Is it still wrong to spit on a person's grave if they were an awful person?

[Anonymous]

My paternal aunt (dad's older sister) died several years ago. I visited her grave and spat on it. I said out loud that it's great that she's dead and how much I've been waiting for that moment.

She treated my mother like garbage, never owned up to her wrongs, nearly sabotaged my parents' marriage by telling lies about dad having an affair (it was confirmed a total lie), stole money from others, etc. She was a lost cause, an awful person.

[Apinya97]

On one hand I feel like you should have been the better person and been more dignified, despite your feelings. But on the other hand I do not have your experience of this person and what they have done, so maybe your actions were justified. So on one hand I don’t agree with what you did, but on the other hand I cannot judge you for this because I haven’t lived in your shoes to understand. As long as you are at peace with your actions and they are justifiable to yourself, then you can move on a happier person, which I hope you do.

[Asker]

Thank you. That was my only and last visit. I was glad when she died. Yet, my father still cried and mourned her death. To him, she was still his older sister that would take care of him when he was a baby and very early childhood years; she was 7 years older than him.
To me, my mother and others, she was a vile disgusting person.

[Kori1236]

Nope. I deliberately didn’t go to my grandfathers (moms side) funeral because I knew I’d dance on his grave. He was an abusive fuck that absolutely tormented me as a child I’m glad he’s gone

[Asker]

Good. No everyone that dies deserves peaceful talks. I'm glad my nasty aunt is dead. She was nasty to my mother for years and never repented, never showed remorse.

[Asker]

My father is one of the few members that obviously feels different. He still cried over her death. To him, that was still his sister.

[Kori1236]

And thats fair, it’s still family. But I kicked the family members that disregarded what he actually was and painted him as a saint instead out of my life long ago. My mom of course keeps in contact with her family despite how abusive her father was to her as well. And it doesn’t help that her brother is just like him.

[exitseven]

I would have done more than spit. I know somebody that when he dies I plan on taking a big dump on his grave.

[Asker]

Great. I should've done that. I think I should've urinated on it.
The only one of the few family members that was crying was obviously my dad. He still felt sad for her death. To him, that was still older sister. She used to take care of him when he was a baby and toddler; she was 7 years older than him.
Oh well.. I don't feel that. I'm glad she's dead.

[exitseven]

thanks for the MHO😎

[slatyb]

Literally? It's a non-event. "Spitting on the grave" means to criticize the recently departed.

[joeldalton]

so she’s dead. She doesn’t care that you spit on her grave. She doesn’t care you’re glad she’s dead. However you’re still keeping her in your head and your hatred is harming your psyche.

[Asker]

I guess it's a way to say my speech to her and how much I've always hated her.

[exitseven]

you have a point.

[joeldalton]

And if now you can be at peace, fine.

[Surely]

If it is something that makes your life more whole and complete. Then do it. But it would be better to do that in private. People will judge!

[Anonymous]

Eh, I would have a slightly higher bar for spitting on someone's grave. But then my father was an incestuous pedophile; so I am probably biased for a higher bar.

[4ngelic]

not at all lol

[Asker]

yeah I'm glad she's dead