Why does my friend think I’m wrong for distancing our friendship when she owes me money?

[Anonymous]

She owes me $600, I helped her out after her car got repoed and made it clear I will not be her friend anymore if she doesn’t pay it back. Well long story short, it doesn’t seem like she’s going to pay it back. I have it to her back in January and it’s now almost August and nothing yet she’s throwing subliminals on social media because I chose to distance myself away. She even made the most supportive friend (me) exit out of her life after she lost all of her friendships except for me a year ago.

[ShesRad80]

i would ignore her shade, she's a pathetic individual to treat a friendship like she has.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/z-sPXHQK8H0

[BoopBoopBeep]

Consider it an expensive life lesson on how to pick better friends, to the extent that it's possible. More to the point, why do you care what she thinks about what you do being right or wrong when obviously she's morally bankrupt anyway? I don't ask blind people if my art is good.

[Anonymous]

Its time to lose her as a friend forever, and never lend money to a friend again.

[Asker]

That’s why I’m gone. Last time she called me, it seemed like she just wanted a ride to go eat somewhere.

[Opinion Owner]

She's a user.

[Anonymous]

Maybe respond to her post where she is throwing shade at you. Tell her yeah I was a friend and I helped you out yet you burned me when you refused to pay me back the $600 you owe me.

[Asker]

I don’t even care to respond, I feel like there’s nothing more wrong than someone owing money and acting like a jerk about it

[DoggyDude]

No friendship should be broken or made based on money.

So, your friend let you down by not repaying you and thats true. It's also making sense for you not to loan her more money and make it clear she's burned that bridge until she repays you. However, holding a friend to randsom over an emergency loan with the line "I won't be your friend anymore if you don't pay it back" (whilst i can understand the centiment) is the words of a very poor friend (though, that said it's a poor friend who borrows 600 dollars and doesn't try her hardest to repay it and when finding they cannot, finds ways to help their friend in lue of repayment).

So, I think your friend is reasonable to feel the friendship is poor when its so easily given up over a financial issue; Though I also feel your reasoned to not want to loan further monies or become a 'push over friend' touched up for money.

On the balance I think I must agree your wrong to base your friendship on finances. You are not though entirely wrong to judge the level of your friends, friendship to you by how seriously she takes paying you back. Therefore, whilst I sympathise with your friend, I think maybe she made her own bad boat by requiring you to loan her 600 dollars too.

My best friend and I have a system... basically we make the strongest efforts to never ask each other for anything financial, but will always be there for one another if its a true dire need.

My advice in summary is, you should appologise for basing your friendship on her financially unsound position (don't say it like that, but yeah thats basically the truth), the point being, you should genuinely appologise because a freindship is a strong bond between people where both parties do their best for each other. Let her know she still your friend and can pay you back when she can, but until she does you can't afford to lend her any more money (which is nothing to do with your friendship, but practical). Then, you will have to judge if your friend is properly prioritising repaying you, and if she's not doing that then she's the bad friend, be the better friend.

[Mynameisbobby]

She sounds like she just uses people 🙄

[Asker]

I’m over it. I helped her so much , and was the only friend that stuck around. She ruined her life because of who she’s currently dating

[Mynameisbobby]

That's sad but not your problem. She obviously doesn't appreciate good friends like you.