction better than continuing conflict?

red324 · Answer

Happens to me online all the time. They will ghost anytime I say something that rubs them the wrong way and I don't even k ow these girls that well, but they'll throw away an entire week or two of texting back and forth vs just saying oh I don't like it when someone says that. I can say the same thing to the next girl and she'll laugh.

Wiredone · Answer

A lot of people these days like to play childish games when they have a fight. There is no more communication or compromise. If I argue with someone and we can't work it out, I just say "let's agree that we disagree on this subject and move forward". Nobody loses, nobody wins, everyone is happy and life goes on.

TonyV · Answer

Preach, a female friend just unfriended me and have literally no idea why, clearly something bothered her but when we barely talk its real hard for me to geuss hows she's offended.

People have commitment issues anymore, they think it's only for dating and they can barely hold onto those relationships. Nope anymore most people only remain friends as long as its convenient, I'm about done with people, currently thinking out my circles of the fake people

MotorcycleMan · Answer

Right? It seems like we have multiple generations now that don't like conflict so much and relationships have become so disposable that rather than work anything out, they just ghost. I figure if someone is that rude and shallow, they did me a big favor.
You don't even have to argue. Just discuss. Maybe one of you will learn something new. You can always agree to disagree and move on. Why do people feel everything has to be their way? I do hope they grow out of it, but I have concerns. lol

dustybiker · Answer

This is such a good point.
I blame the tech era.
Modern tech is knee-jerk and cold. We might come to conclusions about a situation in one moment that four hours from now we might see completely differently. It makes us act in a split second, when in the past we stopped and thought first.
One weekend I shut my phone off for 48 solid hours. The people that offended… It was ridiculous.

loveslongnails · Answer

I don't get into "fights" with people - really. There are some topics that I just won't discuss. It hurts me to know where certain people I like may stand on a few subjects, but I can see lots of other goods things in them so I just don't engage certain discussions because I know they'll end badly.

es20490446e · Answer

One shall know when to rebate and when not. Rebating is good if the other person seems receptive, otherwise there's no purpose. Better to simply say "sorry, I don't feel that's the case".

worldscolide · Answer

I always try to work things out. Those that ghost are children, no more no less. You can blame this attitude that society has that relationships are disposible for that, and unfortunately this is an ideal that is pushed by some elements of feminism and the left.

t-8900 · Answer

After they try to emotionally manipulate me for 2+ weeks when i keep trying to give them a chance to do better... YES :D

noohair · Answer

A classical liberal education used to mean that people would respect that people could disagree and respect that the other person had a right to their opinion. The digital society has trained the human brain to think digitally. Love/Hate, Yes/No, Right/Wrong. I am right and that means that you are evil. It is tribal regression that politicians use use to divide and control. Welcome to the herd.

Anonymous · Answer

For me, I just don't think it's worth the time and energy to try and "change someone" by giving them feedback. Every time I had an issue with someone, most would get defensive and make excuses.

Shihab91 · Answer

Out of the way I'm invited go this question...
I think there are many reasons behind that technology is one of them, and people aren't tolerance they don't understand that there is the good and the bad in everyone.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Exactly. A tool has been created, and now so many (too many) fall back on it, and avoid the real work of communication. People don't resolve things as much now.  And people are not mind-readers.

Kiss_Me · Answer

People that Ghost or block people are weak, and deserve to treated as such.  Surround yourself with quality people at all times. Sometimes you just have to upgrade your friends.

Gramkabir · Answer

When there are causal approach to make friends and no deep conversation happened with friends then people started to ghost others if any dispute happened.
And Millennium kids (not everyone) are facing difficulty to manage friendship in these days.

KatherineJ · Answer

It just seems like no one is able to “agree to disagree” anymore. Everything is so personal now. It’s sad.

readyplayer001 · Answer

no. communication something people do not seem to do these days, its to the point people ghost in person thats how they deal with things, what kinda sh*t is that?

BareTruth · Answer

People just want you to agree with them with everything so that there’s nothing to disagree with. They don’t like to be called out for saying or doing something wrong and instead of being mature and fixing the mistake they become juvenile and throw a fit

DaveToo · Answer

The ONLY reason I block someone is when they become verbally abusive.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

They haven't, it's about the same, and most people aren't reasonable/rational. And the reason people fight/argue is they aren't mentally compatible. Walking away is honestly the best option in that situation.

Nightroads · Answer

Don't really get into disagreements much. Except face to face.

SecretsofKB · Answer

No. I definitely think its the easiest and cheapest way to end a fight. But isn't the only way to resolve it, so long as you have two mature individuals.

aquamarine321 · Answer

No, that only keep the tension and the anger alive the best way to work out a fight is to have an agreement and resolve the issue

SarahP080102 · Answer

No, but we as a society have forgotten how to have intelligent discussions when we disagree with someone else.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Because ladies with white hearts like you are from the past now or very rare these days...

Also the majority of people wants to just brawl and do not want to have any discussion to reach an agreement and sadly that's what is happening to the newly wedded couple, they just fight and bye bye!

The most important person whom you must always have a discussion with and forced to reach an agreement with, is your spouse! Cause a marriage is made to last forever 😌

b5fan · Answer

Communication is harder for men than women. Men want peace in their home most of all. Women want validation and sometimes fall into the trap of creating unnecessary conflicts. If a man only experiences unnecessary conflicts... they will move on to find peace. Men your age have learned this lesson and will put up with less bs...

dragoblack · Answer

It seems to be that way, doesn't really solve the issue, plus it closses yourself off & isolates you from a huge group of people if not everyone.

Vu5dccc · Answer

If you ate talking about men and women communicating... The best thing is often to ghost and block and forget the person as much as possible. Unless they are your spouse.

Because its an unequal power dynamic and complicated, when its a man and a woman. Its not like two females arguing or disagreeing. Do not conflate the two.

Rachel794 · Answer

There’s nothing wrong with blocking people. Have to pull out weeds if you want a beautiful, thriving garden.

Den1971 · Answer

You can try to have a conversation with people but you know people be stupid sometimes and if they get angry enough they're not listening so maybe give it some time then try to talk to him then after that fuck them

Titli1995 · Answer

Yes in the age of internet we can easily block or ghost someone but blocking is not the solution to deal anyone.

Charliefretz329 · Answer

I only block or in real life ignore belligerent obnoxious types.

PeterCharie1991 · Answer

Most arguments are played out over texting social media etc

OnTheLevel · Answer

Civil disagreements don't seem to happen much anymore. It used to be that diverse opinions were seen as a strength for a group of people. Now, diversity seems to include every aspect except thought and opinion.

HighValue · Answer

When talking with liberal people, there is no way to work out anything anymore. They ignore multiple sources of evidence and don't care how bad and immoral their actions are.

AydenHazor · Answer

It's absolutely possible to work things out, and even, on some matters, to disagree and still get along, but it seems we've lost the ability to argue well

Still-alive · Answer

if i know the person well enough i do, otherwise nahhh you gettin a block lol. don't got time for b. S. anymore :P

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Maybe for cowards or those that never really wanted the relationship in the first place.

Morgan_99 · Answer

I don’t think ghosting or blocking is the right way. Communication is the only way to work things out.

WalkintheReign · Answer

No of course not, but unfortunately, I’m noticing it’s the way many people handle things they may be uncomfortable confronting head on. Mostly talking of guys

tatianamay · Answer

I usually only block racists, weirdos, creeps, pervs, and verbally abusive people

Deserter · Answer

Some people aren't really worth the effort so I'd rather ghost/block them

Rangers · Answer

It's hilarious how you're asking that question when you call people racist for disagreeing with your ridiculous views on BLM and police

Juxtapose · Answer

I like it! It allows worthless people to easily remove themselves from my life and I am all for that.

Shamiah02 · Answer

I don't like this question, I'm blockin you cuhh😡

Is the only way to work out fights anymore to block or ghost people?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Ghosting: A cowardly way not to face confrontation or a reasonable way to avoid confrontation?

Is the only way to work out fights anymore to block or ghost people?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Ghosting: A cowardly way not to face confrontation or a reasonable way to avoid confrontation?

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