Parental units, do you ever take time to just sit and talk with each of your kids, kinda like a psychiatrist would, just to see if they were okay?

[FunkyMonkee]

I'm the oldest of the 4 of us kids but was always treated like the youngest and the dumbest, even though I'm smarter than the rest. I seriously doubt any of this was hidden or escaped my parents' view but, neither of them ever took the time to sit and ask me about how it was effecting me to be treated this way.
Would YOU ever sit and talk individually with your kids to see how life in this family has been treating them?

[IslaTheWitch]

No, I don't talk like a psychiatrist. I'm not a cold foreigner to my kids. I'm a mother, one of the closest family members. And a friend.

We talk daily, as often as needed. As often as Drama Queen wants to feel the topic is done. We talk as deeply as she can. Sometimes, we just touch the surface; sometimes, we dig deep to the core.

Talking to people is an art. Listening and encouraging them to open up about their fears, worries and deeply hidden nightmares. Showing respect and ensure that the conversation stays between us. Especially with teenagers (as Drama Queen) but also with adults, related to you or not.

I do talk to my kids. Daily. Mostly listen to. Sometimes, share advice or life experiences.

[FunkyMonkee]

I don't mean you should act or talk to them like one, I just mean, have a friendly chat and see if they're having any problems in life so that YOU can possibly realize you've done something the wrong way and can learn from your mistakes to keep them from being potentially errant people because of your mistakes or issues they're having with their siblings.
Otherwise, sounds like you're on the right track.

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm a psychologist. And even if I don't use my knowledge inside family and friends circle, I still have it. For me keeping relationships based on trust and open communication is the most important thing. Because to talk, kids need to trust you, as a person, not as a parent. They have to be sure, you would like to listen to them and you would put an effort to understand.

It takes years to build trust based communication with anyone, especially with your own kid. Drama Queen is almost 17 years old. Her temperament is as fiery as mine. We often argue and "I'm sorry" is used very often on both sides. But we still talk. We accept our shortcomings and work on them. And we both share. It's not one way street. I also tell her my struggles, hopes or worries, hard situations at work. She appreciates the trust.

[FunkyMonkee]

Sounds cool to me! Kinda like, "Family Affair" or, "The Courtship Of Eddie's Father".

[NathanDavis]

don't have my own kids yet, but I've been part of raising my niece, and yes...

this is among the utmost important things I've always done, which is to have a talk with her from time to time about things many... ever since she was a little kid, and till yesterday, always make sure she does have someone to talk with about anything she wants to talk about

[FunkyMonkee]

GOOD!! Glad to hear it!

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Often times we will chat in the evening when it's bedtime, just gauge how the day went. Thank you for this important reminder!

[FunkyMonkee]

No problem! I just wish my parent gave enough of a shit to do it with me. For the most part, they weren't bad parents, especially once I got dad to stop screaming at me for every little thing I did but, SOME help WOULD'VE been a good thing!

[exitseven]

i used to talk to my kids all the time. Every once in a while i could worm something out of them.

[FunkyMonkee]

I guess the bad part about doing it with your own kids is that they'd be afraid you'd punish them if you found out something "bad" about them.