Am I a terrible daughter for feeling like this?

[Anonymous]

Am I a terrible daughter for feeling like this. I can't stand my mother - I can't have a single conversation with her without her turning the conversation and making it about her - I somewhat feel a sense of loathing towards her. She says she takes accountability but she doesn't, never. She doesn't respect boundaries and when you set them she acts like a toddler, throws tantrums and blows up my phone - just to yell and talk about how immature I am. She wants to rest me like a teenager who needs her mommy and reports to her mommy, I'm way past that stage. I can't stand to smell or hear her voice.

[beefcakebradybatson]

"Smell her voice?" How do you smell someone's voice? (Take it from me, I had a sometimes conflicted relationship with my mother, but I think of her daily since her Oct.9,2003 passing at age 86. Hopefully, you two ladies will form a true mother-daughter bond before it's too late.)

It's common for parents to feel protective, sometimes overly so, of their barely adult daughters. Have a woman-to-woman talk with her, politely telling her that while you'll accept her advice, as a grown woman, you get the final say about running your life.

[BadApple69]

While in her house you need to respect her rules. Try to make peace and remember it takes two to fight. If you know she is an idiot then don’t get made when she says idiotic things…. Expect it. You should be the better person and learn from her mistakes. Hope this helps.

[Asker]

I'm literally learning from the shitty things she's done because it's so hard to not only ignore them but to not learn from them.

[BadApple69]

You are learning what not to do, and how not to be. There are a lot of bad parents out there.

[whereismyjohnny]

Absolutely not, you’re not a terrible daughter. Growing up and dealing with a narcissistic mother is incredibly hard and feeling frustration, anger, or even loathing is a natural response to constant boundary violations and emotional manipulation. If you haven’t already, consider creating physical and emotional space from her. Move out and limit contact. Protecting your well-being doesn’t make you bad.

[Asker]

@whereismyjohnny and @staximus - I don't live with her and never have, I've always lived with my aunt so I don't live her under her roof. She wants to to control everything and it's getting to me now yk. Like I said, she doesn't respect boundaries so limiting contact isn't going to work because she's most def going to annoy my aunt with calls and messages. I feel like I'm drowning in toxicity.

[Cutegirl06]

I personally don't think you're a terrible daughter. Your mother sounds like a child as a mother she should be there for you when you need her. That's what a good mother does for their children. We are both legal adults but still need guidance from adults I know I do!

[es20490446e]

The fact that she's your mother, and you love her as such, doesn't mean she's always right.

[Staximus]

Move out and then you don't have to deal with it

[Anonymous]

sometimes I see this happening between my mom and sister when my dad isn't around and probably has something to do with emotional safety and respect

[Clear_Skies10]

Spu. ds like you need some healthy space from her.

[Clear_Skies10]

*Sounds.
It's late, I better go to sleep. I can't even type anything right anymore.

[Asker]

Which country are you from?

[Clear_Skies10]

Canada.