Why do some friends always criticize you and how you were before?

[Anonymous]

So I recently went through a huge transformation which is great. I’ve gone on a plant based diet and it’s working well for me I have an autoimmune disease so it’s just personally what’s been helping. I am feeling better than I used to. I also came off birth control. Prior to this, I struggled with horrible depression and anxiety.
My friend I recently saw is giving me tons of backhanded compliments like “you used to be so paranoid and like worried about stuff before” and “your vibe is like you came back from California” and “you look 10 years younger”

While these sound nice there’s a tone to it that I think is a little sinister like I am just SO much better now. Which makes me a little insecure.

[jorfan3]

Your friend sounds insecure and threatened by your new transformation, and tbh, it doesn't sound like she has your best interest at heart :(

Honestly, I would look into getting a new friend if I were you. It sounds like she is jealous and threatened by your improvement, and she's too immature to admit it.

[Asker]

Thanks girl. Yeah I didn’t want to overthink it or anything but I saw her on Sunday and she just kept droning on about how much *better* I am now.
I hate people who observe and comment on peoples moods constantly. It feels like they want your every move.
I find it hurtful cuz I was struggling with health issues I didn’t know much about before until now.

[Asker]

And also I should note when I don’t reply to her promptly she seems a little mad or like gives me the silent treatment.

[Asker]

She left me a voicemail once for not replying to her or something. I don't know lol

[jorfan3]

Are you guys best friends?

[Asker]

No but once during a conversation between me and a couple others (and my mom was even there) she was like “this girl is like my best friend” (meaning me).

[jorfan3]

Ugh...

[Asker]

So I feel like she really likes me and it makes me uncomfortable to like distance myself. When I’ve done that she doesn’t take the hint and just calls and texts a lot and leaves me a voicemail. Once I even blocked her at one point and she left a voicemail.

[jorfan3]

You could press charges for harassment if you really dislike her that much...

[Asker]

The thing is I like her but don’t want to be THAT close with her. It’s excessive.

[jorfan3]

Well... You could try something: try talking about YOUR best friend... Send her a message that you're not interested in her like that?

[Asker]

I’ve told her before that I’ve been really busy and can’t reply as much and she called and left me a voicemail and said she’s happy to hear I’ve been busy

😩😩

[jorfan3]

Weird...

[Asker]

But yeah I guess moral of the story I will just distance myself. I won’t cut her off completely but I just want to be cautious of who’s in my inner circle.

[jorfan3]

I totally get that. They say you become an average of your 5 closest friends. Maybe she chose you because she thought she could steam roll you?

[Asker]

I’m sorry I’m not familiar with that term. What is steam roller me?

[jorfan3]

She could control you and you'd be a "push over"

[Asker]

I think I used to be more so like that before. Not now.

[jorfan3]

What changed?

[Asker]

I’ve gained a lot of self confidence, my business is taking off, I lost weight and changed my diet, my energy is more positive, etc.

[jorfan3]

That's amazing! Congratulations 🎉👏

[Asker]

Thank you ❤️❤️ I’m just in a better place overall and don’t want anyone dragging me down.

[jorfan3]

Absolutely not! You go, girl!

[Cutegirl06]

It's not you It's her. She sounds like she may be a little jealous and insecure.