How do you deal with old baggage over a family member?

[OldSchool_Metalhead]

I've probably written something like this before. Just prepare for a lengthy thing.

As some of my followers here (might) remember, I went moving out of state a few years ago. I didn't have a home to go to, so I stayed with my grandma. Thing is, back when I was little me and her were really close. I was closer to her than anyone. But toward the time of me moving we started growing apart. I was really busy with last half of high school and stuff at the time. It grew somehow where when I called she expected me to do all the talking, when I really didn't have a lot to speak of. So when I moved in with her for a few months, I thought things would catch up. HELL. NO.

She was always known to be narcissistic, but she let the monster out fully and has never put it back. When I was with her she would pick fights with me multiple times a day over the littlest shit. Her place was so tiny and I was always so mad I stayed outside most of the day. And that part of town was very dangerous but at the time I didn't give a damn. I did many things to help her, but she always claimed I was lazy and disrespectful and that i don't deserve her respect. There's a lot more that I put up with, but that's too long. Let's just say it was enough where it had me suicidal because my mental health wasn't hot at the time.

Now I rarely talk to her. And she sounds positive when we do. When she speaks of that past time she talks about all the "good" things, but also sometimes brings up a "victim mentality". She misses me but feels like she can't talk to me so long like we used to. The times she does call though, it's awkward. I felt like I was no longer good enough because I'm not her little girl anymore. I'm writing this because I saw her try to call me, I found her in the call logs and that alone made me cry a little (and it's hard for me to cry over things). I called back but no answer. I wish things could heal before I have regrets after she's gone. Fuck this, smh.

Sorry for the rant.

[MysticDevice]

I wish I could give you an answer that could help but I just don't really know either. Schisms with the family hit harder and deeper than simple friends drama. It does get easier over time, but it still lingers.

I know I'm just some random dude from the internet here, and I know your situation isn't identical but I do know how much family divergences hurt. Its a different kind of dispair and makes you wonder a lot all at once. And it makes you tired.

The music helps a lot. Better than anything else I've tried. Like I said, I'm just a random here, and probably don't fully grasp your situation, but the river of time keeps flowing regardless. And the struggle doesn't get easier, you just get stronger and shine brighter. Like a Rainbow in the Dark.

[OldSchool_Metalhead]

It's true that it's quite different when it involves family. I have multiple family members that have similar mentality to her but I've since avoided them. It's just harder when you were once close to one of em. In the meantime, time to crank up some Dio 🤘

[LostA__Aryen18]

Depends on the circumstance.
If you are not very close to them, both physically and emotionally, you could just avoid them.
However, some you can't avoid, and there is no real answer to how you deal with that.
Family is family, and you have to accept it.