When calmly talking no longer worked, did your parents go into whisper mode or yelling?

Question

This isn’t about spanking. Thats next level. My mom would yell and whisper. The whisper thing was more common when I was younger. She’d whisper a threat and I’d straighten up real quick. I hated the yelling because i often talked low a lot as a kid so she could easily overpower me.
Now a day, she’d yell just to try to win the argument but I’d still get my tone across in a more calming voice. Now if I’m in an argument with a dude I’m in a relationship with, I will talk calmly to a fault. If he tries to interrupt, then I’ll just fcking scream my point across. It just is what it is.

When calmly talking no longer worked, did your parents go into whisper mode or yelling?

#FeelFreeToList #KickinAndScreaming

Satyromaniac · Accepted Answer

My dad always passed sarcastic comments, he always had control on his anger and rage, I only remember once or twice in my whole life that he hit me for disobedience.

My mom was the opposite, she'd yell, scream, shout, and beat/hit/spank me and my siblings up until her anger subsided, and then later the same day we would all be hugged, apologized to, explained the reason for her anger in whispers.

Me being the eldest got beaten up most of all us kids, probably the reason why I became a calm, considerate, polite, very less strict educator/teacher whom all of my students respect and love.

While I'm with my kids, I always remember what I went through as a kid, and instantly calm myself down if I'm angry or unhappy at their actions/disobedience/ naughtiness and instead instruct them softly/mildly about what they did or are doing wrong.

I guess being beaten up a lot in my childhood made me a violent teenager who hated bullies, from high school until graduation I used to get in fights and kick ass of any bully I used to cross paths with.

After my mid twenties I suddenly changed from an always angry person to a very soft spoken, polite, humble and kind man who hates violence and always tries to break up fights and believes in peaceful solutions.

I guess watching me change my behaviour had a positive impact on my parents and siblings, because now my dad is less sarcastic and more understanding, and my mother rarely throws fits of anger and is always calm and smiling; and my siblings rarely get into arguments or fights with anyone at all.

strawhatEli · Accepted Answer

From where I come, bass of most people is quite high. Even when we're talking it seems like we are fighting and shouting at each other. It's like Howard and his mother talking in Big Bang Theory, the only difference being we aren't actually yelling.
So just imagine how high we would sound when we are actually yelling. So even when one of my parents were angry they tried to keep their voice as low as possible cause, if they had shouted, everyone in next seven blocks would know I've done something wrong 😂😂

ChiTown33 · Answer

My dad was 6'5" and a cop for 33 years. He had a authoritative voice that scared all my friends lol. He didn't need to yell. You didn't want to challenge my dad. Lol

I remember once a guy was resisting arrest. And after struggling with the guy for a bit. He stopped and told the guy. " OK, you want to fight? I'm going to oblige you. I'm going to take the handcuffs off you and you and I are going to settle this with our fists. But in the end you'll lose. Because I'm going to beat you. And do you know how I know that? Because if I don't I'm going to take out my gun and shoot you. After that the guy didn't want to fight and settled right down. I'm amazed my dad stayed a cop for 33 years. Lol But seriously if you knew my dad you also knew he'd never have done that. He was actually the oldest living boyscout.

NathanDavis · Answer

funny... my mother would just *sigh* shake hear head in frustration and no more talking, she would just walk away

and then it was up to me if I kept pushing it further... and way more often than not, I wouldn't, because it was no longer a talk nor a negotiation... lol

and now I do similar as an adult... I've never ever had the need to yell or shout while arguing during discussions in my relationships

AviatorTom · Answer

When calm talking didn't work, my Mom yelled... my Dad talked very quietly. It was easy for my sister and me to know how mad Mom was, but we were never sure with Dad. That's the beauty of talking quietly, which I used on my own kids as they were growing up.

TrueConfection · Answer

Neither. As a parent, I've used the whisper method to get my kids to listen harder to what I'm saying. I did go screaming ballistic once on one of my kids. I was so mad that I was crying while yelling.

alice55 · Answer

My father threatened to hit me and my mother slapped me (so hard that 9 time out of 10 i fell to the floor and most of the time bleeding). She slapped or kicked me first then yelled at me after

dustybiker · Answer

What you think a person is thinking is always worse than knowing. If you can’t argue without someone you haven’t been given control over them. Cool, calm, collected has power.

Gigi2019 · Answer

My mom just had to give me and my siblings "the look" and we'd straighten up. Different generation of parenting.

melanieeeB · Answer

Hahaha calmly talking? What's that...  My mom would scream, insult or just straight up ignore me for days

Valso · Answer

When I was young my mother tried with yelling a few times, then with threats and eventually with extortion. But neither worked ever bc I was still doing what I wanted. Which was usually the opposite of what she wanted. :D

Dargil · Answer

Deep sarcasm. My mother disliked the second born (me) and my father only "gave" my mother children to appease her. Child abuse takes many forms.

Cherry234 · Answer

My parents never whispered. Talking calmly isn't a thing with my dad. He always yells.

Agape93 · Answer

Yelling a bit but mostly shaming, insults and neglect. Depends on what I supposedly did wrong.

Blonde401 · Answer

Mine yelled and physically lashed out. I would have loved whispering over a broken nose.

spartan55 · Answer

I used to get the Spartan Dad glare which normally was more than, effective.

RobT312 · Answer

Haha. Yeah they are/ were more of the yelling type. i think we are a family of yellers.

SmokyOne · Answer

My patents were both yellers. I'm typically a quiet person so between upbringing and nature I'm a bipolar combination of yelling and whispering. Like alternating between points and levels of anger

Apple1996 · Answer

I stayed on my parents good side so never had them yell or whisper

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

First yelling, then calm down and then consider me as a hopeless case, so leaving me alone.

talka20 · Answer

They went both ways... and also sometimes its like first loud then coming to whisper

kellytheman · Answer

My mom had only one mode if she was mad any they was yelling same with dad. I myself I am calm and never yell if I am mad which is rare.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Mine yelled. It's one of the reasons I'm not married yet, because I'm so serious about picking the right spouse.

the_sinner · Answer

Firstly yelling followed by whispering. Both of which are heartbreaking.

MrtoddsWildRide · Answer

My Dad was a drill instructor so...

TallAnon · Answer

Depends if we were in public

exitseven · Answer

They used to scream.

Anpu23 · Answer

My mom yelled...

jahaims · Answer

Would just beat me

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