What is this behavior and how would you advice me in this situation?

Question

Why is it so easy for my mom to give compliments about other people’s children physical appearance than her own children’s? I never get any compliments or being told that I look nice by my mom in my life ever. Even though other people would compliment or tell me that I look good that day. She never said a positive thing about my looks, not even once, for example.. even when I know that I look good that day on purpose because I was excited to go out so I dressed up and did my makeup (not overdone not caked up, relax)

And when we leave the house, my aunts and my grandma’s sister complimented how I look (my outfit, my eyebrow makeup, my lipstick color) and my mom heard it then I caught her making faces about it but she turned her head in a opposite direction. What is this? Why was she behaving like that? She is not ugly herself so why the attitude?
I guess the term “a face only a mother can love” does not apply anymore. Not that I’m desperate for compliments but isn't it weird if you never get any compliments from your own parent?

Growing up without getting compliments from your house impacts your self esteem i see. What do you think? Thoughts? Is this toxic of her?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Sounds like a generational curse. Pray to break it and pray for your Mom too. She needs to be healed and open her heart from these chains, barrier or whatever it is. People will look at this from a human perspective, but I will also suggest looking at it from a spiritual and generational perspective. see the blue that blocked his parents from his life? now imagine that was just a generational curse, or some form of spiritual warfare, or something else that had manifested and instead of blocking them, deliverance was required...

People don't realize that Satan is working 24/7 to destroy families so they only view stuff from the perspective of the flesh. I remember in the family we would be arguing every single day and one day, instead of fighting we went away and prayed instead. We prayed for understanding, prayed to forgive and asked God for help. Almost immediately this family member that had been attacking us daily just stopped and there has not been even a single fight since. But we do see signs of demonic possession so that explains some of it. Many of us are busy ignoring the spiritual realm, God and Satan... but just because we don't acknowledge any of this, it doesn't stop it from existing, or having an impact on us because all exist.

mobiusforniner · Accepted Answer

Believe it or not, parents are people too and, like many people, they can be total assholes. I've learned this as i grow older, my parents outright hate me for being successful. Ironically I pushed myself in hopes of making them proud because I likewise never received any compliments or encouragement from them.

So, to this day, rather than repeatedly reminding me of being a loser, they tell me Im a narcissist and insult me in and my family. When I share of my kids accomplishments they even threatened to hurt my family.

Solution? I blocked them from my life.

BasedBaeBecca · Accepted Answer

It's possible that your mom may be jealous of and threatened by your looks and attractiveness. She might have her own insecurities about her looks and therefore be unable to give you the kind of compliments you are looking for. Another explanation could be that she is worried about your ego and concerned that receiving compliments from her might make you self-absorbed or narcissistic. Whatever the reason, it can have a negative impact on your self-esteem if you don't receive any recognition or praise from your mom. It's important to remember that everyone has different ways of expressing their love and approval, and this may just be the case in your family.

NuitBlanche · Accepted Answer

Some people take it for granted. Their own children are the prettiest in the world anyway. Ask her and say that it would be nice if she said something good about you for once? Talk to her. You know her best. Talking helps mostly

Anonymous · Answer

Ok first off, yes, I think its immature for your Mother to behave as you describe. I would guess your mother was young when she had you.

Some mothers see themselves in their daughters; Some of those mothers, furher see competition in their daughters (and furthur still, to complicate stuff, some of those daughters also compete with their mothers for the attentions of the SAME men).

What I advise if that you compliment your mother. Notice when she's making an effort. Keep doing that, and over time, she SHOULD recipricate. Also, watch how your mother is towards men when your out together, if you as the younger woman are wowing ALL the men, that will tend towards any woman feeling she has NO need to compliment you and lead many women to feel they might need to dress you down for 'dressing slutty' or some other kind of thinking (because, sometimes mothers are still immature girls too, who sometimes feel that younger women get attention by 'unfair' means, but really its they can't handle the lesser attention older women receive from men generally).

I hope maybe your mother will pick up on you complimenting her and noticing when she looks nicer and over time find the joy in your attention toward her such that she wakes up to the attention she's not been giving you.

Best of luck.

joeND · Answer

Some parents are tough on their kids, they believe they can't be kids friend they are the boss, others are nice. I have seen Tough parents have successful kids but it can go the other way too. I aam the youngest of 5 . My parents were easier on me, then my oldest siblings. I was more successful. Mom said to me daily- you look so cute and I love you. It made me confiident perhaps too confident. It is nice to have confidence. It is odd to never get a compliment from a Mom. My dad was light on compliments. I always felt like he hated me. Maybe he did since he left me zero in his will. II was easy on my kids and neither work at age 25 and 30. Do I regret being easy? yes often.

StormChaser838 · Answer

Don't worry girl, your mom is just being diplomatic. Also self praise is no praise. She really thinks you are very beautiful, and the best,,,, but she cannot say it,,,, thats all. Even I am sure you must be very beautiful, your prince charming will come and grab you, I promise.

Reem12345reem · Answer

she's jealousand it's obvious , have u ever noticed her narcissistic behaviour towards u?

Ali4Sy · Answer

Have you ever try to ask her before you go out: "How do I look? " Maybe it's just she's not used to give you her opinion...

WhitneySnow · Answer

That’s definitely toxic

Anonymous · Answer

Id talk to my mother about it.

What is this behavior and how would you advice me in this situation?

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