Do you agree with this quote about physically "disciplining" children: "If they can understand reason, then why are you hitting them?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

"If they can understand reason, then why are you hitting them? And if they can't understand reason, then why are you hitting them?"

I agree. You shouldn't hit a child too young to understand why you're hitting them, and once they're old enough to understand, why the fuck would you not teach them instead of hitting them? Violence is never an appropriate way to "teach" anyone, especially a child, especially your own child. Every study on the subject shows it doesn't even work, and causes harm in the short and long term. Many countries have banned physical discipline. It can be done. And (surprise!) people still are able to raise kids fine. There's literally no reason to hit your child.

Updates

5 mo

To the people saying it's "necessary" sometimes. Violence is only ever necessary when you're being threatened and have no means of escape. Literally any other time, you don't NEED to hit ANYONE. Why does that same logic not apply when it's your own child ur dealing with? What possible reason could justify hitting your own child when you are bigger and stronger and literally control every aspect of their life? You can do ANYthing to help them. How could you not just... not hit them?

Updates

5 mo

Why are some people acting like hitting is the only way to punish a child? Or even the only "serious" way to punish them? Obviously there's hundreds of ways to punish a child, especially as their parent you have total control in most areas. Why the fuck would you think your only option is to physically hit their body? Why would you think that's a GOOD option?

[wolfcat87]

I agree with you, and the scientific community agrees with you.

It's already illegal in over 50 countries because there are hundreds of scientific studies spanning over 100 years proving that it causes harm in nearly every instance. So, no. Kids don't ever need to be hit if parented properly from the start.

I studied Child Development and Education in college. My kids are accomplished, well behaved, and responsible without ever being hit to punish them. Part of the reason why they are so athletic is because exercise was a punishment, but it was also taught as a proper way for them to unleash anger and aggression. Too much energy? Pick another sport or activity. If they want to hurt someone, save it up and do it on the mat. If they need to punch, get a punching bag. Hormones too much? Go for a run and have a scoop of ice cream after. Redirecting natural behaviors is a part of properly raising and training any sentient creature human or otherwise. Teaching them cause and effect logically teaches them critically thinking so they behave on their own even when you aren't looking. Discipline is important, but it does not mean hitting.

"Children who are spanked tend to exhibit higher levels of cognitive, behavioral, and emotional problems than their never-spanked peers (Gershoff & Grogan-Kaylor, 2016)."

https://sdlab.fas.harvard.edu/files/sdlab/files/cuartas_2021_corporal_punishment.pdf

" Virtually without exception, these studies found that physical punishment was associated with higher levels of aggression against parents, siblings, peers and spouses."

"A landmark meta-analysis published in 200218 showed that of 27 studies on physical punishment and child aggression conducted up to that time (that met the criteria of the meta-analysis), all found a significant positive relation, regardless of the size of the sample, location of study, ages of the children or any other variable. Almost all adequately designed studies conducted since that meta-analysis have found the same relation.19–23 In a randomized controlled trial of an intervention designed to reduce difficult child behaviours,24 parents in more than 500 families were trained to decrease their use of physical punishment. The significant parallel decline seen in the difficult behaviours of children in the treatment group was largely explained by the parents’ reduction in their use of physical punishment. Together, results consistently suggest that physical punishment has a direct causal effect on externalizing behaviour, whether through a reflexive response to pain, modeling or coercive family processes."

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3447048/

"According to attachment theory, the experience of being punished or threatened with punishment by parents for expressing distress can weaken parent–child attachment (Bowlby, 1973). Children who feel insecure about whether their needs will be met may be unable to delay gratification in the absence of immediate responses, undermining their ability to self-regulate (Durrant & Ensom, 2020). In addition, the experience of being punished for seeking comfort and security may lead to inhibiting or hyper-activating emotional expressions, hindering positive and supportive interactions with others (Davidov & Grusec, 2006).

According to self-determination theory, spanking can undermine children's initiation and regulation of their own behaviors (Grolnick et al., 1997; Grolnick & Farkas, 2002). This view posits that children desire self-determination; without external control, they learn to internalize reasons for their action, watch their own behaviors, and increase their agency (the capacity to make choices and exert their own will; Grolnick & Ryan, 1989). However, controlling children's behaviors through punishment discourages autonomy and hinders the natural growth of agency (Deci & Ryan, 2008). In other words, spanking may delay the development of self-control and promote unregulated child behavior."

"Finally, according to social learning theory (Bandura, 1973, Bandura, 1977), parents' use of spanking models aggression as a default human response and an appropriate way to solve problems. In the process of learning, children may interpret others' intentions as hostile and internalize the message that violence can be useful in dealing with others (Bandura, 1977; Dodge et al., 1990). This can increase aggression in children and influence their interpersonal skills in ways that may make it difficult to maintain positive relationships (Bandura, 1973; Bradshaw & Garbarino, 2004; Heleniak & McLaughlin, 2020).

Empirical research has provided evidence that spanking is linked with compromised social skills in children. Most studies measured the frequency of recent spanking (e. g., in the past week or month) and its association with children's social competency outcomes. More frequent spanking was associated with children's higher levels of externalizing behaviors (Berlin et al., 2009; Cuartas et al., 2020; Gershoff et al., 2012; Grogan-Kaylor, 2005; MacKenzie et al., 2012, MacKenzie et al., 2014, MacKenzie et al., 2015; Maguire-Jack et al., 2012); lower self-control (between ages 6 to 7 and 10 to 11 years; Nofziger, 2008); and lower levels of interpersonal skills in teachers' assessments (Kessenich, 2006; Pettit et al., 1997; cf. Altschul et al., 2016"

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0145213422003519

"To rule out the negative effects of “excessive” spanking or potential physical abuse, this study excluded cases of frequent spanking from the analyses, following the literature (e. g., MacKenzie et al., 2012, MacKenzie et al., 2014, MacKenzie et al., 2015). However, “frequent” spanking has been variously defined across studies. Some researchers have defined high frequency spanking as parental use of spanking two or more times a week, estimating that 6–13 % of parents engaged in this behavior (Grogan-Kaylor, 2004; MacKenzie et al., 2012, MacKenzie et al., 2014, MacKenzie et al., 2015). Others defined frequent spanking as the parental use of spanking on an “always” (vs. “sometimes” or “never”) basis, estimating that about 10 % of parents were frequent spankers (Okuzono et al., 2017). Preliminary analyses for the current study showed that about 11 % of children had experienced frequent spanking by the parent respondent, if “frequent” were defined as two or more times a week; 4 % of children, if “frequent” were defined as three or more times a week (see Table 2). Based on the preliminary estimates, cases in which spanking frequency was two or more times a week were excluded (i. e., <2+ times).

This study demonstrated that US children's spanking experiences were significantly associated with social competency outcomes over time.

Many parents use spanking due to a belief that it will reduce anti-social behaviors and promote positive comportment in their children (Afifi et al., 2022; Chiocca, 2017). Parents should be aware that, in fact, spanking may hinder their children's development of self-control and interpersonal skills and increase externalizing behaviors, even if used infrequently."

[Daniela1982]

You discipline with love, not anger. And beating a kid is not love. I've heard someone say that their teacher used to lean them over the desk and swat them with a yard stick when they misbehaved. But her class was the best behaved in the school. Your way of thinking is what we are seeing today. A bunch of renegades and thugs that act up in school and ruining it for all the other students, just because they can. It's usually the teachers that get fired for disciplining, not the kids getting expelled for their behavior. I knew a person who drove a school bus who got fired for getting unruly students kicked off the bus and their parents complaining about it. Everyone is so woke today that society is going down the tubes. Half the people in prison would not be there if their parents had cared enough about them to discipline them. If children are never taught limits, than whose fault is it for kid's bad behavior?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

U think 50% of the prison population was not hit as kids? Woah. That's crazy I've only ever met 2 other people irl that wasn't hit as a kid, & neither of them were the people I know who went to prison.

[JacobJordan]

the reason why physical discipline is something that should still be widely used is fairly simple. as adults we know that if we are disrespectful to everyone eventually one of them will beat the hell out of us as a result we approach situations with the understanding that respect is paramount or bloodshed is inevitable. children who receive little to no discipline grow up without understanding that the lack of respect can result in a whooping with that though when disrespected if not disciplined as a child to understand the limits of such things they tend to take it too far. I was physically disciplined it was rare. used as an extreme measure but it happened. as a result when one of my bullies tormented me to snapping I put him in the hospital. had I not received any form of discipline and moral lessons I would have beat him to death. the point is people have become far to comfortable being disrespectful with no consequences. that is a result of parents letting their kids say anything and everything with no consequences

[GOLDFISH_smile]

I also knew how to use violence to stop someone from disrespecting me while being careful not to go too far, back when I was a kid. And my parents never even hit me. So i don't think a parent using violence on their child is necessary for the kid to learn how to use violence themself. The principles of self-defence, pride, self-control, and all that shit can be taught without physical discipline, and then the kid will apply them to whatever the they decide to do. Kids aren't stupid. They don't need to be under constant threat of bloodshed to learn.

[JacobJordan]

sure but the other thing a bit of discipline teaches is to be respectful. which is something sorely missing in todays society

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Ok. I also know how to be respectful. Ur argument doesn't sound very good when 1 example can show its wrong. Have u considered that there's more ways to discipline than just hitting, and other ways actually work better?

[JacobJordan]

have you seen the children of today? shooting up schools, assaulting other students, they throw tantrums if they hear no to name but a few things that would be solved if those kids had received some discipline at home in any form. our society is in shambles because of shit parents who are too scared to discipline their children physical or non physical. sure there is more than just physical discipline that works but the reality is physical discipline works and it works faster. and given the state of our society only a fool would argue against instituting more discipline

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Have you MET any children of today? They're just people. Like anyone else. Most of them were hit by their parents, too, so that argument is still shit. Most parents in America still hit their kids. But maybe u don't talk to many young people, so how about the parents. Do you know the parents of today? Do you know any who don't hit their kids?

[JacobJordan]

yeah most of them don't. most of them don't even discipline their kids. the number of children that throw tantrums in stores cause mommy wouldn't buy them a candy bar is absurd. my parents gave 1 warning. "quit it right now" if I didn't quit it they'd cuff me upside the head. learned real quick to not make a scene in public.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

I'm not talking about seeing a random kid in a store, u don't know what their parents do to them at home. Im talking about kids & parents u actually know. Like u have any friends or coworkers who are parents & don't hit their kids?

[JacobJordan]

I know many people with kids and a few don't discipline their children. those kids are nightmares. the fascinating part for me is that you are still trying to argue that physical discipline is not needed when numerous other posters have provided more than ample evidence that it is in fact needed and of course situational. in fact nearly every poster has said that and yet you are arguing with every single one of them. as a matter of fact 14% of all men in state prisons were the subject of corporal punishment. 14%. not the absurd number you claimed in several of your other posts to other people. which is less than 160k as compared to the roughly 1.1m that were not the subject of that. so 14% of people subjected to corporal punishment may end up in prison meanwhile the other 86% that were not subjected to that may wind up in prison. you tell us which one is better. hint it is the first one. so if you wish to continue arguing a flawed and failed viewpoint you can but the facts prove that corporal punishment actually results in drastically less people in prison. welcome to the real world where discipline is actually a good way to stop children from growing up to be school shooters and felons

[DaveJord]

Sometime the best lessons are the one you learn on your own. The lesson is simple, your actions have consequences, even if unintended. We have heard the saying, "Actions mean more than words."

I was a rambunctious and mischievous child. My parents used their words, but when I ignored them, there needs to be a consequence. Talking about it only put the ball back in my arena, because I have a smart wit and clever mind. The point was, that sometimes in life that is not enough. You need to take responsibility for your own choices and actions.

I am not saying beat your children, but don't spoil them either. Because at some point they need to learn, that their words are not enough. When fail to listen that carries consequences. I think I spanked my daughters maybe three times. All before the age of 10. It gave my words more meaning, and they had the choice to respect that or suffer the consequences. Three strikes you are out... I used my word twice before and apparently you failed to get the message.

[DaveJord]

I am a combat veteran... my daughter thought it was funny to jump out from hiding spots with masks on to scare me. Now how do you explain to a ten-year-old, that you're a combat veteran? And every time you do that it triggers a fight or flight instinct and I have been conditioned to identify threats and eliminate them. Once the fight instinct kicks in that it triggers other things, that she could not possibly understand?

After third or forth time of me trying to tell her I do not like it... that it hurts me in ways she can not understand and that she needs to stop it. No to her it was funny and entertaining to watch dad break out in a sweat and get the shakes. I warned her that this is my last warning, or she will be made to understand what it means to really fight.

She did it again, this time I slapped her dead across the face. Not super hard, and it did not leave a mark. But she ran to her room crying. Later I explained to her, that she cannot understand how much it hurts me to be put in that position. But it does hurt me, and I asked for to stop nicely several times and she chose not to respect that.

We cried together and she never did it again. Now she is an adult, and she understands.

[DaveJord]

That was the last time I ever put my hands on my daughter and she was 12.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

@DaveJord I read your replies, sorry for what you had to go through. Our youngest has received a few spankings, because explaining to him that violence towards us, or anyone else will have consequences didn't work. I've definitely had a nosebleed and a few bit tongues from him, trying to hit and kick me when he gets angry. He's coming around now, I think because he doesn't want to be labeled a bully in his second grade class.

[DaveJord]

@GOLDFISH_smile to the update... because strength and power matters in this world, and in the real world nobody is pulling their punches or robbing themselves of their power to appease the few or weak.

[DaveJord]

@GOLDFISH_smile You are doing your kids and injustice if they do not learn this form their parents. It transcends purely physical violence... its they will be faced with challenges in life... where hard choices have to be made, and those choices can have unexpected consequences if you do not adhere to rules of the road.

[DaveJord]

You can do everything right and still be wrong and suffer for it.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Yes, strength matters, and life is rough, but all the ways life fucks you up... that's bad shit. That's not good stuff that you want more of. Putting your kid through something bad just because they will experience bad things later in life doesn't make them stronger, it just makes their life have more bad stuff in it. They have the actual consequences of their actions. Why would I add extra consequences?

[DaveJord]

Some day bad shit will happen to your kids, it's your job to prepare them for it. Live is about hard choices and consquences... some day your kids will be 30 years old, and they will need more than a mommy to lick their wounds and tell them everything will be fine.

They will take a lot of hard knocks or punch to the face... and they will have to learn to get up and move on, push forward. So be careful that you are not raising future victims, because they never learned how to take a hard hit and get over it.

[DaveJord]

I am not saying it good to smack you r kids around, but everything in moderation. You come off as if disciplining your kids, is flat wrong. And honestly, that is not the case. There is time and place for all things... spare the rod and spoil the child. But I 100% agree that the rod should not be your first go to.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Ok so the rod thing, that's about guidance. Not hitting. Shepard don't hit their sheep. & u know there's more ways to discipline besides hitting right? There's every other way. Hitting is literally only 1. It's not radical or crazy to not do 1 method of punishment bc it is bad.

[DaveJord]

Yup... your right... obviously there can only be one right answer and your genius miracul women that's f8gured our the secret in the secret sauce.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

That's literally the opposite of what I just said but OK.

[DaveJord]

Okay, back to your saying... if they can't understand reason... well then how do they learn how to reason?

Through cause and effect. Every action has an equal to or great than reaction. Which once you make a choice to do what it is you decided to do, you honestly have no control over the reactions or consequences of that action.

How do they learn this? How do they learn reason? Lets me 100% clear, children can reason, and they have reason. They are not dumb, it very basic stuff. If I do this mom will be angry, but after she talks to me about it who cares, I got what I wanted in the moment. To a child is this is reason, they are reasoning. Unitl the unexpected happens and it ended up being something they did not expect.

So, the next time out they have to consider the fact that... next time it could be more than a few words or talking to. More than a weel or two without TV or being grounded. So, in that case, you are actually enhancing their ability to reason at a higher-level next time. Meaning you are doing your job as a parent.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

So you don't think something like consistency is important for teaching a child reason? They shouldn't learn to weigh the risks and choose based on preferred outcome, they should just learn to always obey you because if they don't who knows what you will do to them? Sorry man that sound like the opposite of reasoning that sounds like plain old fear.

[DaveJord]

100% not what I said

[BoopBoopBeep]

A kid hit my dog. I hit him back. He understood that faster than a conversation would have been and I've no interest in having a conversation with trash.

Kids grow up with this entitled attitude like they can go up and say and do anything to anyone. That's what REAL privilege is. Then they get shocked when they pop off at the mouth as an adult and get the stupid slapped out of them. Shouldn't be no surprises there.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

If ur defending urself, someone else, or an animal, then yeah ofc violence is understandable. This is about using violence as punishment, after bad behavior, when nobody's in danger.

[ohsheeT]

Used to get beat with a belt when I was a kid
I promised myself if I ever had children that I would teach my stepdad how to raise children without raising your voice without raising your hand with just a couple simple words

I did just that when I had children.
You can't teach anything to anybody if you're beating on them all the time
I think it's totally disgusting how some people raise their kids nowadays they're always yelling and screaming threatening and what does that teach them except for nothing but if you want something you have to yell and scream to get it and that's exactly what they do they act like little brats it's a vicious circle and it's a stupid circle parents get the kids they deserve just by the way they raise them and that's kind of mean to say because the kid doesn't deserve to be a bad person just because of the parents but we see nowadays how parents affect their kids by the way they raise them

[AaronKrieger]

There is truth to it and corporal punishment has been proven to negatively impact children when it comes to their emotional stability such as anger as they grow up. By the same token, I do believe corporal punishment can be useful and work. It does depend on how the parent is overall and how the kid will react to it.

In general, I do not think there is an exact "one size fits all" solution to parenting, as you need to approach kids individually based on how they respond. I am not a parent by any means, so I do not know from experience on that end, but parenting is a learning process tailored specifically for your kids. That's how I feel based on things I have heard, learned, and seen with my own parents growing up.

[Miristheiss]

No.

Spanking is fine.

I'm sorry, are all the criminals, thieves, looters, school disrespect and school violence, murderers and school shooters not enough? Are we "too tough" on disciplining kids?

Kids need a hell of a lot more discipline and correction as youth.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Oh yeah bc most criminals were definitely not spanked or hit as children. 🙄

[IslaTheWitch]

Of course, there are countries where hitting kids is forbidden. But it changes totally nothing. The physical abuse is changed to mental abuse.

In Germany, children can report their parents to specific organisations or the police if they are hit. But I still see hit kids or, even worse, mentally abused kids.

We don't need a not efficient law. We need education...

[Apple1996]

Sometimes spanking is necessary because all kids learn differently. I have one son that just talking to him works. And I have another son that I literally have to punish every single way possible for him to learn. So really just depends on the kid

[TonyMetal___86]

Well said miss apple and no apples for the bad kids 😂🍏

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Have you tried anything else besides punishments tho? That's not the only option..

[Apple1996]

I try all options with him. I'll just keep trying till whatever works that day. He's different everyday

[DextroShade]

I really hope you don't have kids. This quote is bullshit and is embodies everything wrong with modern parenting. The child should fear the parent's wrath or they have no reason to obey and won't obey. I'm not condoning actual abuse, but they should be just afraid enough not to disobey or dusrespect the parent. People who spout this bullshit are usually these fucking baby mommas who let their kids run wild and scream and damage things while pretending that nothing is happening and then get upset when someone asks them to rein their kids in. Go watch footage of police bodycams on YouTube to see what these undisciplined kids end up like when they grow up.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Bro wtf are you okay? My kid listens & respects me bc she trusts me. I would hope ideally, you should trust your parents, no? You should at least trust them MORE than you fear them, if you're unfortunate enough to be scared of the 2 people who control your entire life for 18 years...

[DextroShade]

First of all, you can FRO with the disingenuous concern trolling. I was not raised in constant fear of my parents but I did obey them because I feared getting punished. All this bleeding heart hippy dippy bullshit you are spouting sounds nice in theory but always fails in practice. Your kid might happen to be a little angel who listens to you, but most are not and need discipline. Your argument is basically "My friends and I never commit any crimes, so we obviously don't need the police!"

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Lol nah, I'm serious. You can discipline ur kid without hitting them, and it literally works BETTER. It's like saying "the police don't need to shoot u when ur unarmed and already handcuffed. It doesn't make u a better citizen and actually makes u less likely to report crimes u may see in the future." Hitting doesn't work. Plenty other forms of discipline do work. I wasn't an angel kid at all, and my parents were able to discipline me without hitting me. There's plenty of other parents who did the same. And I am sorry that your parents weren't one of them, bc I have been hit b4 and it does cause fear, and doesn't help. To have that be a regular form of punishment must be awful, especially if it started back when you were very young. I can't imagine having my own parents hit me as a small child. I don't get how people can think that's actually helpful to the kid, except that they've experienced it themself and don't want to admit that maybe it wasn't necessary or good for them.

[DextroShade]

Watch some police body cam videos and it will be extremely obvious which people weren't hit as kids. Most of those people were also raised by single mothers.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

That's not how it works lol, & statistically if u hit ur kid they're MORE likely to be criminal so. I don't think u know what ur talking about.

[DextroShade]

Actually I do, it's statistically proven that children raised by women are more likely to end up as degenerates. Women are far less likely to spank their kids than men are, and if it's a boy they are unable to above a certain age. Fathers are the disciplinarians that keep daughters off stripper poles and sons out of jail.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I'm not gonna say I haven't given a spanking, but I often have felt remorse. The couple times it has occurred. Our youngest developed a temper and we are starting to see it dissipate.
patience and simply restraining them if they attempt violent contact is definitely the way to go.
when you both have calmed down, then the explaining and lessons begin :-)

[Anonymous]

Children need to be disciplined in a multitude of ways. Sometimes that may be putting them in a corner. Sometimes that may be taking away their favorite toys. And sometimes that may have to resort to a spanking if those options don't work. I would hope the first two work but it's not always the case and more discipline like a spanking needs to be done. Now I wouldn't say fairly often does it need to be done but just enough for them to know what they did was wrong if the other forms of discipline doesn't work.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

It doesn't work tho...

[Opinion Owner]

It worked for me and my sister and we turned out great.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Just bc u turned out OK doesn't mean ur parents hitting u HELPED. I turned out OK too and my parents never hit me.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes it did help. Every household is different. Some need more discipline than others. You may were just a really good child.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Oh no, I was a really bad kid. My sister was chill but I was shit. They just didn't see hitting as an option, so they did other stuff instead yknow, parenting stuff.

[Opinion Owner]

Part of parenting is disciplining your child via spankings. It's not an option I would go for always but it is necessary sometimes in a lot of households. Maybe just not yours which is fine. Everyone is entitled to have their own way of parenting their child.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Spanking is never necessary to parenting, it's not even part of parenting. Nobody is entitled to abuse their child. Some people don't see it as abuse because it's so normalized, and I'm sure most parents who do it don't realize that it actually hurts their own kids instead of teaching like they've always been told it does. But that doesn't make it good or work, that just makes some parents wrong bc they were lied to.

Let me ask you do you think it's okay for an adult to hit or spanks a child that they don't know and aren't related to? Like if I'm at the store and my kid says a cussword or something "rude", would it be okay for a stranger to come over and whack her on the head or pick her up and spank her as "punishment"?

[Opinion Owner]

Of course not. It is not okay for a stranger to spank a child. Only the parent should have the option to do that and within reason. I'm not saying for the parent to do that all the time if ever really but that sometimes it may be necessary in certain households. Kudos for you for not making that an option in your household but don't judge other parents who choose to do it because for them it might be the best way to discipline their child.

[Guanfei]

Because even tho kids understand that what they do is bad, they will still do it to test your boundaries, and know how far they can go.

And if the only consequence of their bad behaviors are just parents telling them it's bad, they'll soon learn it's not a consequence and they will have no boundaries.

Then you can try to reason with them all you want, they won't care.

Being nice with criminals doesn't work, and they're adults. Why would kids, who aren't mature enough, would care about it?

[Anonymous]

hitting does nothing. use your words. hitting will make them afraid of you and end up resenting you as they get older. and the parent will wonder why lol dumb parents...

hitting solves nothing. it will make them grow up thinking if they don't like something, they can just hit the person. aka, abusive relationships. and the cycle continues.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes I agree with it. If they understood reason, they don't need to be hit, if they don't understand reason, they won't understand why they are being hit.
So it's just pointless violence.
Also hitting them would make them angry, which is going to make them LESS agreeable. Generally speaking, if you want someone to listen to you, you have to be nice to them. Maybe those parents should try that for once..

[BarryLiverstone]

I agree that a spanking for a younger child is an effective way to get their attention when they are misbehaving to a big level. Often times a warning is just as effective.


Never hit a child, violent action isn’t the solution to discipline.

[Staximus]

My friend's son was a bastard as a little kid and used to constantly test his parents, trying to get away with whatever he could. The was no reasoning with him. Words didn't work, there had to be real consequences for his actions. Now as a young man he's one of the nicest people you'll ever meet.

[AviatorTom]

Striking a child that causes injury is wrong. A slap on the butt to get their attention is okay, and in some cases, preferred, so that they listen to you when you talk to them, explain what they did wrong, and what the right thing to do is.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

To get their attention.. so it doesn't hurt? I was always told spanking is supposed to hurt. I still think it's weird even if it doesn't hurt if you do it on the butt tho. Just tap their shoulder or sum to get their attention, like u would anyone else?

[AviatorTom]

@GOLDFISH_smile I didn't say it's not supposed to hurt... just dont cause injury

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Why do you ever need to hurt your child just to get their attention?

[AviatorTom]

Because sometimes it's the only way to get their attention, especially when what you're dealing with us their safety.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Um no. You can use your words, or ur hands without hurting them. If they're small you can even pick them up. Physically move them to somewhere safe. How would that not get their attention?

[slatyb]

I completely agree. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

[HouseMoat]

I don't agree with hitting children. I think it makes the kid resent you the rest of it's life.

But, this is coming from someone who doesn't want kids, so, to each their own

[collie22]

There are ways to discipline a child without hitting them. My cousin has two boys she's never hit and there both very well behaved.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No. Children need to be spanked once they get out of line and refuse to listen.

Children spanking should stop around age 7 if you raise and home train them correctly.

[Nikki1989]

Hitting a child just sends the message that violent behavior is OK. It is counter-productive.