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My friend is always overthinking and I'm so sick of it. Her and I don't talk that much anymore, and I just had my birthday and didn't want to have her there, just the friends I'm close to. I didn't message her on her birthday either.
We did talk earlier this year about our birthdays and doing them together, but I'm not obligated to follow-through with those plans. This girl used to be my best friend but we drifted.
After my birthday happened and I posted it on my social media, she sent me a long message saying the friendship is done for her. She says I "lead her on" and that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Is she overreacting? It's just a birthday.
She has also overthank situations in the past where I've had to tell her she is, she said I was being "mean to her" when I was just being honest. Should I drop her?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Very true, you’re not obligated to follow through with any plans. But these feelings you have towards her aren’t new, so why agree to do the birthdays together in the first place? Maybe you aren’t good with confrontation and/or feel bad rejecting something so you have a hard time doing so, which I get because I’m the same way. But now you’ve put yourself in a position to look like a jerk, and I don’t say that offensively. Even if you don’t feel bad, or are sick of your friendship with her, you’ve hurt her feelings when that could’ve been avoided. At one point you cared a lot about her and clearly she cares about you, so if you can find it within yourself or feel even a bit of care towards her, I’d reach out and apologize. Tell her you didn’t realize it would be such a big deal because for you it’s not (because you probably wouldn’t care if you were invited to her party). Then let her know that you need some space. I don't know what your relationship has been through but if all she’s really done is overthink and get on your nerves, not wrong you or do some unforgivable shit, then you could put your pride aside just this once.
Yes, because it sounds like she wants to end things too.