Sometimes I feel like I didn't get to enjoy my younger years or my early adult years?

[dane_anish]

I'm 36 now and I have autism. I now have decent social skills, decent physical coordination, and I am employed.

But I feel like my neurotypical peers got a much better deal than I did. In my adolescent years, while I was battling autism, they got invited out by friends and they got into relationships easily.

In ages 20 to 30, while I was battling autism, they got to have higher paying jobs, buy homes, get married and have children, or migrate to different countries and thrive. I'm 36 and still fighting to be in that position.

I have to battle autism everyday and I don't want my life to be a constant battle. I put in a lot of work and the world still doesn't want me like it will want a neurotypical who put in the same amount of work. I got married at 30, and my wife and I don't have children because she has cystic ovaries and it may not be in the cards for us. Because they didn't have autism to battle, their work will bear a lot more fruit than mine and it is making me resentful. They get to have all the money, new vehicles, homes, children and travel, and I get to just be decent.

I've tried deactivating social media but every time I go out it's still in my face. My sister has the life I want, and at family gatherings, it is in my face. My sister in law also has what I want and at my wife's family gatherings, it is in my face too. I don't want to move into a cabin in the mountains and not see anyone, so how do I deal with this?

[HollyK21]

I can’t fully understand where you’re coming from, but I get the basic gist and all I can say is don’t dwell. No matter how often you reflect and regret time lost you won’t get it back. Same as if people regret investing time into a certain person and/or relationship, there’s no restart button. Resenting other people and what they have that you don’t won’t do a thing for you either. Your best bet is to do is better going forward. I have no idea what it’s like living with autism, but my ex was autistic, I remember his struggles and that’s why I’m saying what I am to you now. You can coexist, and even though it’s a big part of your life it doesn’t have to rule it.

[art84]

My brother is similar in that he got to have children and get married before his mid 30's. I never got married or dated in my 20's or 30's and don't regret it. My brother life isn't perfect and he's gone through his problems with ex wife and personal issues. You should just accept what your life is and not really compare it to your sister.

[dane_anish]

I know, but my issue is about the work I put out. Not saying she didn't work, but she got more for the work she put out, which is not any more than I did.

[Anonymous]

Well, you can't change the past, but you can start enjoying life more now and living in the moment.