How to make my family understand that our neighbour is touching me inappropriately?

[Anonymous]

My family has been living at this rural town since centuries and we know almost everyone around us. So this neighbour of ours, who lives 5-6 houses from our house is now in his late 60s/ early 70s and has very well witnessed my father being born, my parents' wedding and my birth. Now, there's a weird habit among people in this area, old people or grandparents often jokingly tell kids that they would marry those kids in future. This joke stems from the concept that once you're old, you return to your childhood and the children around you become your friends. As this man is my grandfather by village relations, he had the habit of joking about me marrying him when I was a kid. Now, such jokes are supposed to stop once the child is 6-7 years old. However, he didn't stop, not in my teen years, not even when I became an adult.

After completing school as I lived at different places mostly due to my studies, I didn't have to meet him often. However, recently that pattern has become more disturbing. Whenever he met me now, he caught me off-guard, coming stealthily from the back when I was paying no attention to my surroundings and then he'd place his hand on my shoulder, back or waist and whisper to my ears: "so when are we getting married? Why are you running away from me?" This happened yesterday as well, when I went out with my mother for shopping and as she picked things, I was bored and played games sitting at one place. He came stealthily, I was shocked to find a hand on my back and as I turned to my side his face was extremely close to mine. He said: "get yourself a wedding dress then". It was horrible, the sales-guy in the shop even noticed it from a distance and came to see if anything was wrong or whether I was in danger.

I have told him many times that I don't like it. But every time I'm rude to him my parents would get mad and say that these are casual jokes made by someone who is my distant grandfather and that I'm too sensitive. How do I explain myself?

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh my god, this is awful! I don't understand how your parents are dismissing this. Worse, they're telling you you're being too sensitive? This is fucking gross. This is so messed up. Do you think that they genuinely believe that these are casual jokes? Is that genuine on their part? Or are they possibly choosing to not see it for some other reason (that I couldn't even try and guess).

You need to sit your parents down, and talk to them about this. Lay it all out for them, and tell them how these interactions are making you feel. You need to explain yourself, in an environement where your parents are most likely to listen to you.

That is by asking for them to make some time to talk about something important. Don't tell them what about, until you've got them both sitting together in front of you. They're totally going to assume you're about to tell them you're pregnant. (can't be helped).

You need to explain eveything as calmly and clearly and thoroughly as you can. You would be best to write out what you want to say, or at least make yourself some notes. Do prepare beforehand, so you can make the most coherent clear case possible.

This is really wrong. I do not understand how your parents have had the reaction they did. But I have to assume that it's because they're not able to appreciate the true extent of what this man is putting you through.

I cannot imagine, that your parents won't be on your side, if they understood the reality. You need to make them understand the reality of what he's doing, and how its making you feel.

[Jay-_-]

Tell your family that he's touching you inappropriately, and you don't like it, tell them exactly this "I told him I don't like the way he's touching me and he continues to do so."

[jahaims]

Cops