Should parents remove themselves from social settings if their kids are being loud?

Question

This is actually becoming a big debate here in Denmark and now I'm curious what other nations say. 😅

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I have A LOT to say about this. Number 1, I have no children, however, I get it...to an extent. You shouldn't have to be locked away if you do have kids until they are old enough not to be loud. That's ridiculous. However, there IS a limit!!!! Let it be known if you're in a diner, some restaurant that literally has cartoon characters on the walls, serves a kids menu, and offers kids crayons to color on the table, one should never expect a quiet peaceful dinner. Kids will be screaming and throwing things, everyone just deal with it. However, if you're at a five star restaurant where they don't even allow you to enter in without a jacket or a dress, there is a harpist playing live music, the cost per plate is minimum $75 per person, I better not hear your kids screaming unless you are graciously picking the tikes up and walking out of there.

Just because you have kids in that situation, doesn't mean you get to ruin my evening with them losing their minds because it's bedtime. I too have had a long work week, I too came to the place to have a nice evening, I too am entitled to hear peace and quiet conversation as I eat my meal without being assaulted by your kid throwing toys over at my table and screaming their heads off. Hear me when I say, some kids are NOT old enough to handle being in such public situations just yet. Parents need to recognize that and find babysitters or other accommodations. It is highly unfair for you to let your kid scream during a 2 hour movie while 100 other people are trying to enjoy it or just constantly scream during dinner. We know "your kids can't help it," but you can be the adult and walk them to a place to calm down elsewhere or find a babysitter.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

OK. I think the question is should parents remove their children and themselves from a social setting, if the children are being disruptive.

The way my parents handled disruptive behavior was, I or we were spoken to, and given the boundaries our behavior should not cross after one incident. If we repeated the action AGAIN, a parent would remove the child and take them to a secluded area to speak to them about stopping the behavior under threat of a spanking.

Third time meant the whack happened (in the secluded area. No public shaming.) and then if the child decided to continue misbehaving by bawling loudly, it was TIME TO GO!

The final issue of this event would happen after arriving home. My parents would say if we EVER behaved in that manner again, we would not be treated to going out anywhere again.

We were incredibly well-behaved children and went out everywhere and traveled all over the country with my parents during summer vacation. We learned where our forks and spoons were supposed to go and that good manners are important.

The VERY young have to be treated differently. But by age 4 or 5, kids know how to behave in public if given parameters. That some are allowed to cut up means the parents don't know how to give their kids boundaries/rules or are lazy or don't have good manners themselves...

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's a nation thing, or it is in a way, but it's also so much more. It depends also on generations, as seen in the comments, and social classes, because people educate their kids according to what is deemed normal in their circles. So, in a public space, assuming there is enough social diversity, how everyone reacts, as parent or audience, will vary a hell of a lot. I wouldn't expect any consensus here. Except from locations where culture would be so tight and oppressive that everyone pretty much behaves in the same manner, in social settings.

I also don't believe in fear based upbringing, even less in corporal punishment, as I think it can create extreme personality traits, such as submissive/passive adults who will later be obedient pawns in society. Or unrestricted adults going on a wild individualistic path because they mentally imploded, to get away from the cage they've been raised in. Which in turn could create extreme hierarchy serving certain political philosophies, like... The most authoritarian ones.

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

Yes, if parents bring their children to a public facility where other people gather to relax and enjoy themselves, it's their responsibility to either make sure that children are not causing a disturbance or, if they can't achieve that to remove the children from the establishment.

It is not fair to others to create an environment that is unpleasant with screaming misbehaving children.

It is part of your responsibility as a parent not to let your children disturb other people. If you can't fulfill your responsibilities as a parent, then don't become one.

FreyaRed · Answer

I took care for my younger brother lot of times. I went to grocery with him and shopping as I had school free, somehow he behaved mostly decent. Problem of many mothers is their kids get very active while they are in public places because their children aren't accustomed with other people or information overdose caused by products which target children and are placed strategically narrow places in groceries like queue at the checkouts. Those mothers are too distracted and too self absorbed by themselves to control their brats.
"Removing themselves from social setting" this is a wide topic and should be more precise where and when a mother should "remove" herself when her kid gets a tantrum. I guess in checkout queue this will be difficult since it's difficult to leave a child one minute in a car, since media made fearmongering campaign of to death cooked children enclosed in cars.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

if a kid is loud, it means there is ongoing problem with emotional regulation... the reason could be not enough attentive parents, so the kid has to yell to get their attention or any disorder going in the background like ASD or ADHD

whatever it is... it should be taken care of...

Puppystarfish23 · Answer

Parents need to learn but gentle parenting doesn't work. My mum used to just give me a look and I'd know.

I can't even remember miss behaving in social settings as a child because if I did I'm pretty sure it would have led to me being dragged by the ear outside for an arse whooping.

Shiprex · Answer

The parents should remove their kids from social settings when they're being too loud. Kids should remove their parents from social situations when they're being too loud as well. Each is responsible for the other.

SofaKingsMart · Answer

I don’t have an issue if the parent is actively trying to soothe the child.
However, if your attempts are not working, and the child is being disruptive, they should be removed from the situation. For themselves as well all those around them.

Extending little common courtesy to the people around you would make these questions unnecessary.
Unfortunately, common courtesy, common decency and common sense are no longer common these days.

Massageman · Answer

As AviatorTom says, remove the kids along with themselves. Respect needs to be taught from early on. And such a slight percentage of the younger generations lately are sadly missing respect for their elders, their teachers, any legal authority, anyone's personal property, the rights of others- basically, no respect for anything other than their sad little selves.

AviatorTom · Answer

They should remove the kids... and themselves... if their kids are being disruptive. Then, parental tough love should be used... to teach the kids manners and how not to be disruptive.

Iron_Man · Answer

if the kids are being too loud, you have to control the kids. If you can’t control them then they’ve got power over you and basically they are controlling you. why would you Remove yourself of social gatherings when you can be a parent and control your children if telling your children to be quiet doesn’t work then you’re gonna have to go to the old school style method when you get home and they will learn and they will behave in the future

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

I think so. If the kid can't behave themselves, then back home they go. That's what we were told when we were kids.

Staximus · Answer

No loud kids at funerals. Get a babysitter. Other than that, I don't care

BadApple69 · Answer

Kids need to know boundaries. Parents need to teach what those boundaries are.

Jackblue · Answer

It really depends on the situation namely how loud they are being. If it is impossible for anybody else to focus on anything other than the kid than maybe yes, it is time for the family to go home, but that should be a last resort.

exitseven · Answer

I do not mind if people bring their noisy kids to restaurants. I just smile because I am glad they are not my kids.

Apple1996 · Answer

Nope kids deserve to be in public. If the adults don't like it then they can leave

itsannalee · Answer

If you’re don’t teach your kids manners, people would.

Markella2 · Answer

Yes a separate room and have it in so we can’t hear them.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Those bratty offspring indeed lol 😆 😆 😆

Smile456 · Answer

Kids should be taught to keep it down

darkwing91 · Answer

The answer has to be yes

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I would

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