People that have narcissist parents did you ever get into fights as a teenager?

[Alwayreckles93]

I am back I just needed a break as few of my friends didn't wanted me to delete my account so I stay. I read a topic about kids being raised with a narcissist parents. I was raised by a narcissist parent I was always getting into fights with other girls back in highschool not that I am proud of it now a feel shame I think why did I allowed anger get to me. Anyway so I heard kids that grow up with narcissist parents they always get into fights.

[TrueConfection]

Funny that you bring this up. My parents are both text book narcissists. You can imagine how that marriage was and how that divorce played out. Anyhow, I have tried so hard to forgive and let the past go and not being anything up. One of them contacted me today with an episode and I'm feeling pretty depressed. 🙃

[Alwayreckles93]

Im sorry, I can relate it's like you are having a happy fun time. Once the narcissist calls you it's like no fun. I must say you deserve a fun me time like going to the movies or plan a day at the beach ⛱️🏖️. What I do I go on YouTube put relaxing calming meditation music.

[TrueConfection]

Thanks. I think I'm going to cut ties at this point. Any attempt at a healthy relationship seems futile.

[Exterminatore]

That must have been an interesting marriage. Two people hell bent on exploiting the other all while they think they’re better than the other person.

@true

I’d encourage you to probably cut ties. These people are so toxic to be around or deal with even a little. They will never change. Best to just leave them be in their own demented world.

[TrueConfection]

@Exterminatore I think you're right. My husband has tried to tell me for the last 21 years, but I was too optimistic and refused to give up completely. Poor guy now has a sad wife on his hands. I'm trying not to dump this on him.

[Alwayreckles93]

TrueConfections Some people are not going to agree with met opinion but I believe it is best to cut them off. My therapist eve suggested for the best of your own mental health. It's not your fault. It is hard to forget people always say oh that was in the past for get about it. But I live it it is hard it is now taking years of therapy. I must say your a survivor my respects for you.

[TrueConfection]

@Alwayreckles93 Thanks. It's not easy to cut family ties, but sometimes it's for the best. I should have listened to my husband!

[Exterminatore]

@true

It is difficult to choose never to talk to one or both of your parents again. It’s not a choice that should be made lightly. I understand your feelings.

All I know is narcissists never stop. They always must continue to exploit others, lie and manipulate, attempt to belittle others and put them down, shame others and continually think their better than everyone else and thus deserve special treatment.

You’ll never reason with them and they’ll never change.

So I think one has to weigh out how toxic is the behavior and how much is it affecting me vs is there any way I can keep them at a distance and minimize their abuse.

I put narcissistic people out of my life permanently. I’m very scared from having both parents and an ex wife (who was either a narcissist or sociopath, not sure which). 0 tolerance. I don’t allow toxicity in my life in any capacity. I cut it out like cancer and move on.

[TrueConfection]

@Exterminatore Yes, the exploitation is what really gets under my skin the most. This time my own child was being used and manipulated and that just crossed the line with me. I'm very protective of my kids. I don't care if someone wants to hurt me, but using my kids is the fastest way to be cut out of my life.

[TrueConfection]

@Exterminatore You're right, just like my husband is right. Narcissists never stop, they only pretend and manipulate.

[Alwayreckles93]

TrueConfections I understand and yes it is hard you get so use to feeling guilty.
It took me years as well to even realize how selfless we can be. Mormon and Amish parents always disown their kids when they decide to live the community. The funny thing is that people will always be on the parents side and not the daughter or son's sid of the story. From my own experience I let so many life opportunities to raised my younger siblings and take care of the home. I neglect my needs and put my mom's priorities first before me. That's the mistake I made. When my ex husband cheated on me what did I from my mom a kick in the ass never lifted a finger to help me in my worst moments. I learn my lesson to never neglect your well being for someone else. No don't feel guilty your well being is what matters the most. I cut my mom off completely permanently.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

My mom is selfish but wouldn't say narcissist, and yes I had a lot of fighting experiences growing up.

My mom taught me if someone hit you, then hit them back. 😏

[Alwayreckles93]

Selfish you mean as in not allowing you eat candy lol

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No. Lol... selfish as with time. Me and her are alike in that manner. She won't give other people including her kids time at least not consistently.

[Alwayreckles93]

Oh okay I see

[Exterminatore]

Yes. For me it was that I was getting enough grief at home where I had no choice but to take it. I damn sure wasn’t putting up with anyone else’s crap.

[Alwayreckles93]

Did school counselors or teachers ever bother to ask you or at least tried to be more understanding?

[Exterminatore]

Not really. Most of the time the fight would take place outside school. If I remember right I only got into 2 fights on school property. Fights in school never lasted too long. Just a few punches and quickly broken up. Then there will be either detention or suspension afterwards.

So, almost always the local park or some other location was chosen and the fight would happen outside school instead.

I did flip one kid over in his desk once right in the middle of class. He kept ramming his desk into the back of my chair. I told him to cool it. When he did it again I just stood up, grabbed his desk and flipped it with him in it.

He never did that again.

[Alwayreckles93]

Oh my goodness that is so funny 😂 I literally just burst out laugh almost spilling my coffee about you flipping the kid over his desk. Did the other kids laugh when it happened?

[Alwayreckles93]

Was he like scare of you after the whole desk flipping happened? I'm still laughing really hard lol I wish you could have recorded it.

[Exterminatore]

No one laughed, they were all shocked.

Let’s just say it sent enough of an impression that he didn’t do it again…. all through the rest of high school.

Glad you got a laugh out of it!

[Alwayreckles93]

I apologise if I'm am asking to many question I just find it hilarious lol Did the kid fly across the room or ended up bumping into some else?

[Exterminatore]

I don’t mind your questions.

I grabbed the front of his desk and literally tried to make him flip upright and backwards. When the desk got to about a 180 degree angle it tipped on its legs and fell sideways.

I just stood over him looking at him and said: “still want to bump into the back of my desk?” He didn’t say anything and I let him get up and that was that.

Another time in computer lab a girl who lived down the street from me kept talking crap to me. I’d asked a girl to the homecoming dance and got shot down so she was picking on me. I asked her to stop 3 times. 3 strikes you’re out. I grabbed her book bag, and books and notebooks and papers and launched them out the window. We were on the second floor too. And it was windy. And that was the last time she messed with me.

Bear in mind I’m not condoning my behavior in either case. I’m just answering the question. As adult I can look back and see I should have handled it differently. At that time in my life I had no issue at all making an example out of someone. I’m pretty simple. If I tell you “do it again, and I’ll kick your ass” guess what? I really will kick your ass if you do it again. I mean what I say. As I see it, I gave fair warning. If that warning wasn’t heeded, well, you get what you get. When one hears the rattle snake it’s a warning. It means back off or get stacked. Same thing. Today I would not handle things in this way but at that time that’s how I was.

[Alwayreckles93]

I hope she didn't had any test during that week. I must admit I do find kinda funny lol. I can't imagine what she had to do to get her homework done that day or study for a test. Sir you would be upset and disappointed at me if I told you the things I did during my highschool years. Those kids did learn a lesson.

[Exterminatore]

It’s as they say “youth is the teacher of fools.” Hopefully one lives and learns. Some don’t and do the same things over and over.

[Alwayreckles93]

Well it wasn't your fault as you said stop and it means stop , You we're a child at that time. I have learn kids think with emotions. Every person has done things while they're upset.

[OlderAndWiser]

My father was a low IQ narcissist. I didn't have many fights beyond elementary school.

[Waldoe]

all kids fight... has nothing to do with the parents

[flirtatiousgirl]

Nope it's not true