Would you let your teenage daughter dictate who you can be friends with?

[Anonymous]

Been dating a man in his 40s for a little over a year now. He has a 17 year old daughter, who he only recently got full custody of. Ever since she moved in, I’ve noticed that his behavior has changed a lot. He’s always been sort of a grumpy person, but his moodiness has gone to the extreme to where it’s cruel and hateful and it’s always geared towards me. I thought that I was doing something to annoy him, but I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s stressed having her living with him full-time and he’s taking his anger out on me. He was telling me that she’s so much like his ex-wife, and she’s constantly nagging him and nitpicking him, and he doesn’t feel like he can be himself…, he even told me that he kind of thought it would be best if she went back to live with her grandparents. After about a week of dealing with his cruelty and abuse, the last two nights we’ve hung out he has actually been quite pleasant and almost been back to his normal self. And it’s because his daughter was not at home for most of the time that we were hanging out. She was coming home very very late at night. When I left his house this morning, he told me to have a good day and called me his sweetheart, and everything was fine. And then four hours later he’s texting me with an attitude saying that Me hanging out over there is going to stop. And I know his daughter is behind it. Because what else could have happened? I am hurting right now because he’s letting a teenager dictate his life.

[MrOracle]

LOL. No. But he was either weak enough or brainwashed enough that he let his wife emasculate him and run his household, AND he let his wife indoctrinate and set that example for his daughter. He's miserable because he knows he fucked up, but he doesn't seem to realize that nothing is going to change until he grows a set of balls and stands up for himself.

While I feel sorry for the guy, and while I'm sure he got indoctrinated into believing he had to accept and tolerate that, it's been way too long, and he should have recognized his mistake and fixed it LONG, LONG ago, and I have to place the blame on his shoulders. His henpecking daughter is HIS fault, just like his wife is his fault. He chose her, he tolerated her unacceptable behavior, and he reproduced with her. He needs to own his responsibility and take accountability for it, and he needs to make changes.

As Ferris Bueller once stated:

"and she won't respect him, because you can't respect someone who kisses your ass."

[LiamSawyer]

I'd never let a kid dictate my life.

[joeND]

I assume the girl has aa mom? My parents divorced when I was 12. Mom tried to make me hate dad I wasn't having it. Men cheat because women are lousy wives. This girls mom has the daughter convinced it was all dads fault. My family life was no fun after 12. Why do women have to be so vengeful? You should take a lesson from the girls childish mom on how not to act when you have kids. Kids are 50% dad, When you moms teach kids to hate dad you teach them to hate themselves, no wonder is aa horror. The mom does this because she doesn't like daughter living with him

[Asker]

She has a mom that abandoned her and her siblings. Dad had full custody until he got into some trouble with the law and lost custody…. then the daughter, who was the only remaining minor child, went to live with the grandparents.

[joeND]

you can't stop it , divorced parents let kids run the show out of guilt, and because they are trying to be the favorite parent. hated Mom for trying to make me hate dad. She would let me be dads best man , complained when i went to dads on holidays. Took me dads girlfriends house at 9 am and said there is your dads car. It is nice they are both dead and the drama is over , I have peace.