#Survey If you had kids, what ages would you allow for each (see below)?

[DizzyDesii]

Even if you don’t want kids, you can still answer if you’d like. If you already have kids, you can tell what ages you allowed if you remember. PLEASE COPY AND PASTE or at least tell what the age is in relation to.

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters?

#2 Age they can have a phone?

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop?

#4 Age they can have social media?

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised?

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)?

#7 Curfew hours while under 18?

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection?

#9 Age you might buy them a car?

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash?

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door?

#12 Age they can stay home alone?

#13 Age they should start working?

#FeelFreeToList

——————MY ANSWERS———————

1. Sons/daughters must wait til 16. 🤷‍♀️ 2. Phones will likely be when they’re in 7th grade, so age 13/14. Will encourage provide pagers before then 🤣 3. Desktop in public area of the home until they’re 18. Laptops provided for school purposes. 4. Social media once 18+. 5. Internet unsupervised if on phone, otherwise use desktop. 6. Will encourage them to never use drugs and that drinking/gambling must wait until 21+. 7. Curfew until 11pm on Fri/Sat bur 9p Sun-Thurs. 8. Will give the talk 13-15 but will not provide protection until 18. 9. Car at 18 or when they graduate HS 10. Birthday bash at 3, 5, 7, 10, 12, 17, and 18. 11. Bedroom door can’t be closed until 17+. 12. Age 12+ 13. During summer at 17+.

Updates

1 y

Great answers everyone. I mentioned the door being closed because in my city thats apparently a big thing where parents of mine and my classmates would not allow that, especially in HS. Its cool tho because the sex often happened elsewhere lmao. I think i’m serious about giving them a pager or tracfone until they’re old enough for a smartphone at 13+. Drinking is definitely a 21+ but i’ll discourage smoking, drinking, and social media because i dont do either

[Phoenix98]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters?

Sons maybe 14-15

Daughters never ( joking ) um probably around the same age as the boys.

#2 Age they can have a phone?

Probably around the time they enter highschool or little before I don't really want my kids glued to phones walking around like glorified zombies like all the kids I see today are.

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop?

I'd probably just build them a PC to use or have a family computer they can use.

#4 Age they can have social media?

Honestly I'd try to keep them off of it as much as possible, social media is in my opinion cancerous to everyone it's toxic and is just full of nonsense and things kids don't need to be seeing. I see no reason for my kids to be tainted by it. Especially not after some of the stuff I've seen.

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised?

Ehh depends on things like how mature they are if I have a child lock on the internet to prevent them from getting to stuff they shouldn't.

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)?

I'd prefer if they never smoked at least not while living in my house, I know I smoke but that doesn't mean I want my kids doing the same stuff I did/do. As for drinking, prefer they didn't do it but if they do they need to be legal age or bare minimum 18.

#7 Curfew hours while under 18?

If they're they young as in actual kids then same as when I was a kid be back home by the time the sun is setting. If they're mid teens then like 9-10pm.

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection?

I'll give em the talk but I'll make it clear that won't be happening under my roof or while they live there. So no I won't provide them a means to possible ruin their lives if they misuse it or get sloppy. Which I've seen happen far to often I almost became an uncle just a few years ago -_- because of that.

#9 Age you might buy them a car?

They can work for it same as I did or if I have a spare car we aren't using I'll have them do things for me to earn the right to drive it. Or I'll help them pay for a car provided they also put some money in or I'll buy them a car and hide it and make em do work for me and then surprise them with it later.

I want my kids to know the value of a dollar and hard work and that things don't just fall into your lap you need to work hard to get what you want.

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash?

Probably the sweet 16 for any daughter I may have because I know that's important to girls. But other then that I'll always make sure they have a good birthday.

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door?

They can close it anytime they want unless there's a person of the opposite sex in there with em. Then I'll have to ask them to leave it open or maybe close it half way.

#12 Age they can stay home alone?

Probably highschool at least 13-14 if it can be helped.

#13 Age they should start working?

Soon as they are able or want to. I mean I force em to get a job or anything but if they wanna do chores around the house for money or work part time somewhere or do odd jobs like walking fields during harvest where I work I ain't gonna say no. It'd be good experience for em.

[DizzyDesii]

#2 i agree #3 whoa you can build one #4 i fully agree. I wasn't allowed to have it until 18 and even then i only created GaG which is toxic enough #6 will you smoke in front of them? #8 holy smokes fully fully agree about the talk and not providing #9 i understand about them needing to work hard for the car, but for me, if my kid keeps up their grades throughout high school, i’ll absolutely gift them a car for graduation. They’ll have to do the gas/insurance/tag for it though.

[Phoenix98]

3# Yup a basic one anyway.

Yeah social media is just... yeah definitely keeping my kids away from it -_-.

6# Uh would try not to, I don't usually smoke at home and if I do it's outside or in my truck or I'm driving around/doing stuff.

8# Yup.

9# Yeah I mean I could do something like that to, or like I said if they came to me and asked for a car I'd be like ok if you go and get a job and save x amount of money then I'll pay for x amount for the car. Or something like that but that's like if they were gonna have the car before graduation you know?

[DizzyDesii]

#6 is it just your pipe or have you started cigarettes

[Phoenix98]

I smoke my tobacco pipes and cigars, more cigar these days but I still use my pipes. I genuinely don't like smoking cigarettes and avoid smoking them at all costs if I can. I think the last time I even smoked one was like 2-3 years ago.

[ShadezMcgee]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters?

This will go hand in hand with another one on the list, but ultimately 14/15 (high school freshman)

#2 Age they can have a phone?

No younger than 12.

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop?

14/15

#4 Age they can have social media?

14/15

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised?

14/15

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)?

18. College is where they will do a lot of shit illegally anyway.

#7 Curfew hours while under 18?

9PM

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection?

This goes hand in hand with my first question, but ultimately when daughter gets 1st period and either her or son start asking about sex in general. So as early as 12, but probably right around 14.

#9 Age you might buy them a car?

Depends if we have the money and if they really need one. Will follow family tradition that older kids has rights to the oldest vehicle the parents have and parents get new car instead. So 16.

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash?

Probably 10 years old.

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door?

When they first start puberty and asking about sex. Probably young as 12 or the moment I walk in on one of them jacking or jilling off.

#12 Age they can stay home alone?

10/11 years old, provided the neighborhood is safe and they are responsible enough to not get in trouble. Any disobedience with the privilege will lead to babysitting from a sitter or a trusted family member if they have no after school activities to direct their focus and energy.

#13 Age they should start working?

Probably 14, but they will understand the value because they will be doing chores around the house and allowance will be based upon quality of work done. The second they understand the value of money and keep asking for it si when I will tell them to get a job and learn to save since I will not spoil their asses.

[DizzyDesii]

Whoa very great answers for 1-12. For #13, will it be during summers or after school too?

[ShadezMcgee]

Thank you.

Now in regards to #13, it will be during both school and summer. I did it growing up amd made time for other things, they can too. They want to have fun, they better figure out the finance end because I will. not be giving them an allowance from that point on.

[DizzyDesii]

I know now that I messed up (in terms of certain job experience needed) by not even working summers, but i’m glad that i didn't have to work during school. If you see that it starts to affect their grades, will you ease up a bit and just let them work summers only?

[ShadezMcgee]

School is important, but work is too. I would want them to be at least part time, I am not expecting full time unless it is summer. School gives part time work a pass because I expect they will probably do sports too.

I was able to do my job, sports, school and all of that when I was a kid. I don't see that as unreasonable.

[SnowedIn]

I have four children. Three boys (20, about to turn 18, and 14) and an 11-year-old daughter.

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters? -- 11 or 12 with mom or dad with them (or in the case of my family, one of the two oldest brothers). Alone probably 14. Age isn't different for boys and girls.

#2 Age they can have a phone? -- This changed for us. We started out that it was the August before you start 7th grade. But, we lowered it because we wanted them to have the phone in case something happened at school so my youngest son got his in 5th grade and my daughter in 4th. And, all the other kids have them too -- that factors in to it. When your kid is the only one without a phone, you are putting a neon sign over their head that says "give me a hard time".

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop? -- 10 unless one of the older ones gets a new one and they you pass the tech down.

#4 Age they can have social media? -- 10/11/12; depends on the child.

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised? -- 9

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)? -- Smoking? They may not. I grew up with it and it sucks. You will not put that smell into your clothes and thus into my house and cars. Do it and lose allowance, phone, internet, etc. Drinking? Glass of wine or a beer? As soon as you want it. Rum and Coke or something like that? As soon as you want it. Only one of my kids will occasionally choose to have a drink with us. But even he (and all the others) really don't like alcohol and don't have a desire to drink.

#7 Curfew hours while under 18? Varies by age and activity. Most likely 10. #2 boy has to be home by midnight. #3 son once that activity is over but by 9 or 10. My daughter, either dark or when she's done at her friend's house and texts me. Again, changes as they age and what they're doing.

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection? The talk? It starts early (like 3/4/5) and is a continuing discussion through adulthood. Please see my full answer here: Have you ever had to do the "talk" with your kids? What was your approach? . Protection? As soon as they ask for it and articulate why they want it. They know they can ask. They know there will be zero judgement. They are going to choose to have sex -- I'd rather they be protected.

#9 Age you might buy them a car? -- Nope. That's on them.

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash? -- maybe 16. possibly 18. Here's the thing: the party is about them. You'd be surprised how often they don't want a big party.

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door? -- From birth.

#12 Age they can stay home alone? -- 7 or 8.

#13 Age they should start working? -- 13.

[DizzyDesii]

#2 i understand that but we all survived without one at that age. So my kid can get a pager and call me from the school office phone. #6 fully agree about the smoking #8 yea i’ll check it. #13 for me, it would be summers only. I dont want anything affe ting their school work

[SnowedIn]

Your head is screwed on straight! 😎 On number 2 I respect your thoughts but ask you to keep an open mind. Your kid being singled out is REALLY hard on them. You're not wrong I'm just asking that you keep an open mind.

[DizzyDesii]

They honestly wouldn’t know what my kid has because they’d be required to leave it at home. My schools didn't allow cellphones. A lot of our parents made us keep it at home. And if you brought yours to school and it rang aloud by accident (even if in your backpack), the school had the right to keep the phone for a month. It was in the school registration forms that everyone had to sign. So yea the most they’d get to take with them is a pager or use the office phone in case of emergency

[Wish4UrB00ty]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters?

A.) id say 16

#2 Age they can have a phone?

A.) I dont think they need phones until they have a job and license. My oldest nephew just got a phone for Christmas and he is 15 he has even had a job for about a year now.

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop?

A.) As long as they are learning to care for their things well like they should I would say 9 or 10

#4 Age they can have social media?

A.) there are ways to allow kids things like face book but really I don’t think they need it at all. Unless they are starting a business insta is useless and twitter is for speakers and politicians or adult children who want to wine

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised?

A.) well that is difficult to say… haha!

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)?

A.) well I don’t smoke and I believe there is a legal age for a reason my kids can try sips of what I am drinking around 5 or 6 id say depending on how hard it is but I dont want to hurt my kids any more then I want to get drunk.

#7 Curfew hours while under 18?

A.) I’ve never even thought about that… I’ll have to I guess…

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection?

A.) that is something I would like to be an open book. I would like my kids to feel comfortable and confident telling me what they think and asking me questions so I intend to start telling them about the differences when they are learning to be appropriate as 1 to 2 year olds and I Intend for them to know understand their attractions and thought processes as they enter puberty and if protection becomes an issue I intend them to have that resource like any other resource in that subject as they find they need it wether that is at 16 or at 21…

#9 Age you might buy them a car?

A.) Probably about 16 I think the legal working age is 14 here but 15 or 16 is a good age and I would want them to have good habits and a good sense of responsibility before giving them a car.

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash?

A.) maybe 9 or 10.

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door?

A.) I would say they can close their door whenever they need to as long as someone else isn’t in it with them.

#12 Age they can stay home alone?

A.) Probably 10 or 11.

#13 Age they should start working?

A.) lol! 15 ish.

[DizzyDesii]

#2 i wouldn't make a kid get a job under age 17/18 unless they literally begged to work one. But even then, it would only be during summers. School comes first. #8 lmao 1 to 2 years old? What you gonna tell em? Cooties ain't real 🤣

[Wish4UrB00ty]

See I would want my kids homeschooled or at least in a homeschool group so they could work part time around that. But I agree school comes first! I would only make my kid get a job so that they weren’t just sitting around wasting time and jacking off all the time.
As for starting it at 1 to 2… yeah, “ this is your penis. And no your sister has something called a vagina and just like that is your private part it’s her private part that you need to respect and not touch.”

[DizzyDesii]

Is it really dit around wasting time? You dont believe in just letting kids be kids? Lol

[Wish4UrB00ty]

Oh no kids can be kids but 14 year olds aren’t kids. They are teenagers. So they should be able to handle some responsibility in their lives. And it makes them appreciate what they have and can buy with their money.

[DizzyDesii]

Here you’re not even allowed to work until 16 unless you want to be restricted to 3 hours a day, 18 hours a year. So i wouldn't make my kid work that early on. Bt i hear you

[Wish4UrB00ty]

Oh well fair! Then 16. I mean it also depends on how much the kid is in to sports and whatnot. I loved sports and would have played more organized I think if I had been in public school. But being homeschooled I just worked my butt off and became an ideal worker.

[21Cowboy21]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters?

Whenever they choose - they will anyways regardless - it's cute parents think they have a say in that - they don't as its not their life. But I would educate them to use protection when the time comes ahead of time and know they don't always have to say yes to another person if they don't feel they want to, or xan switch their decision anytime if they have a change of heart later on.

#2 Age they can have a phone?

Whenever they can afford one, and have a regular part time job to pay for their own plan. If they can't even flip burgers for a shift a week - they aren't responsible enough for one yet. U will get them a cheap emergency burner phone though once they get their licence with the bare basics for safety only though.

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop?

The kids can share on the family computer for work. Tablet or laptop - whenever they chose to once they save up their own money for one and are responsible enough to pay for it out of their own pocket. Teaches kids young they have to work for what they want and that it does not fall out of the sky. Teaches great budgeting skills at a young age too and helps kids plan long term financially which is a great skill to have later in life as an adult.

#4 Age they can have social media?

Whenever they want - they will have this weather the parents allow or not - they just won't tell the parents if the parents are strict is the only choice that the parents actually have.

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised?

If they have their own device and are proved to be responisble - go for it. Otherwise they can use a shared family computer in the office until then.

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)?

Smoking - never. Drinking I may allow them to have a drink or two max in high school but 2 max. Prevents them from going off the deep end in uni if they are in a structured environment to stsrt before hand and know how not to be stupid about it.

#7 Curfew hours while under 18?

10:00 am week nights. 12-1:00 on weekends (unless at a girlfriends place). In senior year I may recommend they dont stay up past 1 most times unless at a party with friends - but would leave that choice up to them and give them the freedom to make those mistakes or not.

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection?

As soon as the ask, or around age 10, and again at age 12 with more in depth talk.

#9 Age you might buy them a car?

Never. If they are not financially responsible enough to know how to save up for one - they don't need one anyway. Welcome to the real world and they will go into it far more prepared than their spoiled cohorts most of the time who are handed everything without work.

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash?

Age they are turning = friends they can invite over, up to age 10. Once they are in the teens 5 friends max. Make your own mini pizzas is great one for kids parties as all the kids can just put what they want on them - dont have to worry if one of their friends is a picky eater and all the kids get experience seeing how to cook a bit. Id chop the ingredients up into piles they can chose ahead of time. Then fruit and small slice of cake for desert of course.

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door?

Past age 5 - always. But must keep door unlocked until age 10 in case emergency happens and they need help.

#12 Age they can stay home alone?

Age 10-12 for short amount of time 1hr or less if I'm outside or across the st at a neighbors place. 12+ alone on their own for the day. 13+ on their own with up to 1 friend also if they choose. 14+ with multiple friends at that point on - would no longer be worried or care.

#13 Age they should start working?

I started in grade 5 with mowing lawns and paper routes. Then added soccer referee in grade 8 while doing all the before. Was making about $25/hr and could set my own hrs outside of school/extra curricular.

I added subway and restaurant work to the mix once I was in high school and continued to make about $25/hr from all sources after school or on weekends, and $7/hr from walking paper routes early mornings at 3-4am. I did not work if was during a sport season like soccer in the fall as was too busy in sept and oct only.

I also got small handouts from my parents for allowance of $2/week between age 5-10, and $5/week between age 10-15. This was only on weeks I completed all the set chores I had around the house like sweep vacuum set table / dishes after, mow lawn at home or shovel - etc

[21Cowboy21]

Finally - two financial goals all kids should follow if possible (I work as a banker - trust me this shit works):

1) Anything the kid wants to buy - they must wait at least 1 full week before making the purchase - this can include lego, a chocolate bar they see in line at a store, and everything else in between - 1 full wk min. If they are still thinking about it in 1 wks time you will take them back and tell them they can make the purchase them (90% of the time they will forget all about that chocolate bar and now they're money is better saved for what actually matters to them for toys now, or saving for university later on, or for electronics or game consoles later on.

2) Before a child makes ANY purchase - round up to the nearest dollar to keep math easy for them and they must put 50% in the bank, FIRST. So if they want a $30 lego set - they must first save $60 so they can put $30 into a savings account for once they move out in university later on, and still have $30 to then make the actual purchase. This teaches to plan for BOTH the short and long term from a young age.

3) if they ever ask the parent to pester them to buy something foe the kid - as a parent say "I do not want to spend my hard earned money on (junk item or candy the kid claims they want - most of the time is just BS). Then tell the kid "but you are certainly welcome to come back in a week after saving you money and using your hard earned money on (item) if you think its that important to you. - most of the time the kids will say they also dont want to spend their own money on the junk item they see - then you as a parent can say "great I'm glad we're in agreeance then neither of us want to spend our hard earned money on that item." - and now the child no longer pastors you for it.

[DizzyDesii]

#1 not every child is rebellious. A lot of people i hung witj didn't date until allowed. Now sex was a different story that came once we were allowed to date but still. #2 dang thats kinda messed up lmao. Damn you’re kinda strict lmao. Thanks for the banker tips but i already know how i’ll handle it. Im not the type to buy kids a mini motorcycle and atv when they can barely walk. My kids won’t get big gifts until sometime age 5+. Legos and stuff are not a big deal in my opinion. But game consoles is something they likely won’t get until they’re about 10 or 12. And even then they are not allowed to play online. I’ve never played online in general (aside from pool and mariokart on the switch in my 20s). so they can wait until they’re 18+ to play online. I prefer storymode or inviting people over in person to play

[TenderFantasy]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters? No, there's no difference between sons and daughters. They are allowed to date starting at age 13 (but GROUP dates only and there's a curfew). Once they are 17, is when they are allowed to do one-on-one BUT in public and there is STILL a curfew.

#2 Age they can have a phone? I got my first cell phone at 16 in 2000 for Christmas. Now THAT was not a bad age to get one, not at all, but at the same time, those Nokia phones were VERY limited in comparison to the phones that are available now. Maybe I would give them a phone by 17 or 18, especially for emergencies. Actually, 16 isn't a bad age, but I will make sure to have parental controls activated till they turn 18. I can also take away their phone and give them a very basic flip phone if they do something bad but then I feel like it's a bit much on the controlling side lol. But they really have to earn their phones in a sense lol. This is a tough one.

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop? Well, I remember using our home computers at 11 (our first ever with Windows 95 lol) so I guess it would be fine to have them young. Just make sure to have parental controls activated as much as possible and have separate accounts. One for kids and one for adults, personal.

#4 Age they can have social media? 18 plus.

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised? I was downloading porn by 17 lol. So yeah, probably 17. My parents TRUSTED me with a personal computer and so I will do the same. Trust is awesome between family.

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)? I don't condone smoking or alcohol in my house. Not if I can help it. I don't like that stuff. Never did. Drinking for social reasons is okay. Smoking no never.

#7 Curfew hours while under 18? Weekdays, probably 9 to 9:30 p. m. Weekends 10 - 10:30 p. m. But I know nobody is perfect. Just call if you're gonna be late so I know where you are and that you are safe and not somewhere clubbing and being irresponsible!

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection? My parents never really gave me the official birds and bees talk. They were that conservative and so left me to figure things out for myself. Same with my older brother. So I don't know. Maybe 16 or when they have questions. I want them to know that they can come to me and that I will not judge them. But I would prefer they wait till they find someone that loves them and built that trust. I would also preferably like to meet them and their family some day. But I think this kind of thing is a process. It's not just a one day and done type of thing. It really depends on their age and what they know already, what they may be curious about. But really, sex is so simple. There is really no rocket science to it! If ya horny, you do it! Hopefully with someone that loves and respects you, and wants to protect you. Normally that would be your husband or fiancé that you've known for some time. Also, I know that schools do give the "talk" and they did that at my school at age 12. That was fun. It was in an auditorium in 1996 full of other "yet to hit puberty" type of kids. I was one year ahead of them because I repeated the first grade from coming from a different country so I already had my monthly by the time they had that "Mother and Daughter Tea Party".

If my child happens to be a son, I will let my husband decide or, if I am a single mother, then someone that is a male role model.

#9 Age you might buy them a car? My parents bought me a car at 18 but it was really old and it was salvaged. That wasn't a really a good decision in my opinion but it is what it is. ... Maybe if they got a job or are attending college, I could help with that purchase. They do need a car, especially where I live, things are kinda far apart, unless you want to bike in severe weather. There's no subway where I live but there's uber/lyft, which took over the taxi industry. But overall, probably 18, especially if I can see the need for it. I wouldn't buy them a car that was used like mine though, maybe a little nicer and newer. I care about how my child looks lol. I know I was embarrassed by my clunker. But sadly, that was all my parents could afford. We weren't rich.

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash? In the Philippines, we have this "coming of age" party called a Debut. It's like a Mexican Family's Quincenera but three years older. I prefer that one because who is a woman at 15 lol. But yeah, a lot of Mexicans mature physically early I guess lol. So either 18 or 21. That is usually a big deal for someone. They are LUCKY if they have that. Not every family can afford a big bash. Like mine, I never had one because they couldn't really afford one for me. Oh and yeah, I know about sweet sixteens. That was even a reality show on MTV lol.

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door? People deserve privacy, even kids. I could close my door at 6. Just don't lock it maybe lol. And we parents have to have the key. Especially if under 15.

I was a shy teenager so you wouldn't find me with a guy in my bedroom anyway, so if my child/children would be anything like me, I wouldn't have anything to worry about lol. I was more into the Sims and a lot of harmless things.

#12 Age they can stay home alone? I was home alone by 10. But it wasn't like for days on end. So yeah, I think it would depend on the personality and if they knew what to do in emergencies, the number to call, and probably the hours/days, you'll be gone. Trust and observing/accessing your child's capabilities is crucial/key.

#13 Age they should start working? Whenever they want something? I don't know, I had my first job (official) at 19 working at the mall for Santa's VIillage back in the early 2000's. That was fun. I did that for two seasons! I also helped my mom out at her job when she was working for a Men's Clothing Company. They allowed me to put together their Pant catalog that summer. That was fun. I guess it's whenever they think they are ready. I will not pressure them. I was not pressured and I very much appreciate my parents for not pressuring me like that. I had enough to deal with as a young adult with college and coming of age.

[DizzyDesii]

#2 lmao might get them a nokia tracfone until they reach middle school haha #6 i agree. I dont even drink socially #8 yea i ddint get the talk until my 20s which was way too late #10 yea im familiar with quincienera and and sweet 16 but nice to learn about the Debut.

[Jamie05rhs]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date?

12

Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters?

Nope! I don't believe in double standards.

#2 Age they can have a phone?

Probably age 8. But they're not getting a smartphone, period, until they graduate.

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop?

They can have their own computer when they're maybe 10. (Before then they can use their own account on the family desktop.) But there will be restrictions on it. I would MAYBE let them have their own tablet. Or maybe just a family tablet that was shared.

#4 Age they can have social media?

Not happening. Period. I want them to live in the REAL world and make REAL LIFE connections!

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised?

Never lol. I wouldn't even let my OWN self use the internet unsupervised! My wife would have my records. Lol

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)?

Over my dead body!!

#7 Curfew hours while under 18?

I don't really believe in curfew. I'd take each situation on a case-by-case basis.

Generally speaking, though, I guess it would be good for them to be in bed by 11.

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection?

Age 8. (But no, they're not getting condoms from me. My kids would be expected to keep their clothes on and keep their hands to themselves. That would be made VERY clear!

#9 Age you might buy them a car?

16 or 17, I guess. Their Junior year.

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash?

EVERY year!! 😃

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door?

Any age. But I can damn well open it whenever I want to!

#12 Age they can stay home alone?

Hmm. Probably 13 for the boys and 17 for the girls. (I would be watching those wifi-conncected cameras, though!)

#13 Age they should start working?

Depends. I wouldn't force my kids to get a job. But I wouldn't forbid them from getting one, either.

[DizzyDesii]

#2 until they graduate 😂 lmao thats funny... but smart
#5 wowz
#12 you're next level strict 😂 where is the trust haha

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii
#2. I just know how big of a distraction these things are. I don't want that to derail their grades.

#5. Hey, it's the truth! 🤷

#12. What trust? Why should I trust a teenager? I ain't stupid.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Lucy68 Since you're always asking about how people would parent their teens lol...

[DizzyDesii]

she's blocked so she can't come to the phone rn

[SunnyRS]

#1 Age where they're allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters?

Ans: It depends more on their maturity level in judging people but not earlier than 16 that's for sure.
And it will be same for both sons and daughters but I would never like the guy who is interested in my daughter. 😅😅

#2 Age they can have a phone?

Actually that doesn't depends on me nowadays kids now even have classes on the phone so it has become a necessity so probably when they start needing it for classes.

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop?

13 or 14 birthday but with restricted internet and time usage.

#4 Age they can have social media?

15 or 16 at least in these two years they will know which social media is good or not.

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised?

Not until they are married. 😅😅
Just kidding probably the same time they use social media.

#6 Age you don't mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)?

In our house drinking and smoking is not something we do, so that's not going to happen until they start living on their own.

#7 Curfew hours while under 18?

10-10:30 p. m

#8 Age you intend to give "the talk" and/or provide protection?

Before they learn it from the internet.
So, around 13 or 14

#9 Age you might buy them a car?

When they graduate college.

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash?

Every year, they are my kids anything for them, as long as I am able to do it.

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door?

When they want their separate room and aren't scared.

#12 Age they can stay home alone?

That's tricky cause I will always feel anxious if my kids will be alone at home but maybe around 15.

#13 Age they should start working?

Whenever they feel they are confident enough.
Or when they complete their college and I kick them out of the house and say bring me back 10 times the money I spend on your college. 😅😅

[DizzyDesii]

#1 haha totally understandable
#2 what thats crazy
#6 same here
#9 wow i meant graduate Hs lol

[the_sinner]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters?

At least 18+ or when they're in college.

#2 Age they can have a phone?

14+, But I get to take the phone back for the 2nd half of the day.

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop?

14+, only foe educational purpose. During college they'll have their personal laptops anyway.

#4 Age they can have social media?

If they wish to post something interesting/artistic I can allow that as early as possible but I'd still monitor their social media presence.

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised?

18+, During college.

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)?

I'd always mind if they smoke and I won't mind if they drink until they have a family of their own. Probable 25+

#7 Curfew hours while under 18?

10 pm if they have some event/ party/ classes, otherwise 8 pm

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection?

13+, maybe even earlier. We can never be too careful. I'd make it subtle for them because I personally haven't received the talk from my conservative parents and will never will and I don't wanna skip that part for my kid. I'm not sure if I'll be providing them protection myself. I guess they'll figure it out themselves and I guess they should buy protection on their own without feeling awkward. If they can buy sanitary pads for themselves then protection shouldn't be that difficult.

#9 Age you might buy them a car?

LoL I ain't buying a car for them. I'll motivate them to become successful and buy a car for themselves. Best I can do is give my old one to them if I'm going to buy a second one.

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash?

14-16

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door?

They can close their bedroom door only when the AC's on otherwise probably never Lol

#12 Age they can stay home alone?

Not age defined. Only when I feel they're responsible and mature enough.

#13 Age they should start working?

As early as possible preferably during late teenage years.

[DizzyDesii]

#2 but they technically won't be on it at school lol

[the_sinner]

True. I just don’t want them to get addicted to it.

[DizzyDesii]

How often do you out yours down lol

[the_sinner]

Rn I’m addicted to this myself 😂
But as a teenager I didn’t get my own phone until high school

[melanieeeB]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? No matter the gender, I think kids should have nothing to do with dating until they're 16, ideally 17
#2 Age they can have a phone? New time and age with 7/8 but with my controll and kid surveillance apps
#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop? 10 and up, again with surveillance apps
#4 Age they can have social media? 15
#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised? 15
#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking - never /drinking - 18 (legal age)?
#7 Curfew hours while under 18? When it gets dark
#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” - 11/12 I guess
provide protection? - the moment they have their first boyfriend/girlfriend
#9 Age you might buy them a car? - when needed and nessecary
#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash? - only if they really want to
#11 Age they can close their bedroom door? Always
#12 Age they can stay home alone? - 8 for a short time and all alone 12-ish
#13 Age they should start working? When it's time lol maybe 17?

[DizzyDesii]

#1 true #12 i agree

[Agape93]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date?
Gender doesn't matter, but date when you want within reason. A 12 year old shouldn't date a 17 year old, and a 17 year old shouldn't be dating anyone over 18.


#2 Age they can have a phone?
They will once they reach middle school but it will be monitored


#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop?
Same as above, but it will be in the living room


#4 Age they can have social media?
No


#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised? When they move out


#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking?
Long as it's home and you smoke outside, I don't care


#7 Curfew hours while under 18?
When it gets dark


#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and provide protection?
When they reach puberty for both


#9 Age you might buy them a car?
Lol I'm not getting them a car


#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash?
No idea


#11 Age they can close their bedroom door?
Always


#12 Age they can stay home alone?
With the computer and phone off, when they can cook and do their chores on their own


#13 Age they should start working?
No later than 18

[DizzyDesii]

#1 yea the age gaps are important

[iron_ninjs]

#1 when they turn 14-15 at least.
#2 They can have a phone after they turn 10, but only under supervision until a certain age.
#3 Laptop as soon as they need it for school.
#4 Social media at 14-15. Not under that age, and it's nonnegotiable.
#5 Probably around 14-15 as well.
#6 I'd rather they don't smoke, but if they do, at 18. Alcohol youngest at 16, maybe 18. But ideally never. And no drugs.
#7 under 18 curfew until 1am, with regular checkups.
#8 around 10-11 for the talk. Don't understand the bit about protection.
#9 car at 17
#10 birthday bash at 18, because we don't celebrate sweet sixteens, but the 18th birthday.
#11 whenever they want
#12 when they're over 18, or are able to take care for themselves in every aspect.
#13 after college for a salary. They should try working some jobs before that. And by that I mean jobs like a mechanic, handyman, and that sort of stuff. Because, if they learned that, they'll be able to do something, if they don't finish college.

[iron_ninjs]

Forgot to mention, I don't have kids, but I want to have kids.

[DizzyDesii]

Wait #7 they can stay out til 1am? Even cities have limits to where kids can't be in the movies or mall after 9pm without an adult, so what would your under 18 kids be doing til 1am?

[iron_ninjs]

I'm not from the US. Where I'm from, that's a normal time for teens and young adults to stay out. The people that like to visit pubs stay until 4-5am 😂 Plus, here, we start going out at 9-10pm.
It's interesting that that's the only thing that caught your eye. 😅

[DizzyDesii]

It caught my eye because it was one of the few things i disagreed with

[iron_ninjs]

Well, it's different for everyone. When I was 15 I could stay until 11pm. At 16 it was midnight. At 17 and above, it was whenever I want. My parents saw that they could trust me. And that's how it's going to be with my kids.

[DizzyDesii]

Again, for me its not about trust but the fact that in certain states, you can’t even be out past 9p without an adult chaperone and there really is nothing here in the US for someone under 18 to be out that late doing, especially on a school night. But i understand you claim its different in your country

[iron_ninjs]

Sorry, I didn't realize it was like that in the US.
And it's not like that on school nights, just on the weekends.

[iron_ninjs]

Guess I misunderstood what you were saying.

[beebella]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters? - I guess they can go on actual dates when they're around 13-14, but if I feel like things are getting too serious, we're going to have a long talk. 😂

#2 Age they can have a phone? - Probably 11-12

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop? - That depends. Tablet for games and stuff, probably any age is fine. I think 15, at the earliest, for laptops.

#4 Age they can have social media? - Never. Lmao

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised? - I want to say 17, but we'll see. 😂

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)? - Tobacco? Never. 😂 I probably wouldn't mind if they smoked a little weed, as long as it doesn't stink up my house. 😂 As far as drinking, I feel like I'd at least expect it to happen by 15.

#7 Curfew hours while under 18? - 10pm is a reasonable time, I think.

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection? - Probably when they hit puberty or whenever they start asking questions.

#9 Age you might buy them a car? - Probably never. 😂

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash? - Could be any age, really. 🤷‍♀️

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door? - One day old. Lmao

#12 Age they can stay home alone? - For more than a few hours? I guess 16.

#13 Age they should start working? - 16, if they want to.

[DizzyDesii]

#1 too serious as in commitment or sex? #4 haha ikr

[beebella]

Both could be a problem, I suppose. 🤔😂

[Anonymous]

#1 18 years old; doesn’t differ for sons or daughters

#2 13 years old; but not a smartphone/or a smartphone with restrictions.

#3 13 years old but it stays at home and also has restrictions.

#4 16 years old - also with restrictions.

#5 Unsupervised… probably around 15/16 but I want to educate them intensively prior to this.

#6 No smoking or drinking but they probably won’t want to

#7 9:45 pm

#8 I’ll provide basic sexual education from as young as 7-8 even; but the actual ‘talk’ will probably be around 13 or whenever they will need it. They’ll hopefully be abstinent but of course will be educated on protection

#9 Whatever age they pass their test

#10 I’ll throw them lots of big birthday parties

#11 Age 10? It can be earlier I think they are entitled to privacy but I also think I will create a culture where they wouldn’t feel the obligation to close it

#12 Home alone at age 14+

#13 There’s no age they ‘should’ start working but if they want to work then I think the legal minimum is 14?

[DizzyDesii]

#2 lol one of those tracfones? It was my first one at 12 🤣 it had the little tetris game on it #3 yea especially since schools serve their own. #8 basics like what? Physical anatomy? #11 yea i didn't even want to close mine until i started havin dudes talk dirty to me 😂 #13 i said should because a lot of people want their kids to start very early. I personally dont want anything interfering with their school work

[Opinion Owner]

2. I wasn’t aware of those tracfones bc I’m not American but it’ll likely be something similar 3. Yes exactly 8. Yes physical anatomy and stuff like that I think it’s important for children to know and while it is ‘sex’ education it doesn’t have to be inherently sexual if you get what I mean 13. I feel exactly the same yeah

[Anonymous]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters?

Both 17

#2 Age they can have a phone?

Age 12

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop?

Age 12

#4 Age they can have social media?

Age 17

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised?

Age 17

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)?

Not a chance

#7 Curfew hours while under 18?

7 pm

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection?

Once they hit puberty right away

#9 Age you might buy them a car?

No

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash?

I won’t make birthday bashes a thing in this household. Just give them their gifts, and bday lunch (special homemade food) at home with family and friends.

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door?

Once they turned 1

#12 Age they can stay home alone?

Age 12 and if theyre able to do chores n shit

#13 Age they should start working?

I don’t mind after they finish university

[DizzyDesii]

#6 ikr #7 wow thats early lol

[electromagnetic]

1. 16 to date

2. 12 to have a smart phone. Before then, they can have a Nokia 9000 no problem. It makes phone calls.

3. iPad, whenever. Their iCloud will be linked to mine. Laptop/computer. 16 in their room.

4&5 - 16 years old

6. legal drinking age of where we are living.

7. 10 PM curfew from 14-18. Before then, home at sunset.

8. the talk at 12. The predator assessment as early as they can understand.

9. they can have a car when they have a full license.

10. 18 when they have their own funding and can remember the experience.

11. 14 as long as they aren’t slamming my doors or inside with their boyfriend/girlfriend

12. 13 to stay home alone. No answering doors though.

13. I don’t expect my children to work until they are ready and comfortable to take that opportunity on. It’s a lot of pressure to balance highschool life and work. I’ll always be there to support them. And I’m humbly fortunate enough that my earnings will be enough.

[DizzyDesii]

#2 lmao thats what i said 😂
#8 yea its sad we have to have the predator talk these days
#11 i can hear you now “DID YOU JUST SLAM MY MF DOOR!”
#13 i fully agree. I just want them to try working their senior year summers to gain some job experience because i didn't start working until after college and that was too late for experience

[electromagnetic]

I know for a fact they didn’t try and slam my mf door. 😂

[DizzyDesii]

🤣🤣🤣

[CateM]

1 around 15. No difference between boys and girls

2 around 11

3 they'd have to buy the tablet

4 I'm not sure

5 15 or 16

6 I hope they'd wait till 21 to drink. Preferably they never smoke

7 I'm not sure

8 As soon as they're old enough to understand it

9 I might help buy the car, but I wouldn't pay for all of it. 18

10 I'd throw a birthday party but nothing too over the top

11 To sleep at night, 0. With someone else, 18 and when they're 18, all I ask is that they keep it down in there

12 10

13 As soon as they're ready

[DizzyDesii]

#3 oh wow lol #6 i agree #9 that makes sense

[ChillaxingLove]

1. age 16 for both

2. age 16 so I can take it away if they do wrong

3. Age 16 for tablet and laptop

4. When they leave my house

5. Age 18

6. Age 20

7. 7pm anything more you need to ask for my permission

8. Age 12, I’m not dumb I know the world is teaching them super early.

9. Age 17

10. Age 18

11. Age 10 when by themselves, but friends in the room with them = door always open no matter age

12. Age 16

13. The earliest I will allow is 14. Enjoy being a kid, but learning hard work is good

[ChillaxingLove]

I’m an information tech pro so I know how to black social media on phone lol

[DizzyDesii]

Oh wow haha

[Miristheiss]

1. No dating until 16

2. Phone, around 14

3. They already have one, the school supplies it.

4. 16

5. Internet, I'll always keep tabs on that.

6. Smoking, not while under my roof, a full drink... at 21.

7. Curfew 10... probably 11 when they are 17.

8. Talk, about 10. Protection, I won't provide.

9. Car, maybe 16-17.

10. 16 and 18.

11. Anytime. however, never with a boyfriend or girlfriend in there.

12. How long alone? Long periods 13-15. For an hour or two, maybe 8 or 9.

13. 16 or older.

[DizzyDesii]

Great answers!

[AviatorTom]

#1 Age where they’re allowed to date? 14 when supervised, 16 otherwise Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters? same

#2 Age they can have a phone? 16

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop? 10

#4 Age they can have social media? 14

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised? 14

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)? never

#7 Curfew hours while under 18? 11pm

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection? there is no "talk", you explain sex to your kids in stages as they grow, starting at a very young age

#9 Age you might buy them a car? 18 (senior year high school, they need to contribute)

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash? 5

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door? 1

#12 Age they can stay home alone? 8

#13 Age they should start working? 14, part-time

[DizzyDesii]

#1 oh wow i didn't know people still chaperone but thats probably a good thing
#11 😂

[AviatorTom]

#11 - It's important to teach kids about privacy, and that's best done at an early age. Just because the door is closed doesn't mean parents don't have access... they can always knock first.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea that didn’t fly here 😂 (and i dont just mean my household). It was a common statement of “This is my house and...” so on. So doors had to be open and parents only knocked (even with an open door) if they assumed you were getting dressed

[Ms_Facesitter]

1- 14

2- 14. They can get a watch before that so I can track them, but if they screw that up, that phone will have to wait.

3- When they saved enough. Until then they can

4- 14, but I'm still scared to death of that. When you see some questions here, how gullible people are... I've got to set them straight from the get go.

5- 16 up to 18 depending on how they've been behaving up to that point.

6- I mind. that's the problem. There will be No smoking. Hell will rain down on them if I catch them smoking or with cigarettes. They can drink, but come home drunk and the same will happen.

7- 9 pm or 10 pm. Again kind of scared to death but you can't keep them inside, you can only prepare them and teach them what right and wrong, what's dangerous and what's not.

8- 16.

9- 21

10- 16 but I'll ask them about it, because I didn't want one.

11- 14

12- 12 Twelve Twelve!

13- 14

[DizzyDesii]

#2 oh wow i didn't even think about a tracker 🤣 my kid gettin a pager lol #4 so true #6 i agree about that smoking haha

[Anpu23]

1 Age where they’re allowed to date? Does it differ for the sons vs the daughters? 16 or when they get their driver's license. No difference between genders

#2 Age they can have a phone? Never delt with this but 13 serms a good age.

#3 Age they can have a tablet or laptop? 13

#4 Age they can have social media? 15

#5 Age they can use the internet unsupervised? 17

#6 Age you don’t mind them smoking/drinking (even if under the legal)? 18

#7 Curfew hours while under 18? 10 school nights 12 weekends unless something very specific (concert or sleep over)

#8 Age you intend to give “the talk” and/or provide protection? 12

#9 Age you might buy them a car? Never buy your own

#10 Age you may throw them a big birthday bash? 13

#11 Age they can close their bedroom door? After they are 7 or so

#12 Age they can stay home alone? 12

#13 Age they should start working? 17 unless going to school (earning or learning)

[DizzyDesii]

#1 license so they can take themselves on the date? Lol #2 well then what age did you buy them a phone? Or did they buy their own? #9 makes sense but i think its so cute to give a car when they graduate #11 oh wow they must be brave. I didn't even want to shut my door til i was 15 🤣

[Anpu23]

1 exactly, 2 I dont remember sorry 11 everyone needs a bit of privacy