Is my uncle delusional?

[Anonymous]

He still has hopes his 30 year-old daughter (and only child) can change for the better. This is what my cousin did:
- She had a long-term affair with her lover for many years
- She has no remorse for cheating on her husband
- The guy is filing divorce after recently finding out their twin sons aren't his children
- She used to be a bully in HS and till this day has no remorse for it either
- A couple friends stopped talking to her because their bfs cheated with her
- She owes money to a couple people; has manipulated and scammed others
- She even once stole her father's money, etc

My uncle lost his wife (my aunt) after childbirth. He tried raising her, tried doing the best he could and she's still a manipulative, rotten person. Yet, he really thinks she can change for the better. She stole from him too. Is he delusional?

Updates

+1 y

He knows what she did in the marriage but he still doesn't like the soon to be ex-husband referring to her in bad names. He still can't stand anyone insulting his daughter, even if it's true. He still thinks she's going through a phase and can change. He even is currently blaming himself too.

[Anonymous]

Maybe in some ways he is delusional but she’s all he has. A parents love can be unconditional in a way that we on the outside will never understand until we have kids of our own. I know this isn’t every aspect of the story, as that would be incredibly lengthy since it’s probably years of shit. But it sounds like all she’s done directly to him is steal once and probably just been a bitchy, disrespectful and unappreciative daughter. Unfortunately some of the best, most supportive parents get cursed with children like this and it is a shame. But no matter what she does, he’s going to keep loving, supporting and wishing the best for her. That’s just what many parents do.

[Asker]

Yeah I don't have any child so you're right, I might not understand it yet. You're right about parental unconditional love. His own words once were ''there is nothing in the world she can do that'll make me abandon my love.''

[Opinion Owner]

Trust me I get where you’re coming from. I grew up with a cousin, sort of raised as siblings but we were each raised by a single parent and are an only child. All my life I have never ever seen anyone disrespect their parent the way that he does his mother. He’s cussed her out, threatened to keep her grandchildren from her, hangs up the phone in her face, never gifts her on holidays or Mother’s Day, has ran her car into the ground to where it was repoed bc he never paid for the damage like he said he would. The list goes on for years, yet she still supports him, still helps pay for whatever she can, still helps with his kids in every aspect and gets nothing but disrespect in return. I also have no children, so in a lot of ways I don’t understand how anyone can tolerate such treatment, even from their child. But I guess that unconditional love is just something we can’t grasp unless we are in the parents shoes.

[sensible27]

Well his assumption that people can change is true, his assumption that that change is easily influencable maybe, or inducable might be wrong unless he can actually talk to her and explain his perspective well enough that she agrees

[Asker]

He gives up on others if they don't change or improve within a certain period of time. With his daughter it's different. He said it myself that he'll never give up on her, no matter how long it takes.

[sensible27]

Well, his decision.. the probability doesn't seem zero that she wouldn't change

[Jamie05rhs]

Wow; poor guy. That's rough. His daughter is the only thing he has in his life, and she won't even respect her father enough to act right and not embarrass the family.
That's sad.

[Asker]

I agree. Sometimes he gets stuck (even looks at old photos and videos) in time to when his daughter was once an innocent smiling toddler, or a happy 5 year-old jumping in his arms saying ''I love you daddy''. He won't see her as a manipulative person like those she wrongs/scammed do. To him, she'll always be his baby no matter what.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yep. Some parents are like that. Willfully blind.