Is it possible for parents to dishonor their child?

[mobiusforniner]

We’ve all heard the biblical principle of honoring your parents, but is it possible for parents to dishonor their child?

I grew up with parents who berated me and beat me. Now I’m a career adult with my own family. Professionally, I worked my way up to an executive position.

A while ago I was shopping with my mom and dad and I ran into a machinist from my company whom I’ve worked with many years. The machinist was so excited to see me and I introduced him to my parents. My dad immediately launched into a berating rant. “You know this loser?” My dad pointed to me. The machinist was confused. “It’s an honor to work with your son, sir”. My dad replied “Well you don’t know how much of a loser he is like I do”. The machinist responded “you are very wrong, sir.” He then looked at me, said “I’m sorry” and walked away.

I was livid and told my parents I was ashamed of them. My mom demanded I apologize for “making them look bad in public”

I feel like I’m at a point where I’ve outgrown my family of origin.

[NamerOfStars]

Of course. The Commandment is in place primarily as a tool of social order; were it strictly religious, it'd be covered by ""You shall not have other gods before me".

Assholery knows no bounds.

[mobiusforniner]

The stigma or societal expectation is that children honor their parents, no matter the circumstance. But I find it especially difficult to honor someone who is, by virtue, being disrespectful, regardless who they are.

[NamerOfStars]

Naturally.

[Friendlybro79]

I'm sorry to hear how your Dad treated you. I hate saying this but you don't need to deal with that at all. I'd lay the ground rules with them and if they don't like it then let em be on their own. You don't deserve that at all.

[mobiusforniner]

They refuse to believe they did anything wrong here. They say they are my parents and therefore must be respected. But how does one respect someone who behaves like this? You’re right. I’m done. Other issues occurred since then and I’ve been no contact for some time now.

[Friendlybro79]

You're an adult now not a child. I swear some people have children for the sole person to tear them down their entire lives. You clearly persevered despite your parents abusive ways. Someone who berates and beats a child doesn't deserve a relationship in adulthood. It sucks because it shouldn't be that way but this is on them completely. You should be proud of yourself for all you've accomplished and how other people around you, like that work colleague, appreciate you.

[4ngelic]

yea obviously. like for ex if you're a mom and you post vids of yourself on the hub and everyone knows about it, or you're a dad and you cheat on your wife with a 14yo and it gets exposed

[mobiusforniner]

Gawd. I guess my folks are saints. Lol

[OtterMan68]

yes, of course it is