What advice would you give to new parents?

Question

My baby is due any day now, it’s crazy to think about how much my life is going to change, as well as my partners life. What’s some advice that you would give to new parents?

b_lova · Accepted Answer

I don't have to bring up the most important thing, love, because you asked this question so I feel like that will be automatic.

Be patient, but encourage progress.

Know that sometimes caring about their overall well being means letting them cry. In a baby's mind you are their servant and exist only to provide their needs. You have to slowly get them to understand that is not the case.

Give them distance to grow independent but be there when you see them about to fall.

Children want and need discipline, but it's not okay to abuse them, especially if they are a "strong willed" child. If you are consistent and start when they are toddlers they will always remember the boundaries and fall in line. I would rather discipline them as children then watch them spend their life in jail.

Listen and treat them a couple months to years older than what is deemed the average pace and they will grow into it.

Read to them and get them hooked on books from a very early age.

Teach and expect them to clean up behind themselves. That discipline is about more than sanitation and hygiene. It's also an instructor of time management and teaches respect of your things and other people's time. Especially boys for some reason mothers don't do that with boys but will with girls.

Let the 0-18 year old choose the speed they advance, but don't let them be lazy.

Let them get away with the little stuff. In other words don't be so strict they rebell just to have a little fun.

Always be honest and be an example of how you want them to live. They watch and see everything, even when you think they are not paying attention.

Have the hard talks before others do. Especially about sex.

As they get older and go through their rebellious phase, in their teens, it's okay if they get mad at you when you force them to do what's right and not relive your mistakes. They may thank you for it later.

Each child is different and if they get siblings don't expect them all to be the same and never compare them to each other.

Remember that you and the father are a team, be consistent and work as one. That means sharing in all things including diaper duty and snuggle time with the baby. The baby is made from both of you and need you both equally.

Once they become adults your role changes to friend and advisor so live your life with that in mind. Don't try to live your dreams through them. Let them become who they want to be and not a mini you.

RetroReviews · Accepted Answer

Raise them like it's in the 90s meaning don't be giving them phones and tablets to be mesmerized with at such a young age. Even when I get older limit their screen time because I think enough data exists now to where we can see how damaging and addicting the devices and gadgets can be. Not to mention the poison and evil content that's on the web. Some people have said when you hand your kids these devices you're giving Satan access to your kids... Buying this regular toys if it's a boy some Tonka trucks or Legos if it's a girl Barbie dolls, play kitchen items like the oven refrigerators. Coloring books. When they become old enough to read but I am real books not a Kindle. The bottom line don't shove a screen in their face and have it be there babysitter like so many parents are doing nowadays. And when they get older be their parent not their friend meaning that times show them tough love and discipline when it's needed. That's the best advice I can give

Seinna · Accepted Answer

Love your children as they are, but don't forget that ultimately your job is to prepare them for life as independent adults. So don't coddle them, allow them to experience consequences of their actions and provide safety and good nutrition. Establish good habits early on, be vigilant of who and what they come into contact with.

As for baby care - if you have family or friends nearby, lean on them. Get sleep whenever you can. If you chose to breastfeed don't get discouraged, it's really hard for most new mothers and hospitals and midwives will often push the formula on you rather than encourage you to try to breastfeed.

If you'll have a boy, look into circumcision and why it is NOT a good idea to do it, certainly not just because of a tradition. Don't allow cord clipping in the first 15 mins after birth, don't allow vit K injection unless your baby must undergo a surgery after birth. There is a reason why newborns have thinner blood and it's not only in humans but in animals too. That is to allow stem cells from the cord (if you don't clip prematurely) to get into the brain and heal the micro injuries that the baby gets during birth. After 8 days their blood will clot like normal and for healthy babies there is no reason why they'd bleed before that time (unless you circumcise). The blood loss associated with birth belongs to the mother.

If you chose to listen to doctors and have your baby sleep on their back, you must be even more diligent with tummy time to avoid misshapen skull. Personally I had my baby sleep on the side. You're welcome to do your own research on this topic but the sudden infant death syndrome is caused by vaccination and not by a sleeping position. If you're unsure of it, it's always better to delay - in Japan for example, children are vaccinated only after they turn 2 years old. Before that a child's blood-brain barrier isn't developed and anything that gets into their bloodstream gets into their brain... and hence the mental health problems epidemics in developed countries. But that is up to you to research, I won't try to convince you as your child's safety is your responsibility. If you chose to follow any my suggestions you also have to make sure the baby never leaves your sight/your partner watches over them at all times. Hospitals often don't respect parents' wishes unless you're there to enforce them.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Congrats.

Love them but try not to smother them and let your anxieties take over too much. Kids can be damaged as much by neglect as by too much focus and pressure. The pressure part won't come until later, but just try to remember that parenting styles change over the decades, and with different generations, and more things that are learned, both by the individual parents, and by society as a whole. Letting your baby cry sometimes, without rushing to their aid immediately is okay, it's not going to permanently scar them. You will find the balance between caring for them, and teaching them subtlely to also self-soothe (as just one example). There's a ton of people with anxiety now. And new parent anxiety will probably be something you'll face. But just try to take everything in stride. Relaxed parents make for happy children.

Good luck.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

My mom was the same age as you when my younger brother was born.

From her experience, I’d give you an unusual advice,

Be selfish,

Put yourself first,

My mother sacrificed her life for us, but in the end she stayed unfulfilled in what was her dream and see my her unhappy often made us feel confused and unhappy too.

So, I’d wish you to put your dreams and goals forward and while embracing this absolute happiness of having a child, don’t forget yourself, love yourself and keep some time for yourself and your own personal happiness and fulfillment.

Because in the end children grow up and leave and you are left with only person who’ll never leave you : YOU.

Take care of her and your children will be thankful and grateful, as well as relieved and happy to have a happy and a fulfilled mother.

sage2021 · Answer

Just plan taking shifts so each of you can get some good sleep.

Always wear a cloth diaper over your shoulder so you don't get spit up (or vomit) all over you. You might have to buy those yourself though.

Have all the things you will need like a baby rectal thermometer, liquid Tylenol for babies in case of fever. Once again the cloth diapersbcone in handy to wet and cool baby down because they are soft.

See if your baby takes to a pacifier (binky)
My son did and what a life saver that was. That is if you approve of them.

Good luck 🍀
I hope all goes well for you and your new little family.

Effably · Answer

Mostly what others are saying. Lean on friends and family. Make sure you can both get rest sometime. Make sure to take a day off sometime to be adults together.

Raising children really has historically not been a one or two person job. It has traditionally been shared between multiple generations and family. While it is in itself quite simple and rewarding, the constant state of hypersensitivity will wear on you. That is; You can spend 3 hours sitting on a couch and feel completely worn out after it. Separate real and fake rest.

And again: Time to remember what your parent's favorite gifts are so you can bribe them to take the kid off your hands for some hours here and there.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

sleep... don't clean, don't wash, don't try to be perfect. Sleep when your baby sleeps.

After more or less three weeks your child start to be sensitive to sounds... so be prepared that every nap will be broken by some sounds... sleep with your baby, as much as you can... you have to have strength to breastfeed and take care of your little one

Anonymous · Answer

Know that it's okay if you don't feel an immediate connection to your baby. However, if you feel you still haven't formed a bond after a couple of weeks, seek immediate help for possible postpartum depression.

start tummy time before they turn one month of age.

Don't feel pressured or beat yourself up if you don't wish to breastfeed or are unable to. Don't rush and have sex. Listen to the doctor's advice when they tell you to wait x amount of weeks.

know that you will be sleep deprived, so try and share the caring duties.

Learn about colic and reflux in babies.

sit and read to baby even as a newborn. Maybe even try and learn some sign language.

make sure you take care of yourself and try and get sleep when baby is sleeping

slatyb · Answer

If you expect a three-year-old to o things there-year-olds can do, you will both be happy. If you expect a there-year-old to do things that five-year-oops can do, you will both be miserable.

Also never punish. Find a book on discipline by natural and logical consequences.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Best wishes on your new arrival, I wish you and your partner the very best:) I know you're going to be a good Mother and that means a lot no matter I can't tell you to give the baby loads of love because I know that is already happening :-) -Hugs-

Lynnzee · Answer

When the baby sleep you should sleep too. Don't worry about being the perfect parent it does not exist and mistakes will be made. Hopefully you and your partner agree on how you want raise the child as far as things like religion go.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Set a good example and show them the example you want to set.  Feed them an education. Literally feed them how to eat and create good habits at a young age. Your kids don't need soda and garbage food.  Exercise with them to help them even if it's just calisthenics Have fun with them This is coming from a person that doesn't have kids but wishes my parents did this for me instead of making me feel like a burden.

IWILLPLEASEYOU · Answer

I have been there, I have a bit of advice a mom is the most important thing to your baby and you are going to love your baby with your heart you will love it forever but your kid at times drive you and the baby's DAD CRAZY Don't know if you have a boy or girl if you have a little girl I can warn her daddy that 1 day and she brings home a boyfriend and you will remember that what's on mind.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

My advice: don't give them a handphone or let them watch TV half of the day :)

Don't force them to become ''special'', ''talented'' or ''successful'' - but give them stimulation to develop all these out of their own (if they wish to).

ChocolatePikachu95 · Answer

It depends are you with baby daddy or is he not interested

Secret6620 · Answer

✨I'm actually wanting to be a first time mommy soon!!! So I am here for the comments! 🩷 Excellent question! 🍼🤱

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

Not a parent yet so can't give reliable advice, but do not forget to take care of yourself. ❤️ Congratulations! And welcome new babyyy! ❤️🥰

Apple1996 · Answer

Don't take others advice about parenting. Even doctors or professionals. They don't know you or your baby. So do whatever you feel is best

CindyRuns · Answer

Get plenty of rest !!! ... Nap when the baby naps !!! Make sure to have time for each other... it's easy to forget with a newborn !!!

tfan1 · Answer

Accept any and all help. If they want to give you baby clothes from when their kids were babies, as long as they are washed and clean and no holes, accept them.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Schedule your Mommy me time, and have a conversation with your husband about expectations for sharing child care.

OtterMan68 · Answer

share the duties read to your child often sing the ABC song often Make time for yourselves if you have a trusted babysitter: relative, for example.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Keep your kids away from the internet and phones till they are at least 16.

TheDaydreamer · Answer

honestly you have to figure it out along the way, every situation is different. But i'm sure you'll do great! :)

exitseven · Answer

It is a lot of work but in the end it will be worth it.

Anonymous · Answer

Get sleep when you can. Support one another. Remember you're still a couple and need time to support that aside from parenting.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Love and nurture. Sounds obvious, but a lot of people fail in these basics.

MineTime · Answer

Make sure your kid has hopes, dreams, and plans for the future early on. Even if that plan is unrealistic make sure they at least have one.

WillL89 · Answer

Be patient and when you come home from work don’t look forward to rest but to spend time with ur kid.

NathanDavis · Answer

drink lots of water

laly520 · Answer

gentle parenting is the key

Anonymous · Answer

We have a 2 year old, my advice: run

Iron_Man · Answer

Take care of the baby and love that baby

eagle1951 · Answer

be patient and stay calm

What advice would you give to new parents?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Best wishes on your new arrival, I wish you and your partner the very best:) I know you're going to be a good Mother and that means a lot no matter I can't tell you to give the baby loads of love because I know that is already happening :-) -Hugs-