Am I weird for feeling this way?

[Anonymous]

I (now 19f then 17/18f) used to sit next to a boy in maths and he was the opposite of me - very extroverted and friendly. He would play immature pranks such as pretending there was something on my chest and prodding me in the xiphoid bone area, just keep saying my name over and over in a lesson and pull my hoodie up. He would try and get me to listen to his TS songs such as 'Enchanted' and 'Cornelia street' which I would pretend I didn't like and text my recommendations. Sometimes he would text asking simple questions in maths even though he was the one wanting to do a maths degree.

I might have chosen to just find him annoying since I didn't think I liked him and he didn't seem to either. For example, I had stye once and when asking if it was obvious and he looked away saying "I don't look into your eye' and went silent when I asked for his birthday - I ask that question to most people, He stopped interacting after Christmas, especially with the brief January lockdown in 2021. I saw him walking ahead of me in May and he stopped to let me catch up but even then he looked uninterested in talking and I was amid an ED- still in the middle of a healthy BMI but my mind was elsewhere - so it didn't matter then. We spoke a few words in June and it was just him in a group boasting about something silly.

I think we applied to the same university, but he did not get in for some reason. I know all this sounds ridiculous but I'm now at university I think I have a massive crush on him which must have existed them and it's sad because his friendliness likely stemmed from his extroversion and he just saw me as a classmate and here I am still thinking of him - a guy who I have not spoken to or texted in a year. Obviously, I'm not just thinking about him all the time because otherwise my medical degree will go nowhere but I still think of him with fondness.

I'm embarrassed for him to know that I feel this way, so I'm not reaching out to him.

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I'll really appreciate more replies! :)

[spartan55]

Nothing ventured nothing gained. It's entirely possible that you are two different people now though.

[IsoUser]

So let's understand this you're currently a 19Yo Female time traveling back to 17Yo ,18 Yo female. Do you even know who or what you even are?

[Asker]

I meant I am 19 now and am thinking about this boy who I knew last academic year (when I was 18 for most of the time) and now am in my first year of uni and 19

[Avicenna]

Nothing to be embarrassed about, but you need to let him know

[convo_king89]

He texted right? So you have his number. He was giving u attention especially there is something on ur chest to needs to brush off.

[In_Trance]

I think you should call him

[Guy13]

OMG 😱

[Guy13]

It will be fine. First semester university you will forget all about him.

[Asker]

I'm in my final term of my first year :)

[Iron_Man]

call him now

[Asker]

I know that's probably what I should do but I was quiet and sky (well people perceived me that way) and I would feel so embarrassed telling him I like him nearly a year later when he clearly had no feelings. Thank you for your input!

[Iron_Man]

Swallow your pride and the situation your pride will get you nowhere but a loss