At what point can a child have their own opinion without it being seen as backtalking?

[Anonymous]

I think this would be an unstable household. If I disagree on something and tried voicing my own opinion in a civilized manner, it was seen as backtalking already. So basically I had to agree to everything they did or said, even on something I really believe was unfair, not right.

For instance, I didn't like the way my parents once treated a Mexican maid. They treated her badly for that reason. They're straight forward racists but I was just 10 and had to keep my mouth shut.

I can understand a spoiled brat that gives their parents attitude and screaming after being kindly asked to help around the house. That wasn't the case with me.

Updates

1 y

I felt as if I didn't have any voice as a kid nor during my early-mid teen years. Even a kind, disagreement (just for the reason I'm already disagreeing with them) was considered me challenging them and backtalking.

[worldscolide]

I had an ex that treated me like your parents treated you.. I kid you not, I was not allowed to back talk her or contradict (disagree with) her.. Suffice it to say she was violent when I did either of those things. I absolutely am happy I got away from her, and thank God I never had kids with her.

[Asker]

That's an awful relationship. In my case, I was happy after turning 18 and moving out of the house.

[In_Trance]

When they've done enough research to have a valid reason for their opinion and understand that not everyone is going to agree with them; in which case, it doesn't become an argument

[Asker]

The good thing is google and youtube makes it easier nowadays than in the past.

[Astarlessnightsky]

At age 5~7, this is when kids start having their own opinion not bound directly to the parents.

[Astarlessnightsky]

"backtalking" is an opionion the parents have.