Have any of your parents criticized or yelled at you for not dressing conservatively? For the first time in my life I’m confident about my body because I’ve been working out, but when I come back home from college my dad insults my clothes and says what I’m wearing is disgusting and inappropriate. I’ll show pics of the stuff I wear. After this summer I’m probably not going to come back home for more than a week because I can’t deal with this anymore. If I was 15 I’d understand but I’m 22. Are these clothes revealing? Obviously I wear different colors etc but this is the gist of the type of stuff I wear
Dad thinks the clothes I wear are too revealing and inappropriate. I’m 22. Are these clothes revealing?
Unless your gut is hanging out or not wearing a bra or have flabby arms or deformation or scaring then obviously the problem is that your father needs some corrective brain surgery to be able to function as a human being because clearly his mental state has drastically deteriorated over time and I wouldn't be suprised if he was painting small model statues like elfs to put in the garden and probably wears some hidious cloths like a wollen jumper and has tears in the seems of his cloths. So his personal issue is clearly a reflection of how people view him and no doubt if you're gym fit, then his probably over weight, so if this sounds like your father then you're not the issue and he is clearly reflecting comments petrayed on him on an ongoing basis and clearly its not healthy for your state of mind from being focused on showing your body.
here's an idea. Wear some pink soaks and ask him if he thinks theyre disgusting. I would press the point until he confuses that theyre disgusting to make him say it or be prepared by buying some pink soaks in his size to say you want to see him wearing them.
Clearly there seems to be no context towards being conservative at all to make your statement irrelevant based on claiming your cloths are disgusting with nothing to do with indesency but he could potentually be used to supermodels with sculped figures and busy jerking off to porn to be quick to criticise you of being anything less but the question is, is he talking about you or your cloths because technically it has nothing to do with what you're wearing at all but dirty clothing, like being covered in food or dirt but it would probably be better to start at shit (human or animal feaces) or vomit.
Be specific with him. Your question at this point is completely useless without getting the facts!
I can only assume that you're over imbelishing on your physical development to be a bit fat but there's nothing wrong with that but at the same time, there's nothing wrong with someone picking on you until you cover up to infact be indecent or to get in shape which can take years and even the worlds supermodels dedicate hours of training over a decade but simply get paid for modeling based on there gens to allow them to work out every day instead of having a real job 9-5 for regular people to simply not have the time for the hours of training daily but more hard core training is anywhere from 4-8hrs every day as well as managing daily intake with a lot or expense towards protien formulated intake.
Now, as far as the whore-ific morals and values of people today and the sleaziness of hook up, F-around culture... there are many worse outfits but yours is still overly sexual.
He probably has your best interest in mind. What is going on in your psychology that you can't wear nice, stylish clothes that aren't showing your stomach, shoulders and low cut on your breasts?
You are going to attract an armada of guys trying to hook up with you and nail you.
Your dad probably wants you to stay away from F boys and players and he wants guys to find you beautiful but respect you. He doesn't want you around guys that see you as a body to hook up with and dump. He probably wants to keep you from getting knocked up and dumped and wants you to find a guy who would want to marry you and have a family. The more you make yourself an object the more men that will treat you like an object. He knows how men are and it is like spilling blood in the water full of sharks.
He wants you to look classy and beautiful and not like a hook up chick.
I don't find them revealing. My father would even help me pick crop tops, backless tops, mini skirts and shorts, cute sundresses or cute LBDs even when I grew up but he'd still say I look adorable rather than that's roo revealing so I guess it depends on every individual how they see certain clothes?
You should have a conversation with your father and tell him that people are going to hit on you and look at you even if you wear loose covered clothes some people would still notice you and approach you. So, it's not fair to stop yourself from wearing what you want since you worked hard to be fit. Assure him you know how to handle if someone approaches you for the wrong reasons.
@strateguy632 You're a great dad. There's nothing work with crop top. I mean where I'm from every woman used to wear saree decades ago basically it shows your midriff, your belly and all. It's seen as feminine, not sexy. So, anyone who wears crop top is cute/pretty to me. I wouldn't say it looks very revealing. The only clothes I find revealing are if the skirt is so short, they can see your innerwear. Or if most of your breasts is exposed when you bend down, then I'd understand why a father would be worried or something considering how many creeps are there.
If you haven't before, it's best to talk to your dad, my dad was the same way. Due to my chest size a lot of shirts showed how big they were, and my dad would always complain until I showed him it will happen no matter what by wearing a men's 4xl tshirt, you can still tell that my boobs are huge and men was still staring. After that day he stopped and I went back to wearing women shirts my size.
You gotta be a real prude to think a crop top and jeans is revealing lol. You dress the same as pretty much every other 22 year old. A lot of teens dress like that too.
At the end of the day, you’re an adult and you can dress how you choose. Even if you wore super revealing clothing, that’s your choice. Parents need to realize that their kids are gonna grow up and they can’t control what they wear or do forever.
They're fine for an adult, though it would have been inappropriate if you wore the last two and you were minor. But that's how every dad thinks. My dad will do a dress code check on me and stare at me from head to toe and do a bit modifications otherwise if he is satisfied he'll approve it and let me go to school or coaching centre.
Tbh if I was your age it’d 100% be understandable… but I see no reason for it past the age of 20. I wouldn’t mind a little disapproving comment but yelling I mind
You should talk with you dad about this, and how you feel about this. He's not wrong from his side nor are you so gently make him understand that you're an adult and you're not even wearing as much exposed clothes as he is describing it.
@apulu_imback You're being too nice to the Dad. He's being an imbecile and overreacting. Sometimes I think parents forget their children aren't children anymore. If it was super revealing I could see him being uncomfortable but regardless she's an adult. Have more babies if you want to dress them up.
@Friendlybro79 I never said that I agree with her dad. I was just stating that the dad from her side is not having any wrong intention but he needs to learn she's an adult and accept her choice and this can achieved when they have a calm talk about this. And if he doesn't agree still, he's being possessive and doesn't respect her or has full intentions to judge her but the asker only knows her dad better than any of us so only she can make this judgement.
Tell dad you are an adult female of hormonal breeding age of which you are trying to locate a suitable male companion and this is the attire such females in your culture wear, if not substantially "more severe".
Personally I don't find them inappropriate, but have you considered respecting your father's wishes and wearing something more conservative while you're visiting? It's not like you can't change into slightly more revealing clothes when you're not visiting your parents.
For instance, I don't swear around my parents because they don't like it and they did a lot to raise me so at the very least I can be respectful to them.
@msc545 She didn't raise her father from a baby though. It's such a trivial thing to reduce friction with your parents who aren't going to be alive forever and show some respect for the people who raised you. It's not like she's being asked to dress in a burka at all times, just show a little less skin around your parents. Maybe it's just because I'm older now and don't care about being rebellious for no reason and want to enjoy the time I have left with my parents.
@msc545 lmao, it's clothing, it's not life or death. I guess if your main concern in life is causing as much friction as possible with your family, then yeah it's super important.
They look fine , with all due respect he is just being extremely over protective father , and I can understand that , he has a great looking daughter in her prime , dont worry about it , he will come around over time..
Think of it this way , its kinda nice that he gives a sht ! Particularly like the top photo.
Yeah it's time your Dad learns you're an adult. You're not wearing anything inappropriate.. I'm not sure if you live home still when you're not in school but it might be time to leave the den if he won't stop criticizing you.
I can respect a parent saying my house my rules if you're living with a parent but even that has some boundaries or should at least. I'm not sure why parents think they can tell an adult how to dress.
It's not and is in a way ( could always wear a long thing like a cardign to cover over ur shoulders), but maybe in your culture it's considerate inappropriate & revealing. However In North America it's normal to wear these, I see lots of young girls with this fashion
I have the same problem, I love wearing different types of outifts and my family's quite conservative. I had to put on blazer every time they see me. Same feels, girl.. 😭😂
Let’s just say, if it were my daughter, I wouldn’t like it. The clothes themselves aren’t that revealing, but going around braless, nah. I’m glad my girls weren’t into clothes like these.
Wear whatever you want. Pfft if that's revealing then my city must just be full of naked people as many girls here wear much less or stuff that expresses their assets more.
When you are outside the house... that's a difficult question. But if you are living in your parent's home, then yes I think they have a right to not accept your behavior even if you are outside the house.
But when theyre outside or at their bfs house their parents can't exactly tell them what to do there
Aswell as if ur paying towards staying there i think u have some right. For instance my mum doesn't like me having some of my stuff in the front room (which she hardly ever uses and never has visitors) but i think its unfair as i pay towards the bills
If your parents' don't know what you are doing at your boyfriend's house then of course they won't be able to complain about it. I am talking about things they do know. They have a right to say that you either follow their rules or you must move out. I think the best way to understand it is to realize that your home is you castle. You have a right to be free of people who are doing things that are upsetting you living in your home (whether they are contributing to the costs or not).
You can use the tv and the shower because that is within the rules.
You have a right to move out to a place where you can do anything you want. But if you choose to live in someone else's home you have an obligation to follow their rules. If you don't like them, that's okay. Get your own home and you can do whatever you want.
In my defence i can't move out because I've got a lot of health issues id probably die if i moved out lol but it still my defence if ur paying for things u should be able to do some stuff provided it doesn't look a mess
I'm sorry about your health issues. That must be difficult. I hear your case, but cannot agree with it. I think that if you are able, and the people who own the home you live in need the help, then it is your obligation to contribute to the costs. But I don't think that gives you a right to behave in a way they find unacceptable. It is not the same as renting a "flat" (I'm just guessing that's what they call an apartment where you live) from a stranger. When you do that you may have more rights. Although even then, there will be some behaviors that are prohibited.
Well, my parents are no angels. My dad can br abusive and my mums rather rude in general. How can i show them respect if they dont try and change their behaviour. I've challenged my mum many times, my dad does try to change but my mum doesn't. She literally tels me not to speak to her because i dont like the way she yells when she's literally next to me.
I dont know if youve read my qs about my crush, but i realized how wrong it was to do what i did to him and id give anything to put things right, he showed me so much kindness n respect but i didn't give it in return
I don't think it is your job to change your parents' behavior. I understand your desire to do so, but while you seem to see your attempt to do that a sign of respect, I'm not sure it is. I think maybe you should be focusing on your own behavior because you can't control other peoples' behavior but you can control your own.
I do not know anything about your relationship with your crush, but we all make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes by the time we learn we were making a mistake it is too late to change the damage that has already been done. You may or may not be in that situation I do not know. Hopefully there is still a chance that you can repair the relationship. But if not there is no other option than to lick your wounds and move on.
Some things seem impossible to face. But I have found in my own life that the bigger the challenge and the more fear I have of facing it, the more rewarding and liberating it becomes once I do.
Its turned me into a horrible person and make s living here like hell. Im miserable 90% of the time. Theyre my parents who r supposed to cre et my mum cts like she hates me n would rather i didn't exist
That sounds very difficult. Many people have a difficult time getting along with their parents. For most the remedy is to move out and start their own lives on their own. Many times that will lead to a better relationship when you are not so dependent on them. But with your situation that may not be an option. It's a difficult position to be in. I think the only way to deal with it is to do your best to find a way to be happy apart from your parents. Sometimes that can come from friends and other relationships. I must go now but if you would like to continue the conversation feel free to DM me. I will read your message next time I am here. In the meantime... I hope you can find a way to be happier. 😊
What you get is a place to live and food to eat. Freedom to dress as you please or do other things that the owners of the home object to is not part of the arrangement. But I am not being critical of you. It sounds like your situation is different than what the poster is talking about.
I don't disagree. But it all comes down to who owns the house. Whoever owns it has the right to make any rules they want. You can negotiate. But if an agreement cannot be reached you have to choose whether you want to stay or go. They have a right to make the rules in their own house and you have a right to leave if you are not satisfied with them. Again, I don't know much about your situation, so I am responding more about adults who are living in their parents' homes under typical circumstances not necessarily to your situation.
No I don’t think they are revealing. But you could always add an oversized cardigan or blouse or something. It will cover up a bit but still show off your outfit and shoulders if you want to.
The tops in the photos are sexy, but not overly revealing in my opinion. I think you should wear whatever you want. It's your body. He can wear whatever he wants.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Your 22 so I don’t think it matters. If you’re form KC I feel like I seen you somewhere. Lol. Odd that I remember seeing someone who looks just like you.
I'm a parent myself so I'll say this wear whatever you want, just be wear whats appropriate around your parents out of love and respect. Because someday you'll be the parent, and it keeps rolling and rolling and rolling on.
Your clothes are not revealing at all, he’s being an overprotective dad. But surely it’s not that much of a hardship to compromise for the short period of time you are living under his roof? Then when you return to college wear what you want.
You are an adult woman, and you can wear anything you like. You don't need your father's supervision or input - tell him this nicely but firmly. Keep in mind that his unconscious attraction to you (which is normal) is very upsetting to him.
Not to me, but dads are often highly protective of their daughters. That said, you're a grown woman, responsible for your attire. Politely tell him that you're not trying to be suggestive and you feel comfortable in your clothing choice.
Try living in my house if u dont like yelling and suffering with tinnitus too😂
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
trust me, you could be wearing a lot more revealing clothes and doing a lot more worse things than wearing a crop top that only shows like an inch of skin..
I totally understand why a father wouldn't like his daughter wearing these shirts, because as men, we can't help but notice a woman's body. But, as you're a young woman, you don't have to listen to your parents. 🤷♂️
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
My dad stopped talking to me when I was 14 because I wore crop tops like that
It's been 10 years and i still haven't heard from him...
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