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At age 15, I went against an entire large group that was treating 2 girls (one from Pakistan and another from Colombia) badly. Those two girls were considered losers but I was friends with them too. The group didn't have problems with me but didn't like it that I chose the girls over them. Needless to say the group unfriended me. I lost it all that day, got stripped of my popular status. I sanked (at that moment... eventually things got better when we met other new, nicer people) with my two friends.
These were words to them (I still remembered them) ''I'd rather be their friend than assist your parties. I don't need any of you.''
I did that in my most insecure moment ever. If got asked if would do it again if I went back in time and I immediately found myself answering yes. It's been 14 years later since and I regret nothing. Till this day, the 3 of us are great friends. They still said I did what very few would do at that age.
Is it really rare doing the right thing as a teen?
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I'm afraid you'll find that pretty much ANYONE doing the right thing is rare, unless that "right thing" is popularly accepted. Look at Edward Snowden. Hell, look at me, driven into a form of exile because I refused to sacrifice the safety of the children I'd been charged with protecting for PR purposes and then in short order refused to sacrifice the safety of human civilization for the worship of fear.
People will tell you that moral rectitude is no comfort when you're starving on the street- but they're wrong. I've been homeless (briefly) as a consequence of my actions, and I'm not gonna lie: when you wake up to find your hand crawling with cockroaches and your reaction isn't disgust at the bugs, or sorrow at how far you've fallen, but joy, because here's a free source of protein? You feel like your life's pretty much hit its nadir. But the victory that comes from the knowledge that you did the right thing isn't just moral or theoretical; you KNOW that you have what it takes to do what's right, even if the consequences for it are extreme. You KNOW that you're a good person, and have- and, perhaps even more importantly, will have- the courage to change the world.
This is what Emerson was talking about in his piece on self-reliance (which is one of those things not enough people read, and not nearly enough take to heart: "If I can be great enough now to do right and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances and you always may.". He speaks mostly of masculine virtues in that essay, but I'd strongly suggest you give it a read; it's not like they're limited to men, and even if they are, they shouldn't be. Men may love Cinderella, but Antigone that can respect, as well as love.
This is the key to it all: the people who say the self-value that comes from doing the right thing is meaningless? They're wrong. They may be bitter, or just afraid, but it's worth it. It's ALWAYS worth it.
The irony of this is I did the right thing while feeling insecure and nervous at the same time. Was I afraid of being the group's target of social bullyings? Yet enough anger got to me that somehow I got the strength to tell them off.
Afterwards, there were a couple briefs moment where I thought to myself ''omg what have I done, did I do the right thing, should've at least negotiated with them, so I lost everything, what am I gonna do, etc. However, once anger at how that group bullied others and my two friends took over again, I regretted absolutely NOTHING.
It's hard to imagine that it's been 14 years later since I made that choice, to stand up for them and risked losing being favorite in that popular group, risked getting bullied myself, risked it all. I still don't regret it.
I'm actually glad to be honest. Meanwhile that ridiculous popular group is short-lived, my friendship with those 2 girls (now women) grow much stronger over the years.
That's awesome! You did the right thing! I've done that too and is the reason I have only a couple of good friends in and out of school. I stand up for the kids that get bullied or made fun of. I do think that most teenagers would rather be with the popular crowd. Me I'd rather be friends with someone for the right reasons than for the wrong reasons.
The best part is even I wasn't popular ever again at school (got relegated to someone with few friends), I don't regret anything. The 3 of us made it and our friendship grew much stronger over the years. If I had to do it again and risk it all again, I would.
sad story but the teens around me when i was a teen [i live in u. s.] most were decent. rare immaturity. in preschool that, like your story, happened to me twice the russian outsider and the Spanish outsider but later... we reached first grade no more outsider attitude for example "even" to the rare minority from iran etc.
Yeah I feel like the world is upside down. Instead of being popular for good deeds, helping the community, for doing well in school, helping others (at least that makes sense) and being someone worthy to be admired... teens admired bullies, fame and parties; they think that's being cool and popular.
What a sad world we live in.
I've always wondered what's so great about being a bully?
My guess is while some of those HS bullies will later on regret what they did back then, I have nothing to regret about. I still don't regret separating from that group nor those words I told them. I had to do it again I would.