This isn’t about spanking. Thats next level. My mom would yell and whisper. The whisper thing was more common when I was younger. She’d whisper a threat and I’d straighten up real quick. I hated the yelling because i often talked low a lot as a kid so she could easily overpower me. Now a day, she’d yell just to try to win the argument but I’d still get my tone across in a more calming voice. Now if I’m in an argument with a dude I’m in a relationship with, I will talk calmly to a fault. If he tries to interrupt, then I’ll just fcking scream my point across. It just is what it is.
My dad always passed sarcastic comments, he always had control on his anger and rage, I only remember once or twice in my whole life that he hit me for disobedience.
My mom was the opposite, she'd yell, scream, shout, and beat/hit/spank me and my siblings up until her anger subsided, and then later the same day we would all be hugged, apologized to, explained the reason for her anger in whispers.
Me being the eldest got beaten up most of all us kids, probably the reason why I became a calm, considerate, polite, very less strict educator/teacher whom all of my students respect and love.
While I'm with my kids, I always remember what I went through as a kid, and instantly calm myself down if I'm angry or unhappy at their actions/disobedience/ naughtiness and instead instruct them softly/mildly about what they did or are doing wrong.
I guess being beaten up a lot in my childhood made me a violent teenager who hated bullies, from high school until graduation I used to get in fights and kick ass of any bully I used to cross paths with.
After my mid twenties I suddenly changed from an always angry person to a very soft spoken, polite, humble and kind man who hates violence and always tries to break up fights and believes in peaceful solutions.
I guess watching me change my behaviour had a positive impact on my parents and siblings, because now my dad is less sarcastic and more understanding, and my mother rarely throws fits of anger and is always calm and smiling; and my siblings rarely get into arguments or fights with anyone at all.
@DizzyDesii yeah, I hate sarcasm so much it proves to be a turn off even if I listen to sarcasm on standupshows/TV/entertainment/movies... And it kind of felt stupid or silly to repeat my own childhood all over again when I have become a parent, no matter how bad a childhood I had, If I have been given power to create, I will use it wisely and shape both my sons into exemplary human beings who have the highest moral values on earth. I believe situations should be dealt with optimistic approach and minimum negative impact to all parties involved, if my parents terrorised me doesn't mean they wished ill for me, they just weren't good at raising kids, and they did the best they could. If I become a better child to my parents and the best dad to my kids, means my life is a success and I can die peacefully happy and satisfied, not a bad deal or bad way to live life, right?
From where I come, bass of most people is quite high. Even when we're talking it seems like we are fighting and shouting at each other. It's like Howard and his mother talking in Big Bang Theory, the only difference being we aren't actually yelling. So just imagine how high we would sound when we are actually yelling. So even when one of my parents were angry they tried to keep their voice as low as possible cause, if they had shouted, everyone in next seven blocks would know I've done something wrong 😂😂
My dad was 6'5" and a cop for 33 years. He had a authoritative voice that scared all my friends lol. He didn't need to yell. You didn't want to challenge my dad. Lol
I remember once a guy was resisting arrest. And after struggling with the guy for a bit. He stopped and told the guy. " OK, you want to fight? I'm going to oblige you. I'm going to take the handcuffs off you and you and I are going to settle this with our fists. But in the end you'll lose. Because I'm going to beat you. And do you know how I know that? Because if I don't I'm going to take out my gun and shoot you. After that the guy didn't want to fight and settled right down. I'm amazed my dad stayed a cop for 33 years. Lol But seriously if you knew my dad you also knew he'd never have done that. He was actually the oldest living boyscout.
funny... my mother would just *sigh* shake hear head in frustration and no more talking, she would just walk away
and then it was up to me if I kept pushing it further... and way more often than not, I wouldn't, because it was no longer a talk nor a negotiation... lol
and now I do similar as an adult... I've never ever had the need to yell or shout while arguing during discussions in my relationships
When calm talking didn't work, my Mom yelled... my Dad talked very quietly. It was easy for my sister and me to know how mad Mom was, but we were never sure with Dad. That's the beauty of talking quietly, which I used on my own kids as they were growing up.
Neither. As a parent, I've used the whisper method to get my kids to listen harder to what I'm saying. I did go screaming ballistic once on one of my kids. I was so mad that I was crying while yelling.
They've never seen me so angry that I yelled at that level. Actually, I've never seen myself that crazy. Needless to say, there has never been a repeat. 💀
Never physical. But once my father put his fist in my face at age 17. At the time, I was 6'0/180 pounds, bench pressed 200 lb and ran the 100Y dash near 10 seconds. I just gave him the Clint Eastwood glare and asked him: "Do you REALLY want to do that? He just walked away.
What you think a person is thinking is always worse than knowing. If you can’t argue without someone you haven’t been given control over them. Cool, calm, collected has power.
My father threatened to hit me and my mother slapped me (so hard that 9 time out of 10 i fell to the floor and most of the time bleeding). She slapped or kicked me first then yelled at me after
My father was good cause he never actually hit me (I remember him hitting me only one time) but my mother did it a lot (she did it everyday when my father was working away and only comeback the weekend).
She was and is a sweetheart. A real lady. She told us that she always wanted to be proud of us and that we were never to do anything to embarrass her or ourselves in public or to disrespect her. We all loved her to bits and really wanted her to be proud of us so none of us would dare do anything to disappoint her. It was all about the love.
When I was young my mother tried with yelling a few times, then with threats and eventually with extortion. But neither worked ever bc I was still doing what I wanted. Which was usually the opposite of what she wanted. :D
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I guess in their mind yelling gets the job done. They would rather have the argument , solve the problem, and move on kind of parents... no grudges or pent up frustration. Just solve the issue ASAP.
My patents were both yellers. I'm typically a quiet person so between upbringing and nature I'm a bipolar combination of yelling and whispering. Like alternating between points and levels of anger
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