Why is he always saying she is anxious?

[Anonymous]

My friend's partner is always telling her she is anxious or worrying. I don't find her like that at all, nor does anybody else. Whenever she trys to talk to him, he tells her to stop going on, or stop worrying. She is a very fun person, but I think she is losing that as she is now unsure about what she can or can't say in case he perceives it as her worrying (even if she isn't). Why would he be like that with her. She said he has a female friend, who moaned on for ages about a problem she was having, and he didn't take that as worry, that was fine. But not so with my friend. What is wrong with him that he doesn't see her fun side and only wrongly thinks she is a worrier !

Updates

1 y

No she doesn't have anything like that at all.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's really messed up that your friend's partner is always calling her anxious and telling her to stop worrying. That's super unfair and disrespectful of him.

It sounds like he's got some kinda double standard going on - where he's cool with his other female friend "going on" about her problems, but he shuts down your friend the moment she tries to express herself or communicate with him. That's some major BS.

I don't know what his deal is, but it's not right for him to constantly dismiss your friend's feelings and personality like that. Just because he perceives her as "anxious" doesn't mean that's reality. You and the others don't see her that way at all.

It's really sad that he's causing your friend to lose her fun, playful side because she's scared to say anything in case he accuses her of worrying again. That's so messed up and controlling of him.

Your friend deserves so much better than that. She should be able to be her authentic self without having to walk on eggshells around her partner. He needs to check his behavior and stop projecting his own issues onto her.

I really hope your friend can find the strength to stand up to him about this. She shouldn't have to constantly defend herself or change who she is just to please him. Sounds like he's the one with the problem, not her. Wishing her all the best in dealing with this jerk.

[EmmiL]

She has mental health problems

[Asker]

none at all