Any advice for raising strong and confident daughters?

Question

I take my 6-year-old daughter on daddy-daughter dates often, and she’s so full of life—she loves cheering, dancing, and gymnastics. I always encourage her before she performs by telling her, "You’re beautiful, strong, and confident!" because I believe she is, and I want her to believe it too. However, I’ve been wondering if I’m missing any important qualities. Ladies, as women, what do you feel is the most essential trait to believe about yourself?

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

I wish I'd had a dad like you. :)

Right now, she is developmentally moving into more balanced brain chemistry. Things are slowing down, she's in the sweet spot. In a few years, that will change and she will start acting out. The film Inside Out 2 gives a great example of this, actually.

I think the most important thing would be to validate her feelings in the moment, and then follow up with some good questions later that are designed to help her think through her thoughts and feelings and not necessarily accept everything she thinks as accurate or true. This takes finesse. If she is doing most of the talking, you're on the right track.

For example, let's say someone at her school says girls with blonde hair are the prettiest. That's an idea that may have never entered her mind before. When she gets home, she's feeling low because she has brown hair. You notice her low spirits and say "What's up, pretty girl?" She shrugs. That signals you that something is up and affects your emotions because you want her to always be your happy sparkle girl. When she isn't, you want to fix it. But you don't need to fix it, because being sad or disappointed or embarrassed are part of being human. If you try to force her back to happygram land, you'll unintentionally send the message that the only acceptable feeling for her to have is happy.

A way to consider handling it is to enter her space and listen. There's no need to contradict or criticize the bad information. You just need to embrace her painful feelings with her to help her see that we share the things that hurt instead of hiding them or pretending they don't exist. You can't shield her from all the painful things that she will encounter. But you can be with her as she learns how to navigate them, and share painful things that happened to you as a kid, if it's relevant.

A girl who is guided through handling all different kind of feelings in a healthy way, and is neither afraid of nor ruled by them, will have an excellent shot at becoming a strong and confident woman, regardless of whether or not she can change a tire. Just some thoughts. :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

First of all, thank you for caring about your daughter so much, and being so thoughtful as to ask this question (although I do have my doubts about you).

Daddy-daughter dates are just funny and useless priveleged-people spoildness. Sorry.

If you really want her to grow and be confident, teach her how to tame men. Show her a man's weaknesses. That requires true bravery on your part.

If she says "no" to something, it means "no". Don't argue with her or try to change her mind.

Spend 30 minutes a day listening to her talk.

Show gratitude for any little thing she does for you.

If you make her a promise, KEEP IT at any cost.

If she shares her opinion with you, take it seriously, and ACTUALLY implement it in your family life.

Give her power in your home.

Backup physical feminine care. Girls bodies are different from boys. We have 2 whole extra organs that often lead a life of their own. This includes protecting abortion and contraceptive care. If your daughter is forced to stay in a relationship because she does not control over her reproductive body, you will have basically forced her into a prison or slavery.

Trust her instincts.

Practice actually showing her respect in your real life day to day scenarios.

Don't just reward and acknowledge her boyish accomplishments, but also when she displays nurturing behavior, does chores, manages social relationships, or spends time on her appearance.

I know it's torture for you, but take her shopping 😁.

Besides telling her that she's beautiful, help her FEEL it. Beauty has a strong instinctive effect on girls. Take pictures of her every now and then, make collages and put them up on a wall somewhere.

Girls like beauty of all kinds, and cleanliness. It's their instinctive guide. Just as food is yours.

When you do these things, she'll know this is what she should be expecting from society as well, and if someone isn't offering her these things, then that person is in the wrong, not her. This will definitely build her confidence.

Thomas9352 · Accepted Answer

Hey Dude, I raised two daughters... So, can I tell you those were the best days of my life. Sounds like you are doing a great job with your daughter. I would suggest this... Try to get your daughter into sports. Even better a sport you can both train together in... like running. Sports are tough, but life is also tuff, well life is very fucking tuff. I started running with my daughter to help her get ready for high school soccer. Well, she got cut from soccer on try outs... I was like fuuuck... right... Anyway, I pumped her up and encouraged her to look for another sport... Well, go figure, she decided to do cross-country. Well, cut to the chase, she was the Captain of the Team her Senior year. I have a similar story for my other daughter... I would add another paragraph to tell you that great story, but this isn't about me... It's about you and your daughter... well there's my advise... So. P. S. my daughter graduated with Honors from University... She then earned her Master's graduating with Honors. My friend, be the inspiration for your daughter...

Cripplingkingship · Accepted Answer

Keep going pal, not many parents out their pushing their kids to be confident. I think that those most important thing to do as parent, is to raise your children to be confident and high self-esteem, because without these qualites its going to be hard for her or him to make any thing of themselves.

Your encouragement is a powerful foundation for her! Adding reminders like, "You are worthy of love and respect, exactly as you are," or "You have everything within you to handle whatever comes your way," can also build a lasting belief in herself. You’re doing a wonderful job already; she’s lucky to have such a thoughtful dad in her life!

Just keep believing her, regardless of what life throws at me. You should listen to venus and williams sisters father on youtube. He instilled great self belief them.

You have my respect, for what you are doing that for your daughter. Keep going and don't stop.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Growing up as a girl, one thing you learn - whether it’s intentional or not - from society is that your feelings aren’t as important as someone else’s. A lot of girls will grow up with people-pleasing habits because they’re taught to be that way, to make it easier on the adults around them, and they’re praised for it. I. e. “A pleasure to have in class” because she doesn’t disrupt or ask questions, or just comparisons to how much more diligent girls are in school settings. I know at age 6 she won’t be going anywhere but kindergarten right now, but make sure she knows it’s okay to put her feelings first so she doesn’t have to go through the process of undoing the idea that her self-worth lies in the praises and compliments of others. Let her be angry, and cry, and tell her it’s good for her to feel that way and express those feelings as long as it doesn’t linger for days on end, “don’t go to bed angry” and all that. I know it puts stress on you as a parent, but it’s something to note as these ideas will be from influences you can’t control.

Altheavas · Answer

I am not the best mother, but my children loves me.
Teach her about

Communication,(ask questions, analyze, and she’s entitled to her opinion)
People are entitled to their opinion too/they’re usually subjective
Respect others, create boundaries, no tolerance to disrespect is a form of boundaries too.
Confidence wear everything beautifully
Taught her about being realistic/transparency
Guide her through her ways, not suppressed them
Don’t belittle her, she’s not perfect
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, it’s relative
Hard work pay off, be educated and be beautiful
Trust her intuition, reciprocate energies/dont kiss ass.
She can only save herself don’t wait for someone to save her, no one knows her best than herself
Value yourself first
Being angry is okay, anger can be in silence too, you don’t have to yell or blasting off. You loose too much energy and a sense of self.

I got plenty more I talk to her about, but yeah those are the things I taught her

ChooChooHaha · Answer

Honesty with everyone around you. And especially yourself.
Communicate.
Be reasonable.
Raising me with the understanding of choice. I CHOOSE. I decide my fate. Don't always believe authority and obey, always think for yourself.
Stand up for yourself and the people you care about. And what you do care about.

Have self control.

NO VIOLENCE AGAINST ANYONE. Especially not against a child.

She doesn't always need a significant other. But you choose them, they choose you.

Always, ALWAYS have your daughter's back. Whatever it is.

Hold her accountable when needed. Make sure she knows there are consequences to her actions, and that she should admit it when she does something wrong and apologize sincerely. If she is wrong, help her understand where.

DON'T LIE TO HER.

Make sure she's empathetic. Self aware. A sense of compassion to everyone, especially herself.

Don't make excuses, but when needed, she should exercise forgiveness, even to herself.

Understand we are all human. Everyone is.

Make sure consent and psychology are understood. Power dynamics.
** That was a big one. **

And that she's capable of just about anything. Doesn't matter how old you are. Doesn't matter any of your demographics. Run circles around everyone, literally or figuratively. she can be smart enough to out maneuver adults.

She should always be humble so she can always learn.

Also, no criminality from herself or others around her.

Account · Answer

Let her make decisions. If you want to buy her a toy, take her with you and allow her to choose what she wants. Let her choose what she likes wearing, let her play with other kids and do not berrate her if her clothes get dirty or if she gets hurt.
What I am trying to say is that along with security give her some sense of freedom.

Allow her to ask questions and do not discourage her or make her feel dumb for doing so.
Teach her responsibility, if she makes a mistake, teach her to own up to it.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Ask my 17 years old daughter 😊.

one thing I never told her at a younger age… is that she is very pretty…

I teach her how to be kind, polite, respectful, teach her to build her inner beauty. Learn to be assertive (string) know when to say no. How to make good decisions, learn how to pick the right friends… I can share a lot about parenting if you want to learn more. My son is 15. Daughter 17.
I want to raise him to be strong… maybe he is still too young.. but I sense he is weaker than I would like him to be.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think you want her to have her own internal driver - she has to know she can assure herself she is beautiful and smart and kind if the people are not telling her that. Another thing is to teach her to delay trusting others, and teach her how to detect red flags in others. If she is beautiful and smart, men might want to target her for a relationship, you have to teach her proper rejection methods and the art of evasion, making herself impossible to talk to, which is safer than directly turning down an aggressive guy that might not accept no for an answer. Teach her to reject bad behaviours and people who do bad things. Teach her morals are more important than popularity. If she does not believe that, she might be influenced by popular people who drink or do drugs.

ohsheeT · Answer

Yes teach them how to be confident and kind with a beautiful heart

Also you have to remember if you're married or if you have a girlfriend they're watching you every move that you make every word that you say they're watching to see how you treat that person because when they grow up they're going to be looking for a guy just like you

So always remember if you argue with your partner if you yell and scream with your partner they're going to think that's the normal and they're going to look for a guy just like you just like that so make sure everything you say to your partner your girlfriend whoever is kind is beautiful caring and understanding do not try to control to try to manipulate and do not lie

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

For my young male non parent perspective I think spending as much quality time with her as you can, exposing her to new things (as you're clearly doing), and being the example by treating your wife (or partner) with love and respect are some really important things.

When she gets older, things will inevitably get harder and more complicated, as human growth is. When those times come, be there for her when she makes her mistakes. Always make sure she has one man on planet earth she trusts implicitly regardless of her age.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

You are doing a great Job. Your daughter will always love you. From what it seems you are raising your daughter in a good positive healthy environment which in my personal opinion it's very important for a parent to provide positive for the child. A lot of parents out there never provide that instead they raised the child in total chaos. You are doing great 👍👍👍👍👍 . Good Job 👍👍👍👍

fantasticass · Answer

I would teach her about safety. Does she know your address if she had to call 911 . Does she know your phone number? Open up a bank account in her name with her present. Teach her about saving money. Teach her money management as she gets older. Teach her how to change the tire on the car
Strong confident woman know how to manage money and fix our cars 🚙

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

Good books and movies/cartoons. I guess at that age, they tend to rely more on visuals to learn. And always tell her to say "no" on certain scenarios, while explaining it clearly. Self defense/ swimming classes might be a great idea in a few years. ♡

DrPepper12 · Answer

Honesty at age appropriateness. If she can ask, you should tell

Body image, consent & autonomy. It hers and hers completely. Full stop. How she choose to present herself or act is HER DECISION.

Academics matter. You're on the right path, now you need to develop the very necessary qualities of patience, diligence and consistency.

Any advice for raising strong and confident daughters?

MannMitAntworten · Answer

This advice goes for daughters, sons, other family and friends … illustrate that they ‘can’ and if they can’t that there isn’t shame in asking for help … because even the strongest need a helping hand. Guide them. Be their mentor and build them up. It will amaze you as they begin to figure it out on your own.

Unit1 · Answer

man, you're doing good. You're on the right track.

Compared to what i've been through, what you're doing i can only dream of. you ought to raise strong and confident daughters this way.

Me? I'm still too pussy to go and talk to girls 😫 gah!

LC230 · Answer

Give her the confidence to ask questions

I love my parents but sometimes I get the impression when I ask a question it means I'm stupid when I genuinely don't know the answer and that really knocks my confidence in talking in general.

So please give her that confidence and like what others are saying, let her know her feelings are 100% valid and to not be a robotic people pleaser

HighValue · Answer

My best single piece of advice is to not let your kids have a smartphone until after they finish high school. I'm sure they will complain, but it is better to avoid many of the bad, immoral influences as much as you can.

Caroline91 · Answer

In addition to strength and confidence, we are modeling kindness with our daughters. Giving that daddy time is so important to your daughter’s development.

helloeveryone33 · Answer

truth is raiseing children is not always easy so as such my advice is this. the only advice you need is to understand you simply can't make sure that you will no matter how well raised even the best children can be pushed to do wrong as a father you can only do your best to teach them right from wrong and make sure when they do mess up they do not spiral.

Shygirl977 · Answer

Teach her that as long as she's healthy, she doesn't need to worry about being "stick thin" or having a "perfect" body

Spuen · Answer

I think other qualities would be smart/intelligent and noble/kind

HusamRocks · Answer

Be ur daughters friend, teacher, mentor, support, and dad👍🏻

Christian_Cartier · Answer

Familiarize yourself with the 4 parenting styles:

Nikki1989 · Answer

Encourage independence and emotional intelligence.

Anonymous · Answer

here's some advice you really need to take which is don't take advice from online strangers who have no vested interest in you

JesseP1nk · Answer

...

Smegskull · Answer

I would point out that you love her by default. Other people in her future have to learn to love her. So try to avoid teaching her she is gods gift to humanity.

Anonymous · Answer

The way she sees her mom treated by men and the way she sees you treat women are critical. But you’re a guy and she is a female. There’s nothing you could do. You’re too old

TheKillerJason · Answer

Put them in some kind of princess school. Patrick Bet David said something about sons and daughters need different things to make them confident. Ask your girl

Staximus · Answer

Teach her how to fight and stand up for herself, teach her not to take shit from anybody

disappoint3d · Answer

If you live in the US move with her somewhere else and never give her a cellphone.

Anonymous · Answer

Never hide the bad. Teach them how to react to it as well as the good.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, martial arts would be good for her to develop confidence and to be strong.

kaucky1 · Answer

Teach them how to fight

Crazzyyworld · Answer

U can’t turn a pig into a wolf

Jackson2005 · Answer

Not a lady lol, but you’re doing great! 💪

Samiam23 · Answer

You are more than enough

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

JUST DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE BASICALLY

Any advice for raising strong and confident daughters?

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