Can moving out actually save a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my man for 6.5 years. We live together with our two kids and have been for 3 years. But in the last year our kid's and our lifestyles have changed and gone in different directions. My kid is very involved in school and loves being out and about with her friend's. I have taken on a new job that requires a lot of travel and occasionally working on East Coast time. Neither of these things makes our current living situation easy as we live in my man's house which is outside of the city my kid goes to school in requiring me drive across town for drop offs and pick-up versus focusing on work-if we lived near her school she could walk or ride her bike. Then there is the issue that my man and his son are introverts and home bodies. They never want to do anything and never want to have people over. It's been the source of many fights that my daughter and I are sacrificing parts of life that we enjoy and I hate being a bus driver! I asked him if we could move closer to my kid's school and he said no even though it would actually save us $$ to rent his home and downsize. So I decided to split a home with a fellow Mom near my daughter's school. I am not 100% moving out but told my man we will stay there on days I need her to get herself to school and it will be where we host our sleepovers, BBQ's etc. The Mom I am splitting the home with is already like a sister to me and my kid loves her boys and plays all the sports with them so to me this is a win/win but my man is spiraling... he says I am taking one step towards us breaking up and this will never work. I think it can work if he stops taking it so personal and sees this will give us all more of what we need- thoughts?

Updates

11 mo

I guess I need to add the context that "our" kid's are not "ours". We are not married, we are divorced from a previous marriage (not ours) and we each have one child from those marriages. And I am not moving anything out of the home. I am renting space for 1-2 nights week to allow my daughter to stay in her school and for her to be able to get there by walking or biking on days I have meetings and cannot driver her.

[lorenzomichael]

Yeah moving out can only hurt the whole family. And as time goes by, chances of getting back together are slipping away. And it will have a long-term effect on your children. I hate to say it to you but you're hurting the family most by moving out. You're getting your marital vows, (For better or for worse) or you just don't give a shit. However if you are not married then you're just teaching your kids that it's okay to have children outside of marriage. Again you're fucking up. Remember you guys are the one's to set the example to your children. If you two don't do it, the world will. And this world won't give a fuck about your kids let alone you. Good luck.

[Gent207-2]

He's saying that because there are more problems in your marriage than what you mentioned here. You both have pink and blue glasses that only allow you to see certain problems but not all of them. Honest communication like using "I statements" and marriage counseling can help.

[serious_miss419]

As a mom we gotta look out for ourselves and our kids first. The rest can be put on hold or compromised without question

[Nikki1989]

That would be the end of it for me.

[Anonymous]

If i was your man and you mentioned staying somewhere else id have all your stuff on the front lawn by the next day. Anything we bought together would be sold and id give you your half. In reality if you're thinking of moving out there's no changing your mind. Id accommodate you and help you leave.

[Avicenna]

I can't imagine that it would. It's the anthesis of a healthy relationship.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t think moving out is a good idea there’s other ways of working around that and fixing it