Do you think it's weird that I'm 16, single and still want to have a child? And actually go through the process of pregnancy, with all its good and bad sides?
Is it weird that what I want the most is to get pregnant although I'm 16?
Superb Opinion
Not at all. It is perfectly natural - evolutionary instincts at work.
Grant that you are a bit young, but human maturation rates - both physical and psychological - vary. It just so happens that you are a bit ahead of the curve.
As I say, evolution. Why do guys start wanting sex in their early teens?
Because the human male is programmed by evolution to spread his sperm to as many females as he can. His mind translates it as sexual desire, but in fact it his his instinct to impregnate as many females as possible. Thus perpetuating both the species and his DNA in competition with other males.
For women, it is a bit different. The human female can only - normally - bear one child at a time. Evolution has programmed you to give birth and raise your child, but that requires huge amounts of time energy. So you seek out the most fertile and dominant males - the ones most capable of finding food and protecting you from predators and rival males.
In your mind, this translates into getting pregnant. It is what evolution made you to do.
In fact, evolution plays something of a trick on the human male. Once he impregnates the female, changes in her body chemistry are picked up in his brain, It mellows him. It makes him want to stay around you and to protect you and his baby. Indeed, were it not for this biochemical/psychological process, your mate would just wander off to impregnate more females.
Of course, all of this is tendencies. Evolution influences us, but it does not - unlike with any other species - control us. You want to get pregnant - but that does not mean that you will find a man and get pregnant.
Of course, it can happen and your instincts can be powerful.
(For the record, I have gotten four women pregnant. My first had a miscarriage. One girl had an abortion without telling me - by far the saddest, most painful experience in my life. My live in girlfriend and I have three children and about two years ago I found out that I had a son with a woman I had once had a one night stand with. Suffice to say, I am the voice of experience in all this and all I can add is that I love and would give my life to protect my children and my girlfriend.)
That all noted, as I say, this is simply your instincts at work - and it so happens that your instincts are quite strong as the intensity of such instincts varies across the population. However, there is absolutely nothing abnormal about what you are feeling. You are just a normal human female experiencing the desires and drives of any human female.
The only thing I can add is that most of the time you will master your instincts and biological needs. However, as happened with me a few times, those instincts and needs can master you. When that happens, be grateful for the little miracle that will be given you and be responsible.
We all sometimes slip. The real trick is to handle such moments wisely and well.
Most Helpful Opinions
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You know what's really cool about the internet if anything it's that when you meet people you can start chatting about anything everything I know a lot of girls like you a lot are a lot older but it's like something is calling them
I have always said in life for me anyway I need to experience it to understand it so I come onto the internet to meet people to chat about anything everything and maybe they want to experience the same thing that I did so would you start chatting role-playing it out just so if you haven't thought of everything there's an opportunity to do it
And I hear you loud and clear I mean I would usually try to talk you out of this and I still might but I understand your point of view because here we are with covid-19 you can't really go out and function and have a life at least like I was able to so you're bored you want to stay home and have a child and I think that's a beautiful thing but there are the good in there are the bad that come with it and you need to be prepared for I can tell you all the pluses and all the minuses
Is there a reason behind this urge to have a baby? This wouldn't be a wise idea. No teen wants to hear this, but your just a kid yourself and have plenty of time to have a baby. You need to think about what having a baby would mean, what it will hinder you from doing and experiencing in your young years. Being a mother is the hardest job, more so single , especially a young single mother. I doubt your going to find a guy at your age that's going to jump at the chance to take in being a baby daddy. Remember once you have a child, there is no such thing as Me, and I want, I need are not longer a priority. Wait until your older.
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My sister wanted to get pregnant since about that age too. She wanted to be a mother since she was like 5 years. I convinced her to wait before having kids when she was 16. She's still with the same man. They got married and moved in together just last year. She's 19. She is now going to therapy and working on herself. She's glad she didn't have kids right then and is waiting. Because now she's working on herself and her relationship and can be a better mother when she's ready to provide emotionally and financially to her children.
So no it's not weird. Just wait though. NOBODY is ready at 16 to have a child.
What Girls & Guys Said
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86Opinion
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No, that is not weird at all, a lot of young girls want that experience.
There can be some complications with it though.
1) It is statistically devastating for a child not to have a father and contributes a high percentage to our prison population, even with a good mother in place.
2) Without a moral and legal commitment of some kind from the father, he could leave you high and dry without financial means to properly care for the child
3) More than not, although the mother unconditionally loves the child forever, their is a feeling in the future of the loss of some of the teenage years that could, and should, have been spend developing and maturing to a higher level prior to child rearing.
Best wishes!
- 308 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Babies having babies.
You are way to young for that.
Grow up, experience life for a while, finished your education.
You have plenty of time to have kids.
You have no idea how much your life will change.
You are not ready emotionally or financially to have a child.
Where will you live, how will you afford it, what about a car, food utilities, doctor and hospital costs.
There are just so many things that are hard raising kids, that even those that are ready and can afford it have trouble.
What will you do when you baby keeps you up all night either sick or teaching, you won't get any sleep, how will you function the next day.
Stuff like that is only the tip of the iceberg. -
It's not weird but you're very young. There are probably a lot of teen girls and women who feel like you. I'd wait until you're at least in your late 20's or early 30's to have a child. You should be financially stable to have a child because you don't want your child to live in poverty. I'm assuming you're in high school or if you're not in school then you're homeschooled. Do you even know what you want to do for a living? There are a lot of expenses that come with raising a child (like child support) that you should prepare yourself for. Raising children is a big responsibility.
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No. You should get married and have kids sooner rather than later. (Marriage IS a prerequisite, however. Single parenthood means the end of civilization).
Society is fucking upside down right now, and that's why they're telling you that it's weird to have kids so young. But your impulse is the most pure, natural, and righteous feeling a woman can have. That's why you feel the way you do.
Whatever you do, don't fall into the trap of hedonism and casual sex just because other people tell you that that's what everyone should do before they "find themselves" and become "ready to settle down." Hedonism is a pointless enough sin on its own, but pursuing someone else's idea of pleasure that you're not even inclined to is so much worse. -
It’s scarily a common thought that girls, women have.
I would hazard a guess in your case it’s your bodies hormones over coming your brains judgement making side of things.
when I was at school girls started getting pregnant from 14 and by 16 quite a few were pregnant.
it’s definitely something you need to have your brain take control off and make sure you don’t think with your hormones.
your hormones and body do not really care if you are dating, single, married etc, which is why it’s important to keep a firm grip on your hormones. -
Not weird, I'd call it stupid, you don't know what you are talking about cause you are still just a kid. You won't be able to go anywhere, long out with people, gonna loose sleep, either miss work or have to pay for daycare, mess up your ability to get a good paying job cause you probably skip college and it will be hard to join a trade.
Being a mom is a full time job, no one is required to help you, you can't just dump the kid at your parents all the time, ypu have to watch and raise it.
Don't get pregnant at 16, wait till you have your live more sorted out. - 424 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
No not really but you should still hold that thought until your through school. And have something to build a life on. You need to think what best for your future child, not just the urge to have one. If a woman wants kids she can always get them, if she acts when her body remains fertile. So don't rush it. Don't expect any guys your age to be ready for commitment or parenthood. So whoever you pick will be suboptimal choice. You need to wait 2-4 years to get your life together. Picking the father of your children is the most important choice of your life. I don't think your ready to make that choice yet and not live to regret your choice.
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Your desire to reproduce is innate and honorable PROVIDING you machinate all the necessary supporting structure. DO NOT WAIL: "Poor ME, I AM with child... feed me, ... support me, ... fund my reproduction." This child's 'Sire' who has selfishly 'boned' me then ran away, abandoning HIS obligation, thinking only with HIS libido is irresponsible and owns no contributing resources beyond his hard-on.
I want to own a living child doll. I DID NOT consider this EIGHTEEN YEAR intimate commitment to a life MORE IMORTANT THAN MY OWN... to the personal sacrifices THIS career choice would cost.
I envision this child, ... MY child... as a 'meal ticket' ... MY 'cash cow' and my community's unbidden burden. To feed, to educate and clothe and, to 'parent' by proxy.~ I would choose to deem myself as but a 'brood mare'.~ - 1.4K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Not weird your just having baby fever. I've never had baby fever but I did get pregnant at 17 and I'm very happy that I made that stupid choice to do so and have my son. It's a lot of responsibility but is manageable if you truly want that. People that haven't experienced it will not understand that teen pregnancy isn't such a bad thing. Not that I'm saying for you to go get pregnant since it can be difficult. Just saying that it isn't such a bad thing if that's what you really want out of your life.
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Why dont you learn about what men want? see how they view singlw mothers, consider where you will be in 10, 20, 30 years. Trust me you will not be young forever and you won't be stay at home forever. You'll be working a shitty job in fast food or something to pay bills you'll never catch up to. You'll work double shifts to keep a roof over your head and barely have time for your kid. Or you'll be a welfare leech or leech off your parents aka a perpetual child and burden to everyone around you. Your kid will end up with no dad, weaker for it. He is also statistically much more likely to become a criminal, do drugs, and even become a victim of rape and/or ravaged by mental illness and emotional trauma. Stop thinking about yourself and think about what you're doing to others.
- 711 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
It's not weird that you have the cravings. It WOULD be weird if at 16, if you totally grasped what you'd be in for once you have the kid.
You'd be giving up possibly the greatest years of your life to be a teen mommy. You don't realize it now, but your HS and college days will change your life in so many ways. I look back and miss them like crazy. But so too will a baby change your life and fill it with responsibilities and hardships. Yes, they will love you, but that comes later.
My advice is to think long and hard about letting your desire become a reality at your age. -
Please wait the best time of your life hasn't even came yet. Babies need both parents together living a stable life and financially secure.
Your 20's will be some of the best memories you will always remember. Your only 16 your not even an adult yet.
You need to think about everyone that will be impacted by a baby, your parents will Play a huge part in your baby life and they probably aren't ready for that. Also the babies Daddy his family will be impacted as well.
It could cause issues between your family and his family and that's not a good environment for anyone to be in with a new baby.
You need to finish school and focus on yourself there is plenty of time to have a baby when the time is right. -
Of you talk in general sense people earlier used to have kids by 16 i am not saying it as a good or bad thing but it was once very common.
Women girls are capable of it and produced healthy off springs physically.
But when it becomes the norm it be omes and expectation and society makes it in such a way that it becomes a rule it's all fucked up.
So it's better to have a baby like 4 years from now or best at 22.
BC you would have the wisdom and maturity to handle things.
You are a kid enjoy while it lasts. -
tbh, i kinda think that way too, because i love my S. O and i want to have kids with him and I just keep fantasising and wanting that to happen someday, if not then ig in heaven
but i do understand I'm not strong enough rn to have a child, also have school and college and studies so its just gonna be hard to maintain - 509 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
It's better for you to use your brain instead of your feelings & hormones. Of course it's easy to get pregnant... it's a lot harder to do well in school, learn a trade or have self-control.
Also studies have found that if your mom or sister had a baby young then you're 5 times more likely to also. -
No, people around our age like to nurture and think they can do things themselves because they think they're "grown". However, it's not the best decision considering you really can't decide to get rid of a child if you get tired of it. Just live your younger years without a child. There's plenty of time later to get one.
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I understand the desire, as your body changes you want that. Especially if you have always wanted to be a mother. The best thing you can do though is be prepared, not just physically, but emotionally and most importantly, financially.
Otherwise that child will not have the best life.
So it is not weird that you want it, but it would be terrible if you went and did that before being fully prepared. - 360 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
You are possibly mentally unhinged to want to get pregnant at 16 so you can ruin your life. What can your reasons possibly be? To be a single mother, have no job as it will cost you more for child care than you will make, have no boyfriend, to not graduate, be on welfare and live in a dingy rat hole apartment? I've definitely want to hear your take on this weird obsession you have.
- 3.6K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
It's not weird, you have a baby fever which means, you will make a good mommy
just watch the guy, these guys nowadays don't want to stick with the girl, I knew
some guy got a girl pregnant, he was age 29 and she was age 15, he knew
what the birds and bees were about. -
Don’t do it, focus on school. Trust me. Having a baby isn’t a walk in the park, your life goes on hold, take it as a faze and don’t act on it, unless your ready for all of your money to go, all your time to go, you have a whole life to have a child. Wait, get your education & you’ll be better off, TRUST me!
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