Do you agree that we should allow kids to do dangerous things as long as they are doing them carefully?

Question

Basically the idea is that kids won't learn if they are constantly getting help. They need to find out on their own how to navigate something dangerous.

(of course someone would be near by in case of an accident)

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I agree 100%.
There used to be playgrounds with metal merry-go-rounds, swings and jungle gyms. But, over the years, the ever so vigilant safety nazi activists removed most of the stuff, installed "safe" swings, and replaced grass and sand with rubber pads.

Kids like to challenge themselves and experiment with pushing their boundaries.
My friends and I used to dig trench forts in a big field and have dirt clod fights. We played in the woods and built tree houses. We rode our bikes all over the place without supervision.

I remember a place on the ocean where there were really big rip rap rocks to prevent erosion. As a kid as young as 5 or 8 years old, I would hop around on those rocks like a fearless mountain goat trying to catch rock crabs. My mom would continually tell me to be careful, but my dad would say "Aw, he's alright", all the while keeping an eye on me from a distance.
I might have slipped a couple times but didn't get badly injured. But I learned about my own abilities limitations by being active.

We used to run around the neighborhood playing army with realistic toy guns, walk on fences and climb on garage roofs. Nobody ever thought we were active shooters and none of us ever got shot or even hassled by cops.

There are lots of other examples.

A while back, it got to the point in some places where kids weren't even allowed to walk to school or go to the park unsupervised. People would call the cops on unsupervised kids, even when they were in their own front yard. Child Protective Services (an ironic name) would threaten parents whose kids were (gasp!) outside alone.

I actually despise safety nazis and people who live in fear. They act like benevolent prison guards but are poor role models. They are responsible for generations of fat, frightened, dependent, privileged weaklings. They have a right to raise dysfunctional kids, but they insist on "protecting" everyone's kids through insane public policy and legislation. They LOVE authoritarianism and obedient subjects. They place no value on liberty, freedom, independence, initiative, or self determination.

I'm not saying that safety is intrinsically bad, as long as it isn't taken to an extreme. I'm not saying that kids don't need ANY supervision, although what they need more is advice and good role models. Adults should mainly be there if they are needed.

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

Yes.

As long as they are controlled and not overly scary for their age, yes. It is important for them to learn to do things in life and also learn potential dangers about them. At some point, they have to learn to cross the street after checking if it is safe to do so, without having to hold their hands.

I remember my dad hiding himself and keeping an eye out for me from a distance whe were in a store, trying to see how I would react and if I can find my way back home whenever I couldn't find him.

We can't forever hold their hands and protect them from the world. They must do so on their own. We should only give them the tools and proper guidance before exposing them to anything "dangerous".

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

Sure, dangerous is relative of course.

Someone might say riding a bike is dangerous... or even walking or running.

I am definitely not even close to Gen X but this song I thought was funny for rural America.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/IlwA6xuYwLU

Except modern changes, like tiktok and snap rather than choregraph in the basement and instead of kicking the can, go wandering in the forest alone... or riding a ATV or horse 30 miles into the next town (alone) to visit a friend.

Extremely spotty cell phone service, they were portable phones that worked best on wifi at home or at a friends we hang out at.

Totally have done the rope swing thing into disgusting rivers, and not always wearing clothing like him.

Still play games, just online games together... rather than arcades.

I fit the part about, we'll be home when we feel like it. Walk or bike at night, fits me too... and the whole three cars we got going by an hour, was rush hour.

Hell, I was driving a forklift at 11 or 12... and tractors, without adult supervision. Learned to ride ATV's and shoot guns at 8, with adult supervision. By 12 or 13 was basically an adult.

SO yeah, I learned WAY faster than my peers in the city who had no clue how to do a lot of things as adults, because they were over protected.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

Yeah.

Teaching kids of an appropriate age (e. g. don't give a sharp knife to a toddler with no motor control) how to handle somewhat unsafe tasks as safely as they can is good.

Parents will never be able to fully protect their child. The best thing parents can do is educate and teach their children how to be as safe as they can, and how to know when to refuse something unsafe.

Children - humans, really, it doesn't stop at childhood - need to learn. Protection often looks like stopping learning in favour of "being safe". That ends up making ignorance more valuable than experience.

MuddyMole · Answer

I've worked as an outdoor instructor for many years, supervising groups of people (both children and adults) in potentially very dangerous activities. It's essentially my job to pitch the activity at a level such that:
A - risk is kept to an appropriate level,
B - the participants enjoy the experience,
C - the participants come away from it having gained skills, confidence, knowledge, and a feeling of achievement, etc.

Note that I say risk is kept to an "appropriate" level - I'm not trying to completely eliminate the risk, but to just keep it at the minimal level necessary to achieve the other two goals. For a lot of people - especially children and inexperienced adults, that can be a very low level of risk. For others, a little more challenge and risk might be needed - and things can, and occasionally do, go wrong.
As a rule, if I'm finding a session at all challenging (perhaps due to rough weather), the other participants are almost certainly going to be too terrified to enjoy the experience, and are perhaps even being put at unnecessary risk (though they'll be buzzing at the end of it!). I've worked for companies that offer rock climbing sessions on sea cliffs, and the sites they use are the kind of cliffs I used to scamper up in my wellies as a kid (no ropes, obviously) - but for the average person who didn't grow up in that environment, it's still very challenging and scary.

I wouldn't set someone up to fail (ie. have them attempt something with no chance of success), or put them in a situation where the consequences of failing are too severe - but there generally does need to be the possibility of failure (or at least the illusion of it) in order for people to get that feeling of achievement when they succeed. And of course, I'm there to offer help and guidance.

If they want to do something which is obviously a bad idea, I'm not going to allow that, but I might talk them through a kind of risk assessment. What sort of things might potentially go wrong? What might the consequences of that be? How could we mitigate those risks? What else could we do instead?

Of course, the average parent is not going to have the same level of expertise - they're not going to be as aware of the risks, or as capable of handling a situation that does go wrong, so will probably need to keep risk a little lower - but I still think they should be taking the same general approach to supervising their children's activities. Admittedly, it's not the easiest balance in the world to strike, which I guess is why people like me still have a job...

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yeah you have to let children learn but do it in a sort of controlled manner, where they are not aware there is some restrictions.

A lot of it helps with confidence, the importance of making decisions, learning to think quickly.

if parents do not let their children be exposed to real life stuff while young, then at 18 and they leave home, they are on their own with zero experience of a lot of things.

Growing up in Newcastle (inner city) we did things as kids that with hindsight were fucking stupid and dangerous but shit loads of fun, we had zero adult interference, well apart from the police or security when we did something naughty.

What we do as parents is yes have the danger there for our kids but we assess the risks and reduce the amount of danger, it still has that adrenaline and ‘fear’ but we have removed some of the major risks. For example we let them build a rope swing, but we bags first go, it means we weight test it and can check it over subtly.

letting them camp out overnight in forest, we make sure the right bit of forest is used. My daughter is doing this type of thing, it’s fairly dangerous but controlled. There is also rock climbing, abseiling, sea kayaking etc.

kids must be given the chance to develop into young adults and young adults in to adults.

oh and I would add in dating to the mix, it’s a dangerous world out there.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/1OHceHs3i6U

RedThread · Answer

I really don't know. I think back on all the stupid things I did as a kid because I had the freedom to navigate the entire neighborhood on my own. I had no sense of my own mortality back then. Sure I lived in the middle of nowhere but still. We would make homemade flamethrowers out of water guns, crazy jumps for our bikes, try to swim across a local lake without getting tired and drowning, and much much more. Just dumb ass shit. I can't even count the amount of times I could've died just being straight stupid. We were little neighborhood menaces especially on Halloween which I don't even want to get into. Yes, we went trick or treating on our own without parents. Maybe that's just rural country upbringing I don't know.

We would play dare or dare instead of truth or dare and that got very sketchy too. One of the most painful ones were when we dared each other to shoot each other in genitals with paintball guns. The more tame ones were to dare each other to run around the block naked which we got in crazy trouble for.

The stuff we did was crazy and if/when I ever decide to have a kid I'd definitely keep more of an eye on my kids. I feel like my generation had too much childhood freedom. Hopefully kids are raised more health conscious these days or at least aware of their limitations.

It's a miracle I grew up in one piece. One of the local kids blew off a couple fingers with firecrackers. That could've easily been me too.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

Did you just say “do dangerous things, but do these DANGEROUS things carefully.”

No, I don’t think so.

There’s plenty of lessons from people who have done these things already for my kids to learn from

Hence the word “wisdom”

I guess the statement

“The biggest issue about history is that we don’t learn from it.”

Is true

How about this?

Have the wisdom to NOT do dangerous things from the beginning because they are dangerous.

I’m not talking about stuff like basketball, where you can sprain an ankle on the court or dirt biking where you can hit something and possibly crash and hurt yourself.

I’m talking about playing hopscotch on rocks just above the surface of a body of water, possibly slip and crack your head on one of these rocks, go unconscious, and drown in the water if you don’t die from the fractured skull already.

Pinay_ako · Answer

You can never be too careful because kids will be kids! When we were growing up in the 80s and the 90s, we had no babysitter except ourselves while our parents went to work! I got hit and ran by a tricycle while trying to cross the street and fell down the stairs while playing superhero’s 😂. Or went swimming in the river alone and luckily nobody drowned. Our parents only saw us at night 😑. But we survived. However, we cannot compare the 80s and 90s to today’s times. The world 🌍 today is scarier than it was decades ago. But we cannot put kids in a bubble. Sooner or later, they got to explore this world on their own. Just learn to trust them and learn! If they fall down, dust yourself off and try again

DJB72 · Answer

I had toy guns as young as I can remember. I had a pocket knife from age 6. Air rifles & small bore (.22) from 12 (supervised)

I knew shooting & safety from the perspective of teaching it age 13 on an actual LMG Bren gun (fully automatic machine gun in service since 1940 in the UK Army)

We had way more fun as kids in the UK in the 1980s having been told "NO,!!!" In no uncertain terms so we understood where the rules were important.

But hard times make hard men. Hard men create soft times. Soft times create weak men (with man-buns and self-identification issues). Weak men create hard times.

We're living in an era pandering to a group of entitled soft men who are caricatures of a strong man.

Let your kids play with danger. It teaches them they are capable. It lets them find their strength.

They don't have to get killed doing it!

mobiusforniner · Answer

They say we live in a smarter generation. 50 years ago, car owner manuals would tell you how to adjust a carburetor. Today it tells you not to drink the battery acid...

Point is, we live in a society thats become so compartmentalized. Nobody has experience in anything. People are so risk adverse. So we breed a generation of sheep.

My kids learn by making mistakes. That way they can develop a sense of their limitations and personal boundariesm. I can only guide them based on my experience.

EarthRealm · Answer

We should Instill kids with the belief that they wanna Build muscle.
With 5 year old kids doing push-ups
They’d be able to defend themselves and if they Fell down off or something or Got themselves in a situation they’d be able to Get rid of The bad situation.
But due to Christianity as well as Other Groups say Building muscle is evil and men should Become less manly by being Fat lazy and Men just aren’t men anymore we should probably stop calling them men when testosterone levels are at a all time low men are slaves to females
They don’t fight back they let others knock them around then play victim

ElvenMr · Answer

What kind of dangerous tho? Shooting a gun? Going on a shorter bicycle trip?

Some kids skate, and it's dangerous. I wouldn't want my kids to skate tbh... or do anything where they could get injuries that would last for life.

There are things kids shouldn't do even with an adult nearby, and with protective gear. Things can still go wrong in a lot of ways.
Some things are just not really worth doing even for adults, but they still do it, and they get hurt and sometimes die or come close to dieing... so yea probably not a good idea to let your kids do dangerous things.

zagor · Answer

Well sometime between when my parents grew up (and to some extent, me) and now they passed laws (in my and other states, not everywhere) banning riding a bike without a helmet for those under 18, riding a motorcycle without a helmet for everyone, and riding in the bed of a pickup truck. They also had realistic toy guns, lawn darts, and firecrackers. Yet the vast majority of kids survived to adulthood. I think it comes down to what you believe should be the role of the government, the parents, and the kids themselves in determining what is an appropriate level of risk. For adults as well as kids.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

And then what the poor child is going to suffer end up in the hospital it even worst die! No absolutely not some people seriously have no business having kids if they think it's okay to expose the child in danger. This is why it is expected to have kids at a mature age over 30. Please I hope you never have kids.

Emiliamazing · Answer

Just depends on the parents definition of dangerous. We are not helicopter parents at all, but my husband definitely allows our kids to adventure I’ll little bit more: a little tree climbing, a little stream crossing, mountain biking, etc. I think I even saw them chipping ice at some point last winter when we rented a place where up in the mountains for a week. I was a little annoyed with him, but everything went fine

exitseven · Answer

I did plenty of dangerous stuff as a kid, stuff I would never let my own kids do. I realize how lucky I am I never got killed or killed somebody else or got arrested.

I tried to keep a tighter rein on my kids. It is a different world and in a lot of ways much more dangerous.

Wraith_Cemetery · Answer

And this is why kids these days are absolutely terrified of the world. Because of their overly coddling Millennial mothers (sometimes fathers). They have no idea how to do anything on their own and their parents see everything as "dangerous". It's pathetic.

KelleyNice · Answer

There is such a thing as being over protective. It is normal for children to have scrapes and bruises or stung by a bee. They learn to be more careful. However, you don't want them doing some especially dangerous such as playing with a rattlesnake or risk falling from a high height.

Kori1236 · Answer

Depends on how dangerous it is. For example I wouldn’t allow a child to cross a stream or river with a high or fast current. A quiet stream though where they could fall but not drown sure that’s not an issue. Or letting them climb a tree. Being active and getting them into sports or fun activities like climbing or paddle-boarding do come with risks but also comes with watchful eyes.

Crafteroon · Answer

Define dangerous?

I think children should be allowed to explore, but parents should also be supportive and informative. Let the child visit the creek, but also tell them the dangerous places they should avoid and what kind of clothing they should wear. Let them be inquisitive, but aware of possible consequences. Most of all, being a source of information is important, you want them to ask when they don't know, and rely on you on things unknown to them.

PinkMichae · Answer

Well I think it depends on there age. For me my child has to have the capacity to understand when I explain the danger that can occur. I'm still going to use safety measures like plug covers until my child is old enough to understand if my child sticks anything in it besides a plug, they will likely be electrocuted. Stuff like that.

Autember · Answer

I agree that you live and learn. I would constantly try to touch the clothing iron when my mom would be using it and I was a pest. My grandpa told my mom to let me touch it just one time... I learned my lesson! I never tried to touch that thing again lol

But yes in moderation and with safety, kids need to experience life to learn. Can't just take someone's word, we have to experience it for ourselves.

JDBSLAOQ · Answer

there's a whole debate about hazards and risks for early childhood in the career scene. Even professionals dont have a "right" answer for whether risky play is good or not

it really depends on the institutions and workers themselves if theyre comfortable allowing children to take risks and learn 'naturally'

NathanDavis · Answer

to have fun, yes...

to explore, yes...

but to do clearly dangerous things, no...

dangerous is a very specific context... risky things sounds more reasonable if they're under proper and dedicated supervision

an example of this is sports... many sports have an implied risk because of their nature but they do not have to be dangerous per se, there are many precautions you can take and put in place in order to minimize all these possible risks

libsaretards · Answer

As long as the situation is not life-threatening, then let them make their mistakes and grow from them. I have broken every limb and all my fingers at some point in childhood. Those experiences taught me both how stupid my decisions were AND that I can handle any pain life throws at me as long as I never give up. Those broken bones taught me more than any parent or authority figure ever has.

JDavid25 · Answer

Absolutely.. I think anything that'll allow children to grow to be healthy, productive adults ready to take on the world and not afraid of it I am all for..

crmoore · Answer

That depends on what you mean by "dangerous." I agree kids can learn through failure. He can jump from rock to rock in a creek like that photo, and I can be around to get him if he falls in, but I wouldn't let him do that whitewater rapids where it is truly dangerous.

Or at least not at that age. But at 16-18, for example, we allow our kids to get behind the wheel.

purplepoppy · Answer

Kids bounce, they're a lot less fragile than adults. A lot of the time adults over think the risks and assume the worst is going to happen.

Apple1996 · Answer

If it's dangerous no just no. Letting them explore is fine but I'm not trying to get my kids taken away cuz I allow them to do dangerous things.

Th3ft · Answer

That was how I grew up. I know it is t always safe though as the adults don’t always know what they are doing… in that case I say now. But as long as a responsible adult is near by then go for all the hard!

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Dangerous? Absolutely not. A little child is too immature and physically weak and can seriously and permanently get screwed over in life if you put them in a dangerous position.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

To a limited extent. You have to balance risk and reward. But it's just like rough housing, they like to play right on the edge of danger while still being safe. Sometimes that's going to mean a boo boo.

TransAm85 · Answer

It's better for a kid to do things on their own. That's how we grow and learn. Dangerous? In today's generation I would be a little paranoid. Sex offenders, pedophiles, rapists, kidnapping.. I get an Amber alert at least 1x a week.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Absolutely. You can’t learn the full depth and breadth of the risk-reward ratio without experience, and sheltered kids don’t tend to suddenly become risk takers later in life.

slatyb · Answer

It all comes to risk. Children should not be allowed to do things with a significant risk of serious injury. For example, spending time alone with unknown adults, like religious leaders, coaches, etc.

Sixgunsound · Answer

Sheltering kids from life’s trials and tribulations is only going to produce adults that can’t cope. We’re seeing that now with the children of millennial helicopter parents.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. If you wrap them in cotton wool, they will be forever frightened of the world. As a parent you must address risk vs rewarded, they have no idea as children. It doesn't need to be 'dangerous' either, just unfamiliar so it stretches them.

My mother didn't know where i was most of the time I was out. My kids never stray from home unless they are taken somewhere.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Yes children are vulnerable and always learning, but they shouldn’t be constantly coddled. You can very easily engender chronic, low-grade, fear in them, doing this. Tears will be shed. But that’s life. Part of the process.

Adam1978 · Answer

Not dangerous, ie nothing that can permanently harm or kill them, but certainly things that they can hurt themselves while doing. Sometimes a hard lesson is better than cuddling. But you should warn them about it.

Monah4billion · Answer

You Already made mention of the word DANGEROUS & it doesn't sit well allowing children do these things. Things may go south cos Even adult get hurt by doing stuff that aren't dangerous like football & rugby

jshm2 · Answer

Then they were not dangerous things to begin with, dumbass. It's like asking for a cold drink, but it must be room temperature.

Anonymous · Answer

I think in general people need to be lowed to make decisions. As kids get older it's important I'd say to let go a bit. Yes they will get hurt and that but it's a key part of growing up. If not they will get sick of the coddling and do something more rash. Or they could end up scared of many things. Both hinder them. It's about teaching then to be responsible, smart and sensible but then trusting that you've taught them we'll.

If you don't trust them then that's also just as damaging..

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Give me three situations, because I already don't agree with the picture. Kids can be stupid. Some just go 'what is that' and sprint towards their doom. Sprint, 2 seconds of not paying attention and those kids will be off.

Haha456 · Answer

thats true for adults but not for kids. Adults are strong, have better balance, better decision-making skills, more in control of their emotions and impulses. But kids do have these things.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Yeppers.  I lived through being on a farm, lead paint, riding to town in the back of a pickup.  And I'm still here. Sure a bit bent and bruised, but still here.

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutely, I think most kids grow up in a bubble today without nearly enough of the life experiences kids of the past had, which benefitted them a lot. I was an exception because my parents, especially my father, encouraged my brother and me to take risks and experience life, and learn from those experiences.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I think as a kid I did a lot of dangerous kids without permission and just by luck survived them all. I would personally be very careful with my own kids.

Apulu_Imback · Answer

I agree to this as you mentioned it depends on the child's Age. I wish I had more adventurous life. All kids would love an active and thrilling life.

Descending_Soul · Answer

I think a part of growing your own perception and knowledge is by experience. As a parent it is fine following by the side and looking after them but allow the kids choose their own path. We can gently guide them if we are aware of a great trap in their way. But kids are pretty sturdy, I know of myself, they do not break when they had a chance to be a little wild first. Makes a strong individual too.

TryMeBee · Answer

Not rock-climbing, but general life like cooking, playing sports, etc. Yes. Unless they ask for help.

melanieeeB · Answer

Kids have to learn, grow, make experiences and be kids too

Beerluvr · Answer

All depends as what you mean by dangerous. I don’t think we should keep them in a bubble that’s for sure. Shit happens. Broken arm or leg or scrapes that’s all part life.

DoctorSex · Answer

I don't think it's possible to attribute the trait carefully with children. Kind regards, DoctorSex

mermaidcancermoon · Answer

As long as its not a life or death or hospital risk im all for it.  Bump your head one good time, and you won't do that again.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Yes. My daughter is a little dare devil, she is not scared of anything. Sometimes she’s way braver than I am 😅 I’ve always let her explore and do “dangerous” things.

NNWSSEnew · Answer

Okay I'll let a child train me to take a car apart but I won't let them use my ax to cut off somebody's head. You got to hit it just right in between a 33rd and the 32 vertebrates so they can't come back to life no I won't let a child do that

Still-alive · Answer

I approve but... those medical bills will hurt like hell if they actually get badly hurt.

otherwise i do agree i feel kids need to just be kids, be adventurous, explore whats right or wrong to do on their own develops character.

joeldalton · Answer

Of course. We don’t want another generation of snowflakes. It’s bad enough to deal with millennials and gen z

TrillXHippy · Answer

Building is on fire then a kid presses a button to get on an elevator and the door closes. Too late. Kid can’t really swim and drowns in pool. Nope

driven159 · Answer

when I was young, I did stuff on a bike that would have made evil Kanavel piss his pants, but my parents knew how skilled I was at it never worried about it the only time I got hurt was doing normal kid things

maximumpower · Answer

Depends upon how dangerous the activity. Playing in a cool, slow moving mounain stream? No problem. Playing in a river full of crocodiles and piranhas? Problem. This is what parenting is all about.

Belgie · Answer

My opinion : Parent your child, you utter gobshite.

Andres77 · Answer

Yes, that’s how I’ve lived my life. Doing lots of extremely dangerous stuff safely.

Do you agree that we should allow kids to do dangerous things as long as they are doing them carefully?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you agree that we should allow kids to do dangerous things as long as they are doing them carefully?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.