Do you think its a good or bad thing to tell the person that you’re with that its “you and me against the world”?

[DizzyDesii]

I didn’t think of it much until I saw that emotionally manipulative chart on my previous question. I was shocked to see that listed at #15. I didn’t know it was considered manipulative for a person to have such a mindset. I mean when there's so many friends, family, enemies, coworkers, politicians, and strangers screwing eachother over, why wouldn’t a person want to have that one person that they can tell “its you and me against the world”. I mean is it really any different from two best friends saying that to one another? Or a parent saying that to their child? Is it considered being too dependent on someone? I don't know break it down for me…#FeelFreeToList

[Rosexøxø]

I think something like this depends on the people involved and how trustworthy they are, how reliable both are in general, how honest they are, and also the mentality they have.

the biggest thing this should be is an offer of their loyalty to their partner? Not a demand of loyalty FROM their partner to them only or some sworn in oath matter where the other gives their all but the one who made this statement to them doesn’t give their all. The reciprocation part.

The other biggest thing is that this is something about LOYALTY and NOT ISOLATION. That the partner doesn’t hold their expectations over the other to “stick” remain with them like joint the hip if the partner doesn’t personally wish for that. I think it has to be an agreement, and there has to be defined boundaries and definitions of what the them vs the world would look like realistically. Is it this isolation and hostility? Aggression or violence? Or is it loyalty and having the options to use resources and people to network with if the two partners need or desire that. Like what happens if they get stuck over a communicative roadblock or one gets in a bad accident will they not consult friends or family or counseling? Will they not seek physical therapy? The specifics should be mentioned if the partner saying this is very serious about it.

I think lastly it shouldn’t be the partner saying this just to use it later and shame their partner for not being the level of ride or die that they wanted or EXPECTED. Not a placement of expectations, but an offer because that’s what a loving supportive relationship does, and if the one saying it expects a certain level of commitment to them which is also fair enough, then they should propose that to their partner and kind of go along seeing if the partner agrees to be that invested. You know the level of intensity or devotion. If the partner loves them they’ll see it as devotion, if they’re more laid back as person OR not so committed to them or loving of them then they’ll see it as something intense.

I think this stuff should be weighed in a serious context or if someone sees red flags with the partners, but otherwise this is just another sweet romance to share.

[DizzyDesii]

I think it sounds better coming from two people who are in the same boat in terms of how theyve been treated by others. Of course it’ll get misconstrued if one person is living the life and the other is shit out of luck

[Rosexøxø]

Yes! I agree. I think it can be something that bonds them closer and a way to remind them/ a reminder of being able to relate in that way or understand them in that way because of the struggles they had/ have / or still facing.

I haven’t said something like this though I wanted it when I was younger just me and my boo, but at this time where I know I’m not the most reliable, I get concerned over my partner, because he says and I say that we two are each others’ only family.

He doesn’t have too many resources and even less than me. I don’t have the most in all honesty, so if I think it were a life or death situation could I be that for him? Family? Help him survive? Can I make him happy?

[Rosexøxø]

It makes me worried if him deciding to be loyal to me on this level would hurt him. Once he needed money because of repair for his bike to get to work, and he’s starting out in accumulating savings. He’s a super hard worker this is a fact and another thing is he never asks for help! lol so him being loyal to me having some misfortune and not networking means when he hits on hard times I have to either watch in pain and cross 🤞 and hope for the best, or try to help in the too small of ways that I can.

Once I saw him not eating and just drinking water… and I was like please let me send you some money. Just until you get paid and only use it for food!!! lol

But it’s stuff like this realistically that makes me ready to push him towards the next best thing.

He still refuses so I don't know if this means when you’re ride or die you share in the good times and bad times together. The heartaches and celebrations but be there as much as you can for each other where you can?

For me I can’t stand it to see someone I love suffer and so much than what is even ever needed. I’m more now as an adult an opportunist so on my end I try to do that and balance loyalty and I wish he would do the same. Trust each other while we try to make gains and branch out but have that red string tied to our fingers that always keeps us coming back to each other.

Am I being unfair? Ridiculous? Hard to say, but I see what you’re saying.

The struggles bonds each other. Hopefully for the best. Hopefully it’s a one time thing to learn from instead of a lifetime of hardship.

I’m a ride or die not a ride and pain lol 😂

[DizzyDesii]

I almost miss when struggles helped in bonding. Now they make people run lol. And he refuses what? To let you give money

[Rosexøxø]

Same and just to clarify for our case it’s not me running the way I see it it’s just me not wanting to waste this great guy’s time and give him a harder way to go, as well as in my personal life I don’t run from struggles but I avoid them best I can. Adversity can build some character and struggles can bond some people and couples for sure, but at the same time I don’t exactly feel need for it in my own life and I don’t praise it either. Well- I try my best not to. I try to be a problem solver and avoid any issue that would make the overall goals and destination delayed or harder and less beneficial.

Yeah he had refused but luckily accepted last time and let me forward it. He was able to buy decent meals in the end of the month until he got paid. First time I was able to see him eat hearty. And it felt like basic health was a total splurge. I mean I just smiled from ear to ear knowing I helped make that possible and seeing my husband to get the nourishment he needs and extra boost as he continues on. Lord knows I don’t need or want that man dying anytime soon or before me!

10/10 experience. If I could do it again I would but the budgets simply won’t allow at this point in time. If I get into the career I would like then that could be a his and my reality.

[electromagnetic]

Realistically speaking I think it depends on the people. My partner doesn’t have parents and his siblings are pretty messed up. I’m not closed to my family either and other than my parents and siblings, i don’t depend on anyone. So for us, bring us against the world seems really good and the odds are well within our favour.
I think it’s a good thing. But others who have very much knit communities this may not apply and they might feel like they’re being force to pick between their community or their partner.

[DizzyDesii]

Makes a lot of sense

[Billlewis]

Maybe, but probably not.

[DizzyDesii]

Which of the two

[DizzyDesii]

Sorry thinking of the other auestion

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's kinda a tricky one. I can see both sides I guess. On one hand like saying you and me against the world seems pretty romantic and like you'll always have each others backs no matter what. Like you can trust and count on that person through anything. But I guess if you think about it, it could also be like kinda possessive and controlling too?

Like if someone feels like they ONLY have that one person and it's just them against everything else, they might feel like they can't do anything without the other person or be their own person sometimes, you know? And the other person might use that to always get their way and feel important. It should be more like you support each other through stuff as a team, not like one person is more important than anything else.

Relationships should probably not be like you're the only thing that matters to me cause then that's too much pressure I think. People need other friends and families too for balance. So maybe just enjoy being close without making it sound like nothing else in the world is as important as just the two of you if that makes sense. Hope this helps explain it a little! Let me know if you have any other questions!

[DoggyDude]

I think its just an expression. Though I could see how someone could contrive to abuse it.

I think if a relationship is generating a need to use it, that doesn't work both ways (meaning both sides expressing it to each other) its contrived and worrysome (or simply immature).

That said, I think its a natural coupling activity to find some expression to bond over. Something which captures the relationship for both parties and is sort of a private in joke between partners. So if it was something happening when the couple got together it persisting throughout the relationship, as a private in joke is just cute.

[alice55]

I think it's a good things, it's show they're on your side no matter what even if the whole world hate you.

In my family some people are toxic and my father told said to me that the only important were us (him, my mother and my sister) all the others didn't count if they were being shitty to me.

I really don't see in what it's a bad things.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i tell my fam all the time that i only care about them but not the extended fam. Yet they dont show that same loyalty in return

[mandyfire98]

I think it's because it can be a way of isolating them from people they love.

"You and me against the world"

Can be camouflage for "It's you and me and everybody else is bad for you and you shouldn't want to give any time to them at all. Only to me. It us vs them. "

[DizzyDesii]

I meeeeean 🙃

[mandyfire98]

Hahaha

[BoopBoopBeep]

I think there's a lot of truth to what @mandyfire98

I also think your eyelashes are like butterflies when you sleep and if you could leave a blanket out here in your bushes I wouldn't be so cold and TRUST NO ONE I am here for you always. Right here. By the azalea. Silently weeping. Maybe not so silently. Did I mention the lack of blanket? It's me, you, and a good blanket against the world. Or against the side of the house because it can get quite windy out here and with a blanket I could build a fort.

[BoopBoopBeep]

FML..."what @mandyfire98 said"... SAID!

Curse you edit button!

[Paradiseequeen]

Im about to post a question as well because your post just made me remember something.. I think that some people use that saying so loosely. To have a partner thats with you through all the battles, still loyal and etc plus bring a positive influence in your life is worth more than having the world. Don’t need to play the lottery to find out my man is way better than having the world plus their opinions

[DizzyDesii]

Good point

[Rosexøxø]

@Paradiseequeen and @DizzyDesii

Someone said in another post that if they cared they wouldn’t have to say it. It would be slightly bias even if true because you shouldn’t have to say it but show it

It’s already proven

So I think the same could go for this.

Shouldn’t have to say it if you were already with them in so many battles

But if it’s for extra effect then yes

If you say it with no proof it could be as

@ShadezMcgee said and they could be dependent or manipulating and hoping their partner they said that to would come through for them

Help or do most of the work while they encourage you on/ do the loving but don’t actually help in the whole team aspect of two vs the world and its problems or range of disloyal people as you mentioned desii

[ShadezMcgee]

To put it simply it can be viewed as manipulation and dependence when those words may not be remotely true. There is more than one way to the top of the mountain.

My saying "it's you and me against the world" you are invalidating any other possible paths, other individuals, their power and strength as a person by saying doing it together with then is the only option. So yeah, that is a way you can look at it.

[DizzyDesii]

I see. But i kinda like what i see

[Rosexøxø]

Yeah because maybe the partner really loves them but doesn’t have that same ride or die mentality or just really this hostility dynamic between them and the world instead of seeing it as one of opportunities. I still think though that they can both win against the faults of the world even if they still make use of what’s handed to them or placed in their path and and also that which they can use for a time.

Even if it’s them two being PARTNERS but teaming up with someone who knows something they can use along the way temporarily.

Like just because it’s them two doesn’t mean they can’t consult with a doctor lol it’s not treason to do that but maybe them trying to make the most of everything and what they’ve got meanwhile remaining loyal and always trying to help the other succeed.

Who knows I feel like there could be a lot of variations but the most important thing is that if anyone of us heard someone say that to us we understand if we can trust them and what the boundaries for a statement like that is. Otherwise it’s fine.

And if we say that or them it’s important we let them make their own free decisions using their best judgement and vice versa. In this case the saying could be harmless.

[ShadezMcgee]

... what?

[Rosexøxø]

Alright, this marks me not adding to things you say here on out. It’s the one time you made a comment I could resonate with a bit but C’est la vie. Feel free to remove my comment @DizzyDesii I’m blocking him. I don’t have patience for remarks like that.

@ShadezMcgee block me back. Thanks. And best to you.

[ShadezMcgee]

@Rosexøxø whoa, hold on a second, I wasn't replying to you. I was replying to Dizzy's first comment on my reply. Yours wasn't even visible when I replied.

[Joshydavid25]

I think it depends.. If a couple is going through a dire situation and they're sticking together no matter what, then those are words you definitely wouldn't mind hearing.. I personally wouldn't mind hearing that from my SO.. But I can see how it could be used for manipulation.. Like somebody trying to tear their SO away from any people outside of their relationship..

[DizzyDesii]

Maybeee

[Drew-1990]

I don't see a problem. I can see the benefit to having that mentality that is me and a girl together against the world. Someone to trust and care about. Someone that I care more about than any other human in the world.

[DizzyDesii]

Yes :)

[RHK36]

It's really only worth maybe saying if they are the person. Meaning you've been gone through some stuff together over a period of time. When people say shit in absolutes, it loses the meaning if it gets overused.

[DizzyDesii]

Ahhh

[Rosexøxø]

@RHK36 yeah I saw someone say similar about another value/virtue/ topic

I think it also loses its meaning when they never do come through and it was an empty word all along

We can only trust when people say this when they’ve been there for us for some time already

And when they’ve displayed/ demonstrated what they said already through other stuff and when they’ve already come through beforehand.

How can you trust the weight of someone’s words if they don’t prove they mean their word almost as if by oath. Anyways thanks for your easy to ready but well constructed statement. Helped bring clarity to more stuff on this matter.

[DryGermanGuy]

Ugh. Why, even? People claiming the whole world being against them have massive problems to admit that maybe the heart of the matter lies with them.

[DizzyDesii]

Maybe

[Rosexøxø]

Yeah it’s 50/50 and then having that outlook seems like they’re sharing that or trying to enforce that on to the other person they’re saying that to without letting that person make their own conclusions ideologies.

[Ms_Facesitter]

It's neither, it won't affect us really. I think it's more bad because you make it seem like you both have no family or friends left besides your partner.

[DizzyDesii]

Having fam and friends left doesn't mean they are good fam/friends. They have may treated them badly thus leaving them to feel like its just the two of them

[Ms_Facesitter]

That's true, but in the case they are decent people, I don't think that quote feels great.

[Agape93]

Yeah it's cheesy as hell. I take that and ride or die literally, so I will literally make it a us vs them situation

[DizzyDesii]

Ooooo i like

[SunnyRS]

It depends on the context in which it is said.
Suppose it is said in a way that the other person starts feeling hostile towards the rest of the world making them over depended on their partner then it is bad.

[DizzyDesii]

Hopefully no one says it crazy like that

[SunnyRS]

You won't believe there are people like that present

[exitseven]

I came from a dysfunctional family and most of my close friends are dead. I know that my wife and I have got each other backs

[DizzyDesii]

Sorry about your friends

[exitseven]

I just lost my best friend since the second grade last November. It has been hard.

[Wiredone]

I think it's good. It confirms that they really care about you and they would do anything for you.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea prob the closest thing to ride or die

[Wiredone]

Exactly 💯

[jahaims]

Intention determines if it is manipulation. Everyone is technically manipulating everyone and everything. That is partly why intentions are important.

[DizzyDesii]

So if the partner is intentionally exaggerating just to get my friend to be more emotional, thats when its considered manipulative?

[jahaims]

If that was his intention behind the action, then yes, that is intentional manipulation.

[DizzyDesii]

Was this opinion meant for the other question?

[jahaims]

The reply was at your question you asked in reply

[Twalli]

I don't see it as problematic unless they seek to make it a reality and you can't form any other connections

[DizzyDesii]

Hmmm

[Twalli]

Like everyone should have people they are close to besides their partner.

[nawtee_me]

Why would I want to think that the world was against me even if my girlfriend was with me in it?

[DizzyDesii]

Mmmm

[Jamie05rhs]

I personally think that that's what relationships are SUPPOSED to be!

[DizzyDesii]

I agree

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks!