Is it rude that nobody asked me what was wrong?

[Anonymous]

I was having a rough morning and I came into work HOT!
I mean not in an attractive was but I was so pissed. I came in the classroom, slammed my purse and just sat down. My coworker looked at me and just kept doing what they were doing. They talked to each other and ignored me. Talked about the day for the students. Not one person asked what was wrong. NONE of them.
The elderly coworker walked around me and got things together and after the kids got here they lined up the kids and told me to take them. I got a pissy look. My coworkers and the kids just looked at me. The other coworker said she will take them since I’m too much of a grouch. My mom passed away almost two months ago. Nobody at my job cares. They know my mother passed. Nobody asked me what was wrong! My boss said get it together and do my job. Either do my job, get fired or take another day off to grieve because they can’t have that and everything has a job to do. The world is cruel. 💔
I wish my mom was still here to comfort means hug me tight. Nobody asks me how I am anymore.

[Oliverlogan263]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, that must be really hard. Your coworkers could have shown more care and empathy for sure. A few thoughts:

- Grief affects everyone differently, but lashing out won't help the situation. Maybe take a calming breath and try to communicate openly how you're feeling instead of just appearing angry.

- Give them another chance - after calming down, a simple "I'm still struggling with Mom's passing, could use an ear if anyone wants to chat later" might help people understand.

- Your boss was harsh, but their point about still doing your job is fair. Could you ask for a temporary adjustment instead of more time off? More support may be needed.

-Make sure trusted friends/family know how you're really doing. Lean on them for comfort too. We all need that extra support at tough times.

-Remember your worth isn't defined by others' reactions. You know your own experience best. Keep your head high.

This will take time to heal from. Keep communicating your needs, but also try to find understanding in others. Wishing you peace moving forward. Feel free to vent more if you need!

[Honest-Matt]

Everyone has their own world; we want to believe people are attentive of those around them and are naturally considerate, but we're not. Everyone has their own problems and focuses. No one wants to engage in someone who is outwardly upset, people naturally avoid it. So don't take it to heart assuming that no one cares. People don't want to engage in something uncomfortable that pulls them from their workday.

[Asker]

I understand that but it would have been nice that been noticed

[Honest-Matt]

of course it would have, but we shouldn't expect it, it only serves to make use sadder when our expectations are not met.

[unkissme]

Well first of all your coworkers suck. It’s always best to expect the worst from people because then you won’t be disappointed. If you were in their shoes of course you would have showed compassion when someone came back from bereavement leave and of course you would have inquired about someone storming in and ask if they were okay and if there’s anything you could do to help. But not everyone has your heart. And it SUCKS. It really does. My last question I asked on here is similar to your feelings — how can people be so cold? I am grieving my “friends” staying silent after pouring my heart out to them literally saying I’ve never been so depressed and expressing how alone I feel. I see that they’ve read my stories, and they continue to keep their distance. What you and I are feeling is the apathy of this society. People can literally come out and say I feel like killing myself and their “friends” will just turn away. I don’t have any answers. Just empathy for you. Your coworkers are pieces of trash. Your feelings are valid. Take care of you.

[laly520]

its ok
nothing new
u have to learn not to expect anyone to care or show sympathy
care for urself

[Asker]

I know but I can’t accept it. Even my three coworkers that gave their condolences when they first found out, they ignored me and didn’t hug and said welcome back when I came back from my bereavement break. They just looked at me and kept going. That broke me so bad. 
Two ladies said behind my back, “Oh god here’s miss moody bitch.” And the other said, “God I hope you don’t have to see her cry everyday because eventually everyone will get tired of it. When will she get over it?”

[andreasderjuengere]

I feel tempted to tell you that you are not the centre of the world.
But we all have shitty days sometimes, and some compassion is welcome in such moments.
As you see, that's not always offered.
Find your comfort with friends; at work they don't seem to be inerested.

[Asker]

I guess so. Even my three coworkers that gave their condolences when they first found out, they ignored me and didn’t hug and said welcome back when I came back from my bereavement break. They just looked at me and kept going. That broke me so bad. 💔😭

[TheSpider]

No. you have probably scared the shit out if them somehow. I'd start looking for new job, where your rep isn't so bad. And should you be even around children if you can't control your emotions?

[Asker]

Well no but stilll it’s rude to not ask

[TheSpider]

They know. You worry them. Trust me. I have hd emotional issues on every job I ever had. Rage and swearing. I know the signs.

[Asker]

So what do I do?

[TheSpider]

Well your bridge is burning. i;d start putting resumes out there and find something else. But listen.. don't do a job you hate. i did for 40 odd years. It made ne very unpleasant.

[ChicoFromThe305]

It seems like you still have nobody asking so I'll be the first, what's wrong anon? 🙃

[Asker]

Thank you so much! We’ll I’m still having a hard time about my months death and it’s hurts so bad. I just don’t know who to turn too.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I can't imagine how that feels anon, I'm sorry about it, I hope you feel better and I know you will cause time heals all sounds even tho it doesn't always feels like it.