Is it possible to forgive someone who truly believes they are never in the wrong (or are just too proud to admit it)?

[Anonymous]

I got an issue with a direct family member.

I have setup a boundary with them for 6 years now. I only see and briefly talk to this person during holidays and family get togethers. Never talk to them otherwise

I offered to sit down with this person face to face to get my issues with them out. But she refused to do it. I just want her to own up to her crap and past abuse. You can’t change the past but can own up to it.

Also I want her to respect me more moving forward. I have noticed that she hasn’t improved with age. She was still treating me the same way as 20 years ago despite me being a full grown fully independent adult.

I will always love this person because they are family. It’s possible to love yet still not like someone. She just doesn’t understand the difference.

[jennifer_bloom]

Your view makes sense, my cousin still hates me because she did not like my personality 15 years ago, she has no clue who I am now since we have not had a single conversation in the last 15 years despite her visiting my mom 2-5 times a day at my house before the pandemic started. My mom also hates me cause she never wanted children and she is angry at me for being an extra mouth to feed when I was a child. I am letting God deal with her, it's not my job to micromanage how my enemies are punished.

[Asker]

The issue I have is with my mother. She brought me into this world so she will always have my love and respect for that.

But my reason for putting up a boundary is well justified. It’s very complicated but I know beyond I had to draw the line somewhere. However I do not enjoy it at all. But it’s actually a very heavy burden and i am sick of carrying it.

I wish she would just give me my time to talk to her directly like adults. But she refuses because deep down she’s afraid that I am right about a lot of things. She’s scared of somehow losing “power” if she is forced to own up to her crap.

[Midgetmcwidget]

Judaism isn’t about forgiveness it’s an eye for an eye. If I don’t want to respond atm I just wait until I have something equal. Never forgive and never forget

[Asker]

Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. We are talking about my own mother here by the way. Not an easy situation to fix.

[Guy13]

Forgiveness is a matter in one's own heart and is both a vertical and horizontal relationship. It takes both to forgive the "unforgivable".