How many years would you spread your kids apart by age?

[annabananna]

Would you try to get pregnant right away after just having a baby or wait a few years?

[Anonymous]

I found the following article:

https://www.whattoexpect.com/family/child-spacing

…and it appears that a 3-year age gap between children is best…

First please note that the article says:
“Experts recommend waiting at least 18 months between pregnancies because it reduces the risk of your youngest child being preterm or low birthweight (especially if you’re over 35).”

Also:

Potential challenges of a 1-year age gap between children:

- Your body may not fully recover having children 1-year apart. This includes having a higher risk of a second-child premature birth, and it’s difficult/dangerous to deliver vaginally if your first child was born by C-section less than 18 months before your second

- It’s a lot of work having two children a year apart

- It’s more challenging to nurture the mother-baby bond with two kids under 2
- You'll probably need to buy extra “baby gear” (crib, stroller, etc.)

Possible benefits of a 2-year age gap between children
- When it comes to how prepared your body is for the next baby, a 2-year gap is healthier for you than waiting less time
- It reduces the risk of pregnancy complications
- You won’t have forgotten the basics of caring for a newborn, while at the same time you’ll feel the confidence that comes from being an old pro

Possible benefits of a 3-year age gap between children
- According to some research, you may have the lowest risk of labor complications when you have your second baby around three years after your first
- This time frame seems to be easier on your body versus having a baby earlier or later
- A 3-year-old can (theoretically at least) entertain himself and in general show some independence while you’re dealing with the second child

Potential challenges of a 4-year age gap between children
- Birth complications may be more common
- You might be a little rustier
- Your kids may not relate as well

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for the MHO

[DaveJord]

So my first was unplanned and my second the wife begged me for, so there was 8 years difference between the two, both daughters. there's pros and cons to everything. But that gap was too much honestly, I don't think the kids were as close as they could of been.

I think 2 years is a sweet spot. Not too close or too far apart. I have a 4 year gap between my sister. We were not too close either growing up, but that had nothing to do with age gap as much as other things. But with my sister she even said that it was hard for here at 4 years old to have a baby brother,, because she was old enough to remember being the baby of the family then having to compete for attention when I was born. I think the closer together the better, verses farther apart. Closer in age the more likely they will grow up together as play mates, who experience a lot of the same things together at about the same piont in their lives. So literally they grow up together. Farther apart and they go through different stages of maturity at different times, and tend to live separate lives and care about completely different things at different pionts.

All my friends that had siblings with one or two years apart have stronger relationships with brothers and sisters. I have few with 4 or more year gap and their relationships are a lot like I have with my sister.

[menina]

If I was still in time to have kids, they would be 6 or 7 years apart. That would give me time to recover from the pregnancy and I wouldn't have to take care of two babies at the same time.

Obviously I would take care of both but it would be different.

[menina]

Thanks for the MHO.

[EmmaMary]

We had always agreed and planned that we would like about a three year age difference between our children.

We have been so blessed that it will almost be three years (all but three months) when I give birth to our second child this coming November.

[Rebel_Queen]

If you don't mind me asking when in November? My birthday is the 22nd

[EmmaMary]

@Rebel_Queen

My due date is the 8th... But as we all know, anything can happen!

[Rebel_Queen]

That is the day before my grandma's birthday! Wow congrats I hope it makes you family bond even stronger as it does our family everytime a new baby is born

[EmmaMary]

@Rebel_Queen

Gosh... Thank You and Bless You so much. x

[Rebel_Queen]

Bless you and your small (soon to be bigger) family! I hope the baby is healthy and happy I would be too to have such a great mom! xx

[annabananna]

Congrats!

[EmmaMary]

@annabananna

Thank you so much. x

[Paulalove98]

@EmmaMary congrats!!!

[EmmaMary]

@Paulalove98

Thank you so much.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHGirl.

[Kori1236]

If I choose to have kids I’d prefer to have one set of multiples (twins) and call it quits. But kids really aren’t in my long term plan, I have no desire to become pregnant or give birth. So if I suddenly decided I wanted kids I would probably go the adoption/foster route

[caring__1]

When siblings are 5 or more years apart, you will actually be raising multiple only children, as they won't be in the same developmental stage till they are adults. This means you'll have to give each of them experiences with other kids their age, so they can learn to share and realize they aren't the center of the universe. Other than this limit, anything closer would be up to the preferences of the parents. Some prefer getting it over sooner, while others want time with the first before adding a new one.

Another potential issue of spacing them further apart is kids get used to having all your attention, so when a new sibling arrives, they can feel they have been abandoned and replaced... leading to acting out behavior. Make sure each child gets regular scheduled quality attention rather than expect them to compete for your attention. Never legitimize pushing them aside by saying babies need more attention. Also, never push your partner aside and say babies need more attention.

[DizzyDesii]

So so true. My sis is almost 6 years apart and even now we hardly get along. And i was constantly told the baby needed more attention and it pissed me off because i was very territorial. I never felt abandoned nor replaced but i definitely called out unfair times

[caring__1]

@DizzyDesii Sorry you had to deal with that. Parents usually don't intentionally snub the older child, but they tend to be oblivious as to how their choices impact others. You may have believed this was your territory, but parents need to consider all family members, so believing it didn't make it so. It's a shame you got left in the dust, when your parents lost sight of priorities.

You may have heard that education can be helpful when it comes to a career, yet how often have you heard people say that education can be helpful when it comes to a relationship or parenting? People just tend to become a reaction to their previous experiences, never taking the time to learn what might be more effective in this particular situation. You can raise 10 kids in the same house, all the same way, yet they'll all turn out differently. There is no one size fits all program. It is important to observe to see what works best for each individual.

At the very least, learn effective communication skills, and don't declare, like most people, you already know how. Let's say I schedule you to do brain surgery next Tuesday. You're a quick learner, so do you think you'd be able to fake your way through it... like people fake their way through communication? Never assume you're competent at anything, just by observing others model dysfunctional patterns.

[DizzyDesii]

You’re very right. But as for the territorial thing I only got left in the dust for tthe babys first year or two. After that, my fam were all about me again 😂 I’ve been the fave since I was ages 5 and under and again ages 8-27 lol. So I feel fine haha. Also, education has proved to be not so helpful. We need common sense and natural skill as well as learned skill from a good mentor. But a lot of jobs dont want to teach these days

[caring__1]

@DizzyDesii Being the favorite can backfire, also, as it can create a lot of competition and resentment.

Common sense and natural skill is very helpful, but having a good foundation of the basics is also very important. Your education may open the door to an interview, but you'll get and keep a job if you can show you not only know how to acquire knowledge, but also apply it. Not that many years ago, my son was denied a job in a particular department, due to not graduating from a particular university. Now, my son is above that department, and they seek him out for his knowledge.

Are you going to master the French language by eating French Toast and French Fries and mastering French kissing? I've had many wives bring their husbands to me to learn how to communicate. They claimed they were great communicators, while their husbands were terrible communicators. Generally, I find the wives are just as ineffective as their husbands... they just talk all the time. It's surprising how few people know the difference between talking and communicating.

[DizzyDesii]

Wow you should be some sort of counselor. You know your stuff

[caring__1]

@DizzyDesii Thank you.

[Apple1996]

My 1st and 2nd are 2.5 years apart, 2nd and 3rd are 4.5 years apart and 3rd and 4th are gonna be 17 months apart. I very purposely wanted to have kids closer together cuz with the 2 and 4 year age gap it sucked soo much. I definitely don't recommend cuz then they are at completely different stages and that makes it hard to take care of them. Much rather them be as close as possible in age.

[bayoubob]

Well, we know this much. In Libtarded minds you cannot as a man have any say. It's all about Dem lies. Or what they as a party can hang on to. It's the only reason why they can still vote Democrat. Because of women's reproductive rights. It's fucking mental? You talk about how many years should you spread your legs between babies? That is up to ALL INVOLVED. All DEMS next campaign is based upon abortion. It is all they have. Libtarded whamen and douche bags who fuck incoherently for no other reason than they cannot shut their legs and that they are HIGH as a fucking kite whilst doing so, they simply say, we want our ABORTIONS, and we WANT IT NOW.

[bayoubob]

However, if the man wants it? Vice a versa. The man has every FUCKING right to say, I want the baby or fuck this noise. I will not pay for it. I will dissolve my self of this situation. Wash my hands of it. The Courts say other fucking wise? You want your child support? Alimony? Fuck that noise. Libtards must come to middle grounds. However, they don't. It's up to LIBTARDS and women's rights. It's kind of like tooth for a tooth, eye for an eye. You fuck stupidly. EVERYONE has a say. EVERYONE.

[BlackBeauty90]

You sound like a lovely person to have around a child's birthday party. Probably take a shit on the cake & blame everyone else for it.

[bayoubob]

@BlackBeauty90 You see it? We puts the rubberz on. Like your skanky butt don't want HIV? You be careful. It's so out of league with Lefty's. When your man gives you HIV you like it I guess? But smart people cannot be smart. Smart people can never be smart. You bitch about guns. But you cannot bitch about your own merriment. Well, looky here. I trust everything and nothing. But your ass got the AIDz. He's totally fine. He's a fantastic person. Why did your skanky ass get AIDS? You love the slippery feeling that does not require rubber?

[bayoubob]

You just want to spread your legs without everyone and everything be tested. Yes, we are supposed to believe that everyone is inherently good. However, that only goes so far. That's where you become a cum dumpster. And where you claim no responsibility.

[BlackBeauty90]

@bayoubob - whoever mentioned HIV you dogfucking vermin. ROFL.

[bayoubob]

@BlackBeauty90 The only thing I bitch about, is skanks. In this day and age of Bidenophiles. You are supposed to tell me why he reigns supreme.

[bayoubob]

You don't need skankness. It's in herent.

[ohsheeT]

My kids were 2 years apart it's not so much how you want to have them it's really takes a lot out of the woman that's carrying the babies because she's constantly feeding that baby with the things that she eats and it takes a toll on her body her mind or Soul her spirit she has to be mentally prepared physically prepared and that's what I would suggest is it's up to the woman not what I would want or when I would want to have my kids it's when she is ready to have them

[DizzyDesii]

I always wanted my kids 2-3 years apart. But I also always wanted to burth my children in my 20s and to stop birthing by time I reached 30. Unfortunately I’m even closer to 30 now and have not started. So i’ll be lucky to have one biological child and i’ll likely adopt a second

[BullShark]

First and foremost, I'll discuss it with my wife whether or not she shares the same wish as mine to have kids and then follow up with how many 'cos family planning's important too. If we decide on more than one or two kids, then I'd preferably have them around 2-3 years apart in age so that they're of the same generation and can get along well.

[Paulalove98]

I’d wait at least 3 or 4 years before having another I feel like it can be very hard having one right after another like only a year or two lol some people can do it creds to them but I don’t think I’d personally do it and I also wanna enjoy all those exciting moments early on with my toddler in the future not rush right away. I only want 2 kids at the most maybe even 1 so if me and my future partner did decide to give them a sibling the ideal time would be when their at least 3.

[Twalli]

There are pros and cons to spreading them out and having them close together. If they're further apart, then the older one (s) can babysit the younger ones. On the other hand, it's harder to find shared interests. If they're closer together you have to find a babysitter, but they are probably more likely to share interests.

[Twalli]

Also in relation to schooling and applying to schools. Far apart can mean the necessities have changed making what you used the first time around unsuccessful. Close together means that changes are unlikely to be major, if at all. Yet close together can be difficult for parents to handle since as soon as they get one kid settled in a new place they have to start over with the other one.
As a major example of change, I will reference the increased importance of ACT scores in the US. Most schools in my parents time only cared about SAT scores, now though ACT scores matter too.

[AviatorTom]

Ideal separation is 2-3 years between births. My 3 kids are 2 years and 4 years apart, which was very nice. It's important to spend time with the latest born before the next one comes along, yet keep them close enough so you still have all the necessary equipment and routine for a newborn. As they get older, they can play together, typically without a lot of conflict, since they're roughly the same age.

[Secret6620]

I would try to get pregnant right away.

I would want to have five children back to back. This will make sure they're very close in age.

And they'll have the opportunity to grow up with siblings.

[pastuser]

lots of fun sex for you ahead

[YollyM]

They would have to be at least 4 years apart so that me and my potential partner would have enough time to save prior to each of their birth.

I also believe that it would be easier to take care of a newborn and a 4 year old than taking care of a newborn and a 1 year old for example.

[BCA6010]

2-3 years I guess if I had to choose. I'm not all that rigid on the subject, and it's definitely something to (attempt to) coordinate with the mother.

[jennifer_bloom]

If they are similar, it might benefit their connection more, I would do whatever felt comfortable to me fertility wise, sometimes age gap siblings are good because there is less rivalry jealousy.

[Literalbillionaire17]

Most likely 4 years apart since my brother and I are and I think it’s the ideal age and times.


Since I had my parents to myself a bit but also was young enough to have a great relationship with my little brother and since we’re close in age we also do a lot together.

[Lyndsielee666]

Mine are almost five years apart. I liked it when I first had my youngest but it’s hell now😂

[HaveNoName]

My 1.785 cents :

This is the advantage of marrying early. This is why everything has its right time (if circumstances and fate permit). If you marry rarly, you have a few years (upto 5) to enjoy marrird life without kids before you start feeling the pressure to have them. The later you do, the more pressure you have to have them early.

This whole idea of being at retirement age with kids going to school and college is absurd on so many counts.

[HaveNoName]

Having said that, ideal spacing is 2.5 to 4 years.

[HaveNoName]

... and NEVER stop at one willingly. It is unfair to that child.

[Rebel_Queen]

Oh yes I know I'm an only child

[HaveNoName]

@Rebel_Queen Oouch !! Sorry. I hope you have had a good life.

[Rebel_Queen]

I'm trying haha

[Greergr]

I want a year between my two children, which I plan to have at 23-25. I think so they can grow up friends like me and my sibling did.

[Gagname]

You “plan to have at 23-25”?
…your profile says you’re 38

[Greergr]

@Gagname I know, but I just didn't put my real age.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Well if I was part of the decision and everything goes to plan I'd probably do like a 2 or 3 year difference

[Anonymous]

my partner and I had fraternal twins nearly 6 years ago. while we don't currently plan to have more. it could happen down the road at some point I guess. she's 33 now and I'm 36 so we still have some time left.

also twins don't run in either of our direct blood lines so it was a shock to say the least.

[Opinion Owner]

we had twin boys.