How would you describe losing a child?

I've been saved 3 times as a toddler.
- I let go of my mother's hands once and ran into the streets. My mother was screaming in horror, the car stopped in the nick of time and the male driver reprimanded my mother harshly, called her stupid, etc.
- I was climbing a window and would've jumped. My mother silently and in desperation grabbed me by the hair.
- I was 8-10 months and jumping on my crib too much. All of the sudden I was falling facedown and my father grabbed me before hitting the floor. Fast reaction/reflex on his part indeed.

I got saved as an adult in 2019:
The doctors found out where I was losing blood. They extracted a benign stomach tumor. Had it not been for advance medicine and another endoscopy from other doctor (as 2nd opinion), I would've passed out of internal bleeding.

I can't imagine the horror if my parents had lost me either as a baby (if my father didn't catch me and I smash my head on that hard floor) toddler (if the car ran over me or I fell from the window) or in as an adult (if the cause wasn't found and I bled to death). How would you describe losing a child?
How would you describe losing a child?
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